I pull at the SUV door and climb inside. It’s hot in the car after having sat unopened in the sun all day. It stinks of the leather seats and residual sand and dirt from the beach. Bobby climbs inside and puts the key in the ignition, but he doesn’t turn it on.
“I was just wondering. That’s all. Most guys—”
“I’m obviously not like most guys you know,” he says, but I talk over him.
“Will you let me finish?”
He nods.
“I like you,” I blurt out. “And it’s not just because I haven’t been with a guy in a long time. I never would have been so forward the other night if I hadn’t felt something.”
A slow smile pulls at Bobby’s lips. “You wouldn’t be here with me now if I didn’t like you, too.”
“So you’re not married?”
A flash of pain crosses his face, but then vanishes. “No.”
I let the gut reaction that there is more to this go. “Phew. I feel better now.”
But I don’t. Because even though the pain I’d seen for a fleeting moment is gone, Bobby’s lighthearted mood has changed. He turns the key in the ignition and waits until the engine fires up. As soon as it does, I flip the switch on the door to roll down my window. The ocean breeze immediately fills the car and bathes my face. We spend the next hour riding around time. Bobby points out the things that should be important, but I don’t really care about until I see a little clothes shop with sundresses displayed in the window.
“Oh, those are nice!”
“Watch out. You’ll lose your entire paycheck in any one of these stores.”
“Oh, but they’re so pretty,” I say. “Can you pull over so we can take a peek?”
“Sure. But I think most of them are closed.”
“I can still window shop.”
Bobby parallel parks in a tight spot on the main road. I don’t know what to look at first as I get out of the car. The colors of the clothes in the windows are so vivid and catch my eye everywhere I look.
“Which one?” Bobby asks.
“Which store?”
“Dress. Which one do you like?”
I walk back down the street in the direction we just came. Bobby walks beside me as I look at all the small shops. One of them had hand-made jewelry made out sterling silver and colored stones. Another one had ceramic and pewter whaling trinkets, something I’d seen all over the Wayside Inn and in the brochure that Beverly had sent me.
We pass a gallery with old New England and sea paintings hanging in the window. I make a note to come back when the gallery is open and see what other art is inside.
“Here it is,” I say when I reach the front of the dress shop called Corrina’s.
I run up to the door and pull at it. “It’s closed.” I peek inside the glass above the CLOSED sign. The store is dark, making it hard to see all the clothes inside.
“Is this the one,” Bobby asks, standing in front of the front window display.
I walk over to where Bobby is standing and look at the display. The red sundress with spaghetti straps is so pretty.
“I’ll have to come back when the store is open,” I say. “After I get my first paycheck.”
Bobby cocks his head to one side and squints his eyes as he reads the price tag on one of the other dresses in the back. Then he chuckles. “You may want to make that two paychecks. I don’t think Aunt Beverly pays you enough to shop here.”
I groan and look longingly at the red dress. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t have anywhere to wear such a pretty thing anyway.”
“Give it time. There’s a lot of things happening on the island during the summer. I’m sure you’ll find some use for a pretty dress.”
“Yeah?”
Bobby takes me by the hand, and then leans into me and gives me a kiss on my cheek.
I have to force myself not to touch my cheek and jump up and down like some stupid schoolgirl because this gorgeous guy stole a quick kiss. On the cheek no less! But my insides hum and my cheek tingles from the feel of his lips on my skin.
“The summer hasn’t even started.”
“You’re right.”
My hand is still in his as we slowly walk back down the street toward the SUV.
“So, Bobby Callahan, how long are you planning on staying on Nantucket?”
“I’m technically on medical leave from the army. I guess it all depends on how long it takes for my leg to get full functionality so I can return to my post overseas.”
For the first time, I really think about Bobby’s injury. Everything I’d heard about fighting in Afghanistan has been from the news. But to live it must be horrible.
“Do you have to go back?”
“The military will send me wherever they want. Today I’m on Nantucket, but tomorrow I could be anywhere. I have the option of requesting a stateside transfer if I want to complete my time in the army. But like I said, it all depends on this leg.”
I stop walking when we reach the SUV.
“Why are you with me?” I ask.
Bobby’s eyebrows pull together in a tight frown. “What do you mean?”
“You’re leaving. At least, that’s what you want.” I glance down at our hands that are still entwined. “So what’s this?”
He opens his mouth and then closes it quickly, as if he’s uncomfortable.
“I’ve had that scare in my life that no one every wants, Bobby. Being told there is a possibility you might die changes things. People you thought were your friends run away from you because it scares them too. People tell you it’s going to be okay when they can’t know that. Look at Sissy. She thought she was going to be okay.”
“What are you trying to say to me?”
“I want things to be real. So I hope I’m being real with you without being foolish.”
“Okay, be real.”
“I like you.”
He grinned. “You mentioned that earlier.”
“You seem to like me.”
“Yes, we established that too,” he said, bending his head to kiss me. This time, his lips meet mine and linger for a few seconds. When he pulls back, he looks me straight in the face. He never looks away. That gives me courage.
“I don’t want to waste time,” I say. “You’re here. I’m here. You say you like me. But I know that you’re leaving soon.”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to pretend. I…I know I probably sound like some slut from the gutter.”
“Whoa! Where is this coming from?”
I take a deep breath to give me some courage. “All I’m saying is that I’m not sorry about the other night. I might have been a little upset about Sissy. Okay, a lot upset. But it wasn’t just Sissy that made me want you the other night. The way I want you now.”
I don’t know where all this bravery is coming from. I’d never been this forward with Jared. He had always been the one to take the lead in our relationship. He initiated date nights and sex and where it would be. He’d been the one to leave. But no more.
“You don’t mind that I’m leaving.”
“You said it yourself. We all face death. We’re all leaving one way or the other. The only difference is most of us don’t realize it until it’s too late.
“I don’t want to be that way. For the past two years I’ve been stuck in a moment in time that I couldn’t get out of. Now that I am, I want to live every moment as it happens and not think about the time.”
“You mean cheap meaningless sex.”
The words felt like a slap to my face, and he seems to sense I’ve taken his little stab at humor the wrong way.
“Sorry,” he says quickly.
But I turn what Bobby has said over in my mind as if it’s a bad thing and then decide, screw it. “You’re talking about a summer fling.”
“I’m leaving soon. What else could it be?”
“Something wonderful. Or nothing at all. Neither one of us knows. What I do know is that if I don’t act on this feeling I’ve
had for you since the moment we met, I will regret it. I don’t want any regrets. Is that so bad?”
Bobby lets go of my hand and retrieves his key from his pocket. The connection we had is lost. He hits the unlock button. The lights flash and the car beeps. “It’s time to head back.”
* * *
We barely make it to the bedroom without my roommates seeing Bobby.
Heather was in her room, laying on the bed as she talked—no, bitched—on her cell phone about some guy. Penny was washing dishes in the kitchen. She had her back to us as we walked through the living room to the stairway. I never caught a glimpse of Lily and didn’t even know if she was home, but as we quickly run up the stairs to my room, and then shut ourselves inside, I don’t give a shit. Not now.
My heart is pounding in my chest so strong that I’m sure Bobby can hear it. I’m sure he’d be able to feel it if he touches me. And oh, how I want him to touch every inch of me.
He hooks me by the waist and pulls me against his body.
“What do you want?” he asks.
“You.”
“You have me.”
His mouth comes down over mine in a crushing kiss that leaves me breathless. I pull at my shirt, trying to lift it off my body, but Bobby is faster. The shirt is gone and deposited somewhere on the floor of my room. I don’t care where. His wide palm cups my breast through my bra. I want to feel his rough hand against my breast, so I reach behind to my back and unclasp my bra, letting my breast break free of the fabric barrier I don’t want.
Bobby steps back and lowers his gaze to my chest. I should feel self-conscious. Then I remember that Bobby has already seen me naked. He’s seen me and wants me.
He cups my breast again and I gasp softly as he squeezes gently. He lowers his head and kisses my skin, then darts his tongue out and marks a circle around my nipple with moisture, making my nipple hard and achy.
“Take your shirt off,” I say breathlessly.
“In a minute. Let me enjoy you.”
I reach between us and cup him through his pants. He’s hard and throbbing and it only makes me want him more.
“Let me take care of this,” Bobby says. While he strips his pants off, I rid myself of my shorts and toss them aside.
I climb on the bed, not bothering to pull back the comforter and gaze at Bobby’s naked body as I lay down on top of the bed. Every chiseled line of this man is perfection. My fingers itch to touch him. I want my mouth on his mouth, on his chest, on his cock, which is hard and beautiful, and…
He’s smiling at me.
“What?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I was just thinking the same thing of you,” I say.
He crawls on the bed and hovers over me. “I don’t want a quick fuck.”
“Neither do I.”
I run my hands down his shoulder and then his chest, searching lower until my hand wraps around his penis. Bobby throws his head back as I stroke him, slowly at first and then faster. I see the quick rise and fall of his chest as he breathes hard. I love the way he responds to my touch. I love pleasuring him and I want him inside me so bad it’s more than I can bear.
He pushes my hand away abruptly and spreads my legs wide. I anticipate him cradling his hips against mine and thrusting himself inside me hard. But he doesn’t do that. Bobby suckles on my nipple and then makes a trail of moisture with his tongue down to my navel. With his fingers, he plays with my clit, making me squirm beneath his touch.
“Bobby, I can’t take this,” I say, throwing my head back against the pillow and arching my back.
His finger slides inside me and strokes slowly. “How’s this,” he says in a voice so sexy, it ignites a burning fire in me that I know will never go out. I can’t believe I’m here with him like this. I can’t believe he’s making me feel these electrifying feelings.
And then he lowers his head between my legs. I dart my head up to look at him. He’s waiting for me, lifting his face to me as he smiles.
Bobby buries his face in my crotch and I feel his tongue dart out once, twice against my clit. I grab the comforter with my fists and hold on. I’ve never had a man go down on me before. He waits for my response and then plays with my clit with his tongue, swirling it around and taking it gently into his mouth and sucking.
I can’t stand it. I feel my body explode inside. Raising my hips higher so that my crotch is against his mouth, Bobby increases the pressure and the pace of his ministration until I’m gasping for air and writhing from side to side as I cum against his mouth.
I might have screamed. If I didn’t, it was only because I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs to do it.
Wiping his face with his hand, Bobby smiles and kisses me. I can taste me on his lips. I thought the idea of it would gross me out but it’s strangely erotic. Our tongues dance together in a kiss that has the pressure in my belly building once again.
“Come inside me, Bobby.”
“Oh, yeah,” he says with a guttural groan that has me anticipating the moment when our bodies are completely joined.
And then he’s inside me, stroking my insides with his cock and moving at a pace that drives me wild. I feel his muscles harden as he moves. He kneads my breast with his hand as we rock in the bed with every stroke.
I know I’m close to cumming again. But I want to see his face. I don’t want to be lost as Bobby’s climax rips through him. He thrusts inside me hard, once, twice and then it’s too much for me. I cum again and this time I know I cried out. I hear it above the sound of the surf outside. Only when I start to float back to the present do I realize that Bobby has cum.
Lord help me. If this is what this summer is going to be like, I’m going to need oxygen!
* * *
Jenna
One thing I know for certain in this life is that I’ve never felt the way I do now. I rest my head on Bobby’s shoulder as we lay naked together in my bed. Neither one of us bother to reach for the sheet to cover our body. What’s the purpose? My skin is still slick with sweat from sex, but through the open window, I feel the cool breeze coming in from the ocean as night rolls in and the room darkens completely. The only light in the room is the small slice of light coming in from the bathroom. I didn’t realize until now that I’d forgotten to shut off the light earlier when I’d quickly changed. Now that small slice provides the only light I need to see Bobby’s beautiful body.
I feel more than hear Bobby’s stomach rumble with hunger. We’d taken care of another hunger that has me sated and unable to move. He’d chosen me over food. It’s stupid. Somehow, it brings me comfort. I don’t know why.
“What’s this,” he asks, looking at my arm and rubbing at the trail of marks across my inner elbow that I know are there, but I can no longer see in the darkness. “I have shitty veins,” I say, rubbing my other hand over the spot as if I had the power to wipe the marks away. “I have some on my thigh too.”
“I noticed,” he says with a grin.
“I hate them. They make me look like a junkie.”
“No, they don’t.”
I lift my head to look at his face. “Don’t lie.”
“Okay, you look like a junkie. But you’re not.”
“No, I’m a cancer survivor. At least for now.”
With his fingers he lightly makes a circle around my breast, touching me just hard enough so it doesn’t tickle, but light enough to send shivers through my body.
“You’re beautiful,” he says softly.
I lift my gaze to look at him again. He’s looking at my breasts. “Are you talking to me or my tits?”
His soft rumble of laughter bubbles up his chest and shakes my body as I lay there with him.
“All of you.”
I can’t hold back the sigh that escapes my lips. Rolling back, I stare up at the beams on the ceiling that have been painted white. I can’t see them as well in the dark, but I know they’re white and I know they’re there, just like the marks on my body.
&n
bsp; “I hated losing my hair.”
“Hmm?”
“From the chemo. I never realized how vain I was until all my hair came out. My eyebrows, too. I thought I looked ridiculous. Sissy taught me how to put makeup on so I wouldn’t look so sick. I wore a fake wig for a while until Sissy gave me a hat. It’s was a rockin’ hat, too. She had a different one every time I saw her. She was beautiful even when the chemo stripped her of all the things we women think are important.”
“Do you have pictures?”
“Of Sissy?”
“Of you. Both of you.”
I shake my head. I realize now I should have taken the time to pose for those pictures. Sissy was always taking selfies and wanted me to be a part of them. I didn’t share Sissy’s confidence about the changes to my body. But I’m not sure seeing Sissy’s face now would bring me the comfort I crave. But at least if I’d taken those pictures, I’d have them for when I was ready. I make a mental note to email her parents in the hopes that they will send me a few for when I am ready.
“That’s too bad,” Bobby said. “I’d love to see what you looked like.”
I don’t know why, but I can feel my temperature rising. “Why? You want to see what I looked like when I was ugly and my skin was whiter than the sand outside and I was—”
“Whoa, whoa!” he says as he sits up in bed. “You’re beautiful. There is no ugly now. And I’m sure there was no ugly then. It was only how you felt when you were sick. I can understand that. But I can also assure you that you have never been ugly. There is only beauty here.”
I can’t believe the words I’m hearing. I want to believe them. But memories of seeing Jared’s expression the first time he’d seen a clump of my hair on his hand after he touched my head invades my mind.
“Hey, don’t go there,” he says.
I glance up at him. I can’t see his face that well. Just the contours. I want to look into his eyes. I love how his eyes sparkle when he looks at me.
“I’m here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” And to prove it, I kiss Bobby on the lips. Then the cheek. Then I reach between the two of us and run my hand down his rock hard chest and to his crotch. He’s already hard. At least, he’s getting there. And the hunger in me builds again. Just be in this moment, I tell myself. Be with Bobby.
Moment in Time Page 6
