by Kailin Gow
I flushed. Logan and the Enchantress were right. I'd been letting my personal feelings – my fear of loving Logan, my fear of losing Kian – guide my decisions. I'd been blocking out the truth.
“Cheer up, Bree,” said Logan. “Enough with the guilt trip. You've been blaming Clariss' arrival on yourself long enough. Now you can see. It's not just your fight. It's all of ours. It's something bigger – much bigger – than high school rivalries. Something we can't even begin to comprehend or understand.”
“Come now!” said the Enchantress, her voice bending us to submission. “Hold my hand, children, and focus. We need time to build up enough power, enough magic, in order to push those vile creatures back to the abyss from which they came. We must concentrate on destroying them all.”
Logan took the Wolfstone from his pocket. Its glow seemed to radiate heat and strength.
“Remove the darkness,” the Enchantress began to chant. “Those who have died in battle, those who have suffered, those who are sick. Let them pass to a place of safety, and comfort. To the Beyond. Let them not be trapped here. Let their darkness not be trapped her. Let them be free.”
We began to chant with her. Somehow we knew the words; they were in our blood; our instincts told us what to say. A glow began to envelop us, surrounding us with shining magic.
“What's that!” Alistair looked out the window. “They're falling! One of them fell!”
Our magic grew stronger and stronger – so strong that it burned my skin and I had to bite my lip to resist the pain. I had to close my eyes to withstand the brightness of the glow. But Alistair's voice kept me going, kept me strong. “They're dying, Bree! They're dying. The leafy ones are, at least.”
I could feel it – feel each death, each release of energy to the beyond. In my mind's eye I could see the leaves scatter and turn into leaves once more; I could feel the bones returning to the earth and disintegrating, giving up their form to create new life and fecundity within. I could see the face of each fallen Fey – flesh instead of skulls – grow translucent and vanish into the great mystery.
“Let the soil itself relinquish its anger, and keep in its place only kindness, only love.”
I could feel Clariss' rage, her impotent pain, as the earth began to reject its cruelty, reject the blood that was spilled upon it. The creatures that were made of earth began to disintegrate, too; the blood was cast up over the earth like oil on water.
We were winning. I could feel it – we were winning. Our magic – the three of us, united at last – was working.
And then the roof of the castle crumbled in on itself. A single fire blazed and blasted open the tower like a bomb.
Clariss stood before us, in dragon form – only her beautiful eyes to remind us of the woman she had once been. Her wings flapped and her spikes shone. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the mistletoe in the gardens now charred and broken – the very mistletoe under which Kian and I had kissed months earlier.
“I should have known it was you,” snarled Clariss, turning to the Enchantress. “You're behind all of this. I should have guessed. I felt your presence the moment you escaped from my prison. Who had enough magic to let you out? Surely not that stupid young Alistair?” She laughed, a high cackle. “And surely not Breena...” Her gaze fell on me and she stopped, shocked. “What are you doing alive?” She reared up on her claws, ready to shoot fire into my heart.
“Stop!” cried a voice. It was Kian, his armor gleaming, his sword shining bright. His face was filled with passion and strength. “Get out of the way, Bree – go back to what you were doing. It's working! The Hordes are falling! I'll fight her off myself.”
Clariss let out a long hiss. “Such love,” she scoffed. “Such devotion. Such foolishness. Winter King, you are wasting your time. Why risk your time for a woman who does not love you the way you love her?”
My heart stopped. What did she mean? All my guilt and fear about Logan came rushing to the surface. But I couldn't listen. I had to keep chanting with Logan and the Enchantress.
“What do you mean, witch?”
“The Hordes!” Rodney rushed forth with a jubilant cry. “All except a few. We can fight her off....” He motioned to Clariss. “Rose!” He recognized her with a look of surprise. “Er...right. Rose – are you back?”
The Enchantress sent a jet of shining white light across the room, protecting Kian and Rodney from Clariss' fire.
“Rose is fine,” the Enchantress said, “But we haven't got the time to explain. Know that your sister is well. Together we stand. The Wolfstone has helped Breena and I harness our magic. Logan adds to our strength. We have one more spell – and then we shall fell the last of the Hordes.”
We resumed our chant. Clariss struggled and cried out, trying in vain to break down the protective shield the Enchantress had created. I could feel the last of Clariss' creatures descend into the soil, bereft of the hatred and anger that made it tick.
The howling of the wind whipped through our ears. And then there was silence. The silence that meant the end of bloodshed, the end of death.
“Do you want to face an eternity of uncertainty, Kian?” Clariss' voice started up again. “You see now the magical connection Breena has with Logan. Stronger even than with you. You and she could not have brought down the Hordes – but Logan and Breena have a connection. She will be forever tied to him. She will forever love him. She loves you because she thinks it is her destiny – but is it? Your touch caused her so much pain – and his so much comfort...”
“That was your Spell, fiend!” Kian shouted at her. “Not her feelings.”
“My spell only served to enhance what was already there,” said the Sorceress. “You had doubts about her loyalty to you – it affected your love. Ever since the mountainside, when she offered to leave you, to break your heart, to destroy your life...all for the sake of the one she truly loved. For her so-called friend. Let me tell you something, Kian. One doesn't do that for just a friend.” Clariss smiled wickedly. “She was driven by passion, mad with love. The same frenzy that has affected you – and to what end? Spending your life with someone who doesn't love you back?”
“Don't listen to her!” I cried. “You know I love you.” But Kian's face told a different story. He looked as if he had just been punched in the gut. He looked pale, wan – full of pain. More pain than I had ever seen him in before.
Instantly Clariss transformed from a dragon into the woman I knew – beautiful. Seductive. The kind of girl who could make a man believe anything. Even this.
“Kian, don't listen! She's lying to you.”
“My, my,” Clariss said. “Such a handsome man you are. You could have your pick of any one of the girls in Feyland. But instead you chose to pine after the one girl who can't truly give up her heart to you.” She put her arms around Kian's shoulders. “Didn't you ever wonder what it would be like if you were free. If you didn't feel this pain, this madness? Who in the world has ever caused you as much pain as Breena. When she was engaged to Logan? When she offered to marry him? Who knows what happened when they were under that love spell – if it even was a love spell. Who's to say they didn't...that you were the first...”
“It's not true!” My voice was hoarse from the screaming, but the Enchantress pulled me back.
“Do not listen to that shrill voice, my King!” Clariss smiled. “That is your weakness. Always listening to her. Always letting her treat you like dirt – going back between you and Logan, unable to decide, unable to commit. Did you let love consume your powers for this? You're a Fey – not made for this human weakness. Not made for this human masquerading as a Fey Queen.”
Tears were running down my face. I wanted to protest, to scream – but what could I say that Kian would believe? I already knew the truth deep down: what Clariss said was right. I had hurt Kian more than anyone else. He had told me once that he felt as if his mother never loved him. That nobody had ever loved him – or would love him. And here I was, the one person who wa
s supposed to love him unconditionally – letting him down. Making him feel abandoned, just as his mother did. Kian's greatest fear – being abandoned. And now the Dark Sorceress had found a way to turn that fear against him.
Logan howled with anger, breaking the circle as he leaped towards Clariss. “Let him be, Clariss! You know you're lying as well as I do. I wish Breena didn't love Kian – but she does. I've accepted it. Kian, you need to believe it too.”
I looked up at Logan with surprise. What was he doing?
“Snap out of it! She loves you! She chose you over me. Always has, always will. You couldn't ask for a more devoted love. How many times has she sacrificed herself for you? She gave her life for you. She's been faithful, Kian – even when I haven't deserved your trust as a friend. As a Queen, as a friend, and as a fiancé to you.” Logan's face was in anguish. “You don't know how lucky you are...any man would kill to be in your shoes. Fight her!”
“Of course he can afford to be generous,” spat Clariss. “He knows he's won. He knows he has Breena's heart in a way you can never have. You should banish him from Feyland, so that he will never again trouble you. Or your fiancé – if you still want her after the way she's treated you.”
“I love you!” I cried. “Kian, you must believe that. Surely, you don't believe what Clariss is saying.”
“I love you too...” Kian's eyes were dark with pain. “You have no idea how much. But how much can I love you before it's enough – before it's enough for you to remove all doubts?”
“It is enough.”
“My jealousy, my rage. I feel it boiling up inside me. I can't control it. And one day it will drive me mad the way Shasta was driven mad. And then I will act irrationally out of this love that has forced its way into the depths of my soul...I will fall into the darkness. I remember how I was when I thought you were engaged to Logan. I was dangerous. I can't take that again. Your love knows no bounds – you can love us both. And you do love us both – with so much love. It's one of the reasons I love you – your incredible generous heart. But I can't share you any longer with him.”
“I won't abandon you, Kian. I won't leave you. Don't let these insecurities, these doubts, get in the way of what we have...I know about your mother. I know how she made you feel. But I won't make you feel that way.”
“You already have!” Kian was crying now. “Everything that's happened since the mountains – your response to my touch, to Logan's. Everything has just emphasized what I thought was Fate is no longer sure.”
“That's crazy!” I could feel my heart breaking within my chest. I could see Logan looking at me with such pain, such compassion – seeing his heart break with mine. I wanted him to comfort me; I knew he wanted to comfort me. But I knew that the truth was clear. I couldn't have both men in my life. Not ever. I would have to choose – or lose Kian forever.
Logan snarled at Clariss, transforming into a wolf as he lunged at her. But to my surprise, she countered with a second howl, transforming into a snow-white wolf. “Bet you didn't expect that, did you? But come on, fight me, Logan! Surely you're not against destroying your own kind? After all the Wolves you sacrificed for Breena's sake?”
Logan leaped forward, tearing into Clariss' leg. She yelped, surprised, but fought back, throwing Logan against a wall. The blow of the impact transformed him into a human once again. The Wolfstone slipped from his fingers.
“No!” I cried but it was too late. Clariss already had her hands around it. A black light curled around the stone.
“Looking for this?” She smiled. “Now I can use this stone to control your boyfriend here.”
“No you don't!” The Enchantress seemed to fly forward, grabbing for the stone. The second she touched it, it began to glow with a second, white light.
And then I remembered. Three Sisters. Three lights. There was only one way to purge Clariss’ evil.
I ran forward, grabbing the stone with my left hand. A rainbow-colored light shone from my fingers.
Three branches of magic. Three kinds of light. Three sisters.
The sound was deafening – a loud, buzzing sound that obliterated all else. The stone began to rise of its own accord, out of our grasp, higher and higher into the sky – a rainbow light spreading out and igniting the heavens.
And then it shattered.
We all fell backwards, overcome by the impact. The world around us was shaking. We were blinded by an enormous golden light.
“The Wolfstone...” Clariss cried. “It's broken!”
“What' s happening?”
“The Wolf Fey magic...” The Enchantress smiled. “It's been released. Logan knew that, didn't you? It's why he let Clariss get her hands on the stone. To give us a chance – all three of us, holding it together. It's what set it off...”
I looked over at Logan. He was shimmering – his body glowing with a straight light.
“Logan?”
And then I saw it. The blood from where he'd hit his head against the wall. Silver blood.
Epilogue
His skin was smoother, softer. His tan was darker. His eyes shone brighter. Everything about Logan shone with power, with Fey magic.
“Are you okay?” I ran over to his side, and as I touched him I felt not the warmth of his Wolf touch but rather something else. Something new. Something strange – something I couldn't fully understand.
“The prophecy,” said the Enchantress. “It's what we should have realized all along. The Book of Faeyore foretold this. That only the three sisters could purify the Dark Sorceress.”
“Purify?”
I looked over at Clariss. She was staring at us, wide-eyed and confused. “Where am I?” she whispered. “And what am I doing with all these losers from high school?”
Clariss wasn't the most pleasant person in the world, but she certainly wasn't the embodiment of all evil, either. She was – well – Clariss.
And then the Enchantress began to speak with Rose's voice. “Alistair? Alistair – what happened?”
“Rose!” Alistair ran towards her, wrapping his arms around her, the look of joy on his face so profound that it made me want to cry. I looked over at Kian. But his face displayed no such happiness.
I walked up to him, my heart beating fast against my chest. I hadn't seen him look so guarded, so reserved, since our first few days together in Feyland. I touched him lightly with my fingers. The chill between us was completely gone.
He wasn't smiling, but he didn't move away.
“We did it,” I said softly, careful. “Kian – are you okay? We did it. We defeated her. We got rid of her evil, of her anger.” I tiptoed up and kissed him lightly; he received my kiss without a response. “We did it again. Just like you said we would. We lived through it. It's over. Feyland is safe – at last. And now we can go back to normal. Rule Feyland. Clean up this mess. Plan the wedding.”
Kian winced at my words. And then I knew that Clariss' words had struck deep.
“Kian, what is it? What's the matter?” I would not cry – I willed myself not to cry.
“Oh, Breena...” He ran his hands through his lustrous dark hair. “You know what I'm about to say. You know what Clariss said – it wasn't wrong. That distance, that chill...”
“A spell!” I cried. “A curse – nothing more.”
“And when you were with Logan? Engaged to him? A spell? And the connection you have with him – a spell, too? When are we going to stop? We blame magic for all that tears us apart. But maybe the problem is us. Whenever you look at him. Whenever you're near him. I still feel it – what you feel for him. What you'll never feel for me.”
“I love you! I feel so much for you.”
“But I've offered you my whole heart. Undivided. One hundred percent. Can you ever offer me that, Breena? Can you ever love me as single-mindedly as I have loved you?”
I didn't know how to answer his question. I loved Kian – I knew that. But what I had with Logan...it was a kind of love, too. Not the same kind that I had for Ki
an. But something I couldn't give up.
“You grew up together,” Kian was saying. “You understand things that I just don't – about your whole human world. Your human life.”
“What are you saying, Kian?”
He leaned in and kissed me. A kiss that filled me not with joy but with terrible pain – a pain worse than any Freeze. The pain of knowing that this was his way of saying goodbye.
“I need some time, Breena.”
“How much time?”
“I don't know.” He smiled sadly. “I am immortal, after all. Perhaps forever.”
“But I love you. And you love me.”
“Is it enough?” Kian looked at me. “Is it really enough?”
“It is for me!”
Kian shook his head. “But it isn't for me, Breena. I love you – but I cannot marry you. You know why.”
Everything went blurry; everything went black. I couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't think. My mind had imploded with the force of his words. And before I knew it I was running – running as fast as I could – down the stairs, through the gate, out of the castle...
As far as I could from the man I loved.
***********
The Fairies of Feyland continues with Logan, Shasta, Rodney, Rose, Kian, and Breena in
Book 8 of Kailin Gow’s Frost Series™
Enchanted Frost
Fall 2012
Other Series by Kailin Gow
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“a literary genius” –Kindle Obsessed
