“She won't see it that way.” Charlie picked up the pieces of her kit and packed them back inside the tackle box.
Edward took in a breath, looking down at the floor. He had a feeling that Charlie was right. That’s why he was writing that journal. The ticking of Anna's cane echoed in the silence. She came walking into the kitchen, counting her steps. They watched her for a moment. Charlie put away her kit. Anna stepped past Edward, reaching clumsily out to touch the counter.
“Charlie?” Anna asked the room.
“Yeah, honey, I'm right here,” Charlie said, taking a step closer to her. She laid her hand on Anna's shoulder gently.
“Could you help me with something?” Anna asked.
“Of course,” Charlie said.
Anna could feel that heat. She was sure it was Edward. He was the only one that smelled like pine trees. She did her best to ignore him. She just didn't know what else to do. Anna was used to the men she cared about pulling away from her. But every other time she had let herself feel something for another human being they pulled away because she was too independent. Too cold. It was the exact opposite when it came to Edward. She was completely at his mercy. She depended on him for everything and he was pulling away just like everyone else.
It was too much for her to handle. Anna had lost everything. She had no real friends. She missed John terribly. She missed going to work every day. She missed being able to see. Anna mourned all of it. The only thing that gave her even a hint of a reprieve from that grief was being with Edward. Now he was slipping away too. She kept telling herself that she was used to that pain at least. But it didn't quiet the loss any more. Sometimes Anna wanted to walk out into the frozen air and scream.
Anna could almost hear him moving. Her mouth dropped open to say something to him. But what was the point? Nothing she said would make him want her. At least she had Birdie. He was the perfect man. Followed her around wherever she went. He listened to her, talked to her when she needed it. He was her tether. That dog kept her grounded in the sea of nothingness that swirled and howled around her.
Edward got up from the wooden stool and smiled down at them. He jerked his head toward the hall. Charlie nodded. He walked away, stopping at the doorway. Edward stole one last glance at Anna over his shoulder. Charlie swallowed the desire to scream at him. Anyone could tell how he felt about Anna. Edward only had so much time left. Charlie always believed a little bit of love lasted forever. She would never know why he was holding back?
Edward tromped up the stairs, headed for the shower. He noticed Vincent standing there, his bedroom door wide open. Vincent watched out the window in his ripped up blue jeans. Edward's grumbling managed to get him to wear a shirt occasionally. Though, Vincent always wore the linen button-down shirts open.
Curious, Edward walked in. He didn't bother knocking. Vincent heard him. Vincent heard everything within a ten-block radius. The trick was tuning most of it out so it didn’t drive him even crazier tha he already was. Edward came up behind him, staring down into the yard. He watched as Ellie and Reese rolled around on the ground. Reese slammed her head back against the snow coming up on top. Edward's face contorted with a flash of rage.
“He's going to hurt her!” he cried. Edward turned toward the door. Vincent grabbed his arm and shook his head no.
“He won't.” The look in Vincent’s eyes worried Edward. They were dark and roiling. Vincent swallowed, looking back down on them. “Reese is teaching her what she needs to know,” Vincent said. “What you need her to know.”
Edward eyed him for a long moment. The silence rushed in on them. Working to swallow his anger, Edward’s eyes roved over the bedroom. It didn't look lived in. A bed, two nightstands, there was nothing that personalized it. Then again, Ellie's room was the same. Both of them cleaned up completely after themselves. He’d asked Ellie why she did it. She told him simply, habit. What habit made you need to pour bleach into a shower when you were done? Edward exhaled and came back to the window. Vincent let him go dropping his hand to his side. Edward sighed shaking his head.
“How did she survive this long?” Edward asked.
Vincent looked at him. Edward couldn't get over how sad the kid looked, how angry. Heavy eyebrows hung over those dark eyes that swirled. His wild black hair shimmered and shined. It had grown longer since they pulled Edward out of the hospital. Now it was long enough to hang over his ears. Vincent’s eyes had too many emotions swimming in them for his face to be that calm.
The moment he mentioned Ellie though, Vincent brightened. Those eyes danced, and he smiled. “She’s strong. El is a force of nature,” Vincent answered. Vincent reached forward, holding open the blinds with his thumb and forefinger. He was so still. It was difficult to catch him taking a breath. Vincent got like that sometimes, Edward noticed, especially around him. Vincent tried hard to seem non-threatening.
Edward took in a deep breath. Genuinely curious, he asked, “Was it hard? I mean, did it take time to get her to understand what she was up against?”
Edward had tried asking her and got nothing. He was hoping Vincent would be more forthcoming with information about their months together while he was locked away. Edward wiped at his nose as he watched Vincent watching her. Vincent's head dropped to the side slightly and his eyes glazed over a little with the memories of the times when it was just them, well, them and Reese's ghost.
Vincent shook his head. “She always knew what she was up against. El asked us to teach her how to use the gun on the second night. Reese kept telling her he would protect her.” A smile broke over Vincent’s face that Edward had never seen before. “El told him she didn't need him to protect her. She could do it herself.” He chuckled. “She is damned stubborn,” Vincent said. “Ellie didn’t give a damn what we would face.” Vincent half turned and looked at him. “You were all she ever cared about. No matter how many times I warned her of what they would do to her if they caught her,” he said. “No matter how many times I told her you would be the one to kill her.” Those words made Edward's mouth drop open. So many emotions rushed in on him. Edward didn't know what to say.
That accusation stunned him. Edward supposed he didn't deserve to be angry. Edward was sure Vincent would be the death of her. It dawned on Edward for the first time that he was just as much a monster. He remembered that first night. Vincent would not let him get near Ellie. Vincent warned him then that his hunger would get the best of him.
Edward swallowed hard. To know that she loved him enough to give up everything warmed him a little. At the same time, it tore at him. Edward sat down on the edge of the bed. He wondered if Vincent had ever even slept in it. Edward watched Vincent stare out the window for a long time. Then he let go of the blinds and turned to Edward. Vincent licked his lips. The muscles in his jaw bunched. He ran his tongue over his teeth, his lips tensing.
“I'm sorry,” Vincent said it fast like he was ripping off a Band-Aid.
Edward looked at him. “For what?”
“I should never have underestimated her,” Vincent said. “It was my fear of that place that kept us away for so long.” Vincent slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “If we had gone earlier. If I had taken her there when she first wanted me to. They wouldn't have infected you.”
That apology was like a steel knife in Edward's throat. It made it hard to breathe. It brought on so much pain. Made Edward so angry and at the same time so damned sad. Edward didn't want to die. He didn't want to lose everything he’d known. And boy did he blame Vincent for it. He hated Vincent for it. Edward breathed in deep trying to get his hands around the neck of the monster that lived inside him now.
He felt an urge so strong to rush the kid. He wanted to slam him up against the wall, beat his fists against him. He wanted to rip his flesh, crush his bones into paste. That fire was blistering. Edward let the sorrowful look in Vincent’s eyes wash over him and wondered what would be the point. It would lose him Ellie. And Edward needed her now more than ever. It was over
. There was no going back now.
Edward nodded his head. “If wishes were horses, we'd all ride,” he told the kid. The cruel look in Edward’s eyes softened. “Promise me something,” Edward breathed. “Promise me you'll always take care of her.”
He couldn't even look Vincent in the eye when he said it. Edward couldn't let Ellie slip away. They could never go back to the way it was. But Edward had to know she would be taken care of. That she would have someone to love her. She needed someone to keep her safe. Edward was all but a ghost. He had to be sure that everything was in place. Anna wasn't the only one who lost everything. Ellie may have given it up willingly, but that didn’t make it any less tragic.
Vincent narrowed his eyes, wondering where that had come from. Edward hated him. Edward hated that they were lovers. He dealt because he had to, not because he accepted it. Vincent nodded. “I will never stop loving her,” Vincent told him.
Edward smiled. He smiled because he knew Vincent spoke the truth. Edward nodded and stood up. “Good.” He heard the front door open and the rest of them come tromping inside. Edward plastered his lips together. He crossed the distance between them and put his hand on Vincent's shoulder.
“Take care of her, kid.” Edward turned and walked out.
Vincent waited a beat. His face scrunched in confusion. Vincent followed him down the stairs. Vetler stood in front of the kitchen island talking to Charlie. Smiling at her like a love struck five-year-old. Vincent would never understand how Charlie didn't see it. Vincent liked the idea of Charlie finding someone, someone that would treat her right. Over the couple weeks they had been here, Vincent had come to like Shane Vetler. He was a decent guy. Vincent didn't take his fear personally. It was warranted, after all. Everything Shane worried they would do. They could. Vincent frowned at Ellie. The bruise was spreading out beneath her eyes already.
Reese flashed a grin at him. “Your half-pint broke my rib.”
“Good,” was his reply. Vincent smiled.
“We're going to make bombs,” Ellie announced happily. Edward rolled his eyes, giving his head a shake.
“That is just not something you should be that happy about,” he said, walking over to her. Edward grabbed her chin gently. He looked at her face. “You okay?” His voice vibrated with concern.
“I'll be sore for a day or so, but I'm good.” Ellie gave him a wicked smile. “Didn't you hear, I broke his rib,” she said. “I feel like I leveled up!”
Edward looked at Reese. “Good.”
Reese read the angry glare in his eye. He recognized it because it was familiar. Reese had that same look in his eyes many a time in the year or so after they were infected. Hell, he had that look in his eyes the night Vincent killed him. It made him breathe deep. It made his eyes slide over to Ellie protectively. She was smiling up at Edward the way Vince used to smile at him. Full of love. Reese missed that. It was his own damn fault Vince didn't have that love for him no more and that made him more than just a little sad.
Edward frowned at her. “Do you have to wear the shoulder rig at the table?”
“I like having them close,” Ellie told him.
Shane watched Ellie reach back and touch the grip of the Heckler she kept at the small of her back, caressing it. Yup. She definitely had cracks in her foundation. PTSD. The kid was drowning. Charlie strained to reach a pan tucked away on a high shelf. Shane came up behind her laying his hand on her rounded shoulder. Taking in a deep whiff of her hair, he pulled it down.
Charlie smiled shyly. She liked the way it felt to have his body pressed against her. She met Vincent's eyes and he smirked at her. He gave her raised eyebrows and a tilt of his head. She knew that look well. That was Vincent's I-told-you-so look. It made her chuckle. Shane pulled back and she turned toward him. They were still so close. Shane gave her that pretty smile of his holding out the pan to her.
“Thank you,” Charlie said smoothing a swath of her brown hair back behind her ear.
“Anytime.”
Edward walked away from Ellie sitting down at the end of the table. Vincent came up behind her. Pulling her into his arms, he brushed his lips against the side of her cheek. “Next time he pulls that stunt. Feel free to shoot him,” Vincent said, his eyes all for Reese. Ellie laughed.
“I'm good, really,” she said. Turning in and standing on her tiptoes. Her body pressed against Vincent. She laid her mouth against his. A wet lingering kiss Reese couldn't bear to watch. “Are you guys going to play with us?” Ellie asked. Edward shrugged. “It's more fun than you think,” she assured him.
Chapter 9
Vetler began his class. Ellie was the perfect student. Quiet, she only made a joke half the times she could have. The table was covered in two-inch thick threaded pipes, black powder, distilled water, bleach, fertilizer, boxes of nails, and screws. Ellie was impressed. Compared to her little science project this was a full-blown operation. She swept her hair back giving it a twist and clipped it to her head. It was no use. Long strings of her bangs fell out onto her forehead immediately.
Shane smiled. “All the workings of a homegrown terrorist plot,” he joked.
“And it's on my table,” Charlie grumbled from the kitchen.
Ellie laughed at the look on Vetler's face. Charlie had a way of putting that man in his place with a bat of her eyes. Ellie carefully screwed the metal cap with its fuse sticking out of it on. She sat it down on the table next to the six others just like it. Shane liked her idea of using the thermate to make pipe bombs with. But didn't think that the pipes were safe enough, and they would need a magnesium fuse. So they put a pin in the idea until they could refine their tools.
For now, the pipe bombs and C4 would have to hold them over. They kept the thermate in the shed. Ellie didn't like it, but it was safer for day to day living. And she didn't have to worry about a pissed off, vengeful Reese popping up out of nowhere to try and kill her anymore. At least, she was rather sure of it. Vetler's instruction showed her just what she was doing wrong with the remote detonators. It only took her about a half hour to figure it out. Edward was still having difficulties. No matter how many times they showed it to him, he just didn't get it.
Vincent played with the remotes. Ellie had shown him a few things when they were squatting in the vacation property after Reese had attacked for the last time. Reese sat next to Ellie watching intently. He refused to touch anything on the table. His eyes were just a touch wide. Vincent kept looking up at him, wondering whether or not he would bolt. Reese hadn't done well with fire before he roasted to death. Ellie noticed Vincent stealing glances at his big brother. It made her curious, made her look up at Reese.
“What's the matter? Is the big bad wolf scared of explosives,” Ellie joked. When he didn't laugh Ellie looked up at him again. There was real fear in his eyes. Ellie stared at him for a moment. “You are, aren't you? You're scared of this stuff.”
Reese met her gaze. “I burned to death,” he told her. “That is as close to fire as I ever want to get again.”
A look of pity crossed her face. Without thinking, Ellie put her arm around his shoulder pulling him into her for a hug. Reese didn't fight it. He let her pull him in close. Her breath on his skin sent goose bumps rushing over him. Ellie touched her forehead to his. It was something she did with Reese, her Reese, and Vincent a thousand times. Reese slid his arms around her and hugged her tight. “You're going to be alright,” Ellie whispered.
Vincent watched them with glaring eyes. Jealousy and fear churned in his gut. Without looking, he snatched a wire from the pile. Vincent paid particular attention to the remote’s inner workings. Ellie pulled back and looked at Reese for a long moment. “I'm sorry that happened to you, Reese,” she breathed. “I'm sorry either of you had to go through that,” Ellie said a little louder. Her eyes slid to Vincent.
Reese sighed. He looked at Vincent too. Reese couldn't find that anger he’d woken up with. Vincent paid for what he’d done a thousand times over.
“I can show y
ou how to work it. If I know how it works, I’m less afraid,” Ellie said.
“Since when are you afraid of anything?” Edward scoffed at her.
Reese plastered a smile on his face. “I'll stick to tooth and claw,” he said pulling away. He stood up, walking into the living room. Reese grabbed one of the hundreds of paperbacks on the shelves that flanked the fireplace. Flopping down on the couch he opened the book. Ellie watched him for a moment. She smiled at Vincent. “Hey, pretty,” she said getting his attention. “Can you hand me that pipe?” Ellie pointed to the threaded pipes on his side of the table. Vincent forced a smile. Tilting his head down and to the side, he picked it up, holding it out to her. Ellie blew him a kiss across the table. That soothed his jealousy a little.
Charlie walked to the edge of the dining room. She refused to go any further in. “Dinner will be done in ten minutes. That table had better be immaculate,” she said turning back to the kitchen to tend her boiling pots, grumbling to herself about bombs not belonging at the dinner table.
Ellie grabbed an empty cardboard box. She started laying the bricks of C4 and the pipe bombs inside it. Edward and Vincent helped her carry the boxes out to the shed. While they did that, Shane cleaned the table. By the time they came back inside, Shane and Reese were helping Charlie set the table.
Ellie kicked her shoes off and sat down. Vincent followed her in, sitting down on her right. She leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek before she laid her head on his shoulder. Vincent took her hand beneath the table, lacing his fingers between hers. Reese sat down on her left. Ellie smiled. She loved sitting between the two of them. It calmed her. Made it just a little easier to pretend she wasn’t going insane staying here. Pulling her plate toward her, Ellie slid her foot around, tickling Vincent with her toes. It finally drew a real smile from him.
“So, did my brother give you that shiner?” Vincent asked taking a bite of green beans. Watching him talk brought a smile to Ellie’s face. She swore his eyebrows moved with every syllable he spoke. No matter how hard he worked to be still around the humans his face was so expressive. His eyes, his lips were always moving.
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