Great. Blackout drunk looks great on me.
My head is pounding; it feels as if a heavy metal band is playing inside my skull, inducing the world’s worst headache. I reach up to touch my head out of impulse and wince at the pain shooting from my right knuckle.
Holy crap. What the fuck happened?
“Hurts, doesn’t it?” I wince at the volume of Jess’s voice, even though I’m pretty sure he’s talking normally.
He walks over to the bed and hands me an ice pack. “We should get the swelling down,” he says as he reaches out to grab my hand. His touch is gentle and I wince, remembering dinner last night.
He must have seen me because he says sorry, obviously thinking he hurt me.
“How did this happen?” I manage to get out, even though it feels like razor blades in my throat.
Jess’s eyes crease and I see that he’s trying to hold back his laughter. “I thought you might not remember. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink so much, Els. You were definitely entertaining, especially when this happened.” He motions to my hand.
I look at him, urging him to continue.
“Let’s just say you probably won’t be seeing Dylan Scott around you again.” This time Jess doesn’t even bother to hide his laugh while I stare at him, mouth agape.
“I punched Dylan Scott?” I say skeptically, making sure I’ve heard Jess correctly. But I haven’t talked to Dylan in months.
He gives me a tight nod and waits for me to say something. Flashes of the copious amounts of alcohol I drank last night dance through my mind, and I grimace. I wanted to make the night count, but Jesus, I wanted to remember it too.
“Jesus,” I mutter. I let out a breath and let my head fall back onto the pillow. “Why in the world would I punch Dylan? I mean, we didn’t exactly end on great terms, but I didn’t think there was any bad blood.” I look helplessly at Jess for answers as he lies down on the bed next to me.
“Dylan was talking shit about you and me,” he says, trying to act unaffected, “but it was mainly to do with me and my not-so-stellar past.” Jess pauses after he says this, and I can see the shame in his eyes.
“Hey,” I say gently as I reach for him, “you have nothing to be guilty about. I know we never really talked about it, but I don’t hold your past against you. I wouldn’t even have any right.” Jess’s eyes soften at my words, but I can tell he’s still uneasy about something.
“What did Dylan say, Jess?”
Jess lets out a huff and then turns on his side to face me. “He said that you were just another fuck to me and I would be done with you within the month.” Jess tenses as he recounts Dylan’s harsh words, and I can’t help but flinch myself. What the hell did I ever do to make him so bitter?
“There’s more,” Jess says angrily. “He said that the only reason I was with you for this long was because of how good you were in bed. He said from personal experience, people can take his word for it.”
“What the fuck!” I yell. “What a dickhead. I’m glad I punched him, then,” I say, feeling more content with my decision to punch the bastard.
“God, Els, I wanted to kill him. If you hadn’t gotten to him first, I don’t know if I would have been able to hold myself back.” Jess sighs before turning to me. “God, I don’t even know whether I should be upset the whole thing happened or thoroughly impressed with your right hook.”
I giggle at his words and turn to face him. “You should just be thanking your lucky stars I was there to defend your ass.”
“Oh, is that so,” Jess says with a raised eyebrow. “Let’s see how you defend yourself now,” he says before he’s on top of me.
“Stop!” I squeal between giggles as Jess tickles me. “I’m too hungover to defend myself now,” I try to say, but I think it just sounds like a jumbled bunch of words because of my laughing fit.
“Not so tough now, are ya?” He smirks as he pins me down and tickles me until I can’t breathe.
The rest of my afternoon is spent in bed, attempting to ward off the world’s worst hangover, which I have a feeling will still be here tomorrow. After tickling me to tears, Jess had to head off with the guys to practice, so I’ve been left alone with my thoughts all afternoon. Not ideal.
After sending Dylan a strongly worded text that may or may not tell him to stay the hell away from me, in less kind words, I down four Advil in hopes that they’ll decrease the swelling in my hand.
A little after six p.m., there’s a knock on my door. A bubbly Viv peers into my room to make sure I’m up. Her blonde curls are piled on top of her head, and she’s rocking a pair of denim overalls. Seriously, if there’s one person who can rock overalls, it’s Viv.
“Just checking you’re still alive.” She laughs as she sits on the end of the bed.
“Lucky to be.” I groan; the whole day has gone by, and I still feel like shit. Serves me right for drinking so much.
“How’s the hand?” She grimaces, looking at it. Viv’s never been one for violence, and I guess I can’t really blame her.
“Let’s just say my hangover feels worse than the hand looks.” I attempt to sit up, but give up after the pounding in my head only intensifies. I haven’t let myself get this drunk since I was sixteen. I shudder at the memories.
“So,” Viv asks tentatively, “have you decided what you’re going to do with Jess?” She’s doing that thing again where she looks anywhere but at me, so I know this is making her anxious.
“Yeah, I have. I’m going to tell him everything Sunday night after I see his dad. I just need to tell Roger to back off once and for all before I say anything to Jess.” I pause at the realization I’ll have to face the creep again. “I just need to do it, Viv. Then I’ll go from there. Yes, it’s a very real possibility that I’ll lose Jess, but keeping him in the dark isn’t just shitty now. It’s flat-out wrong.”
Viv meets my gaze, and she gives me a warm smile while putting her hand on my thigh. “I’m really proud of you, Ellie. You may not see it, but you’ve grown so much over these past few months. And although I think Jess has helped you, I don’t think it was him who changed you. I guess what I’m trying to say is, no matter what happens, you’ll be okay. We’re gonna be okay.”
Viv’s words cause a lump in my throat, and all I can do to respond is nod. She pulls me into an embrace, and we just sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, soaking up the change that has come upon both of us this year.
Today is the day. The day that will either make or break my relationship with Jess. Please don’t let it be the latter.
Looking over at him sleeping next to me, I can’t imagine waking up next to anyone else ever again.
Ever again.
Those are pretty big words for anyone in a relationship of a few months, especially me.
I guess that’s how I know a part of me has changed, or maybe evolved? The notion of a forever with anyone would have sent me running a few months ago, but right now, forever sounds pretty good.
Jess stirs in his sleep, grumbling into his pillow before turning back to face me. He looks so peaceful, and here I am, hours away from potentially destroying not only our relationship, but the one he has with his father.
His brown hair is pointing up in all directions, and there’s a slight scruff growing on his jaw, something I’m almost certain he’ll shave today, as he hates stubble. Then I notice something again that I never got around to asking him about. The scar on his chin.
We’ve been together less than two months, but we’ve been friends for longer, and I have never asked. When this is all done, after, I’m going to ask him about that scar. There has to be an after for us.
“I’m not sure what the guys have planned for Wolf’s birthday tonight, so I’ll text you when I’m on my way home,” Jess says as he packs his uniform for practice into his bag.
We spent the morning in bed, and now Jess has to go to practice before he and the guys are off to celebrate Wolf’s twenty-third birthday.
“I’m spending the night with Viv, so I should be home.” I smile up at him from the edge of the bed.
He turns, giving me his signature smile, and all I want to do is beg him to come back to bed, but that wouldn’t help either of us. I have to meet Roger in four hours and am gonna need the time to give myself a pep talk.
“Okay, babe. Well, I’m gonna head out. Keep that hand iced,” he says, checking the room one last time before giving me a quick kiss.
“Jess, wait,” I say all too frantically. I dig in my bag, then pull out the mixtape I made yesterday afternoon. I scurry off the bed and head over to him, mixtape in hand.
“I made this for you,” I begin, “but I don’t want you to listen to it until tomorrow afternoon.” Jess eyes me with a big grin, clearly curious what I’m playing at.
“I’m serious. I have something to talk to you about, but I don’t want you to listen to this until after.” I try to sound firm, but now Jess is looking at me with concern in his stare.
“Els, do you want me to skip practice and we can talk now? You’re kinda freaking me out, if I’m being honest.”
Oh lord, why is he so understanding?
“Don’t skip practice. It can wait,” I assure him, “but promise me you won’t listen to it until tomorrow.”
He looks at me for a few more moments, still looking unconvinced, but finally relents.
“Good,” I say with the best smile I can muster in the given situation. I pull him close and kiss him with everything I have in me. He drops his bag automatically and his arms thread around my waist, pulling me into him. He brushes his tongue against mine as I bite down on his lip, eliciting a small growl from him.
We continue like this for a few more moments until I finally pull away, both of us panting for breath.
He chuckles, looking down at me. “God, Els, you sure know how to give a guy a goodbye.”
And that’s just it. Goodbye. That’s what I’m afraid we might have just had.
As I walk up to the Mirage Hotel at six p.m. sharp, the dread in the bottom of my stomach only intensifies. This could go a number of ways. Roger could call Jess as soon as I leave; in that case, I’ll have a major problem on my hands. Or he could accept it and move on with his life, but I’m thinking that’s doubtful.
Room 105. I’m here. And I want to crawl under a rock and die. I must say, I was expecting the penthouse suite for him, but I guess I’m a dirty little secret now, so the penthouse would be too obvious.
Knocking on the door, I hold my breath, peering down at my worn jeans and scuffed black boots. I didn’t even bother with a stitch of makeup. This isn’t like the other times I visited him; there’s no need to impress. I may have even tried to look a fraction grubby in my appearance. I can’t chance him getting the wrong idea.
The door swings open in a rush, causing me to step back. Roger stands in front of me, perfectly groomed in his Armani suit, and I get the same feeling I got the first night I met him. Sleazebag. I should have trusted my gut.
“Come in,” he says curtly as he pulls the door open wider.
The room is a suite, not exactly modest, but still not his usual penthouse, alerting me that I indeed am correct in assuming this visit is to be more secretive than the rest. The feeling causes unease in my gut as I step inside, but I keep my shoulders squared so he knows I’m not afraid.
Before I can even begin to tell Roger to kindly fuck off, he starts talking.
“I know you’re probably wondering why I asked you here, and I don’t have a lot of time to go over this, so I’m going to be blunt.” His tone is sharp and to the point. “I need you to stay away from my son. It isn’t anything personal, Eliz—I mean, Eleanor, but you have to understand. Jess is going places. He has a career in hockey ahead of him, and it’s just too risky having someone like you around him.”
Someone like me?
I try not to let his words affect me, but I can’t help it. They sting, and rage floods me. “You don’t know anything about me.”
I don’t bother to yell, because I don’t want him to know that his words are ones I’ve used against myself countless times.
“I don’t know you?” He laughs, but there isn’t an ounce of humor in it. “I may not know your real name, but I’m more than certain I know more about you than my son does. You’re young and beautiful, anyone can see that, but you’re an escort, darling.” His condescending tone only furthers my anger, but I can’t manage to find the words to speak. Is it because a part of me knows he’s right? That I will never be fully deserving of Jess?
Finally, I manage to find my voice and regain my composure. “I can see coming here was a mistake. I’m going to tell Jess everything tomorrow, and he can decide if he wants a relationship with me.” I pause, looking him dead in the eye, and raise my voice slightly. “But no matter the outcome, don’t you ever think for one second you know me better than he does. You had a fictionalized version of me. Someone I made up to pay the bills. You don’t have a right to judge me, and you never have.”
Keeping my head held high, I look him in the eye so he knows I’m not fucking around. He’s radiating frustration at this point, but I don’t give a shit. He hasn’t just insulted me, he’s insulted Jess, and that’s something I can’t stand for.
“Don’t be a child, Eliz—fuck, Eliza, Eleanor, whatever your name is at this point! You’re threatening everything my son has worked for, and I won’t stand for it!” I flinch and take a step back toward the door as he raises his voice.
I pull open the door and step into the hallway, blocking out all he’s saying. I attempt to pull it closed, but Roger has followed me out.
“Be reasonable about this. You’re jeopardizing his career. If what you do gets out, no one will want him.”
I spin around and stalk back toward him, completely losing my calm demeanor. “Don’t you dare try to tell me what Jess wants. He doesn’t want to play professional hockey, you asshole! You would know that if you ever bothered calling him!”
Chest heaving, I don’t think I’ve ever been this furious with another person in my life.
Roger takes a breath and walks toward me, an eerie calm washing over him. “If you don’t end things with him, I’m calling him tonight and telling him about our past relationship.”
I scoff at his words and take a step toward him. “Relationship? Really, I wouldn’t give what we had the credit of calling it a relationship. A relationship entails trust and love, two things I know you aren’t capable of.”
Anger has flooded my body, and I’m sure if someone saw me right now, they would stay the hell away. I think Roger seems to get I won’t relent, as he thrusts his hands through his hair in frustration, something Jess does too.
Jess.
I need to find him now. I can’t wait.
“You’re going to regret this, Eleanor,” Roger says before turning away from me and slamming his door.
Taking a deep breath, I turn away from Roger’s suite and begin walking down the hallway toward the elevators. As I’m pulling out my phone, I see movement ahead from the corner of my eye and look out of impulse.
I immediately halt as all the air is knocked out of my body. Ahead of me stands the one person I never wanted to hurt, but by the look on his face, I can tell I’m too late. He heard everything.
“Jess, what are you doing here?” I manage to say, but my voice breaks along with my heart. Tears that haven’t made an appearance in years begin to fill my eyes as I take a step closer to him, but he flinches, moving back.
This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.
“Wolf’s having his birthday in one of the suites. My dad got us the room. I was just getting ice,” he manages to say while clearly trying to gain comprehension of the situation.
Roger got him the room?
“Jess, I can explain everything, but please, please, you have to give me a chance,” I beg on a shaky breath. Oh god, he has to let me explain.
“My dad?” he whispers incredulously
. “Really, Eleanor? Of all the people in the world, you were with my fucking dad!” The rise in his voice causes me to flinch, but I don’t back away from him. I need to be strong.
“I met him before I knew you, Jess, and ended things when you and I started going out. I swear to god I had no idea he was your father until Thanksgiving.” I don’t even know if I’m saying the right things, but at this point, I need to tell him as much as he will let me.
“I think I’m going to be fucking sick.”
I risk looking him in the eye, and the hurt and disgust are hard not to notice. My words are clearly causing him pain. He thrusts his hands through his hair in extreme frustration and then turns away from me, slamming a palm against the hallway wall. I wince from his outburst but continue, knowing full well that this might be the last time I can tell him anything.
“Jess, you have to know I never had feelings for him. It was all business. I needed the money to pay for school. I had no other options.” My tone has gone from pleading to desperate, but I can’t think of anything else to do. I can see him slipping away from me.
He pauses upon hearing my words and slowly turns to face me, his face twisted in anger, regret, hurt, and the expression that kills me the most, disgust. “You fucked my father for money?” He spits the words as if they burn his tongue and looks me dead in the eye.
“No,” I say with a gasp. “Jess, that isn’t how it was. I swear to you I would never do that. I couldn’t.”
His expression doesn’t change as he turns away from me and begins pacing back and forth. He finally stops but doesn’t look at me. Instead, he focuses on the floor.
“You’re an actress, Els. You’ve been acting for the past five years. How do I know you aren’t acting now?”
“Jess, you know me. I wouldn’t lie to you.” I take a step toward him, but he moves back. His movement feels like a knife slicing across my chest, and even though it nearly kills me, I don’t go to him.
“But that’s the thing, Eleanor. I clearly don’t know you at all. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. Someone I clearly don’t even know.”
Brief Encounters_The Encounters Series Page 24
