Caroline blushed and rested her head in her hands. She had burned the bridge between her and Conner a long time ago, and attempting to rebuild it, would need a miracle.
Mary smiled softly, as she pulled up a chair and sat opposite Caroline, "And you may even still love him. Just think about it and give me your answer in the morning."
Caroline nodded in agreement. Saying no to Mary was near impossible. The woman had the fighting spirit of a wasp and the gentleness of a butterfly all in one.
"I'll try, but I really think that it would be in vain."
Mary grabbed her hand and said, “I have faith in you.”
When she made it back to the bedroom, the bedside lamp was still on but Conner was already asleep. For a brief moment, she looked at him. He looked so young with all of his angry lines smoothed out, just like she remembered him. But she caught herself before she tracked down memory lane. She quietly rummaged through her luggage to find her pajamas and snuck to the bathroom to get dressed. Thankfully she had a modest sense of fashion when it came to sleepwear. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and made sure she all the buttons on her flannel bunny-print shirt were fastened before she entered the dimly lit room.
"No, it's me," she whispered.
"Macy?" Conner said sleepily.
With the guest bedroom occupied by Macy since her room was being painted out, she would have to take the floor. Apparently, Mary never allowed her children to sleep on the sofas and she was not planning on making a bad impression so early in her visit. She quickly grabbed the throw that was on a chair in the corner of the room, followed by a pillow that had fallen onto the floor.
"What are you doing?" he asked with one eye open.
Caroline stopped in her tracks, “I was trying not to disturb you, just go back to sleep.”
Conner shifted and sighed, "I may not be happy that you are here, but you are a woman nonetheless and if you have to stay in my room, you should take the bed."
Caroline shook her head, "No, I'm not going to sleep in your bed."
"Just take it before I change my mind," he muttered irritably.
Caroline rolled her eyes, “Where will you sleep?”
“On the floor, obviously.”
“No, absolutely not. The bed looks big enough we can share.”
Conner snorted, “No, we really can’t.”
Caroline rolled her eyes and laid down on her little makeshift bed.
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Conner snapped.
In a split second, he was up. He stalked across to her and tugged her roughly up from the floor and practically dragged her along and deposited her unceremoniously on the bed.
"Could you be any more uncivil?" Caroline snapped as she bounced ungraciously on the bed.
"Maybe if you weren't so stubborn I wouldn't have had to take those measures," he retorted.
"I'm stubborn?" Caroline snapped, "You just threw me on the bed because you simply can't take no for an answer!"
Conner pinched the bridge of his nose, "Listen it's been a difficult day and I would really like to get some sleep, just take the f... damn bed."
Caroline crossed her arms, "Fine!"
"Fine!"
Conner got settled in and the room and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. She wasn't sure if Conner had fallen asleep or if he too, lay awake.
"I'm sorry," she murmured.
“For?” Conner asked.
"For what I did to you."
"It was Ma's idea, you're not the only one to blame."
"Not for that, for what happened four years ago," she said softly.
“It was a long time ago.”
“And yet you still hate me.”
Conner didn't respond to that immediately, but after a moment he said, "You should get some sleep. You have a long flight back to Paris tomorrow."
His response was indifferent, and it hurt, knowing that he wouldn't even lend her a minute to explain why she did what she did.
The deafening silence from earlier descended on the room again. But her mind sounded like a marketplace, as thoughts were flung from one corner of her mind to the next. But soon enough Caroline was drifting off to sleep, not because she was tired, but because of the headache tablets she was given. She fought against it, but it was futile and finally she gave up the fight and slowly started to drift off.
"I'm sorry too."
She heard his voice break through the fog of her mind. She figured Conner must have thought she was asleep, otherwise, he probably wouldn't have said anything. But when she did finally fall asleep, it was with a smile on her face.
If his forgiveness was the only thing she would get out of this visit, it would be enough to last a lifetime.
Caroline's dreams took her back to a more carefree time. When having fun was the order of the day. In her dreams, she was younger, and Conner was laughing as they ran hand in hand to seek shelter from the rain.
The scenes changed and suddenly they were both lying in each other's arms in Conner's bedroom, murmuring declarations of love into each other's mouths.
“How much longer do we have mon cher?" She had asked him as she kissed his chest.
"I leave in a week, but it will only be for a while. I will come back to you."
Again, the scenery changed, and this time Caroline found herself running through a maze of tunnels, trying to find a way out. The walls covered with graffiti, that read 'Goodbye Conner'. Hysterically she burst out crying and with the end of her shirt, she tried to scrub the words off the wall, but the more she scrubbed the more words appeared.
Plagued by dreams or rather nightmares, she struggled to get a good night's rest, and before she finally drifted off for the last time, it was already 04:35 AM.
Caroline awoke to the sound of feet scuffling and slowly opened her eyes, to a sight that made her breath hitch in her throat. Conner was up and rummaging through his dresser. His back was to her, and she took the opportunity to stare, watching his muscles flex and release.
When he turned around she quickly closed her eyes to pretend to still be asleep.
"I know you're awake," he said and she cringed inwardly.
Embarrassed she opened her eyes and sat up, consciously touching the rat's nest that was stuck to her head.
"Good morning," she said groggily.
"Morning."
"Did you sleep well?" she attempted for small talk.
“I slept as well as I was going to, given that I was on a floor.”
Scratch that plan, she thought. It was really no use to try small talk, his brain wasn't wired that way, it had never been. If she was going to go through with Mary's plan for her to stay a week and try, she was going to have to consider a direct, straight forward approach. No bells and whistles or pretty, little packages with glittery bows.
"I've been thinking..." she started.
"That must be quite a challenge," he retorted sarcastically.
Caroline bit her tongue to keep herself from reciprocating with equal sarcasm.
“Can we start over?”
Conner cocked a brow and looked at her suspiciously, "Start over, are you kidding me?"
Caroline played with the blanket in her lap, "You should know that I had no idea that it was your mother who invited me. I honestly thought you wanted to see me."
"And pray tell sweetheart, what reason would I have had to see you?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest as he leaned back against the chest of drawers, regarding her with the deadpan expression of a bull frog. A pissed off bull frog.
Caroline shrugged, "I always felt guilty about how things ended and I thought this would be my chance to apologize for all the hurt I caused you."
Conner appeared to be considering it for a second before running his hand through his hair.
“Yeah, well I wasn’t completely innocent in what happened either. If what you say if true, I can’t begrudge you for wanting to make amends.”
“So, friends?” Caroline asked hopefully
.
She needed to see that Conner would be willing to work things out with her. While she knew that they could never be what they used to be, at the very least she could start the build up to telling him about Lizzi.
"It's not exactly that simple. Being friends requires trust, and right now there's none of that," Conner said and pulled his shirt on. "Anyway I have to get going now, Pa is already going to be pissed that I slept in. I'll bet anything that he is going make me shovel the horse stalls again.”
Caroline wrinkled her nose but nodded as Conner walked out the door. Then she remembered Mary's proposal. She propelled herself out of the bed and ran to the door.
"Conner... um, your mother invited me to stay the week," she informed him.
"That so?" Conner said raising a brow as he turned to look at her.
Caroline nodded, “I’m going to take her up on her offer.”
Conner regarded her for a moment, and then simply turned and walked down the stairs.
Caroline watched him until he disappeared downstairs and then she retreated into the room.
If she was going to stay here for an entire week, Mary was going to have to let her sleep on the sofa, or she was going to have to sleep with Macy in the guest room. She groaned and flopped back on the mattress. She tried to tell herself that she was only staying so she could eventually conjure up the courage to tell him about Lizzi. It was, at least, partly true, but she didn't want to admit that deep down she was hoping that they could rekindle the flame that once raged like an out of control wildfire.
She eventually managed to motivate herself to get up and get dressed, and when she finally made it downstairs, Mary was the only one in the kitchen.
"Morning darlin' saved you some breakfast. I assumed you were still getting used to the time change so I let you sleep in."
Caroline said her thanks and sat down to her eggs, bacon, and toast, she looked around the empty kitchen.
“Where is everyone?” Caroline asked.
"Well the boys are out with the cattle and the girls are in the garden," Mary said while she buzzed around the kitchen.
Caroline wasn't very hungry and picked here and there on her food, "Is there anything I can do to help around here?"
Mary nodded, "It's almost lunch time for the fellas, you can come with me to hand out the food and drinks."
"I would love to," Caroline smiled and got up to empty her plate of leftovers, "Thank you for breakfast but I wasn't really that hungry."
Mary regarded her and then picked at the dress by her waist, "You're just skin and bones young lady, you shouldn't starve yourself."
She liked Mary, but here and there, there were a few things that she could pick up that made her understand the way her mind worked. Mary liked to be in control, she preferred to be the last one to have the last say and she loved her children more than anything. For a moment, she wondered what it would have been like if her own mother was so fiercely protective.
While they were preparing lunch, Mary and Caroline talked about everything under the sun. Mary told Caroline how Conner had been such a free-spirited young man, always doing the opposite of what everyone expected. And Caroline could see how much she loved her son. Caroline told Mary how they two of them met, and how they hit it off from day one.
"So why did things not work out?" Mary asked curiously.
"I suppose I was just insecure in a big way," she started, "We had a good thing, but then he had to go away. I preempted that I won't ever see him again, so instead of talking to him about my fears, I thought to protect my own heart first. I left him a note to set him free."
Mary turned to look at her, "I can understand that, but Conner never breaks a promise."
Caroline sighed, "It's a matter of once bitten twice shy. Before I met Conner, I was in another relationship. Tourists come and go all the time. It was a young man who promised me the world, he left and a year later I found out he had married. That was the day I decided that it would never happen to me again."
Impulsively Mary wrapped her arms around Caroline and hugged her, "I"m sorry you had to go through that."
Caroline swallowed back her tears and plastered on her big-girl smile, "It's all in the past now."
When they had everything packed up, they set out to feed the hungry cowboys. The men were very grateful for the provisions and tucked into their meals with enthusiasm.
"Thanks, honey," Frank said, placing a kiss on his wife's cheek.
There were other murmurs of thanks from the happy men, but one man was missing.
“Where’s Conner?” Caroline asked.
“Probably still in the stalls,” Frank said, “I told Keith to go get him.”
Keith gave a sheepish smile, “I may have forgotten.”
Frank rolled his eyes and sighed, “I’ll bring him his share.”
“No honey that won’t be necessary,” Mary said, “I’m sure Caroline can manage, right dear?”
Caroline smiled and nodded. Frank looked at Mary suspiciously but didn’t comment.
“I’ll show her where the stalls are at,” Keith said.
Caroline packed up Conner’s lunch and followed Keith to the stalls. They walked in silence for a little while before Keith finally spoke up.
“Listen I don’t know exactly why you are here, but I know it probably isn’t to marry my brother.”
Caroline was surprised by Keith's forwardness but nodded, "Yes, that's true. I came here thinking that Conner wanted to speak to me, I had no idea that Mary set it all up."
Keith nodded his understanding, “I figured it was something like that.
They both walked quietly for a while before Caroline spoke up again.
“Does Conner always work in the stables?”
“You mean, is he always in trouble?” Keith said with a chuckle.
Caroline laughed and nodded.
“No,” Keith answered honestly, “He works on different parts of the ranch but he is usually with the animals some way or another.”
“So he likes taking care of them?”
Keith nodded, “He’s always been a huge animal lover, never did like working with the cattle. It used to bother him that we would have to slaughter them eventually.”
“He doesn’t wrangle them like the rest of you do?”
"No, he would put up a fight when Pa made him go out there so he found him another job. We found that he was a whiz at keeping the animals calm when they needed to be stitched up or dipped for ticks and parasites."
Caroline smiled, she could imagine a young Conner stitching up little animals and nursing them back to health.
He truly was a soulful person with a big heart.
"He never really told me about his family when we were together," Caroline said, completely off topic, "I guess that's what a holiday romance rendezvous is all about in the end."
"They are the best experiences in life, though," Keith said with a smile.
"So besides working on the ranch, does Conner do anything else to pass time?"
She was fishing out if he had another woman out there that Mary didn't know of. A few times since her arrival, she caught herself wondering about that, but was too scared to ask. It wasn't her business anyway.
Keith shrugged, "We always thought he would go to school and become a vet, but no, he only works on the ranch when he isn't out gallivanting on his motorcycle, and doing the Lord knows what else."
Caroline laughed, "Mary doesn't seem to like it much. So why did he not go ahead and study to be a vet?"
“I’m not sure, but I think he started to turn a little sour when he got to the end of high school. Hung out with a group of kids that weren’t on the straight and narrow and it didn’t help that his temper would always get the best of him.”
They reached the stables, and Keith called him, "Conner!
You planning on moving into the stables?"
“Shut up Keith,” Came Conner’s voice from inside.
Keith snickered and gestured fo
r Caroline to follow him inside, "Lunch is here! Figured you could use some sustenance," he called out.
The stable was very large with two long rows of stalls on either side of it with a few horses in them. Conner emerged from one of them, looking very dirty with hay stuck in his hair.
Caroline fought not to smile as she regarded him amusedly.
“What?” He snapped.
Keith let out a sigh, walked over to his little brother and pulled out a strand of straw from his hair.
"Did you fall asleep in the stalls again?" he asked, exasperatedly.
Conner rolled his eyes and pushed Keith playfully, "That happened once when we were kids, and now I'll never live it down."
"Well, how else do you explain the mess?" Keith chuckled as he pointed to Conner's appearance, "Either that you're you've been rolling in the hay," he winked.
Caroline knew exactly what that meant and her heart sunk to the bottom of her stomach. For a moment she half expected a woman to stumble out of one of the stables.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we are on a farm, Keith. It’s common for real cowboys to get dirty.”
"Says the man who tries to escape his duties, every chance he gets."
"I never!" Conner snapped, "Every cowboy needs time away from the grindstone."
"Anyways, get cleaned up, your fiancée brought you lunch."
Caroline's eyes grew wide and her jaw tensed in anticipation of Conner’s reaction to the word “fiancée”. She felt thrown for a loop herself.
What was it with everyone? She agreed to a week, only to tell him about his daughter, in no way was she planning on getting married, no matter what Mary demanded."
Conner glared at his brother, “She’s not my fiancée.”
"No, I'm not," Caroline seconded.
"Ma seems to think so."
"Keith, don't you have somewhere to be?" Conner muttered.
Keith raised his hands in surrender, “Want some alone time to your betrothed, I get it just make sure to clean up after.”
Daddy's Christmas Date: A Single Dad Romance Page 35
