by Sofia Grey
“I love you. I’ll do whatever it takes to show you. Just tell me.”
21.5 Kate
I’d gone from excitement to hope, to despair, and back to hope again in the space of a few hours. Jordan looked wrecked. If I’d ripped out his heart and stomped on it, I don’t think he’d have looked worse.
“I want to find a way for us to be together,” I said, trying to sound confident and most likely failing. “I don’t plan to go back to work yet, but having moved here, I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Maybe we could do a part-time thing, where we come here on weekends.” I sighed. “God. Even as I suggest it, I know it’ll be impossible.”
“I have a better solution.” Jordan caught my other hand and held both tight. “I give up my job and work freelance. I can work from anywhere. Here or Manchester, or wherever you like.”
“Freelance,” I echoed. “You run the European arm of a giant company, Jordan. How could that work?”
“Like I said, I give it up. You should know I’ve talked to Marcus and asked him to take over. He’s more than qualified. I’m an engineer at heart. I started out on the design team, working on components, and I can go back to that. I want to.” A smile grew on his face, a confident gleam in his eyes.
I let myself hope some more. “Are you sure?”
“More than anything. I need to officially step down from my position, and I requested an appointment with Thaddeus at the end of the week. I’d like you to come with me, to Houston. To meet my family.”
My pulse quickened as his words sank in. “You planned this? On the chance I’d say yes?”
“Yes. Because you’re the single most important thing in my life. I forced so much on you. It’s my turn to make the changes. To show you I’m serious. And Kate, I have to tell you. I didn’t know TM-Tech had taken over ComCo, truly I didn’t. I never had anything to do with it. Hell, I didn’t even know about it until Sophie told me.”
“I know.” I spoke softly. “And that’s in the past, where it belongs. I want to move forward now, with you. Would you move in here?”
“Are you inviting me?”
It was a dream come true. There was still a lot to work through, but this was a huge step in the right direction. I allowed myself a few moments to imagine our future together. “Yes, I am. Please move in with me, Jordan. Be my husband again.”
I wasn’t sure who moved first, but a heartbeat later, I threw my arms around his neck while he pulled me tight against his body. His kiss was gentle, but I didn’t want to wait. “Sofa. Now.”
His smile was a thing of beauty. “Yes, ma’am.”
We fell on the sofa together, wrapped around each other. This was going to be a wild ride, and I couldn’t wait.
Jordan made a muffled noise deep in his throat and kissed me hungrily, flicking his tongue against my mouth. Memories of our lovemaking flooded me, and I matched his hunger. I wanted to melt into him. I imagined my body dissolving in a puddle of desire, my flesh sizzling beneath him.
He held me for a long time, showering me in kisses, pressing his mouth to my throat and down the front of my dress. I dropped my head back, as he blazed a fiery trail with his lips across my collarbone and to the base of my throat. I ran my fingers through his soft hair, and then snaked down to tug at his shirt, desperate to feel bare skin.
He brushed his hands against my breasts, and I gasped. Every nerve ending tingled. My nipples pushed against the silky dress I wore, begging for his touch. Rational thought disappeared. I pulled the dress over my head, revealing my prettiest lace bra and pants.
Jordan sat back and stared at me.
“I’m fat.” I felt desolate and reached for the dress, to cover myself, but he tossed it to the floor and stroked me, as if I were a cat.
“You’re beautiful.” Jordan couldn’t take his eyes off me. “You’re luscious. Like a fruit ready for picking.” He’d never been so poetic before.
He cupped my breasts in his hands, pretending to weigh them. “These are bigger.” He circled my navel with his hand and dropped a kiss there. “This is softer.” He pressed his face to my cleavage and murmured in a husky voice, “You’re perfect.” He looked up and stroked my hair. “Promise me not to have this cut off again. You look delicious with it tumbling over your face. And please don’t lose any weight.” His tone was serious. I was touched, a little overwhelmed, and breathless with desire.
He unfastened the last couple buttons on his shirt. I helped slide it off his shoulders and down his arms, and I felt his warm skin at last. He got busy with my bra, and moments later freed my breasts and pressed his face to my chest.
“So pretty,” he whispered. He teased my nipples with his tongue, flicking the sensitive buds, then nipping gently.
The combined pain and pleasure made me groan. I’d missed him so much. Missed this. I was impatient for more. I pulled him up gently by the hair, and kissed him hungrily. “Jordan, I want you. Now.”
He smiled. “You’ve got me,” he whispered, before burning another trail down my body with his tongue. He cupped one hand over my lacy pants and must have felt how damp they were—how much I wanted him.
I wriggled to slip out of them.
“Kate,” he murmured as he moved back and nudged my legs apart, working another trail of kisses up the inside of my thigh. “My Kate.”
Time slowed. I shuddered as he traced his fingers over my wetness and slipped them inside me easily, pushing and teasing, and pulling a low moan from me. He followed with his tongue, and rational thought ceased to exist. I rocked around his fingers, as I felt my climax building. “Jordan,” I said with a gasp, “I’m coming.”
His tongue darted faster over my swollen clit, and I couldn’t hold back. Wave after wave crashed over me, and I writhed beneath him, washed away by the intensity. He rode out the storm and moved back up to take my mouth, as he unfastened his jeans. My world reasserted itself, and I hurried to pull down his boxers, eager to see and feel him again.
I’d been incomplete without him long enough. I needed him to make me feel whole.
He fitted a condom, and positioned himself, before nudging easily inside me. He groaned, eyes half closed, as I wrapped myself around him, legs tight around his back. “God, Kate. This feels so… I’ve wanted you for so long. Was afraid to believe this could happen.”
I closed my mouth over his, indulging in his kiss, grazing my teeth against his lower lip.
He pressed deeper, slow movements that filled me. Possessed me.
I lay beneath him, his hands cupping my face, our bodies pressed together as he drove deeper. Harder.
“I can’t hold back.” His voice was hoarse. His thrusts became urgent. He pounded into me, sweeping me headlong into another dizzying spiral of pleasure.
I dug my fingernails in his back and whimpered, as my insides exploded moments before he cried out. I pulled him to me, feeling him tremble with the strength of his release.
He lay on top of me. I felt his heart racing against my skin, then he eased out of me and pulled me into his arms, holding me closer than I thought possible.
We lay entwined, unwilling to separate our bodies. I sighed, replete. Whatever our differences, I needed Jordan. Without him, a part of me was missing.
Chapter 22
22.1 Kate
At first I thought it to be another dream. I lay in bed, Jordan tangled around me, his breath drifting across my skin. The pleasant ache between my legs reminded me this was real, and I rolled over, to feast my eyes on him and refresh my memory. I stared in wonder at his familiar features, then examined the new grooves and lines across his forehead, and the shadows beneath his eyes. I traced the curve of his lips with one finger and followed with my mouth, hoping to wake him. Gray eyes blinked at me, and then focused, as he caught my wandering fingers and guided them down his body.
“Good morning.” I spoke softly, delighting in his obvious pleasure when I squeezed my fingers around him. “I thought you had a meeting today, in Manchester?”
“Let’s stay here instead.”
“What about your meeting?” I protested weakly as he closed his lips around my breast.
He paused a moment, raised his head slightly. “Oh, that. My assistant will set up a new date for it.”
“You’re incorrigible.” I laughed, breathless as he lit another slow burning fire within me, teasing first one nipple then the other with his tongue.
“And you’re irresistible.”
Hours later, we lay curled around each other, still in bed, and Jordan stroked my hair. “I wish we could turn the clock back.” He sounded wistful, and I sighed.
I reached for his hand. Squeezing his fingers, I said, “There are still things we need to talk about, but I’m not sure if I’m ready yet.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
Our fingers entwined and I sighed again. “Jordan, I’d trust you with my life. It’s me. I don’t trust myself to open up to you.” He watched me, his fingertips stroking my palm, and I went on. “Does that make any sense?”
“Yes.” He kissed my neck and swept around to the base of my throat, his lips warm against my burning flesh. “Kate, I’m not going to rush you this time. We’ll go as slow as you want.”
“There’s something I need to understand—why you were so desperate to get married when you found out I was pregnant. Why you were so remote from me.”
“I wanted our child to have two parents. My childhood didn’t amount to much, and I’d hate to bring a child into that sort of situation.”
“Did you think I’d get an abortion?”
A flush lit his cheeks, but he held my gaze. “Maybe.”
“I couldn’t do that.” I paused. “My doctor said there are no guarantees, but it’s highly likely another pregnancy would be fine. If we ever wanted to try.”
Jordan tensed in my arms. “I don’t want to take that risk again.” He held me close. “There’s something I didn’t tell you about my mother. She went into labor early with my sister. Neither of them survived.”
I gazed at him, speechless. I tried to imagine him as a small child, mourning his mother and the sister he never got a chance to know. “Was this why you were so horrified when I said I was pregnant?”
“Yes.” He looked stricken, and I regretted bringing up the subject.
“I’m so sorry for that. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you.”
“I was terrified I’d lose you. There wasn’t no room left to be excited. Then, when I made you lose the baby, I wanted to die as well.”
“Wait. What? How did you make me lose the baby?”
His face twisted in pain. “We were arguing, and you stood up quickly. I grabbed your arm, and you fell onto the bed. That was it, wasn’t it?”
“No. It wasn’t. Jesus. That’s what you thought?” I burrowed my face against him. “I was having pains before that. Headaches, like my head was being drilled open. I would have lost our baby, whether we argued or not. You cannot blame yourself. Not even a tiny bit.”
“I don’t know what to say. I was so sure it was me. All I could think of was how much you hated me.”
“I never hated you. I was too angry at my loss, and I lashed out at you. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry for anything. I was so sure it was my fault, I couldn’t live with myself. I fell apart. I couldn’t think of anything but you and the baby and what I’d done—what I thought I’d done.” He kissed me. “It wasn’t pretty. I owe Marcus and Louisa big time. They moved in with me and nagged me into some semblance of normalcy. But that’s all done now. I don’t want to think about it anymore.”
“I wish I’d known. I wish I could have talked to you. There was so much wasted time.”
“We need lots of practice, communicating. I’m starting now. I love you, my beautiful wife.”
* * * *
It was a perfect few days. Even the weather complied, and the sun shone down on us. We explored the area together, ate in local pubs, and enjoyed fish and chips straight from the paper. Making love in front of the fire was officially my new hobby.
I also took Jordan down to the beach. We walked miles, hand in hand, pausing to skim stones across the water or just to kiss. The rectory was less than a mile away from the sea, a long, curved, sandy beach I loved as a child. I’d played there under Gran’s watchful gaze, and I now showed him my favorite place—an ancient wooden bench at the base of a derelict hotel.
We sat out of the wind and talked more. Jordan wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “There are places in Houston I want to take you. Show you where I played as a kid. Where I like going now.”
“I can’t wait. I’ve never been before.”
“Cassie booked us flights from Heathrow, for Friday afternoon. Why don’t we drive down on Thursday, spend the night in my apartment, and you can meet Lou and Marcus?”
“I’d like that. I need to put Billy into the cattery while we’re away, but he should be fine for a few days.” I snuggled in Jordan’s arms. “How soon will it be before you can move up here?”
“I want to make sure Marcus is settled first. It’ll take a couple of weeks.” He pressed a series of kisses against my hair. “How about I get everything done by the twentieth? We can start our new life together here at Christmas.”
“Best Christmas present ever.”
“That reminds me.” He lifted our linked hands and laid them on my thigh. “There’s something missing.” He dug in his pocket and produced a flash of gold. My wedding ring. Tears pricked at my eyes, and I bit my lip, to hold them back. Jordan eased the ring onto my finger and kissed it. “I love you. More than I ever thought possible.”
My heart threatened to explode with happiness.
After so many long and lonely nights apart, we were in no hurry to fix everything at once. This slow, relaxed healing was what our relationship needed, to have a chance.
22.2 Jenny
Marella was red-eyed and looked upset when she came back from lunch on Thursday.
I walked over and gave her a sympathetic smile. “You having a bad day? If you want to talk about it, I’ve got half an hour.”
She looked down at her desk and then picked up a pen and rolled it between her fingers. “I saw Adam today, and he was with another girl. I shouldn’t let it get to me.”
“I’m sorry. It will get easier, though.”
She wouldn’t meet my gaze. Her focus was on the pen, as it rolled back and forth. “I’m struggling to be friends with you right now, Jenny. I think you should know.”
“What? Why?”
She looked up. “I’m still your line manager, and I assure you I’ll remain professional. I can’t be friends. Not now.”
I was missing something. “What did Adam say?”
“It wasn’t Adam. It was Rob.”
A chill descended in the atmosphere with the finality of her words. I didn’t understand. “What did Rob say? And when? I’m confused.”
“Look, Jenny, you know how hard it’s been for me, knowing Adam was cheating. How painful it’s been, with the trust issues and everything. It makes me rethink people and evaluate them differently. I can’t trust you. Not on a personal basis.”
My mind spun but clung to one fact. Rob had been talking to Marella. “Please tell me what Rob said about me. I need to know.”
Marella looked left and right, and then leaned forward. “I’d suggest we take this into a meeting room, but it’ll only take a few seconds. You cheated on Rob with Cade. You pushed him into the same place I am now with Adam. And that’s why I can’t stay your friend.”
I was too horrified to hold back my words. “That’s bullshit.”
“Oh, for Christ’s sake. Come with me.” Marella shoved her chair back and strode away from her desk and into the nearest empty room. At any other time, I might have been nervous, but right now, I was angry.
As soon as the door was closed, I let loose. “What do you mean I cheated on Rob? That’s crazy. I didn’t.”
“As house mates. We’re friends; that’s all.”
Marella’s arms were folded, her face tight with annoyance. “You must think I’m blind or stupid. I’ve seen the two of you together, travelling to work and back. Going for lunches and coffees, and whispering at your desks. I can’t tell you how to run your private life, and as long as your work is good, I can’t make a fuss, but you may as well wear a sign that announces you’re a couple. I feel like the biggest fool ever, because I believed you. I trusted you, Jenny, like I trusted Adam.”
I was stunned by her outburst, and then the reality sank in. I groped for a chair. “Rob said I cheated on him?”
“Well, yes.”
“When? How long ago? When did he say that?”
She hesitated. “Yesterday.”
That made no sense either. “You said you bumped into him in Sainsbury, but that was Monday. Did you bump into him again yesterday?”
“We met for lunch again.”
“Again?”
“You were quite clear about not wanting to know the details. Very specific.” Her voice was prim.
I groaned and sank my head into my hands. “I had no idea you’d see him again.”
“It’s really none of your business.”
“It is, when he’s spreading lies about me.”
“I’ve seen him. Rob is a broken man, reeling from your affair and trying to make sense of what he thought was his perfect life. While you… you’re smiling and happy, and moving in with your boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend.” I had the distinct impression she wasn’t listening.
“You’d just moved into that gorgeous house in Hale Barns. You had everything, and you threw it away. Rob adores you. He keeps asking me what he needs to do, to win you back.”
“Keeps asking you? How many times have you seen him?”
“Not your business, Jenny.”
I felt sick. He’d twisted everything to Marella. She always liked him—had told me many times how perfect a husband he was—and was envious of the attention he paid me. Why didn’t I tell her he was violent? Oh, yeah. Because I was ashamed of being seen as a victim. This had to stop.
