"Hello, Louisa," he said as he came into the room just a few moments after Jessica left.
"Hello," I said, gesturing for him to come sit on the chair beside the bed, "I need to speak with you."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yes," I told him, glancing down at my hands to give myself a brief moment of calming prayer that I would choose my words in the right way to tell him how I was feeling without hurting him, "The doctor says that I am well enough to leave the clinic."
"That's wonderful news," he said, though his voice didn't hold quite the same enthusiasm as it had before.
This only confirmed that he was feeling as I was, and it encouraged me forward. I reached out and rested my hand over his.
"With that in mind, I want you to think very carefully about whether you truly want to marry me."
A quizzical look crossed his face.
"Of course, I do. That is what we have been planning. That is why you are here."
"I know. I came here because you are in need of a hostess for your events."
"Yes, but also a companion to share my life."
"Yes," I agreed, "you mentioned that, and I understand that need. It is difficult to live your life alone and wish you had someone to share it with."
"It is," he said, "but now I do."
I nodded and looked down at our hands. He held mine fondly, but it was the fondness of a friend, not of a husband.
"I made an agreement with you," I said carefully, "and I will honor it if you can tell me with complete honesty that you would not rather have a companion who you love than one who you chose out of convenience."
"What are you saying?" he asked, his voice softer than it had been any other time I heard it.
"I believe that each of us deserves a life filled with love, laughter, and joy, and that though you have been a kind and loyal friend, I am not who you carry in your heart. Your companion should be someone who is not there just to hostess your events and entertain your business contacts. She should be someone who makes you smile when she walks in the room, who you would want to read books with in the evenings, and take walks with just so that you can be beside her. That isn't me. I think, however, you know who it might be."
Mr. Akron looked at me with eyes that appeared misted with tears and squeezed my hand.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
"I'm not," I told him, "I am glad that I came here and I would not have if it was not for you."
Just then I saw Jessica step back into the room carrying a small bag from the general store. Preston, for that is how I could think of him now that I knew he would be a special friend and a member of my family, glanced over at her and then back at me. I gave him an encouraging smile and he stood.
"Miss Jessica," he said, stepping toward her, "Would you like to take a walk with me?"
Jessica blushed and nodded. I took the bag from her and watched them walk out of the room, feeling tears beginning to form in my eyes. I missed Gregory deeply in that moment, but I also missed Joseph. As if my emotions had called him, he stepped into the room and stood at the end of my bed, looking at me.
"I heard what you said," he confessed.
"You did?"
"Yes. Were you only speaking of Mr. Akron and your cousin?"
I shook my head, feeling my hands starting to tremble and the tears finally breaking free.
"No."
Joseph came to the edge of the bed and sat, taking my hand in both of his.
"Louisa, I have loved you since the moment I saw you, and have only grown in my love for you each day since. You are the one who I carry in my heart and if you will allow me, I would like to spend every day filling our lives with love, laughter, and joy."
I smiled at Joseph, feeling the significance of my own words, even more meaningful now that he was saying them, settle into my heart. I reached over to the bedside table where the book that we had read together sat. Though I had taken it with me when Joseph moved me from his quarters to the examination room by Preston's request, I had not read any of it since the last time I read with Joseph.
"Now that I am healthy enough to no longer be in the clinic," I said, gazing into his eyes, "Why don't we go sit out on the balcony together, get some fresh air, and finish this book together?"
My body still felt weak as he helped me climb out of the bed and walk through the clinic, up the stairs, and out onto the balcony that overlooked the main street. Somewhere beneath us Preston and Jessica were taking their first steps into their lives together as Joseph and I started a new chapter in ours. I knew then more than I had ever known before that Eleanor had be right about the challenges that I would face in life. In that moment, my body might have felt weakened by the trials it had gone through in the last several months, but my heart and spirit had never felt stronger.
THE END
Mail Order Bride Emily
Brides Of Grasshopper Creek
Faith-Ann Smith
Mail Order Bride Emily
The year is 1862, and Emily Barlow has never quite fit in with the rest of the high society young women who are supposed to be her peers. Raised in privilege—and expected to live up to the part now that she is old enough to marry—Emily cares more about her dream of becoming a teacher than the idea of hosting fancy tea parties and being courted by potential suitors.
Feeling that she cannot continue being told what to do any longer, Emily makes the bold decision to go out west so that she can start a school and teach the children of the Frontier. In order to fulfill her dream, however, she must become a mail order bride.
After arriving in Bannack, Montana, she is delighted to find that Chad Gaines, the man who she intends to marry, appears to be sweet, kind and caring. Soon though, she discovers that Chad is harboring a secret that could threaten their newly forming relationship and the very future she has long been dreaming of.
Chapter 1
December, 1862
Dear Diary,
I have made a decision. It seems strange to even say it that simply because it is perhaps the most important and life-changing decision that I have ever made. It is this incredible importance that has motivated me to write it here first. If I tell you about this decision first, Diary, then it is set and final, and when I tell my family they will not be able to talk me out of it, which I know they will try to do.
My family always telling me what to do and trying to control my decisions is truly not what is behind this decision, though many would probably guess that it was. It is not exactly a secret, much to the chagrin of my father, that I am a touch rebellious and would prefer to make my own way than to do what is expected of me. It is not that I want to be difficult. I do not go about my life looking for ways to go against what people want of me just for the purpose of being troublesome.
It is simply that I see the world in a different way than nearly anyone else I know. My father and mother have the same vision for my future. They want me to be obedient and find a nice gentleman to marry so that I can settle into society the way they have intended since I was born. I am expected to spend my days learning how to properly pour tea and working on making the stitches in my quilts smaller so that they are fine, delicate, and beautiful enough to adorn the beds where my guests and future children will sleep.
Can you believe that they have all of that already set out for me? My mother tells me that they have been dreaming of their eldest daughter's future since before I was even born. Of course, this makes me feel guilty sometimes that I am not the type of daughter that they envisioned. But can I truly feel guilty when I am the person that the Lord made me to be? If he made me as I am, should I not be true to that and forge ahead on the path I believe he has set out for me?
This is what I believe I am doing now with this decision I have made. I believe with all I have within me this is what I am intended to do, and it will be what gives me the life God created for me even before I was born. While my parents were dreaming of a society daughter who would elevate the f
amily name, the Lord was crafting a woman who would value knowledge and seek to make a difference in the world through education.
That is it, Diary. That is the decision that I have made about my future. I am going to go out to the Frontier and become a teacher. I have heard that there is a severe lack of schools out in the new towns and cities, and that they are always looking for teachers to come and establish new ones.
I have never taught, but I have been spending extra time with my tutor and she has told me that I will be a wonderful teacher. I hope that she is right. She had made learning even more of a delight for me, and I can only pray that the Lord will give me even a portion of the dedication and teaching skill that she has to reach out to the young ones of the West.
Though I know it will be difficult for my mother and father to accept, my desire to go out to the Frontier to be a teacher is not the part of the decision that I feel will be the most difficult for them to accept. Instead, it is the way that I will get out there that is going to be the most challenging for them, and why I decided to tell you about my plan first. If I have already told you what I have planned, I will feel committed to it and when they start arguing with me, I will be better able to stay strong.
I am going to be a mail order bride.
There it is. The revelation that I know will be nearly impossible for my family to understand. It is, however, the only way that I will be able to get out to the Frontier to become a teacher. I cannot live on my own out there, and there are no young men left that would be the type to travel out there. All of the men who I would have even considered marrying have left for the War. The ones who are still here are too soft to want to face the challenge of going out to the wild and unknown areas to build a new life.
Several friends have already gone to the Frontier to marry men out there, and the letters I have received from them since have seemed nothing but positive. One has even professed to me how much she loves her husband and how happy they are together now that she is finally out there with him. I do not know if I have quite as much optimism as it would take to think that I could fall in love with a man through letters, but I am more than open to a cooperative relationship. I need a husband so that I can actually get out to the west and am not on my own, and I know that the men out there are eager for wives to help them make their strange and unfamiliar surroundings more comfortable. I am sure that we can learn to appreciate and care for one another.
It is nearly Christmas now and I have a sense of sadness that I have never had before during this joyous season. Part of me wonders if I should wait to tell my family about my plan so that I do not ruin our celebrations. If I wait too much longer, however, I may not find a suitable gentleman before it is too late in the year to start my journey. The trip can take several months and I do not want to risk being on the trail before the next winter hits. There have been far too many horror stories about families who have lost their way or have been trapped by the winter. I do not even want to think about something like that happening.
I have not decided when the best time would be to tell them. I hope the right moment will simply show itself and I will be able to get through the conversation as easily as possible. I know it will be difficult, but I can only pray the Lord will give me the words that I need to tell my parents why this is what I must do.
It is hard to believe this is the last Christmas I will spend in this home. Will the holidays ever be the same again?
Emily
Chapter 2
The house was filled with the delicious, comforting smell of fresh popcorn and the kernels still felt warm beneath my hands as I carefully threaded the soft white puffs onto a strand of twine for the tree. Popcorn garlands always reminded me of tiny balls of snow nestled against the dark green of the boughs and I loved the smell of the kernels mixed with the fresh, bracing pine.
Beside me, my younger sister sat in her own small rocking chair, struggling with her needle as she tried to string cranberries to make her own garland. I worried that she would slip and stab herself in the thumb, but finally the point broke through the bright berry and Lily smiled up at me proudly.
"That looks beautiful, Lily," I told her, making a show out of admiring the single red sphere balanced on the large knot she had tied at the end of her length of twine.
"How many more do I need to do before we can put it on the tree?" she asked.
I smiled at her, the sparkle of her round blue eyes suddenly bringing painful tightness to my throat as I thought about how much I was going to miss when I left home. She was still so young, just five years old, and I was suddenly worried that when I left, she would forget about me. Would she be able to understand the decision that I made? Would she know that I still loved her so much?
I leaned down and kissed Lily's head, taking a deep breath of the sweet smell of her hair, and then patted her back.
"I tell you what. That will be your very special cranberry. I will put the rest on the string for you, and then we can hang it later this evening."
Lily let out a dramatic sigh as though she had been working so very hard on putting that cranberry in place and nodded.
"Thank you, Emily."
Her little hand reached into the bowl of popcorn that I was using to string my garland and she shoved as many of the warm puffs into her mouth as would fit.
"Oh, Lily," Mama said as she walked into the room, "Take smaller bites. Remember that you are a lady."
Mama settled onto the sofa beside me and sat a large basket beside her. The Christmas tree skirt that she had been working on for several weeks lay curled inside, nearly finished and ready for her to tuck it around the base of the large tree Papa had cut down two days before.
"I talked to Mrs. Andrews today," Mama said, sliding her eyes sideways to look at me as if gauging my reaction to the mention of my former suitor’s mother.
"How is she?" I asked as casually as I could.
"She says that Edmond will be returning home from the university for Christmas. He will be getting back next week."
"That's nice," I said, continuing to focus on the strand of popcorn in my hand.
"I told her that you would love to have him over for tea some afternoon."
"Mother!" I gasped, dropping my hands down against my legs so hard that several of the pieces of popcorn that I had already strung onto the twine shattered, "Why would you tell her that?"
Mama looked at me with an exasperated expression that I had seen far too many times before and pulled the tree skirt out into her lap so that she could add the final touches.
"Emily, please lower your voice. There is no need to shout."
"Why would you tell her that I would like Edmond to come over for tea? I never said that."
I was making an effort to keep my voice calm, but I could still feel the frustration building up inside me. I knew that my mother was only doing what she thought was best for me, but I couldn't stand that she would take it upon herself to extend an invitation to a man who I never wanted to see again, much less wanted to think that I would like to spend time with him socially.
"I think that the two of you have things that you need to talk about."
"I have nothing to say to him, Mama. I do not want to see him again."
"I don't understand, Emily. He is such a nice young man and would make a wonderful husband."
"I have tried to explain this to you before, Mama. He is not as nice as you think he is, and he might make a wonderful husband to someone who is willing to overlook that, but I am not."
"You need to learn to be more flexible, Emily, or you will not be able to find a man who you think is good enough. There are some things about the men in our lives that we may not like, but that we have to learn to live with."
She had lowered her voice slightly and kept looking over at Lily as if she did not want her to hear the conversation.
"Would you learn to live with those things from Papa?" I asked.
Color splashed across her cheeks and she looked down a
t her lap.
"This is not a conversation that we should be having, Emily."
"Why not?" I asked, pulling off the broken pieces of popcorn and replacing them with new pieces, "You told me that I should learn to live with Edmond's behavior. Why can I not ask you if you would do the same?"
"I have never had to make that choice with your Papa, Emily, but not all women are as fortunate as I am."
"You are so worried about me marrying, that you would be fine if I married someone who, by your own admission, would be an unfortunate husband for me? Someone who I would have to learn to tolerate?"
My mother didn't seem to know how to respond. She looked at me with some unspoken emotion in her eyes and I suddenly couldn't hold myself back any longer.
"I do not need for you to pick out a husband for me. I already have plans for marriage."
Mama's eyes widened and her mouth fell open slightly.
"What? Who?"
"Lily," I said gently, "could you please go upstairs and play for a few minutes?"
My sister seemed reluctant to leave the room, knowing in that way that little children do that something interesting was happening and that she didn't want to miss out on it. I waited until she made her way as slowly as possible out of the room and heard her little footsteps making their way up the stairs and into her bedroom before turning back to my mother.
"You have been courting someone?" she asked, her voice sounding at once shocked and intrigued.
"Not yet," I admitted, "but I hope to be soon."
"Who is it?" she asked.
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