by Sofia Grey
As Archie or Art—or whatever his name was—led me by the hand to a space on the crowded floor, I saw Jordan. I stumbled before regaining my step. He stood in the doorway and surveyed the crowd, hands shoved casually into his trouser pockets. Was he searching for me? He looked edible. A charcoal suit hugged his body, with a snowy white shirt and a dove-gray tie underneath. He rocked a business suit like nobody else. My dancing partner tugged me closer, and we swayed to the mellow beat, but my sole focus was on Jordan.
Our gazes met. I couldn’t be sure from this distance, but it looked as though he relaxed when he saw me. He gave me the tiniest of nods and strolled toward the bar. Behind me. I wanted to see where he went. I wanted to see if he was alone.
I was being unfair to the young man trying to dance with me. I leaned forward. “Sorry. I saw someone I knew.”
His face fell. “Do you want to go?”
I couldn’t say yes. It felt akin to kicking a puppy. “Not yet. Let’s dance first.” It was the longest song in history, and if I hadn’t seen Jordan, I’d have been quite happy to stay for another or three, but that wasn’t fair to anybody.
Now the moment had come, I was nervous beyond belief. What were the protocols for dealing with an estranged husband? With an ex boyfriend, I’d normally nod acknowledgement and turn away, but I wanted to speak to Jordan. Clear the air. Get closure? Perhaps.
Isaac’s friend melted back into his group, and I walked to the bar alone, pulled by an invisible tether. I couldn’t ignore Jordan if I wanted to.
Our gazes locked again, and this time I saw a hint of a smile. He lifted a glass and tilted it in my direction. Champagne, of course. I’d think it was his favorite drink if he hadn’t told me otherwise. Shaking off the memory of a long-ago conversation, I hastened my step, an answering smile blooming on my face.
This should feel horribly awkward. When he pressed a fleeting kiss on my cheek and passed the drink to my hand, it actually felt good. Like an old, familiar pattern emerging.
“You look amazing. More beautiful even than I remember.” His compliment washed over my skin, and my cheeks heated under his gaze.
From anyone else, it would have sounded like shameless flattery, but from Jordan it felt genuine. “Thank you,” I murmured. I wanted something clever to say, but my wits had deserted me. The band started a new number, and inspiration struck. “Sophie said you paid for this. The reception. It’s very generous of you.”
He shrugged, his gaze never leaving my face. “It’s my pleasure. And my gift to them.” His lips curved up. “They look very happy together.”
“Unlike us.” I wished I could snatch the words back. His smile faltered, and pain flickered in the depths of his eyes. I sought to make amends. “I meant unlike our wedding. Not now.” I tried to explain in my tongue-tied way that I was happy to be with Jordan today, but I wasn’t sure it came out like that.
His lips thinned. “You’re happier apart.”
20.3 Jordan
Any minute now, I was going to crash and burn. Four months apart had driven me insane, and it was obvious by the way I accepted her razor-edged barb. Retreat, my failing sense of self-preservation yelled at me, but I ignored it. What did I expect? That she’d welcome me with open arms? More fool me.
And she probably thought I’d bought myself an invitation by paying for this event. I had my pride, if nothing else. I stiffened my shoulders and braced myself to leave.
“Jesus,” she muttered. “That came out all wrong.” She stared at me, her cheeks pink, and her brows tugging together into a frown.
I noticed the sparkling silver charm bracelet on her wrist, and my heart lifted. I replayed her words in my head. I might not be the only one struggling to find the right thing to say here.
I seized the moment. “Would you like to dance?”
From the impish grin that spread across her face, I knew I’d surprised her. Pleased her.
“Yes, I would.” She took a gulp of her drink and reached around me, to place it on the bar. Her breasts whispered past me and stole my breath. How could she not be aware of the effect she had on me? Should I take her hand? Would that be presumptuous? Yet again, Kate had me second-guessing everything.
I played it safe and walked her to a space on the floor, resting my hand at the base of her spine. Her dress was silky and begged to be touched. I longed to get her alone.
The first time we danced had been torture, and nothing had changed since.
Everything had changed. I had to remember that.
The song was unfamiliar, the lyrics soothing, and the beat mellow. Throwing caution to the wind, I gathered Kate in my arms. Close enough to feel her every curve, but not so tight I’d make her uncomfortable. She draped her arms loosely around my neck, and after a moment’s hesitation, I looped mine around her waist.
“Do you remember?”
Shit. She said something, and I didn’t catch it. I was too intent on the sensory overload of wrapping myself around my wife. Fuck, I’d missed her.
“Hmm?”
Her eyes sparkled with good humor. “I said, do you remember our first dance?”
Every second was seared into my brain. “Which part?”
“I wore new shoes and couldn’t walk properly.”
“You did.” I eased her closer. “That’s not all I remember.”
“No?”
“I remember your perfume. It’s not the one you’re wearing tonight.”
“You’re right.” Her smile grew.
“And you wore shiny hoop earrings.” I ran my fingers through a trailing strand of her hair and uncovered a flash of silver. “Aha. Found it.”
Kate dropped her head back and laughed—a beautiful, laid-back noise. “I like silver jewelry.”
“I know.”
“I love the bracelet. I wear it all the time.”
“I’m glad.”
“And I’m glad you came tonight, Jordan. I was a bitch on the phone; you just took me by surprise. I want to apologize.”
“No need.”
We moved slowly across the dance floor, stretching one song into a second and a third, and then she pulled back. “I need to use the bathroom.”
I released her and watched as she dodged around people to cross the floor. Something occurred to me, and I thought for a second, before heading toward the band on stage. They were taking a break between numbers.
I caught the singer’s attention. “I don’t suppose you do any Oasis covers? It’s not really your style.”
“Yeah. We do a couple of slow ones and jazz them up a bit. We could do “Wonderwall” if you’d like.”
I waited at the bar until Kate returned. It wasn’t long before she reclaimed her drink. Seconds later, the lead singer announced they were playing a special request, and the band kicked off with their version of “Wonderwall.”
Kate gaped and looked at me. “Did you ask for this?”
“I may have.”
“We have to dance to it. Come on.”
I’d dance with her all night, if she’d let me. It was like finding a tiny slice of heaven. The only problem would be letting her go.
* * * *
Saying goodbye to Kate after the wedding was beyond hard. I wanted to kiss her. Tell her what was on my mind. Ask if she might give me another chance.
I did none of those. Instead, I walked her back to Sophie’s apartment and said goodnight. If I had even one taste of her lips, I wouldn’t be able to walk away.
I had her address in Wales. She was happy for me to contact her. She asked me to call. To stay in touch.
Did she mean as friends? Was that all I could have?
20.4 Jenny
I was thrilled to see Kate again. It felt like years since we last hugged. She dropped by Mum and Dad’s on her way home from Sophie’s wedding, to sort out the details for her house. She looked tired but happy. Over coffee, we caught up some more.
“The wedding was fabulous,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “Jordan was ther
e too, and we danced. I thought it’d be difficult to see him, after everything that happened, but I was wrong.”
“You danced? At the reception, or was it a horizontal tango afterwards?”
Her cheeks pinked. “No. There was nothing like that.”
“You wanted to, though?”
“Maybe.” Her grin left no doubt.
“So why didn’t you?”
Kate nursed her drink and stared into the distance. “It was too soon, I think. I mean, I don’t know if that’s what he wants. It might be.” She dropped her head back, and it made a gentle thump as it bumped the padded cushion. “God. Listen to me. I sound like a teenaged girl with a crush on the boy next door.”
I laughed. For the first time in weeks, I felt normal. Hanging out with Kate and talking about boys was light years from stressing about Rob.
“He asked what I was doing for Christmas, and I said I didn’t know. He plans to go back to his family in the States. For a moment I thought he was going to invite me out of pity.” She pulled a face. “That would be awkward, don’t you think?”
“You could come here and spend the holiday with me.”
“That’s really sweet of you, but can I think about it and let you know? And now, you need to tell me what the deal is with Cade.”
“He’s been amazing. I couldn’t get through this without him.” He’d be here soon, to come with us to Kate’s house and see for himself how secure it was. “But you know the Christmas-pity-invite thing with Jordan? I feel like that with Cade. Like he feels so sorry for me.” I remembered how he saw me that night. Ragged. Bleeding. Broken. I was damaged goods now, and would always be in his eyes.
“And Rob? Did you find out why your mum and dad hated him so much?”
I shifted in my chair, uncomfortable at how the conversation returned to me and my failings. “Yeah. Dad knows the guy Rob used to work for. They all work in construction, and it’s a small world. Anyway, he was passed over for promotion a couple of times, and he started bragging that he had a better option. That he’d marry me and become the heir for Dad’s company.”
“Wow. I bet your father wasn’t impressed.”
“Not even slightly. The first time Rob met Dad, he said that’s what he wanted, and that he could drive a wedge between us. Between me and my parents. That they wouldn’t see me again.”
Kate stared at me, open-mouthed. “He threatened your dad? What a fuckwit. I’m surprised your dad didn’t wipe the floor with him.”
I shrugged. The words were hard to say. “I was starry-eyed in love and wouldn’t hear a word against Rob. Dad figured he and Mum needed to give me enough space to figure it out for myself, and now he’s swamped with guilt.” I sighed. “I didn’t tell them everything. I couldn’t. Dad would kill him. Really. Cade’s already on a hair trigger, and if Rob is stupid enough to show up at work, I’m afraid Cade will beat him up. And then get arrested.”
“And is Rob staying away?”
“Mostly. He found my new work number a couple of days after I changed it, so I’m having another new one. And another set of business cards. He tried emailing me too, from different accounts. As fast as the techs block him, he pops up somewhere else. It’s a nuisance. I’ve raised a request to change my email too, back to my maiden name. That’ll throw him off the scent for a while.”
I was glad when the doorbell heralded Cade’s arrival. He gave me a giant hug, and then greeted Kate. “Hey. It’s my fake girlfriend. How are you?”
She laughed and hugged him. “Hey, fake boyfriend. Are you sorry I dumped you?”
“What are you on about? I dumped you.”
“Talking of dumping”—I interrupted—”I heard from Isobel. After Greg left her, she quit at J&J and went backpacking with a friend. She sent me a couple of postcards from exotic places. I’ll show you.”
Hanging out with my friends was priceless, and another reminder I was reclaiming my life.
A couple of hours later, Kate handed over the keys. Dad and Cade had a shopping list of security improvements, and they planned to work on them today. They got on brilliantly, which made me feel happier. Rob was the only friend of mine they never liked. It was a shame I didn’t listen to them. Never again.
Kate set off for North Wales, keen to get home before dark, and I made another pot of coffee. I always loved Kate’s house, and now I could live there.
Alone.
That made me a little uneasy, but I’d be fine. I hadn’t lived on my own in years, and then only briefly, between roommates. I might come to like it.
* * * *
We returned to my parents’, and Cade stayed for dinner. Then he and I went to the movies, to watch the latest alien-invasion disaster, munch on popcorn, and laugh at the not-supposed-to-be-funny dialogue. The chance of a random Rob encounter was much smaller after dark. Like I told Cade weeks ago, I was afraid of what Rob might do to him. It was a worry that niggled constantly at the back of my mind. I couldn’t let Rob find out how close Cade and I were.
As we walked back to where he parked the bike, Cade slipped his arm through mine. “So,” he said brightly, “how do you feel about moving into Kate’s?”
“Great.” It was an automatic response. “I need my own place, and it’s closer to work.” So Cade wouldn’t have to go miles out of his way every day. I didn’t know how to ask if he’d carry on taking me to and from work. I didn’t want to sound needy.
“Uh huh. You going to buy a car? Or go by bus?” He paused. “Or I could still give you a lift. If you’d like.”
I stopped and turned to face him. “I’d love that, but it’s a huge imposition. You’re constantly babysitting me. I don’t want to tie you down.”
He wrapped his free arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a quick hug. “I offered because I want to. And who knows? I might like being tied down.”
Stupid tears pushed at the backs of my eyes. “Kinky,” I said, and he chuckled.
“I know you need to move on, and I fully support you, but I’m nervous at you being on your own. And… I have a suggestion. If you want a roommate for a few months, just until you’re settled in, I could come and stay. My place is cramped, and one of the guys is getting serious with his girlfriend, so she’s about to move in. Have a think about it. I’ll split the bills and give you a ride to work.” He gave me a gentle squeeze. “I also make a fucking awesome curry.”
“Are you serious?”
“I never joke about food.”
I buried my face in his warm, strong chest. My reaction was an immediate yes, but there was something I had to know first. “We’re just friends, though. I can’t think about anything more at the moment.”
“I wouldn’t want you to. Is that a yes?”
“Yes, please. I would very much like that.”
Another problem solved. Another step back to normalcy.
Chapter 21
21.1 Jordan
I lay restless all night, wishing things were different. I couldn’t turn back the clock, but I could move forward and do things properly this time. Show Kate how much I wanted her, and that I was willing to make the changes, if she’d have me.
There would be a lot of upheaval for me, but when I fell asleep, it was with a smile on my face. I’d made my decisions, and they felt good.
I talked to Marcus and Louisa first. They were surprised but supportive. Next was Cassie. To my relief, things weren’t awkward after the brief kiss we shared. I asked her to clear my schedule for the next few days. I also asked her to arrange a meeting with Thaddeus for the end of the week. He might be my father, but I didn’t get any favors from him.
Now for the hardest thing on my list—winning Kate back.
* * * *
It rained constantly, the traffic to Manchester was slow moving, and I still had another hundred miles to drive, according to the GPS. I wished I’d left earlier, but there was a mountain of papers to sign and decisions to make. Would I miss that? Probably not the hours I worked. I stopped for cof
fee and called Kate, to check she was at home.
“Hey.” She sounded surprised. Pleased? “I was just thinking about you.”
She was? I smiled. “Hey, you. I wanted to make sure you got home okay.”
Laughter trickled down the line. “Yes, I did. Thank you. I went to see Jenny. She’s moving into my old house, so I got home late afternoon.”
I’d imagined Kate moving back to Manchester at some point, but this was not the time to ask. “It was good to see you again,” I said. “Very good.”
“Yes.” She paused, and my stomach tied itself into a knot. “It was.”
Did I let her know I was on my way to see her, or surprise her? Or something between the two? “I’d love to see where you’re living now.”
“I’d like that.”
I closed my eyes. Yes. This was good news. I made an excuse, said goodbye, and resumed the journey.
Half an hour after leaving the motorway, on the edge of North Wales, the countryside opened up into vast swathes of green, with snow-tipped mountains in the distance. The scenery was fascinating and a million miles from London. The sun peeked out from behind clouds, and it all looked even prettier.
My plan was to arrive around two in the afternoon, but weather and traffic slowed me down. It was closer to four, and the sun slipped down the sky. It’d be dark in less than an hour.
The GPS led me down a series of country lanes, and through a pair of stone gateposts and up a rough, graveled driveway, to a gray stone mansion. Whoa. This was Kate’s place? It was impressive and way bigger than I imagined.
I climbed out of the car, yawned, stretched, and breathed in a lungful of the fresh salt-tinged air. This place must be close to the sea. It was a nice location. Did she prefer living here to the city? It must be a hell of a change of pace.
I’d only walked a few yards, when I heard a snipping noise. I diverted to the sweeping lawn at the front of the house and saw Kate. Armed with a pair of pruning shears, she hacked at a bush, creating a stack of twigs and branches on the ground.
