It wasn't just Ellie he didn't want to lose. Edward realized he had fallen hard for Anna. It was impossible to hold back with her in his arms. Stepping back from her was harder than he ever wanted to admit to. It didn't help that they were stuck with one another every hour of the goddamned day. He couldn't get any separation. He was forced to look at her. Watch her pad around like a ghost. She had been so depressed that first week, then they had fallen into one another. And like some kind of magic she was almost happy. Being blinded was horrible, yes, but she could deal.
Fate was a cruel bitch. Edward had everything taken from him. Losing Ellie, losing his home, his life was bad enough, being turned into some kind of freak. Anna was the one bright spot in it all. Now he couldn't have her. It wasn't fair. Hurting her tore his heart into pieces. Every time he looked at her, Edward wanted to pull her back to him. To tell her that he was in love with her.
With one hand, he worked at pulling Ellie toward him. Edward just couldn’t connect with her anymore. He didn’t understand her anymore. The hardness of her eyes, the way she looked at life now, he hated it. He hated it because it was his fault. He made her a murderer. With the other hand, he pushed Anna away. He wondered what he had done to deserve this. Edward never claimed to be a saint. But he had thought of himself as a good man. Now he was something different.
So many mistakes. He heard Ellie laughing somewhere in the house. It made his heart flutter. He loved that sound. Edward knew she would make it without him. She would be fine. It was him that couldn't let go. Edward felt a cold stab of fear. He was afraid to die. He was supposed to be some inhuman, indestructible monster, and instead, it made him weak. It left him scared as hell. It left him alone, barely hanging on. He wondered if he was the only one.
Chapter 4
Sweat poured from her forehead. The stained wife-beater she wore over a pair of polka-dotted panties soaked through. Ellie’s head whipped back and forth, her hair a halo of gold beneath her. Every ragged breath she took made her chest heave.
“No,” she mumbled. Her hand reached behind her back, but the Heckler wasn’t there. “Vincent!”
Vincent’s eyebrows furrowed. He rolled over wrapping his arms around her struggling form. “I’m right here, El. I’ll always be right here,” he whispered to her. Still, she fought. “Baby, wake up. Come back to me.” Vincent’s voice was a gentle caress. He touched her face.
Ellie sat up. A gasp tore free of her throat. She stared wide-eyed at the wall trying hard to catch her breath. Vincent’s warm fingertips traced over her back. She looked over her shoulder at him. Vincent lay on his back. His naked chest practically glowed in the darkness. He gave her a knowing, sympathetic look.
“You’re going be alright. I got you.”
Ellie gave him a smile that didn’t reach her haunted eyes. He could see the fear in her. She turned to him, falling into his arms. Ellie pressed her ear to his chest listening for the sure and steady beat of his heart. She counted the beats listening for the skip. His feverish heat calmed her. That sound comforted her. She closed her eyes and let him chase all her fear away.
Vincent stared up at the ceiling, his fingers sliding through her wet hair. “Same dream?” he asked softly.
Ellie’s nightmares started the night those damned mercs busted in her door and stole her brother from her. They changed over this past year. The faces of the people she killed screaming hateful things at her. The horrible things they were doing to Edward while she drove cross-country looking for any clue as to how to find him. But it wasn’t until she slipped into this soft bed, in this cozy, safe home Edward was trying to make that those dreams got worse.
Every night, it was the same thing. The security team would burst through the door. Bullets would fly. Charlie was the first to die, bullets tearing her chest apart. Anna would fall, then Vetler. And no matter how many times she shot them. No matter how many of them she killed. They just kept coming. They would drag Edward away. They would take Vincent from her. They took Reese and she was left alone in this big, empty house with the dead bodies of the people she couldn’t protect cooling around her.
Ellie took his hand. She laced her fingers between his slowly. Her body still shook. Vincent didn’t have to sleep. Nights like these, she envied him that. He just lay next to her watching her fitful sleeping. Whispering to her that it was going to be alright. Ellie sniffed and rolled her head up to lay her trembling lips against his in a soft brush of silken skin.
“Same dream.”
Vincent didn’t sleep to avoid his own nightmares. Ellie thought about all the things he’d endured over the years. In some way, it made her feel better. If Vincent could handle the horrifying things done to him, she could deal. Ellie could handle her demons because they were nothing compared to his.
Ellie sat up, tucking her stringy hair back behind her ears. She stared down at his smooth, hairless chest. Ellie ran her fingertips over the long thin scar that ran between his breasts. Vincent watched her, his lips open. His lovely eyes full of hunger. She loved Vincent’s eyes. A dark ring of gray ringed his iris. They thundered and crashed like storm clouds, a thousand shades of swirling gray with little flecks of blue. Surrounded by a thick fan of black lashes, those patches of blue glowed. Once she got over the fear of his beast Ellie began to love that look in his eyes.
“God, you are so beautiful,” Ellie said biting down on her bottom lip.
His monster may want her blood, to chew on her bones. But she knew Vincent wanted her body that much. Every time she touched him, desire sprang up. It didn’t matter if she was covered in dirt and grime. It didn’t matter if her hair was sticking up wild. Vincent always wanted her. It wasn’t just about sex. Vincent loved her. He loved her deeper than she thought was possible. He would do anything for her, suffer any torture, give anything for her. He never let her forget it.
Ellie gave him a smile that made his heart beat just a little faster. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“Oh?” he asked pushing up. Vincent rested on his elbows.
“I love you, Vincent. I love it, your monster.”
Vincent swallowed. A wild swath of black hair fell into his face. It was beginning to grow back out. Ellie smoothed it back out of his swirling gray eyes. She stared into his sorrowful expression a frown pulling at his sensual lips. His brow wrinkled at the look she gave him.
“Are you ever going to tell me? All of it, what they did to you?” They had been having this argument since Susan Bennet handed Ellie the hard-drive with her research notes on it. Vincent asked her not to read it. It was the only thing he’d asked of her.
“No,” was all he said. His head shaking minutely, Vincent laid a gentle kiss on her knuckle.
“Why not?” Ellie pushed.
“I don’t want you to pity me, El.” He grabbed her chin with all his gentleness. Vincent guided her into a kiss.
Ellie opened her mouth to tell him she didn’t, but he stopped her with the look he gave her. She frowned, blowing out a breath in defeat. Ellie hung her head to one side. Vincent gave her a small pull of his lips. Ellie switched on the lamp. Vincent didn’t need light to see. Ellie did.
“You already do, El,” Vincent brushed at her bangs. “Stella Hanes was out to make me a killing machine and she used Susan to do it. Though, in all honesty, neither of them had to shove too hard. The more they pushed the more I tried to cage it.”
“I just want you to come to grips with it. He’s a part of you. I want you to accept it. Own it.” Ellie laid her hand on his warm chest. “I want you to want to live with me.”
Ellie’s eyes stung with welling tears. The expression that broke over her lovely face made Vincent’s heartache. He spent years trying to figure out how to end his sorry existence. He wanted to kill the beast and himself along with it. Nothing worked. He could stop his heart, then minutes, days, sometimes weeks later, he would come back. Immortality isn’t the miracle so many people think it is. No end means no peace. When chaos is all you c
an breathe, peace starts to look pretty damned golden.
“I want you to want to live for something other than me, Vincent.”
Vincent shifted his weight sitting up to look into her eyes. He touched the side of her face. Reaching out with his other hand, he slid it around her waist. His fingertips slipping under the hem of the thin top she wore. Vincent pulled her into his lap. He loved the way her body felt pressed against his. The one good thing about being here was being able to touch her without fear. He could hunt. Feed the beast whenever he felt even the slightest stirring. It didn’t taste half as good as humans, but it was a small price to pay to be able to kiss her.
“Living for you isn’t such a bad thing, you know.” Vincent's lips were so close to her ear she could feel them move. Ellie couldn’t hold back on the smile. The knowledge of it made her feel so loved. She couldn’t fathom the depths of what he felt for her. And oh did she need that.
“I’m not going to be around forever, Vincent. Even if you protect me from everything else, you can’t fight time.”
Vincent gave her a smile that she recognized as one of her own. He puffed up his chest and stared down at her with a bravado that made her laugh. “Watch me.”
Through her laughter, she asked, “Is that what I sound like?” Vincent nodded. Ellie ran her hand down his naked bicep.
Vincent’s playful expression melted into something much more serious. “El, I love you. I know I can’t protect you from everything, especially with your lack of fear. That doesn’t mean I’ll ever stop trying.”
Ellie flashed him a soft smile. “I just don’t want you to hide what you are because of me. I wish you could see what I see when I look at you.” She touched her fingertips to his lips. “I want you to learn to work with it, not just control it.”
Vincent looked down at the tangle of sheets. Taking a deep breath of her, cherries and cinnamon, he didn’t feel the stab of hunger. It was there, just not so sharp he couldn’t think. Vincent rolled his eyes back up to her. He heaved a heavy sigh and the hand at her waist slid down to rest on her ass.
“I’m a monster, Ellie. I hate it. But, I can’t tell you no either.”
Ellie leaned into him with a lingering kiss. When she pulled back, a smile drew across her mouth that took his breath away. She licked her lips. “I think we should try it again.”
Vincent gave her a look that bordered on annoyed. “What, isn’t sex with just me fun anymore?”
Ellie pulled back a few inches and leaned awkwardly across them. She grabbed her switchblade from the drawer of the little table that sat next to the bed. “You are amazing. But I want all of you.” She hit the button and the blade shot out. “I don’t want you to hold back.”
The look in his eyes was one of conflict. She sat there willing give her blood freely. The one thing he craved. Still, he was afraid of what that made him. Vincent swallowed. The muscles in his jaw bunched. He let his fingertips drag through her long, silken hair.
“If I don’t hold back I’ll eat you.”
A sinful smile bloomed on her lips. “That wouldn’t be so bad,” she joked.
“El! I’m serious. You don’t get what you do to me.”
“How many times,” Ellie said dragging the tip of the blade down the outside of her wrist carefully. She made a face as the skin opened. “Do I have to tell you? I trust you.” She held her bleeding wrist out to him.
Vincent swallowed hard, licking his lips. He watched as the blood made a red line down her milky skin. Vincent grabbed her arm and pulled it to his lips. He licked the drop from her elbow. His tongue dancing wetly over the path it made down her arm. Vincent’s eyes fluttered closed. He laid open-mouthed kisses over her skin until his mouth closed over the cut. His eyes opened. A shimmering darkness swallowed them whole.
Ellie smiled, staring down at him. There was a time when Vincent’s monster swimming so close to the surface brought with it mind-numbing fear. Now, it made her heartbeat dance for an entirely different reason. Now it brought need thrumming through her. She dropped the knife to the table and ran her hand through his wild black hair. Vincent snaked his arm around her waist pulling her in closer. His hand slipped beneath the shirt she wore, fingertips trailing up her spine.
The sublime taste of her made his every hair stand at attention. Saccharin sweet coated his tongue. Her blood scorched his throat. His body reacted to her. His monster answered her call. It slithered around in his mind, luxuriating in the taste of her. Something was different. Vincent kept the beast fed, deer, bear, mountain cat, enough meat to keep it gorged. The beast craved fear. It fed off flesh and blood. It didn’t distinguish between species. Fed, the beast was content. Yes, it wanted more, but it didn’t need it. Fed, Vincent kept it from tearing into her with ease.
Vincent rolled his tongue over the cut one last time. Breathing heavily he ran his tongue over his teeth, savoring the last of it. He didn’t force the beast down. Vincent hooked his fingers around the back of her neck. His beast wanted this just as much as he did. Vincent kissed her deeply. His kisses spilling down her chin, her throat. He laid a gentle kiss between her breasts. The blood around his mouth left a stain. Vincent lifted the hem of her shirt pulling it over her head. Ellie stared into those alien eyes with wonder. He was gentle. Even with his beast so close to the surface, it wasn’t forced. Vincent was in complete control. Ellie smiled.
Vincent wrapped his arms around her back. Ellie lay back against them. Let them support her. His lips brushed against the skin of her shoulder. His tongue danced over the ridge of her collarbone. Ellie’s breath fell out of her in a pleasant sigh. She ran one hand through his hair. The other slid over his shoulder. Brushing his neck as it traced down, roving his back.
Ellie shined like a star in the night sky, bright and blinding. Rainbow strobes exploded inside her. Vincent listened rapt to the symphony of her body. The sound of each breath she took. Ellie smiled at him. It was exquisite. She was so soft, so fragile, so very delicate. And that is what the Beast craved. Vincent could spend the rest of his life locked in this moment.
The Monster in him wasn't so patient. An urge to slide inside of her ran through him. Vincent kissed his way down the center of her chest. He lay her down against the bed. Vincent stared down at her, his fingertips slipping between her skin and the top of her panties. He pulled them down slowly and let them drop to the bed. Ellie watched him as he explored her naked body.
He ran his fingertips down the length of her thigh. Ellie luxuriated in the feel of it. His gentle touch brought a soft moan to her lips. His wild bangs fell in a wedge that hid one of those bizarre eyes from her. He traced the edge of his fingernail between her breasts, over her stomach. His nail was hard and sharp. The sensation of it was fascinating to her. She swore she could see the darkness swimming just below his flesh.
He drew his nail down over the bone of her hip, over the top of her thigh. All the while, he stared into her eyes. Amazed. Not once did she show him fear. Ellie hooked her fingertips behind his neck. She smiled up at him with dreamy eyes. Her lips were red. They shimmered in the soft light from the bedside lamp.
Ellie wondered what it would feel like if it were his claw. Could he be gentle enough not to split the skin? She slipped her hand up over his smooth cheek, rolled her thumb over his lips. She looked up into those black eyes. He kissed her thumb as it passed over them.
Vincent flashed her an easy smile. Shifting his weight, he climbed over her. Ellie watched his face as he pressed himself against her. Ellie wrapped her legs around his hips. She touched his chest.
On his knees, he reached up with both hands and smoothed his hair back. Vincent blinked and the black of his eyes leached away, leaving them pale gray. He came down over her in a push-up. No matter how many times she brushed against him. How many times she ran her hands over his body. With him this close, breathing heavily, his eyes hungry, her body trembled. She couldn’t catch her breath.
Vincent’s eyes danced over her face. He licked his lips. �
��Do you love me, Ellie?”
“Every part of you,” she answered with a smile.
“Even if I told you, that as much as I love you. As much as I live for you, even today, right now. Part of me still wants to kill you!” he whispered. “It still wants to tear your throat out, even with it under my boot. Because that's who I am. What I am. I am a killer, Ellie.”
Ellie exhaled through her nose and bit her bottom lip, her annoyance building. “Yes. I still love you, Vincent. I still love it. That will never change, Vincent. I said I love you. I’ll never stop.” She shook her head. “I accept it. I know what it wants. I know what it can do, and I don't care.”
Vincent brushed a strand of her hair back, smoothing it behind her ear. He stared down at her, trying not to smile. He was trying to make a point, and of course, she was making it harder than it should be.
“Nothing you tell me is ever going to scare me away.”
Vincent gave her that devilish grin of his. “See what you call scared. I call respect. You know, good sense,” he said, raising an eyebrow.
“When have you ever known me to have good sense?” Ellie asked with a smile he could not deny. She leaned forward coming up on her elbows. Ellie kissed him, ran her tongue over the soft silk of his lips.
“Good point,” he said chuckling.
“So will you stop trying already?”
“Probably not,” he told her in all honesty.
Ellie sighed and reached up to touch his face “I know that no matter what the dark thoughts running through that thick head of yours are,” she said poking at his temple. “You'll never hurt me.”
“You're that sure?” Vincent asked. She plastered her lips together in a thin line and nodded her head. Vincent made a sound in his throat, something between a moan and a chuckle. He leaned in, touching his forehead to hers. “I thought I was done. Now that I have you, I'm just beginning.” Vincent lay a gentle kiss between her eyes. “You don't think I want to live.” He sighed. “Ellie, you are so wrong. I want nothing more than to live a real life with you.” Vincent came up on his knees once more and grabbed her hand in both of his. He pulled it up, touching it to his heart.
Shed some Light Page 3
