Someone on the train had seen this before and knew immediately that it was cholera, the illness marked on the rocks on the first graves. He said it with such fear in his voice, that we were all immediately terrified. We stopped for a day to wash all of the dishes and linens, but we had to keep moving to avoid losing progress. Over the next few days, several more people fell ill. Some died within hours of their first symptoms, other languished for a few days with horrible symptoms. There was great debate over what to do with these people.
It was obvious that those who started to show symptoms of the illness were not going to survive. Many of the men thought that it was taking up too much of our travel time to stop when someone fell ill and wait for death and a proper burial. They wanted to leave the people behind and allow them to die. Most of the women resisted this vehemently. It was only yesterday that I had to make this choice myself.
Bradley awoke just like always and we had breakfast together. He was bringing the animals to a creek for their morning drink when he started complaining of feeling ill. I have never felt such a feeling of dread and devastation. Before the train could even prepare to leave, he had fallen into unconsciousness. I did not know what to do. We could not delay leaving for long. Stopping so many times for the other illnesses and deaths had put us behind schedule and the men told us that if we delayed, we risked the train behind us catching up and there being too much congestion at the river passes and not being enough space and grass for all of our teams.
I chose to stay behind. What else could I do? I watched in devastation as the wagons disappeared into the distance as I sat in the back of my wagon, Bradley's head on my lap as I tried to soothe him. He died in my arms and suddenly the world was empty. I have never felt so alone and helpless in my entire life. I cried until I felt everything inside of me was gone and then I fell asleep. I awoke sometime later and I thought for just a moment that it had all been a mistake. One hand on Bradley's cold face, though, broke me back into reality and I realized that he was really gone. I had been married for such as short time, and now I was suddenly a widow.
I do not even know if I know who I am anymore now that I am not Bradley's wife. I feel that I still am and perhaps I always will. How do I continue living without him here beside me? He is still in the wagon and I am alone. What do I do now? I wish I could lie down beside him, close my eyes, and be where he has gone. I pray that he is in the Lord's arms now and that if it is in His plan that I am to stay here on Earth, that Bradley may be my angel and watch over me so that I may know how to live without him.
Hannah
Chapter 4
I didn't know how long I had been sitting on the front bench of the wagon, staring into the distance, before I felt the surge of action inside me. It was almost as if Bradley was speaking to me, telling me that I needed to move, I needed to do something. All I wanted to do was sit and wait for the illness to take me, but I knew that I couldn't. Bradley would not have wanted me to give up. I had to try to continue to live for him.
Remembering how he had held the reins, I wrapped my hands around the straps of leather and snapped them lightly against the oxen's back to get them moving forward. They resisted and I felt fresh tears building in my eyes. The drops stung and slipped easily into the paths of the tears that had already streamed down my face.
I tightened my grip on the reins and snapped them a little harder.
"Go!" I shouted at the oxen, "Go!"
My voice sobbed in my throat, but I felt like I was finally building strength. I gave the reins a final snap and shouted for the team to move. The animals groaned and lumbered forward, pulling the wagon with me and my precious Bradley along behind them. I knew that there had been a day, a night, and most of another day since the wagon train had left me behind, so being able to catch up with them was not an option. I didn't know what else to do, though, but to travel forward and hope that my mind would clear and I would know what to do.
I had traveled for several hours before I started to see more remnants of wagon trains that had gone before me. The piles of belongings on the side of the road were even more poignant now and I struggled not to pay attention to the items as I drove the wagon by them. My arms burned from the exertion of controlling the animals and I felt weak and exhausted. The thoughts swirling through my mind were disorienting, and when I saw the wagon up ahead I thought I was only imagining it.
It wasn't until I had nearly reached the abandoned wagon that I realized it was truly there. Set off the road among more discarded belongings and upturned earth I could only imagine were graves that had been so hastily dug the people who made them did not even have the time to mark them. I slowed the team and drew them to a stop beside the wagon. Something drew me there, telling me to look inside.
Climbing carefully down the bench, I approached the wagon slowly. I didn't know what to expect or whether anyone may still be there. Out of courtesy, I knocked on the side of the wagon and waited for several seconds. When I didn't hear a response, I placed my foot on the step and climbed up onto the bench. Immediately I saw two people lying dead in the back of the wagon.
My hand flew to my mouth and I choked back new sobs. The two people, an older man and a young woman I assumed to be his daughter, lay on their backs, their hands folded on their stomachs as if someone had placed them there to rest. I noticed that the woman had what looked like a stack of envelopes in her hand and I felt an irresistible urge to pick them up. Perhaps they would give a name to these people, tell me who they had been in the moments before death, and maybe even let me know where I could write a letter to their families, telling them about their death and perhaps offering them some comfort knowing that they had not been completely forgotten.
Fighting the uncomfortable feeling rolling through my stomach, I stepped down into the back of the wagon with one foot so that I could lean forward and take the envelopes from the woman's hand. Mine brushed hers as I pulled the envelopes toward me and I felt that her skin was cold and hard, assuring me that she had passed quite some time before. I paused for a moment to say a pray for them, and then retreated back to the bench of my own wagon to read the letters.
Chapter 5
Dear Miss Sharp,
Thank you for responding to my advertisement. It has been quite some time since I moved to the Frontier and I have come to be very lonely. It has been my hope that I would find a lady willing to join me here in Bannack where I have settled so that I may have her company and a partner in the endeavors of life.
I am sure by now you have heard of Bannack. Even those in the East as you are have heard the wondrous stories of gold discovered in the nearby hills last July. Though I am not a gold miner, I have found great success from those who have chosen to be courageous and seek their fortunes in the gold fields. I own one of the three hotels in Bannack and feel very blessed with the success it has brought me. I have dearly hoped to have a wife with whom I can share the joys and fruits of my work.
From what I have read in your letter, I feel that we may be a destined match. With your permission, I would like to ask you to enter a courtship with me so that we may get to know each other better. If you are agreeable, please write back to me soon.
Sincerely,
Aaron Miller
Chapter 6
Dear Miss Sharp,
I was very happy to receive your letter. I was not sure how long it would take for letters to travel from Bannack to the East so I did not know when to expect a letter in return if I would receive one at all. I will admit that I visited the post office each evening to check for a letter from you. I hope that you do not feel that is too forward to tell you.
I am sorry to hear of your mother and siblings. I have heard many stories of tragic illnesses that move so quickly through the cities it seems that every family loses loved ones. Though I have not seen them since I traveled to the Frontier, I am blessed to still have both of my parents and five of my siblings still living. Two of my brothers have written to me telling me that they
plan to come to Bannack sometime soon and I hope that they do. It would be nice to have family around me again.
It does seem extraordinary that there are three hotels in Bannack already. The population has grown dramatically since the town first started and many are coming here to start businesses for the gold miners. We also have three bakeries, three blacksmiths, two meat markets, and a grocery store as well as a restaurant. Of course, there are also saloons and a billiard hall, but the hotel stays for the most part quiet and peaceful.
There are not as many ladies here as the gentlemen would like, but that is changing every day. God willing, soon more women will come, families will begin, and Bannack will settle into a more-established town. I am very proud of what the town has become, but there are many times when I miss the comforts and conveniences further East. Even after all of these years, I still feel sometimes that I am adjusting to this life. I would much rather be here, however, than further East near the war. Have you any friends who have been severely affected by the fighting?
Now that I know how long it takes for a letter to reach me, I will know when to begin my daily visits to the post again. I will look so forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Aaron Miller
Chapter 7
Dear Tessa,
Thank you for giving me permission to call you by your given name. It makes me feel that I know you so much better. I hope that you will be willing to call me Aaron.
I am thankful to hear that the war has not impacted you too seriously. I know many areas that have few young men left and many of the older men are wounded and incapacitated. I pray every day for the men still on the battlefield and that this horrible conflict will find its resolution soon. There has been enough bloodshed on this nation's ground already. It is time that we all come together and live in harmony.
I know that we have only exchanged a few letters, but I hope you understand how eager I am to have someone to share my life with here in Bannack. I hope that you will agree to join me and be my wife.
Please forgive the brevity of this letter. I am anxious to send it to you and receive your response.
Fondly,
Aaron
Chapter 8
Dear Tessa,
I am thrilled to have received your response and that you have agreed to join me in Bannack. Please know that I completely understand your worries about your elderly father. I would never want you to leave his side if you felt that it was not the right thing or that he would not do well without you. I would very much like for you to bring him along with you so that you can remain together as you start your new life. The living quarters in the hotel are more than large enough to accommodate him as well, or we may look into finding him a house nearby.
The wagon train leaves Independence in late February. I am in the process of making arrangements for you and your father to join. I have included a list of supplies that you will need. If available, please have the shopkeeper send me a telegram with the costs of the supplies so that I may cover them.
I so look forward to meeting you. I know that you may not be able to write to me during your travels, but I hope to receive a letter from you before your departure and perhaps you will find a way to send one to me from an outpost when you know when you may arrive.
Safe and happy travels, and I am even more eager to stand waiting for the wagons to arrive with you in them than to visit the post waiting for a letter to arrive.
Fondly,
Aaron
Chapter 9
I held the letters in my hands for several minutes after finishing reading them, letting my eyes continue to fall on the words and sweep them up however they did so that I could scattered moments of each message. I wished that I could experience the other side of the correspondence, reading what Tessa had said to Aaron so that I could watch them both growing in their affection for one another. Though I only held three letters, it was obvious that their relationship had grown through those messages and that they were both eager for a new life that they would share.
My heart ached for both Tessa and Aaron as I glanced back over at the wagon and thought of her lying in the back, her last few seconds of life dedicated to clutching these letters to her chest and thinking of the man who she wanted to marry; the man who she would never meet. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Bradley's hair. He lay the same way she did, lost so far from home.
Suddenly I was aware of the sound of approaching hooves. I jumped down from the bench and looked back up the road. I could see the tops of soft white canvas covers coming toward me and heard the grunting of oxen. It was another wagon train, likely the last of the season. My mind spun. I didn't know what I should do. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just stay with Bradley by the side of the road, yet I knew that there was no way that I would make it through the remainder of the journey if I attempted it alone. I needed the guidance and the assistance of a wagon train. Traveling alone, however, was not something that I would be allowed to do.
I was still struggling to come up with what I was going to do when the lead wagon pulled up beside me and looked between both of the wagons sitting by the side of the road. The man on the bench glared down at me and I could feel the suspicion and distrust rolling off of him toward me.
"Ma'am," he said by way of greeting, "Is everything alright?"
His voice had an edge of unsureness in it, but he seemed genuinely concerned. I felt my mouth open, but no words came out. I couldn't come up with any words. My grip on the letters tightened and I looked down at them. An idea suddenly came into my mind and I spoke before I fully thought about it.
"Yes, Sir. I have just gotten into a bit of a difficult situation. My name is Tessa. Tessa Sharp."
Chapter 10
"It's nice to meet you, Miss Sharp. It is Miss, isn't it?"
I suddenly felt self-conscious about my wedding ring and moved the letters in front of it as subtly as I could so that the man in the wagon didn't notice it.
"Yes, it is. I was actually on my way to Bannack to get married."
I handed the letters up to him, tucking my hands behind me as quickly as I could and slipping my wedding band off. My stomach sank as it left my finger and I tucked it into the pocket on the underside of my apron. I could see the man scanning the letters briefly and nodding.
"A mail order bride," he said.
There was a hint of derision in his voice and I felt my spine straightening defensively as if he truly was speaking about me.
"My future husband and I courted through the mail, yes," I replied.
The man scoffed lightly and handed the letters back to me. I held them to myself protectively.
"What is the problem then?" he asked.
I glanced back at the wagons.
"I was traveling with my father, sister, and…" I hesitated, "brother. They all fell gravely ill and have passed. I didn't want to abandon them while they were still living, so the wagon train left me behind."
I felt a knot in my chest and my stomach felt ill. I hated lying, especially about Bradley. The guilt swirled inside me so painfully I almost broke down that instant and confessed the deception, but I knew that would only leave me alone again. I had to do whatever I could to keep going. I could feel Bradley pushing me forward, telling me that he wouldn’t want me to give up, that I still had a life to lead and that if he wasn't here to achieve the dreams we had shared, it was up to me to do it for the both of us.
"Your family is in those wagons?" he asked.
"Yes. We brought two wagons to ensure space enough for all of our possessions."
"Henry," the man called back toward the wagons that had pulled up behind him.
A young man jumped down from one of the wagons and came toward him.
"What's the matter?" Henry asked.
"I am Silas McGregor," the older man told me and then gestured at the one he had called Henry, "This is my son, Henry."
"Nice to meet both of you," I said, the sentiment falling flat
amid the devastation that surrounded us.
"Henry, this is Miss Sharp. She says that her family is dead in those wagons."
Henry nodded and walked toward my wagon. He glanced inside and then crossed to the other wagon and repeated the look. When he turned back to his father, he had a drawn expression on his face.
"There is a man in this wagon and a man and woman in the other," he said.
"Bury them," Mr. McGregor told him and I felt my heart sink even further. He turned to me and gave me a stern look, "I want you to understand that women traveling alone is not something that generally allowed on wagon trains."
"I know," I said.
"But I can't abide by a woman being left out in the prairie on her own either. You say that you are traveling to Bannack. Since we are most of the way there as it is, I will permit you to join the train so long as you can handle your wagon on your own."
My heart leapt and for the first time in a long time I felt a flicker of hope.
"I can. Thank you."
I could hear Henry climbing into the wagon with Tessa and her father and I shot a nervous look at Mr. McGregor.
"May I have a moment with my brother before he takes him?"
He nodded and I hurried to climb up into the wagon. I knew I didn't have much time, but I needed those last moments. I tucked my hand under Bradley's and used the other to gently brush the hair away from his forehead. I touched a kiss to his cold lips and felt the tears pouring forward again.
"I love you, my darling," I whispered to him, "Please forgive me."
Brides of Grasshopper Creek Page 2
