by Amy Gamet
Rafael leaned back in his chair. “You were in a long-term relationship. I wouldn’t have expected you to sleep with a lot of people.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I mean, yes. I only slept with Greg.” She swallowed. “But he was also the only man to kiss me, or hold me, or…do anything.”
“Oh,” said Rafael, his eyes betraying his surprise.
“Yeah.” She rubbed her hands together under the table. “Now I feel stupid. I don’t know why I told you that.”
He was quiet, the air between them seeming to hum with tension, and she wished she could take back her confession. Now that it was out there, there didn’t seem to be any reason to have said it.
“Then we’ll take things one step at a time. But I can’t change my reaction to you, Melanie.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want you to.”
“And I can’t stop kissing you.”
“I don’t want you to do that, either.”
He stared at her mouth, then took a swig of his wine. “Eat. Before I change my mind and take all the steps at once.”
Melanie picked up a tortilla chip and dragged it through the cheese sauce with a shaking hand. She was aware of his eyes on her as she brought it to her mouth. “You are definitely making me uncomfortable now,” she said.
Rafael raised his glass. “To enjoying the journey.”
She clinked her glass on his. “And looking forward to the destination.”
Chapter 8
Melanie opened the door to her house, a small smile on her lips. Rafael had dropped her off after the most beautiful day spent together on his deck, the food and the wine pleasantly interrupted by kisses that awakened her senses and stirred her desire.
This was really happening.
She was dating Rafael, and she could imagine they had a future together. She did a little hop as she walked down the hallway.
Peering into the living room, she saw her mother asleep in front of the television. It was late, and though Melanie had texted Loretta to make sure she could stay, she felt rather guilty for imposing on the other woman. She walked into the kitchen. Loretta sat at the table reading a book with a half-naked couple tangled together on the cover.
“Hey, sorry I’m so late.”
Loretta looked up. “That’s okay. I didn’t have any plans tonight anyway. Did you have a good time?”
“I did. Thanks for staying. Mom okay?”
“Cranky before supper. I think her new meds might be causing it.”
“I was thinking that, too.”
Loretta laid her book face-down on the table. “You got a minute, sweetheart?”
Melanie furrowed her brow, not liking the other woman’s tone. She sat down. “What’s up?”
“You know about my dreams.”
Melanie nodded, suddenly wary of where this might be going. She liked Loretta, but several times now, Loretta had told Melanie or her mother about her dreams and how they predicted the future. In Melanie’s opinion, it was a way for a nosey old woman to give her unsolicited opinion of someone’s life, all wrapped up in a premonition and painted with a brush of magical whimsy.
But her mother believed every word out of Loretta’s mouth.
Loretta took Melanie’s hand. “Last night, I dreamed Greg was back in town.”
Melanie pulled her hand back. “Loretta…”
“He had a duffle bag full of letters and packages. All for you, every last one.”
Impossible.
Melanie shook her head, even as her mind replayed the image of Greg’s look-alike driving right past her on the street. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, Loretta, but I really don’t want to hear about any dreams you have about the people in my life. I have enough trouble keeping up with reality. I don’t need possibility thrown into the mix.”
“It is reality.”
“The other day you told me the sky was going to be full of rainbows! What’s next, unicorns?”
Loretta stood up and dog-eared her page, then grabbed her purse. “Melanie, what did you pick up from your porch the other day?”
Melanie frowned. “That had nothing to do with Greg.”
Loretta stared at her.
“Nothing. To do. With Greg,” Melanie repeated.
“Your mother thinks differently.”
“You have no right to tell her things like this. She believes you, Loretta. It’s confusing for her.”
“Maybe you should let yourself be a little more confused.”
Melanie ran a hand through her hair. “What does that mean?”
“You need to consider all possibilities.”
There was no point in discussing this with Loretta. Melanie cursed herself for not knowing better. “Thanks again for staying late.”
Loretta nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Melanie moved to the living room window and watched Loretta go.
Someone had been on that porch, leaving her presents, and as sure as she had been it was Rafael, her conversation with Loretta had created the tiniest fissure for doubt to come in, like water into a sinking ship.
What if it really was Greg?
But Rafael said it was him! Didn’t he?
It was you, she’d said.
Do you like it?
“Oh, no,” she whispered to the dark room. She’d taken his response as confirmation, but he never actually said it was him.
Melanie had to talk to him, now.
She wrote a note for her mother, then checked to be sure her mom’s cell phone was within her reach before she headed back to Rafael’s house.
Her mind was frantically working, a noxious mix of emotions that had her completely confused. It was late, almost ten, but she had to talk to Rafael now, in person, before she completely lost her mind.
She made her way down the twisting road, hands clenched at ten and two, the sound of gravel loud beneath her tires. What if he wasn’t home?
Oh, man. What if he isn’t alone?
She shook her head. “He better be alone. I just left here an hour ago.”
Pulling into his driveway, she saw a light on in the window and her heart picked up speed. She licked her lips and got out of the car, then walked to the door, wrapping her arms around herself in the cold night air.
She knocked on the wooden door and Lobo immediately started barking, the heavy sound of footsteps coming her way.
The light above her head came on and she squinted against it.
“Melanie.”
“Can I come in?”
He stepped back for her to enter, and Lobo jumped happily at her arrival.
“Hey, baby, how are you?” she asked, getting down low and petting him. When the dog left she stood, seeing the TV was on and there was a fire in the fireplace, then Lobo circled twice and settled down in front of it. The scene was at once homey and wonderful, and Melanie swallowed hard as she turned around to face Rafael.
“Would you like something to drink?” he asked.
“No.” She shook her head. “I just came by to ask you a question. Did you leave presents on my doorstep?”
“You know I did.”
“Tell me exactly what you left me.”
He furrowed his brow. “What’s this about?”
“Please, just tell me.”
“The earrings from the treasure hunt in the hunt for Tori’s Treasures. The vine bracelet, and a moon necklace.”
Melanie exhaled and closed her eyes.
Rafael moved toward her. “You’re upset. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Someone told me Greg was leaving them, not you.”
His eyes darkened. “No.”
“I thought it was you, but when I remembered our conversation, you never actually said it was. I’m sorry I got so upset. Man, that threw me for a loop.” She held her fingers to her forehead.
Rafael went to the refrigerator and opened a beer. “What if the gifts were from Greg?”
“You just said they
were from you.”
“Would it change what’s between you and me if he came back to town, and wanted to be back in your life?”
“That’s not fair to ask me that.”
He raised his eyebrows. “How is that not fair? I want to know where I stand with you in relation to your ex-boyfriend. I think that’s more than fair. I think I’m being downright agreeable.”
She crossed her arms.
He tilted her chin up. “Do you only want me if he isn’t here?”
“I like you,” she whispered. “Why do we have to classify everything and put our feelings in order from greatest to smallest?”
“Because I don’t want to be your second choice, Melanie. I don’t want to hear his name and wonder what he means to you, or spend my time hoping he never comes back to town.”
She reached up and put one hand on either side of his face, the stubble on his cheeks biting into her skin. “I don’t know, Rafael. I just don’t know.” She kissed him lightly on the lips, willing him to respond to her kisses. “Let’s enjoy what we have today, and not make promises we may not be able to keep tomorrow.”
“I can keep my promises.” His stare was intense, and her eyes were locked with his. He pressed himself against her, pinning her to the counter. “But you can’t keep yours, can you?”
Everything inside Melanie was at odds with everything else. As much as she wanted Rafael, enjoyed his company, looked forward to what a relationship with him might bring, she couldn’t comprehend doing what he was asking of her, letting go of her very real feelings for Greg.
Rafael took a step back.
“Please…” she said, reaching for him.
“You’re the one who is doing it, Melanie.”
She shook her head. “I want you. I do. I care about you…”
He leaned forward and kissed her mouth fully, and she was taken aback by the emotions that filled her. She reached up to hold him, but he lifted his head out of her reach. “I think you should go,” he said.
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you? I don’t want to be second best. I could never share you with another man, in reality or in your mind. Don’t ask me to do it.”
She was trembling, unable to walk out the door nor claim to be free of her past. All she knew was that she wanted him, right here, today. And that want simply had to be enough. “Let me stay with you,” she whispered.
His chin jerked upward and she heard the intake of his breath.
She took a step closer, her eyes beseeching him. “I want to be with you, Rafael. Please let me stay tonight.”
His dark eyes bored into hers as he shook his head. “No.”
She took in his stance, rigid and tense. He might say he didn’t want her to stay, but she could feel the sexual need coming off him in waves, and it made her bold. She gently rested her palms on his chest. “Don’t you want me, too?”
He pushed her hands away. “Stop it.”
She recoiled, hot tears burning the back of her eyes. She couldn’t look at him, and her eyes wandered back over the room, the fire, Lobo curled up in a ball. A cozy scene she wanted to be a part of, even as she watched it slip away.
She met his eyes, saw the coldness there.
Without another word, she turned and walked out the door.
* * *
Rafael threw coffee in the filter basket and slammed the lid of the machine shut. His eyes caught the pleading look on Lobo’s face.
“What?” he snapped at the dog. “It’s not my fault she went away.”
The dog laid down and rested his head on his paws.
Rafael turned on the coffee maker and rubbed his eyes. He hadn’t slept well after Melanie left, his body and his imagination cursing him for having let her go at all. But even in the dead of night he knew he’d made the right decision, the only possible thing he could have done, given the circumstances.
If he’d made love to her, it only would have made it that much worse every time he was reminded of her ex-boyfriend, knowing he was playing second fiddle to a man who wasn’t even here, for Pete’s sake.
At least if Greg came back, there’d be someone to fight for her attention. But a ghost? How could he compete with a ghost?
He cursed out loud and opened the newspaper, mindlessly flipping through pages and headlines.
His eye caught on a small headline on the bottom of the page.
DELACRUZ RELEASED FROM PRISON.
Rafael froze. He mentally counted…thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen.
Sixteen years since his father had gone to jail.
So much for a life sentence.
His eyes were glued to the article. Delacruz, who was convicted of killing a man in a bar-room brawl in New York City, had been on the run when he was first arrested here in Moon Lake. He was working as a fruit picker at Crescent Moon Vineyards at the time, where his son Rafael is employed today.
Rafael looked at the byline, not recognizing the name. Even a total stranger to him was aware of how he was related to Martin Delacruz.
The whole town read this paper.
Rafael knew his father would be released one day, but he never imagined his own humiliation would be so public.
Just when he was starting to get to know people in the community, finally feeling welcome in this town for the first time since he came here, his father’s criminal past was coming to light. He thought of Melanie. What would she think when she found out his father was a murderer?
* * *
From the minute Melanie’s alarm went off that morning, she’d been on edge, waiting to see what this day would bring. She dressed for work, Rafael’s refusal of her offer to spend the night with him ringing in her ears while she got ready.
At least it would be over soon enough. She’s see Rafael, they’d talk about what happened, and she could stop stressing about the upcoming confrontation with him.
Doris caught her as she checked in at the office. “Change in plans. Rafael wants Jimmy to work up top, and you to work in the tasting room today.”
“Oh.”
So much for stress relief.
“Did he say why?” she asked.
“Not to me.”
The morning was busy, the sunshine and unseasonably warm temperatures bringing record crowds to the tasting room.
In a way it was good, the work keeping her from constantly searching the fields for a glimpse of Rafael or his truck, or her mind from perseverating on whether or not he was deliberately avoiding her.
Which he was.
He must be.
She sighed as she poured several glasses of wine. She’d spent all of last night tossing and turning, thinking about Rafael and what she should do about her attraction to the man, and all she knew for sure was that she wanted a chance with him.
A chance he wasn’t willing to give her, so long as she harbored feelings for Greg.
Peter appeared between two parties at the bar. “Hand me a bottle of cabernet.”
“Good to see you, too, Peter.” She passed it to him with a sardonic smile. When he turned away, she said quietly, “Try not to drink it all in one sitting.”
“Melanie.”
She turned to see Rafael at the end of the bar, and her heart picked up speed as she moved to him. She smiled tentatively, but his face was unreadable.
“You guys are getting slammed,” he said. “Do you need me to send Annie down to help?”
“I don’t think so.” She turned to Doris. “Do we need Annie to help?”
“We can handle it,” said Doris. “Melanie moves a lot quicker than Jimmy.” She winked.
Rafael walked away without another glance in Melanie’s direction, and her heart sank.
Why was she even here, if Rafael didn’t want her around?
Because you still want to be around him.
Admit it.
She went back to pouring wine.
It doesn’t matter what I want, if he doesn’t want me.
The thoug
ht made her sad. But what could she do? Pretend she’d sorted through all of her feelings about Greg and somehow managed to rank her emotions in a way that made Rafael happy? Just because she wanted him physically more than she’d ever wanted anyone in her life didn’t mean she could have him.
More than she’d ever wanted anyone.
It was true, and she wondered if that would make a dent in Rafael’s armor, or if wouldn’t be good enough for him.
The hours flew by in a blur of wine and faces, glasses and dollar bills. Melanie helped Doris close up, then sat down in the dimly lit room to wait for Rafael.
She didn’t have to wait long.
He walked in the door and met her eyes, his feet stilled beneath him.
“Can I talk to you?” she asked.
He nodded. “Sure.” He moved to the table and set down across from her.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” she said. “I know you’re angry with me, and I don’t blame you…”
“I’m not angry, Melanie.”
“You seem angry. Why did you put me in the tasting room all day?”
He dropped his head and brought it up again. “I thought it would be easier for us both. I don’t know how to act around you now. What to say. What to do.”
She nodded. “What you said to me, about being second. I understand why you feel that way, but I want you to know, it’s not the whole truth.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe I haven’t completely moved on from the past.” She took a shaking breath. “But I never felt the way with Greg that I feel with you. I never wanted him to touch me like I want you to.” A flush spread from her chest up to her cheeks, and she fought her own embarrassment. “Or kiss me like I want you to. I never wanted him to make love to me as much as I want you to.”
“Do you mean that?”
She nodded. “I may be confused about a lot of things, but I’m not confused about my feelings for you.”
He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. “Me either.”
“I hope that’s enough for you, because it’s the best I can do.”
He kissed her hand. “It’s enough.”
* * *
He drove through the streets of town, Melanie by his side, and he clenched the steering wheel, his hands like a vise. This was it. She was coming home with him, and the knowledge made him feel both overwhelmingly powerful and dizzyingly weak.
