by Mari Yamaoka
If I had … Then
Volume 2
Still Another Life
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, events, and locals are coincidental.
All rights reserved.
No part of this may be copied or reproduced in any media without prior permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
The Library of Congress has cataloged the digital edition of this work.
Mari Yamaoka © 2018
Cover & illustrations, created and edited by
Mari Yamaoka
eBook ISBN: 978-1-54394-685-7
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1 Grocery Shopping
Chapter 2 Entrepreneur
Chapter 3 Good-Looking Man
Chapter 4 DINKS
Chapter 5 Another Woman
Chapter 6 Learning
Chapter 7 Discovery
Chapter 8 MANSION (Apartment)
Chapter 9 Female Researcher
Chapter 10 Today
Prologue
Mika Yamada is a contract office worker who recently had her 40th birthday. She lives in a small studio rental apartment in Tokyo, and spends her days commuting back and forth to her office.
She used to be a full-time employee, but when her old company restructured, she lost her job. After a couple weeks of job-hunting, she started working her current position doing contract clerical work.
Mika, who is still single despite her best efforts, received a time machine on her 40th birthday from her “future relative.” She goes back to her past to re-do her life, in hopes of finding herself in a better situation.
* * *
According to the 4-dimensional space-time theory, time is in a state in which multiple temporal spaces with different frequencies overlap 4-dimensionally, and they all co-exist simultaneously.
If a person puts herself in a powerful electromagnetic field, her body frequency may change. As a result, she may be able to time slip, sort of like changing the channel on the television.
* * *
The time machine Mika received consists of a headset, which reads memories from the brain, and a controller that produces the powerful 3D electromagnetic field that makes the time travel possible.
Mika returned to the fork of her life when she was 25, when a sincere, but not very attractive college classmate named Toshihiko, suggested they marry and have children. She was not interested then, but after so many years spent alone, she decided to give him another chance. When she returned to the present, she found herself as a housewife, living in a suburban single-family home. However, she had also become a shopping addict, and had large debts. Toshihiko, who turned out to be her husband, got into a struggle with a loan shark YAKUZA who harassed Mika for her inability to repay her debts. He was stabbed with a knife and died from loss of blood.
In order to prevent Toshihiko’s death, Mika went back to the time fork and rejected his proposal, just like she had in her original life. In the present, she was single once more, and back in her tiny urban studio, which felt even smaller after living in her house with Toshihiko.
At the work office, she overheard some of the younger female workers speaking ill of her. Mika was sick of working in the same office as them. If only she was rich, and didn’t have to work for a living.
So she decided to go back in time, to an arranged blind date with a wealthy man named Junichi, 9 years her senior. In the past, she declined his invitation to a second date because he was plump and not “her type.” This time, she attentively listened to her date’s boasting about his success, and met him again for a drive on his Mercedes sports car along Shonan Beach.
When she woke up, she found herself in a luxurious bedroom in a coastal villa with a swimming pool that might have belonged in a hotel resort. She examined her large walk-in closet, where she found plenty of designer clothes, bags, and jewelry. A maid brought her breakfast in bed. Finally, she’d found the life she deserved as Junichi’s wife!
However, the mother-in-law told Mika that there isn’t enough beef in the fridge, which is Junichi’s favorite. Mika was a bit annoyed at first, but then realized it’d be fun to go grocery shopping in a chauffeur-driven car.
Chapter 1
Grocery Shopping
Mika and her mother-in-law arrive at an upscale supermarket.
Once they get inside, Mika pushes their cart, while her mother-in law picks the groceries and throws them inside. It’s sort of a fancy market, and as such, prices are higher than at ordinary stores.
Beef costs 3,500 yen per 100g, or about 3.5 ounces. The mother-in law picks the most expensive cut, which costs 22,000 yen (about US$200).
From the way her mother-in-law so nonchalantly decides on the expensive beef, Mika realizes that prices do not matter for her. Is this what it’s like to be rich?
Mika decides to pick some of her favorite foods as well. She picks a few different kinds of imported cheese, and also Italian prosciutto, and a fancy Hokkaido brand YUBARI melon. Yet, she hesitates when reaching for the caviar. Just a small jar is 9,800 yen, or about $95. Is it too much?
The mother-in-law notices, and nods encouragement, so Mika happily picks up the caviar. What a fantastic feeling, to be able to pick things without worrying about prices.
When Mika and Junichi’s mother get to a cashier with a cart full of groceries, the mother-in-law stands to the side and waits while Mika puts the food on the counter.
The cashier’s machine adds up the items for a grand total of 64,000 yen. Maybe I took it a little too far, Mika thinks to herself, feeling a little guilty.
In her entire life, Mika has never spent so much money on a single grocery shopping trip, but Junichi’s mother takes out her wallet and pays in cash, as if the total isn’t even worthy of her attention. Mika catches a glimpse inside her wallet, packed with 10,000 yen bills, which are worth about $94 each. If Mika had to guess, she’d estimate probably 150,000 yen, or $1,400 in there.
For a moment she remembers the life of an ordinary housewife, when she was Toshihiko Kobayashi’s wife. For a family like the Kobayashi’s, 64,000 yen would have been an entire month’s grocery budget.
If we had a wallet like that, Toshi wouldn’t have died! Mika thought to herself, unable to keep from frowning.
But that was another life, gone now. She could never go back. Might as well make the best of her new life as rich housewife, where shopping sprees are totally allowed, and no problem at all.
Once they finished checking out, they got back inside the waiting car, and Junichi’s mother instructed the chauffeur to stop by a nearby cake shop. The showcase inside is full of beautifully decorated desserts of all kinds; cakes, pastries, and jellies with fruits.
Mika licks her lips, her mouth watering. Mika feels like tasting them all.
Junichi’s mother asks a clerk to pick out her favorites and tells Mika to do the same. Grinning, Mika asks for some cakes, cooled jellies topped with fresh fruit pieces, and a couple of fruit tarts. She couldn’t wait to eat them later.
Chapter 2
Entrepreneur
Mika prepares dinner with Junichi’s mother in the extravagant kitchen. “Don’t prepare the meats until Junichi gets home,” she tells Mika. So Mika works on the appetizers and salad instead.
Junichi comes home a little later. Mika tries to hide it, but she can’t help feeling astonished and taken aback to see him.
He’d become so obese—round like a sumo wrestler, but not as tall. He looks much older than the time she met him at OMIAI (arranged date).
His hair had thinned, and th
e top of his bald head is shiny. His voice sounds breathy, as if he’s burdened by simply walking.
When Junichi was 38 year old, he was less obese and had full hair. However, 50 year old Junichi looks very different.
He had changed so much that he looks like a different person. His manner of talking had become a bit bossier since she’d first met him, but that was probably because he was so used to commanding his employees.
The chair under his big buttock looks small. He devours a big steak, drinks a beer in a large jug, and smokes a cigarette after the dinner.
It’s no wonder he looks so unhealthy. He needs to exercise, burn some calories and lose weight. He also needs to cut down on alcoholic drinks and cigarettes.
At bedtime, Mika and Junichi move to their bedroom. Junichi goes into the bathroom while Mika removes her makeup, washes her face, brushes her teeth, and then rubs skin lotion onto her cheeks. After so many new things in just one day, she’s feeling pretty overwhelmed. Somehow, she has to learn to cope with her new husband, bald and obese Junichi.
Junichi brushes his teeth, takes bath and comes to bed. When he sits down, the mattress squeaks from his weight. Mika is intimidated, but since he’s her wedded husband, it’s her duty to deal with him.
She thinks about all those beautiful and petite wives of Sumo wrestlers; how do they deal with their husbands?
When Junichi comes over to her, she worries he’ll crush her with his weight. She closes her eyes.
His breath becomes faster and shorter with his panting, and then suddenly, he stops. All at once, he falls to the floor and stops moving.
He’s not breathing.
Mika examines his face—his eyes are open, but completely still. “ANATA (you: darling)? ANATA?” She shakes him by the shoulders, but no response. She checks his pulse. Nothing.
She screams. Then with the interphone Mika shouts, “Someone call for help, quick! Please, call an ambulance immediately!”
The maid and Junichi’s mother rush into the bedroom. His mother drops to her knees beside him, tears running down her cheeks.
“Junichi!” she shouts.
“Ah, Junichi!” She turns to Mika, hysterical.
“Please, do CPR!”
But Mika does not know how. His mother pushes Mika aside and tries to do it herself, but her old, thin arms and hands have no power, and she tires in moments.
“Just do it like I did!” she tells Mika.
Mika tries her best, but cannot revive him.
By the time an ambulance arrives, 15 minutes have passed. At the hospital, they try to use AED, an Automated External Defibrillator. Unfortunately, Junichi does not resume breathing, and is gone.
The funeral for Junichi is attended not only by his relatives, but also his company employees and business clients. It is a magnificent ceremony. Junichi’s mother is the most grieved. Mika feels guilty for some reason, and an odd uneasiness.
When the mourning is over, problems about managing the company have emerged. No one in the family can take Junichi 's role. He had no brother. His older sister is married and lives far away. Junichi's son is only 8 years old. Nobody knows business well in the family except his mother-in-law, but she is far too old. So, as his widow, Mika is appointed as the new president.
Having suddenly becoming a female president, she feels baffled and at a complete loss.
Mika knows very little about his family business, but decides to try her best.
At the office, employees slowly bow their heads to her. Yet somehow, she feels an unwelcoming sensation in the air: especially from one of the executives, Honda. He is an employee who has worked over 30 years for the company, and knows the business the best. When Mika asks Honda questions, he answers in a condescending tone.
Mika had started an accounting course, but had quit before finishing. If she hadn’t stopped going, she might be better able to manage the company. For now, she’s like a fish out of water, and feels completely out of place. It’s a heavy burden to be the president without the knowhow of business management.
Just a few months after the death of Junichi, the performance of the company had already declined, and the balance turned from surplus to deficit.
Unfortunately, the company is forced to sell some assets in order to pay off their creditors. A business partner company proposes a merger, in order to absorb them.
When Mika reports the merger proposal to her mother-in-law, she gets more furious than a raging bonfire.
"What are you saying? You cannot be serious! This company was built by the hard work of my late husband, and Junichi’s successes helped it become even larger. Merger? That’s out of question!" she cries, her face turning bright red.
“It’s all your fault. You didn’t take good care of Junichi’s health, so he died. You ruined him and the company,” she said with a face like a female demon HANNYA mask.
Mika is startled at her rage. Her inner voice speaks, “Why me? It’s you who brought up the son who indulged in unhealthy habits. You bought him high-cholesterol beef, and let him drink beer and smoke cigarettes as much as he liked.”
But Mika doesn’t say what is on her mind. She does not talk back to her, and besides, she’s grieving for her son. Not to mention, his mother is not the type to quietly listen to others. If Mika said something, it would just agitate her even more, and makes things worse. The mother-in-law has been always in charge of the household.
One day, there’s a phone call from Mika’s mom. She tells Mika that her father has collapsed from a stroke, and is hospitalized.
Mika wants to go visit her father immediately and support her mother, but she cannot. Her duties as the president keep her tied down to work; there’s no way she can go see her parents with her company in its current form.
Mika is appalled with the idea that she may have to live the rest of her life under the control of a headstrong mother-in-law, and spend most of her time managing a family business that she doesn’t even understand.
Junichi’s mother is just so demanding it’s almost like Mika is her puppet, and sometimes even her slave. Mentally, she’s exhausted, tortured, and the future seems bleak.
One evening, lying alone in a king-size bed, Mika sighs. Even with so much wealth, she could not avoid crisis, and still had so many problems.
I always thought life would be easier, and everything would work out as long as I had money. I guess I was wrong.
And really, what is happiness? A mental state, not something bought, or acquired through owning material things. She’d always thought that was just a saying, but now that she has the money; she realizes how true it is.
So Mika decides to change the past again.
She takes out the time machine, and sets it to the time when she first met Junichi with OMIAI, the arranged blind date, which led to her current widowed life.
With its “Boon, boon!” electric sound, a shining electromagnetic field like a 3D projection vision about a foot taller than her appears. Mika enters the field.
The bright light flickers, and the sounds get stronger and faster. Mika feels dizzy, and closes her eyes.
* * *
When she opens them again, she’s inside the lady’s room of a hotel. She looks at herself in the mirror— young and pretty, in a cute red dress and pinned-up hair.
Taking a deep breath, Mika heads into the lobby. She sees Junichi right away, who arrived in a Mercedes convertible. 38 year old Junichi does not look old.
He’s still a bit plump, but definitely not obese - just a few extra pounds.
Just a nice, young entrepreneur, Mika thinks. But she is not going to go down the same path again.
During the lunch date, Junichi talks about his family and life. He brags about his success and the affluent life, and pauses after his boasts as if waiting for her compliments. However, Mika remains quiet, and barely even looks at his face.
Junichi begins to frown a lot, seems disappointed with Mika’s attitude. He must’ve expected her to praise him. In
stead, Mika acts like a wet blanket during the conversations.
Finally, Junichi seems to catch the hint and realize there’s no connection here. He quickly loses interest in Mika.
Junichi looks at his wristwatch and says, “I have to go now.” He finishes paying the bill, and then leaves the dining room and hotel.
“I’m sorry,” Mika says quietly.
She remains in the hotel until she finishes her tea, wondering if she’d ever see Junichi again.
Chapter 3
Good Looking Man
"Mika wakes up in her studio apartment.
“I’m alone again,” she murmurs, both relieved and oddly melancholy to be back home.
This time she had been in the past much longer than the previous time travel.
It’s Saturday morning, not a weekday, so she doesn’t have to rush to the office. Besides, she wants to put off the confrontation with Harumi and the other young office girls. It feels strange to be back and dealing with such… mundane problems, after what she’d been through with Junichi.
Still, this is her life, and as a single woman on the weekend, what would she do with her day?
She decides to go window-shopping in the afternoon in Omotesando, a trendy area next to Harajuku.
It’s a sunny afternoon, and many people stroll the tree-lined avenue. She spots some fashionable couples, smiling and holding hands.
Seeing them makes her realize; in her own timeline, she hasn’t gone out on a date with anyone for ages.
When’s the last time I was truly in love? She wonders to herself.
She’d been on countless blind dates, but they’d all felt more like interviews than romance. They weren’t exactly fun, either, and were completely missing those oh-so-important heartthrob feelings.
