by Glen Cook
That would have nothing to do with what we were into today. That was excitement from the past. Interesting to the fans of Glory Mooncalled, but, no way. ‘‘Anyone who claims he’s Glory Mooncalled is an impostor.’’
You think so? Is he really gone? He is a folk hero. A lovable rogue. The man who steals from everybody and gives to himself, but the poor and weak just see him thumbinghis nose at the rich and powerful.
‘‘Dean’s imagination is overwrought. I’ll believe it when I see it. Whatever the story is. What does it have to do with what we’re into?’’
Nothing. As you reflected, just a bit of news that might someday prove interesting to his many aficionados.
Not just women but whole societies sometimes love the bad boys.
49
It was getting on toward evening. Despite the chill nothing was coming down, chunk-style or liquid. People were out enjoying themselves, without fear. I watched excited young people take turns ferociously racing three-wheels. Not once did I see one of those once common, sinister characters who had a stretch of his side of the street all to himself.
The why was plain. Wherever you looked you saw a guy in blue, sporting a red flop hat. Where was Colonel Block getting the money to pay them? He poor-mouthed constantly whenever I saw him.
When you thought about it, though, the Crown could use money it once spent making war. Were it so inclined. Cynical me, I couldn’t see the Royal crowd giving a rat’s ass. Excepting Prince Rupert.
The prince is a special nut. A Deal Relway fan at the highest altitude.
People followed me. Not so many as before. They had decided I wasn’t going to do anything interesting.
I hoped. I’d had about enough interesting times.
I found Saucerhead in a state of excitement, roaming around the outside of the World. Some work had gotten done today. A brace of roofers were still on the job.
Gilbey had taken my advice about offering discharges.
Tharpe practically exploded. ‘‘Sekmat on a broomstick, Garrett! What the hell is wrong with this place?’’
‘‘Excuse me?’’ And, ‘‘What the hell is that?’’
I did know what ‘‘that’’ was, not being blind. It was a flying thunder lizard. There are a dozen species out in the wilds of Karenta. Here in town they’re usually small and pick on pigeons. But we don’t see them during the cold winter.
The beast that had snatched a cat-size beetle off the unfinished roof had a ten-foot wingspan. The roofers saw that as God’s way of telling them it was time to knock off for the day.
Tharpe said, ‘‘That kinda shit’s been going on all day. Along with ghosts roaming around inside, and weird music playing. Two of my toughest guys quit. Couldn’t take it. The ones that stuck, none a’ them will go inside no more. What did you get me into, Garrett?’’
‘‘You wanted a job.’’
‘‘Yeah, but . . .’’
‘‘I don’t know what’s going on. Finding out and making it stop is why we’re here. Here’s a fact for you, though. Only one guy has gotten hurt so far. A drunk who passed out behind those pillars. The bugs got him.’’
‘‘Oh. That helps. When the carpenters say it’s way spookier now than it was before they walked out.’’
‘‘What happened?’’
‘‘Besides what I done told you?’’
‘‘Yes. Besides the exciting stuff.’’ A pair of flying thunder lizards banked overhead.
‘‘Some guys—eight, altogether—showed up for work. Two tried inside. Four went up on the roof. One did some base coat painting by that far doorway. The last guy went around yelling at all the rest. Reminding me why I got a such hard time holding that kind a job. I keep thumping guys like him. Anyways, he said more guys will show up tomorrow. And he’d sincerely appreciate it ifsomebody would dosomething about the goddamnbugs .’’
The flyers up top tipped over, one after the other. They streaked down at the roof of a nearby building. And climbed away with wiggling giant bugs in claw. ‘‘Looks like that problem could solve itself.’’
‘‘I find myself sympathetic to the foreman’s viewpoint.’’ Which wasn’t something Saucerhead Tharpe would normally say.
‘‘Where did you hear that?’’
‘‘What?’’
‘‘What you just said.’’
‘‘About sympathy? This old-timer came by this afternoon. Bill something. Said he works for you, too. He said that about sympathy on account of, the foreman couldn’t stop whining about the bugs.’’
Bill, eh? What was he up to? Looking to profit from the situation, no doubt. Any red-blooded Karentine would. It’s the nature of the beast.
‘‘Where’s Winger? Old Bones has got a mission for her.’’
Tharpe was suspicious immediately.
‘‘I was against it. He wouldn’t listen. Just said there’re some jobs for which Winger is ideal.’’
‘‘She’s over yonder. Hanging out. Not getting too much underfoot. Since she ain’t getting paid. The Remora’s been bitching all afternoon. He’s delicate. He don’t like the cold. And he can’t work on his new play if he’s out here.’’ Tharpe grinned yellow and green. A sight to behold. I can’t figure out why his teeth haven’t rotted down to the bone. He pinched the sleeve of my loaner coat. ‘‘I can see where you ain’t never gonna be cold again.’’
‘‘Blame Tinnie. That way?’’
He grunted.
‘‘I’ll be back.’’
50
I found Winger in an alcove fifty feet away, snuggled up with Jon Salvation, smoking a pipe. ‘‘Gods, woman! What are you incinerating in that thing?’’
She passed the pipe to her biographer. ‘‘What’s up, G?’’
‘‘Gee?’’
‘‘Whatever. You’re cool running. What’s the beef?’’
Must have picked up a new dialect. ‘‘Looking for work? Old Bones has something for you. He wouldn’t tell me what.’’
A winged lizard whiffed overhead. Winger observed, ‘‘I hope them bastards never figure out how to shit on the fly. Get up, little man. I found us a job.’’
The stuff in the pipe had worked its magic on Jon Salvation. He was limp. Winger hoisted him with one hand.
‘‘Whatever he has you do, try not to kill anybody. And don’t do anything to make the brewery look bad.’’
‘‘Yeah. Yeah. I know the drill. Hey. You got some weird shit going on around here, Garrett. I been thinking about it.’’
‘‘There’s a scary notion.’’ Really. Winger gets to thinking, she comes up with ideas.
‘‘Smart-ass. Everybody that goes in there, they see ghosts. Right?’’
‘‘Seems like. Sooner or later.’’
‘‘Sooner and sooner, the way them carpenters tell. Only two of them had the stones to go inside and work.’’
‘‘And? So?’’
‘‘They seen stuff. But they didn’t let it scare them.’’
‘‘Got a point?’’
‘‘Yeah. Them two was breeds. But not very. They was brothers with maybe one half-breed grandparent between them. So I was thinking maybe some of the Other Races wouldn’t react the same as people do.’’
An interesting notion. The ratmen hadn’t had much ghost trouble. I’d have to experiment. Exercising great caution. Because the human rights thugs would be all over me if I replaced a cowardly workforce with nonhumans.
Winger said, ‘‘See you in the morning, sweetheart.’’
I told Saucerhead, ‘‘I officially declare Winger only half as dumb as she acts.’’
‘‘How come?’’ Tharpe stared at the entrance to the World like a mouse watching a snake it hopes will overlook it.
‘‘She came up with what might be a useful idea. What’re you watching for?’’
‘‘Spooks.’’
‘‘Just remember that they’re not real. Whatever you see, it’s really all inside your head.’’
‘‘And I declare you official
ly batshit, Garrett. Officially a walking, talking blivit.’’
‘‘I’ve been in there. I’ve seen my own ghosts.’’
‘‘Yeah? Like who?’’
‘‘Maya. You remember Maya.’’
‘‘Yeah. And that girl ain’t dead. I seen her last week. Her an’ her old man. That guy’s even older than you. But she definitely married up, ’stead of down.’’
Meaning me, of course. Maya used to insist she was going to marry me. ‘‘Good for her.’’ Through clenched teeth.
One problem for me had been our age difference. Maya was a decade younger. Physically. It was the other way round on the maturity scale.
‘‘Who else?’’ Tharpe asked.
‘‘Kayanne. Eleanor. And my brother Mikey.’’
‘‘All right. I’ll cut you a cubit of slack. Your ghosts don’t count much. Excepting your brother. Did they sing? I hear tell some a’them sing.’’
‘‘I’m grateful. No. No songs. Who did you see?’’
‘‘Not gonna talk about that.’’ Absolute. Final.
Other people seemed to see ghosts connected with guilt. I never feel guilty. Much. Despite my mama’s effort to raise me in the faith. Other people feel guilty about all kinds of crap, all the time.
‘‘I have the perfect experiment,’’ I said. ‘‘You guys will be fine as long as you don’t go inside.’’
‘‘It gets a lot hairier after dark, Garrett. And we don’t got no place to get in out of the weather. Not to mention, no food.’’
‘‘It’s not so bad out here.’’
‘‘You spend the night with us, then.’’
‘‘I’ll get some kind of guard shack put up. Tomorrow. Look. I got to go. I need to see Morley.’’
‘‘Tell him we need some takeout. This is hungry work. And ain’t none of us seen the color of no money yet.’’
I was getting so trusting of the Civil Guard I actually had money in my pocket. I handed it over. ‘‘Sorry, brother. I should’ve thought about that.’’ I made a mental note to let Gilbey know there was no place to get a meal anywhere near the World.
Hold on.
Did I know anybody in the restaurant racket? Somebody maybe having business difficulties but who was skilled at mingling with punters from all up and down the social scale?
Sure I did.
‘‘Garrett, you got that starry look. You just figure things out?’’
‘‘No. I just got a great idea. A new business opportunity.’’
‘‘I hope it’s better than the ones Singe says you been coming up with.’’
‘‘Ha! What does she know?’’
‘‘From what I hear, enough to keep you from going down for the third time, financially.’’
‘‘Humbug. I’d be rich if it wasn’t for her, Dean, and the Dead Man spending all my money. Look. I’ll get some food headed your way. I promise.’’
I headed out without looking the World over any more closely. I nearly jogged.
The Dead Man would be irritated.
51
There’s a rule in heaven called Garrett’s Law. It says things can’t go simple and straightforward for me. If I decide to walk from the World to The Palms as night falls, the interesting times have got to be stirred up.
I slowed down after a few eager blocks. Huffing and puffing. I really had to consider getting back into shape. Fat and slow aren’t healthy in my line.
That reminded me that a true survivor has to be engaged with his surroundings. All the time. I’ve suffered more than a few knocks because I got too busy thinking to notice somebody sneaking up.
The thought surfaced at exactly the right moment. As interesting times were about to commence in the form of young folks that Director Relway had assured me would be no problem ever again.
Stompers. A whole school of the little pustules. With the crying runt leading the way, pointing and yelling, ‘‘That’s him! That’s the one!’’
Not good. My future had fallen into the mitts of folks who had no interest in seeing me enjoy one.
Where were the red tops when I needed them?
I staked out a nice piece of wall and got my back to it. I readied my oaken headknocker. The Stompers spread out in the gloaming. I wished I’d gotten a tin whistle for my birthday.
The little guy kept yelling, ‘‘That’s him! That’s the one!’’ Three bigger kids closed in. One carried a rusty kitchen knife maybe four inches long. Another had a piece of broken board. The third brandished a short sword that had spent at least a hundred years underground somewhere.
A half dozen more kids hung back in reserve. The mob was awfully tentative for having so big an advantage.
The kid with the antique sword worried me most. He was on my weak side. When he got where I wanted him I struck like lightning.
Which lightning was a little short on grease. I didn’t get close enough to touch him. But I did whack his sword hard enough to bend it.
While he straightened his blade I worked on his companions. The one with the board took off. The kid with the knife took a couple bops on the noggin and folded up.
I focused on the daring swordsman. As his blade broke right where it had bent. A judicious whack took him out of the game.
‘‘Ouch!’’ quoth I.
The rest of the little bastards had begun throwing rocks. They weren’t much good at it. Not one in a dozen missiles came close. I charged. They scattered. I headed for The Palms. They regrouped and kept pegging stones. Though there weren’t a lot lying around loose.
At this point I concluded that anyone shadowing me was not deeply invested in my continued good health. Proof was, no assistance of any sort had materialized.
I engaged the Stompers in a running fight. Failing a rock to my head, they would break up as we neared The Palms. Morley’s neighborhood isn’t one where kid gangs are even a little welcome. The night could turn lethal if they got themselves noticed by Sarge or Puddle.
Just to encourage other kids.
Sound strategy, me fighting on the run. But life didn’t roll on the way I’d calculated.
It never does.
I walked into an ambush. Eyes wide open. But I was looking back at the bad baby wolves who just couldn’t figure out how to bring the huffing old stag to bay.
The ambush wasn’t meant for me.
I did have the honor of being the Judas goat.
The bushwhackers were Morley and his crew. A show tossed together, in haste, in hopes of laying hands on one Lurking Felhske.
The Stompers enjoyed an opportunity to regret not waiting for their revenge to be served cold.
I got a chance to be cursed vigorously for springing the trap with the wrong springees.
I didn’t care. Though I did spare a black look for Singe, whose fault the makeshift ambush was.
‘‘Too clever for your own good,’’ I told Morley.
‘‘So it would seem. Or just not clever enough.’’ We were approaching his place. His was the sourness he shows only when he owes money. ‘‘Felhske is out there lurking and smirking. Having slipped the noose again. It’s becoming a challenge.’’
I had an epiphany.
Director Relway might not be interested so much in what Lurking Felhske knew as he was in showing off his power where he had had no effect before. It could be an ego thing.
Power was more important to Relway than whatever good he might do with it. Though he would chant a mantra to himself about how he had to have the power before he could do the good.
Belatedly, Morley asked, ‘‘You all right?’’
‘‘They never laid a hand on me.’’
‘‘Looks like they got you with a rock or two, though.’’
‘‘I’ll have a few bruises in the morning. Lucky me, they only hit me in the head.’’
‘‘You’ll have to replace another coat, too.’’
True. The loaner was in worse shape than the coat that had visited Morley’s kitchen.
We entered The Pa
lms through the front door. I was surprised. The place was less than half-filled. No wonder Morley was sour. They used to line up outside and wait. If business was this bad, he didn’t have to bet on the water spiders to be hurting.
I said, ‘‘I had a couple reasons for coming up here. The main one was, I think I’ve found a chance for an experienced restaurant man to set himself up good.’’ We settled at one of the empty tables, ignoring dark looks sent Singe’s way. Things had gone so bad Morley didn’t care if he offended the customers he did have.
I explained. ‘‘And you wouldn’t be walking on Weider’s toes. He’s only interested in moving more beer.’’
‘‘You might be on to something,’’ Dotes conceded. ‘‘You just might.’’
The clockwork inside his gourd clacked and clunked. It picked up speed and gathered momentum. My good pal broke out in a grin filled with sharp white teeth. ‘‘You really had an original idea, Garrett.’’
Thank you very much. It does happen.
Singe started to defend me. I stopped her. ‘‘Don’t waste the emotion.’’
Morley had discovered some implication in my idea that I’d overlooked. Nothing less would have him so excited.
Morley Dotes doesn’t get excited. Not obviously. Not where someone might see it.
I might want to figure it out. In case it fell in on my head. ‘‘Don’t forget. You’ve been appointed official caterer for Saucerhead’s crew. Until they get sick of eggplant and acorns.’’
‘‘That’s being dealt with.’’
I turned to Singe. ‘‘What’s this? How come you’re out here with him?’’
‘‘I went to visit John Stretch. I had had all the Dean and Dead Man I could take. But I caught a whiff of that strong personal odor on your back trail. So I came here. I suggested that Mr. Dotes establish an ambush along your most likely route from the World to The Palms. You being a creature of habit.’’
Really? I had to work on that. ‘‘Why?’’
‘‘No arrangements had been made to support Mr. Tharpe. You don’t think of those things ahead of time. It was reasonable to assume that you would come here once you decided to feed them.’’
