As assumed, her face crinkles as she eyes Viv and Claudia up and down before walking back to the register as though there’s a bad smell in the air.
“Wow,” Viv mutters as I approach. “You were not kidding. Girl does not like you.”
I give her a “you have no idea” look before pulling them both into a hug.
“Thank god you guys are here. If I had to take one more stare from that girl, I might have slapped her,” I say, exasperated.
“Why doesn’t she like you?” Claudia whispers, probably with fear that Anna might hear.
I shrug. “I honestly have no clue! She was perfectly nice to me my first week. Then one day we got to talking, and she just turned total bitch after that.”
Viv and Claudia seem as perplexed as I am.
“Damn her and that killer body,” Viv jokes as she eyes Anna. Unfortunately, Viv is right. Anna is—well, to put it simply, she’s stunning. She has straight dark-brown hair that ends just above her hips and the body of a supermodel. But she also looks just like the person you would want to bring home to meet your family. Too bad her personality doesn’t match the outside beauty.
As if on cue, she calls out to me, “Um, Eleanor, you might want to hurry it up. We have inventory to do.” Her obnoxious tone makes my blood boil, but I keep myself in check and flash her a fake smile that gets me an eye roll in return.
At this point, Viv’s jaw is on the floor, along with Claudia’s.
“Holy crapola, the old Eleanor would have told that girl to shove it where the sun don’t shine,” Viv says in disbelief.
I know she’s right, and I mentally pat myself on the back for not losing my cool.
“I’m trying something new where I don’t resort to violent threats,” I laugh.
“Well, in that case, we better get going. You know, before Umbridge over there pulls out her wand and kills us with a deadly curse,” Claudia says. Viv and I both stare at her, mouths agape, before completely losing it in a fit of laughter that earns us the death glare from the newly named Umbridge.
Dina’s is packed tonight as Claudia and I enter, both keeping an eye out for the boys. Practice ran late, so instead of them picking us up, we decided to just meet there.
As soon as she spots us, our favorite waitress, Dorothy, heads on over. Her frilly yellow-and-white uniform compliments her newly dyed hair, which looks to be some combination of yellow and orange. Even nearing her fifties, Dorothy has never been one for subtleties.
“Well, if it isn’t my two favorite gals,” she says, pulling each of us into a hug. “Just the two of you tonight?”
“Four, actually. We’re waiting on the guys.”
Dorothy grabs some menus and leads the way to a booth in a corner. After taking our drink order, she shuffles off to her other customers, leaving Claudia and me alone to chat.
We spend the next ten minutes discussing everything from our heavy workloads to her dance recital that just passed.
“So,” Claudia says after she takes a sip of her milk shake, “how are things going between you and Jess?”
At the mention of his name, my insides melt, and I know that is a sign. For most, that would be an amazing sign, a sign of love, but for me, it scares the hell out of me.
“I know that look,” Claudia says before I respond to her question. I quickly try to rid myself of any “look” because the last thing I want is to look like a lovesick teenager.
“What look?” I say, feigning ignorance. Suddenly my candy-striped milk shake straw is very interesting, and I direct my attention onto it.
“Love,” Claudia says dreamily.
Jesus, I’m friends with so many hopeless romantics.
Taking my silence as a denial, she continues. “Oh come on, Eleanor. You and Jess have been together nearly a month and best friends beforehand. I think you’ve been in love with each other for a lot longer than either of you want to admit.” She doesn’t say any more, just looks at me with a huge grin on her face.
“You know, Claudia, I think I liked you better when you were all shy and stuff,” I mumble into my milk shake.
She lets out a small giggle at my joking confession because we both know what I’m saying is untrue. The first few months I knew Claudia, she mainly kept to herself and Wren, but as time went on she became a close friend to Viv and me. We got to know Claudia and learned quickly that although she’s reserved, she has her opinions and sticks with them. Also, she may be the least judgmental person in the world. I could kill someone and I know she would help hide the body. That just made us love her even more.
“We haven’t said it yet,” I finally admit. “I mean, I’ve never even said it to anyone.”
Claudia’s eyes soften, and I can tell she gets it. Well, as much as she can.
“It’s okay to be afraid, Eleanor, but don’t let that fear hold you back from being open with him.”
“I know you’re right and I’m working on it, but I’ve just never done anything like this before. It’s all new to me. And even though he never talks about his ex, I can tell he loved her. Sometimes I feel like I’m competing with a ghost.” I sigh, trying not to become overly emotional, especially when I know the guys could arrive any second.
“I wouldn’t worry about her, Eleanor. From what I’ve heard, which may I add is not much, it was just young love. They haven’t even seen each other since they left for college.”
Her words give me comfort, and I know she’s right. I’m just being paranoid.
“I know he loves you. We can all see it. I think we all knew even before he realized it.”
My head shoots up and I feel a lump forming in my throat, prohibiting any words to come out so I can reply.
He loves me?
I must have that dopey love-struck look on my face because Claudia seems pretty pleased with herself, giving me the most reassuring smile I’ve ever seen. As I’m about to pry even more than I already have, the guys arrive.
“Sorry we’re late. Coach made us do extra drills ’cause this douchebag was goofing off.” Wren laughs as he punches Jess in the arm.
I turn my gaze to meet Jess’s, and suddenly all of my previous doubts and fears seem pointless. Our eyes meet momentarily before his gaze sweeps over my body, paying specific attention to my lips. A blush creeps over me in reaction, and suddenly the only place I want to be is in his bedroom, somewhere we’ve gotten all too familiar with over the past few weeks.
I take this opportunity to let my gaze roam his body, and Jesus H. Christ, if I didn’t want him badly before, I sure as hell do now. He’s in a pair of dark denim jeans with a white T-shirt that almost perfectly outlines his abs. His hair is slightly damp and falling over his forehead, hair I would love to run my hands through right about now.
Jess seems to get where my mind is heading because he gives me his signature smirk and slides into the booth next to me, letting his hands wander a little too far down.
When I try to wiggle away, because the last thing I want is to be caught by anyone else, he just pulls me closer and plants a kiss on my head.
“So, what are you two chatting about?”
“Just Eleanor’s evil coworker Umbridge,” she says convincingly.
“Oh yeah, Jess said you were having issues with one of the staff. I take it that’s who the Harry Potter character is,” Wren says with a small chuckle.
“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “Girl has a real vendetta for me.”
“It’s true. Viv and I saw it today when we went to visit,” Claudia adds.
“Well, if you need me to go have a talk with her, just let me know,” Jess jokes, then takes a sip of my shake.
I smile and tell him it won’t be necessary, but I appreciate the sentiment. The next hour goes by with talks of hockey, school, and my least favorite topic, my birthday. I manage to convince everyone that we should just hit up Viper because it’s a Saturday, but the looks on their faces have me fearing that there’s something else going on.
After eating half of
the diner, we say our goodbyes, and Jess drives us back to my apartment in his truck. Because Jess and I have class together tomorrow, we decide to spend the night at my place so we can do some homework together, among other things.
To say we get some work done would be the overstatement of the century. We’re otherwise preoccupied.
“Can I ask you something?” Jess’s voice is laced with uncertainty as he pulls away from me to sit up. The sheet covering his upper chest falls away as he turns to face where I’m lying in bed.
“Anything,” I say, and I mean it.
The hesitant expression on his face unsettles me, and a nervous feeling pools in my stomach.
“Jess?” I say slowly because his silence is doing no one any favors.
He sucks in a deep breath and turns those beautiful hazel eyes to me.
“It’s about your dad,” he says, catching me off guard as he runs a hand through his hair nervously.
The feeling of dread in my stomach just got a whole lot worse, but I try to not regret telling him he could ask me anything.
“Oh,” I say quietly as I break eye contact to stare at the ceiling. Since I told Jess about my past last month, he hasn’t brought it up. I know that may seem odd to many, but I think he understands that just because I told him doesn’t mean I’m ready to talk about it.
“Els?” Jess says cautiously as he takes my hand in his, then gently strokes it with his thumb. His touch sends shivers down my spine but also brings a wave of comfort. I would shut this conversation down if it were anyone else, but something in his warm tone makes me want to answer.
“You can ask me.” My reply is hesitant, which I know he notices, but I give him a look that urges him to continue.
“Have you ever thought about contacting your dad? Or I mean, do you know if he looked for you?” The moment the question leaves his lips, I can tell he’s internally berating himself for asking me. I feel a need to comfort him, so I sit up to face him, taking his hands in my own.
“For the first two years after I left, I asked myself those questions almost every day, but I eventually realized that I would never find the answers. Finding answers would mean going back, and that’s something I’m not willing to do.” I’m surprised at the truth behind my answer and the fact I was even able to say it.
Looking into his eyes, I can tell my words don’t bring any solace to Jess, but then again, it didn’t ever bring any to me either. He’s internalizing what I said, and his look slowly morphs from sadness to anger.
“What kind of man would just abandon his daughter when she clearly needed him?” I can tell by the look on his face that he’s angry for me, but there’s no need. It can’t be anything I haven’t already felt.
“Jess, what you need to understand about my dad is that he wasn’t a bad man.” My statement seems to surprise him, because now he’s looking at me with a quizzical look on his face.
“He was always there for me growing up, never missing a ballet recital, school function, or any of that stuff. Yes, his job wasn’t exactly ethical, but he was my dad and I loved him. I know it may be hard to understand, but my dad was so consumed by his grief because my mom was his entire world. When she died, I think he did too; he just didn’t know how to continue. I’m not saying him deserting me was okay, because it wasn’t—I needed him and he was gone—but I’m saying I finally think I understand.” I pause, taking a breath, because I’m not just admitting this to Jess. I’m finally admitting it to myself.
“To the world, Vinny Morello is just some sketchy guy who has ties to the Jersey mob, but to me he was my dad. Maybe that says more about who I am, the fact that I’m able to separate the two, but I don’t care. And you want to know the worst part of it all? I may never see the man again, and he may never want to see me, but there’s always going to be a part of me that loves him. And maybe that’s fucked up—hell, I’m sure it is—but I can’t help it.” My voice cracks at my final confession, and Jess pulls me into his arms, holding me tight.
“A part of me wants to hate him so bad, Jess,” I whisper into his chest. “He has taken so much from me and never stuck around to see the fallout. I wish I could blame being so fucked up on him. I mean, I haven’t been able to sustain a normal relationship. I can’t tell people my real name. I mean, Jesus—” I pause, taking in a breath. “I can’t even cry. It’s been five years since an actual tear has left my eye. The man even stole my tears. And yet, after it all, I can’t hate him.” I bury my head deeper into his neck at my last statement and breathe him in. Throughout everything, Jess Parker has become my constant, and I have no idea what I would do without him.
“We always want to see the best in our parents, Eleanor. Our love for them is unconditional. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you love your dad. It makes you human.” His comforting tone is laced with warmth and makes me feel safe, something he’s always been good at doing. His genuine concern for my well-being only makes me love him even more.
Wait. Did I just admit to being in love with Jess Parker?
The importance of my realization hits me, but for once, I welcome it.
Maybe being in love isn’t so bad.
I spend the rest of the night snuggled into Jess’s side, using him as my personal safety blanket. It takes almost no time for me to fall asleep due to the intensity of the conversation we had.
I’m alerted to the new day as sunlight spills through the crevice of Jess’s blinds, gently telling me to awaken. I roll over to snuggle back in with Jess, but am surprised to find that the bed is empty.
I begrudgingly sit up from the comfort of the warm bed as I wipe this morning’s sleep out of my eyes. I look around the room for Jess, but yet again, I find myself alone. Glancing at the clock, I see we have class in a couple of hours, so I decide to change before going to look for him.
If this were my apartment, I would be comfortable walking around in Jess’s T-shirt, but the fact that four other guys live here makes me hyper aware that walking around pantless would not be wise.
After pulling on my pair of jeans, I wander downstairs to find Jess staring out into his back garden. His back to me, I take a moment to admire the specimen that is Jess Parker. He’s only in his pajama bottoms, and the sunlight from the outside is streaming in, creating a halo-like image around him.
“Are you gonna stare at me all day or just this morning?” Jess asks with a chuckle as he turns around to face me. His awareness catches me off guard, and I can’t help the blush that begins to creep up my body.
“Just admiring what’s mine,” I say, my voice surprising even me with how husky it sounds. Jess doesn’t seem to mind as he pulls me in close to press a kiss on my lips.
“All yours,” he says, making my stomach erupt in butterflies.
“Coffee?” He signals to the machine in the kitchen, and I gladly accept.
“So, why are you up so early?” I ask as I round the counter to take the steaming cup from his hands.
As soon as I ask that question, his smile slips away and a look I really don’t like seeing overtakes his features.
“My dad called,” he says, almost strained. His hands are gripping the life out of the marble counter, so I lean over and grab one of them in my own.
“He wants me to go over for Thanksgiving next week. Says it’s his way to make up for being so MIA recently.” Looking at Jess, I can almost feel the internal dilemma brewing inside of him. I can tell he’s trying to be strong by not letting this affect him, but at the same time, I know the impact his father has on him.
“You want to go,” I say softly, because his expression is giving him away.
Jess lets out a frustrated growl and looks up at me. “But I shouldn’t want to. Especially after the countless times he never showed up for me, especially recently.”
I hop off the stool I’m on and round the counter to Jess, then pull him into a hug. He automatically relaxes as he nuzzles his head into my neck and breathes me in.
“We always want
to see the best in our parents, Jess. Our love for them is unconditional,” I tell him, reiterating what he told me last night. Jess lifts his head and stares down at me with a more relaxed look in his eyes.
“Will you go with me?” His question catches me off guard, as I never expected to meet Jess’s father, but I know that this is one of those pivotal times in a relationship. Jess eyes me warily, almost like a scared little boy, while waiting for my response.
“You didn’t even have to ask. I would be delighted,” I tell him as I reach up and thread my hands through his hair.
He lets out a sigh of relief, and a newfound solace creeps into his eyes.
“Have I ever told you how fucking incredible you are, Eleanor Ivy?” He doesn’t need to. It’s in the way he’s looking at me. As I look into his captivating eyes, we have a silent conversation of the words neither of us is ready to share yet. And for the first time, I believe what Claudia told me. Jess Parker loves me.
After class, Jess and I decide to spend the afternoon together before I have to get to work. We meet up with Will and Viv for lunch at Dina’s, and then Jess decides to walk me to Collette’s. I’m kind of hoping Umbridge will be there so Jess can finally understand what I mean when I talk about her.
The weather has not been friendly today, so I snuggle into Jess’s side as we walk along the paved streets of Cambridge. I cling to his navy-blue sweater as we walk toward Collette’s as one. I can’t help but notice the feeling of contentment that has crept over me in this moment.
“What are you thinking about?” Jess asks as we round the corner. I peer up into his captivating gaze and don’t even fight the smile that’s forming.
“Just how happy I am.” My old self would never have been so brazen to admit this, and I think Jess can tell, because a goofy smile has spread across his face.
“You mean the world to me, Els,” he whispers in a husky voice, and I see the change in his eyes. If we weren’t in the street right now, let’s just say we would be back at Jess’s, sans clothing.
Brief Encounters_The Encounters Series Page 20
