by C. J. Abedi
And then, he arrived.
Devilyn.
And I was finally told why.
The Lia Fail placed it all before me. The reason he kept his distance had nothing to do with who I was, or who he was, but all with who his father was. The prophecy. What it all meant for him and for me. I saw his pain and anguish, and I saw that bringing Famous back to life brought about his own doom.
And then I saw our kiss.
I relived every moment of it. I felt him put his arms around me and pull me close. I felt his energy even now, as if he was standing right next to me.
I watched him kiss away my memories, desperate to make me forget. It confirmed all the dreams I had experienced over the summer were actual moments that we had shared. They were real. All of them. I kept moving through time, and I began to see my future.
Snippets. Pieces of a puzzle that had yet to come. Sacred moments written in a destiny that I would know no matter the course I took.
And I knew.
I knew why he pushed me away. Why he didn’t want to have anything to do with me. It wasn’t because he didn’t want me or more, love me.
It was all because he wanted to protect me.
From himself.
D
I waited for her.
Because I knew.
Everything he had done. Everything he had shown her. I ran my hands through my hair. If he wanted her to see the truth, then she would see me just as I was.
The Dark King.
Every feeling that ran through her would be nothing compared to the reality of the danger she faced by letting me in. Even death would pale in comparison. And this knowledge he had given her certainly wouldn’t stop it—unless she ran away. Unless she hid and accepted her life just as it was now, not seeking anything more. Only then would she be safe. But she was stubborn, and I knew she wouldn’t see things that way. She would hope, she would yearn for something more, for a different outcome that would never be.
The second her memories of the past came rushing back, I knew. I knew that Odin had shown her everything, even the history of the Fae. I could feel the sadness, anger, and love coursing through her veins. How could he have done this? How could he have revealed everything, including the part I played in wiping her memory? But maybe that, too, was inevitable.
I didn’t know anymore.
So I waited for her.
I waited in the Forest of Magik—the only place where I knew we could have any privacy and a place where Caroline could see the wondrous beauty of the Fae and the surroundings we inhabited. She needed to see our world. Her world.
I heard a forceful crackle in the sky and knew that she had arrived. Just as I knew Odin had led her to me and that the forest Fae would guide her directly to me and protect her during her short journey. Of that, at least, I had nothing to worry about.
No rendition could do this land justice. It was magik. I faced the luscious moss-filled grounds and walked among the array of flowers that aligned a stream, which sang a beautiful tune. I knew what direction she would arrive from and faced the opposite way. I needed to gather as much strength as possible before I finally looked into her questioning eyes.
“Devilyn?”
I waited.
“I know. I know everything.” Her voice was strong and shook with anger as she continued moving toward me. “Odin showed me. He let me see it all.”
“And now you know,” I responded, slowly dropping my head.
“How could you? How could you rob me of my memories?”
It shamed me to know that I had caused her so much pain. My intent had been so different.
“I thought it best.” My voice was a whisper.
“Best?! Best to hide the truth of who and what I am from me? Best to make me forget what is my right to know?!”
I was almost grateful for her fury—it was easier to handle than her love.
“You have lived in a mortal world your entire life. I wasn’t sure you could deal with it. I thought to spare you—”
“Spare me?!” She came up close and shoved her fists into my back. “You coward! Look at me.”
I could hear the anger in her voice but I still couldn’t turn to face her.
“I said, look at me!” she shouted. Her voice echoed through the sky, vibrating with the intensity of her emotions. The Fae sky answered her call and began to rain down on us. It was not a cold rain, but warm and inviting, just like the forest we stood in. I could not ignore her any longer.
As I turned, so did all the Tree Fae. They opened their eyes and stared at her curiously, their bodies moving slowly but in rhythm with one another.
Caroline took a shaky step back as she stared at them in shock. She looked back at me through her wet hair, and I could see that she was afraid.
“They won’t hurt you.”
“I know,” she said after a moment. She closed her eyes to regain a semblance of her sanity and digest everything that she was witnessing and what she had no doubt heard from Odin. Then she looked at me.
The myriad of emotions that ran over her face tore at my gut.
“Answer me.”
“What is there to say?” I returned quietly. We were both soaking wet now, and I knew Caroline would need to leave the forest soon. “Odin showed you everything. My reasons—”
“Your reasons, Devilyn? You’re not allowed to make decisions for me. You’re not allowed to steal from me!”
“Steal from you?”
“My memories. Those are mine! My right.”
“I acted in your best interests.” My voice sounded hollow.
“It was never your choice to make. You don’t control me.”
“I just wanted to spare you needless pain.”
“And yet here you are, the very cause of it.”
There was another crackle in the sky. I looked up and saw purple lightning lighting up the heavens.
“That was never my intention.” I felt as though she had punched me in the stomach. This was by far one of the worst moments of my life. She believed I had betrayed her.
“And that’s all you can say? Is that all you have to say to me?”
I closed my eyes. Darkness would be my shield, even now.
“What would you like me to say, Caroline?”
“I want you to feel something!” she shouted. “I want you to understand the implications of what you’re doing—”
Caroline charged at me, slipping slightly on the slick moss, and threw her fists into my chest. Instinctively my arms reached out to hold her against me, protecting her from the rain as she hit me over and over. I closed my eyes against her pain.
“You turned your back on me!” she cried. “How could you just leave me?”
I couldn’t take any more. I opened my eyes and lost the battle. I pulled her in closer, burying my head in her neck. Breathing her in. She didn’t resist.
“Do you think any of this is easy for me?” I whispered against her cheek, completely lost now. “Do you?”
I told myself that I just wanted to take away the sadness that I had brought her. Offer her comfort. Nothing more. My hands moved up to cup the sides of her face, caressing her soft skin, wet from the rain. I brushed back her hair and began to kiss away the tears that had mingled with the droplets from the sky. And then I kissed her lips. I pulled back slightly, giving her the opportunity to tell me if she didn’t want this.
Black eyes met gray.
Everything else around us disappeared. There were no problems.
No prophecies.
No danger.
Just the two of us.
And a desire unlike any I had ever known.
At that moment she ran her hands up my chest and looked at me, which was all the permission I needed. I pulled her back into my arms, lifted her off the ground, and turned her back against a tree, crushing her into my embrace. She wrapped her legs around my waist. One hand ran through her hair and lifted her face to mine as the other wrapped around her waist, holding her up.
She gripped my shoulders, trying to bring me closer to her. Both of us wanted more, knowing that if one of us let go, someone would disappear.
We kissed passionately.
The rain fell in droves, completely soaking us.
And it still wasn’t enough.
Caroline was the first to slowly pull away, resting her forehead against my cheek. Her eyes were warm with desire, her lips full, and I couldn’t resist leaning down to capture them again. She moved back again, and I let her body slowly slide to the ground.
“You love me.”
How could I deny it? I nodded.
“But it doesn’t change anything, does it?”
I shook my head.
“Why are you doing this? Why won’t you give us a chance?”
“Don’t you understand anything? Don’t you know what will happen?”
“Alderon can’t hurt us—”
“He can! And he will! And even after he is gone, I have that ability to hurt you even more, and I will not have it,” I said forcefully, a wave of anger rushing over me.
“This is not only your decision to make.”
“It is.”
She stared at me for a long moment.
“So my feelings don’t matter? My love doesn’t matter?”
I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
“Don’t you understand? I. Am. Darkness. There are parts of me you will never understand, parts that I would never want you to know. I know what my demons are capable of because they live inside my soul. Not even your love or your light can save me.”
“So you’re just giving up.”
“You can’t ignore darkness, Caroline, because it arrives every night, whether you want it to or not. I want you, I need you to—” I could barely say the words, every fiber of my being rejecting them, but I forced them out “—find someone else to love.”
• • •
Within minutes Caroline was safely back in her home, and I was staring out at the outer banks of the Roanoke Marshes Lighthouse replaying what I knew was the biggest mistake of my life.
Chapter Nine
“He who reigns within himself and rules passions, desires, and fears is more than a king.”
—John Milton
Roanoke Marshes Lighthouse
Rowan awaited the Great Mother inside the lighthouse. As he stood at the top looking out at the sea, he noticed how moved he was by the old building. The location. The sea. It called out to him. He imagined that a great many people would look out at this water from this very spot and allow themselves to believe that the impossible was possible. The ocean could soothe any soul; whether it was wild or calm, water always brought great peace.
And peace was something they all needed.
Especially now.
“I love it here,” Dana said as she appeared beside Rowan.
Rowan smiled. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a white sweatshirt. Pieces of her long hair were pulled away from her face, her delicate features more pronounced, her beauty staggering.
“I like your outfit.”
“I felt like dressing as a mortal would,” she said, smiling. “Sometimes—sometimes, my dear Rowan, it is nice to just get lost in a crowd.” Dana lifted her chin and took a deep breath. “How I love the smell and taste of the ocean. You can feel the essence of human life. The beginning and end of all. There is great power in water. It is the only life source that has seen everything. It has been everywhere: below the earth, within our bodies, above the ground. It has experienced all of life. There is nothing like it, even when it roars beneath us, as it does now.”
“Indeed,” Rowan agreed. “It is immensely soothing.”
They stood in silence for a moment, the sound of the sea filling the quiet void with a calmness that they both were in desperate need of.
“From the bruises on your face, I must assume that our Dark King is not faring well,” Dana said with a hint of amusement.
Rowan closed his eyes.
“I must apologize—”
Dana laughed softly. “Do not. A young heart in love is a fierce opponent.”
“Is he in love? I don’t know of any love that can be denied so easily. And yet he pushes her away.”
“The great loves are always tumultuous and often refused,” Dana sighed. “Things will change quickly, my young warrior. They will be forced to, as the clouds are rolling in.”
As she spoke Rowan watched as darkness began to race across the sky.
“Alderon comes,” he said, alarm in his voice.
“Something does,” she said sadly as they watched the rain begin to pour down in the distance.
“The Dark is upon us. The fight is about to begin. Protect the Light Queen at all costs.” Dana turned to face him. “Even if you must protect her from Devilyn himself. Do you understand what I am telling you?”
The two stared at one another until Rowan finally spoke.
“But the rules of Tuatha de Danann, of the Fates—”
“There are some rules that are meant to be broken. There are some destinies that cannot be written or foreseen. There are some destinies that must be shaped through the course of life.”
She took a deep breath. The Great Mother was fighting a battle for her people. For a chance.
But above all, for love.
“I must hear you say the words, Rowan. I need to know that you understand.”
“I understand, Great Mother,” he whispered. “I will protect her with my life.”
C
I stood before the mirror in my room. I didn’t look different, but I certainly felt it. I had changed. It felt like all of my innocence had been taken from me. I was no longer a naïve teenager, worried about what college she would attend.
I was Fae.
I was a queen.
I shook my head in disbelief. Nothing about me felt any less Caroline Ellis than I was yesterday morning when I left for school. I was still the same girl. A girl in love with a boy who didn’t feel the same way.
I need you to find someone else to love.
He could not have been more blunt. Even if deep down he wanted me. Even if he loved me. He would never be with me. I went to lie down on my bed and picked Famous up. His head rested on my chest and he stared at me with what I now knew were his immortal eyes. Living evidence of the price Devilyn had paid for my love.
“I kind of feel like you know everything I know,” I said to him.
He answered by nuzzling my chest.
“What am I going to do?” I didn’t expect him to answer, but a small part of me knew what his answer would be if he could.
You have to go on living, Caroline.
I could wallow in self-pity and sadness, or I could become what I was born to be. A queen. My mind still reeled with all that had been revealed to me at the Stone of Destiny. The legacy that was mine. My ancestry. The Fae. The magik.
I wished Devilyn would let me in. I desperately needed to talk to him about all of this, but he would not indulge me. He made that very clear. He was here only to protect me from his father and then would return to his Dark Kingdom, where he believed he belonged.
I couldn’t talk to my parents or even to Teddy, who would think I had completely lost my mind. I needed to speak with someone who understood it all and who came from the same world that I now descended from. I grabbed my cell phone from my night table and quickly dialed.
• • •
I zipped up my coat to ward off the cold air as I stood in the Elizabethan Gardens and stared at the statue of Virginia Dare. Her stone face was somber but beautiful as she stood surrounded by the lush trees that had been planted in her honor. I stepped close to her, humbled by all that she had sacrificed for love, wishing that I could somehow will her to speak to me.
“Her beauty was said to be unparalleled.” Rowan’s soothing voice interrupted my reverie.
I turned to face him.
“Thank you for meeting me.”
“Don’t th
ank me,” he said. “I know you must be in a state of shock right now. None of this can be easy to process.”
“It has been a lot to take in,” I admitted.
“I understand.” He walked up to me and we both turned to face the statue again.
“How do you feel, Caroline?”
“Numb,” I said honestly. “Just numb and nervous. About it all. About my lineage. About Alderon’s crazy vendetta. About …” My voice trailed off.
“Devilyn?”
I blushed and nodded. All roads inevitably led to Devilyn Reilly for me.
“Don’t be nervous. I want you to be able to talk about anything. It is important to me.”
I looked up at him. His green eyes were bright and earnest. And safe.
“I didn’t know who else to call.”
“I imagine it would be difficult to dump this on Teddy,” Rowan said with a laugh. “He would probably faint.”
I thought of the look on Teddy’s face if I told him, and laughed. “Yeah, I don’t know if it would go over so well.”
“Probably not.” Rowan tried to keep a straight face.
We were both quiet for a moment.
“Would you like to walk or sit?” he finally asked.
“I’d like to stay here,” I told him. “She brings me comfort for some reason. Even if she’s just a statue.”
“Is she just a statue?”
I turned to him. “What do you mean?”
Rowan nodded in the statue’s direction. “Look again.”
Rowan stepped behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. His closeness made me nervous.
He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Look with the eyes of someone who knows there is magik in the world. And then tell me if she is just a statue.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to clear my head. I thought about all of the images I had seen. Everything I now knew. The Fae. Immortality. Magik. And then I slowly opened them.
There was light everywhere.
All around us. Glowing through every crevice in the garden. Light shining from the trees, glimmering like the sun even through the overcast sky. Everything seemed to beam with an ethereal beauty that I had never before witnessed. I looked at Virginia Dare’s statue, and it too was glistening like a diamond. Her eyes were alive and she stared at me. I took a step forward and felt a soft breeze on my neck. There was a faint, familiar scent in the air. It had a warmth that I had craved my whole life.
