by K. M. Scott
Her hands tighten in my hair when my tongue reaches her clit, and I suck it into my mouth, knowing what it will do to her. Above me, she moans my name and my cock twitches its need to be inside her.
I stand and kiss her, letting her taste her own juices. “That’s what I crave when you’re not here. The taste of that pretty cunt on my tongue.”
Biting her lip, she leads me toward the windows. I know what she wants. She wants to show the world as much as she’s mine, I’m hers. I step out of the rest of my clothes and pull her body to me. “Not feeling so shy anymore?”
She shakes her head and smiles not-so-innocently. “Not tonight. I want everyone to see us.”
I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her to me. “Come here. I want you on your knees sucking my cock.”
Slowly, she lowers herself to the floor and opens her mouth. I guide my cock between her lips and thrust hard so the head butts up against the back of her throat. I want to fuck her face like I want to fuck her cunt.
Hard and deep.
Her hand wraps around the base, giving her some control, but I push my hands into her hair and grip tightly to direct her as she sucks me. I love the feel of her mouth and tongue gliding over my skin while she looks up at me with those gentle eyes as I ram my cock into her.
I want to claim her. I want anyone who sees her to know that mouth is only for me. I want my cum to mark her as mine.
It doesn’t take long for just the sight of her sucking me off to get me there, and I gently slide my fingertips over her jaw as a sign that I’m about to come. She knows and doesn’t stop, taking all of me into her mouth as I shoot down her throat. Eyes closed, she continues to suck as I empty my balls into her.
Sitting back on her heels, she licks her lips and smiles up at me. “I’m getting better at that, don’t you think?”
I tilt her chin up toward me. “What does my Kristina want?”
“You. I want you inside me.”
I lower myself to the floor and pushing her hair off her face, kiss her long and deep. I love her. I want her. But even more than that, I need her. Only she can make me happy. I trace the outline of her beautiful lower lip with the pad of my thumb, and she takes it into her mouth, sucking the tip so erotically my cock strains against my body in need.
As she looks up at me with those blue eyes so sweet, I say in a low voice, “I want you from behind.” I know what I said before, but I can’t allow anything to come between us.
“Ian…” she says, pleading for me to do as she asked earlier.
“I want us to share everything. Nothing can stand between us.”
“But you did that—”
“We’ll never get past that if it’s always between us. Give me this, and I’ll give you anything your heart desires, Kristina.”
I close my eyes and think about how I felt as I stood outside his door listening to him with her. He’s right. I’ll never be able to forget that if it remains between us.
But my stomach turns at the idea of being with him like that now.
Slowly, I shake my head. I can’t do it.
“Open your eyes and look at me, Kristina.”
His words aren’t a request, but I don’t want to look at him. He’s pushing too hard, and a tiny part inside me wants to run away again. “No.”
“Don’t do this. Don’t shut me out. Give me what I asked and everything I am is yours.”
His words sound strained, as if my refusal hurts him. Slowly, I open my eyes and see the pain in his gaze as he watches me. “I’m scared, Ian. Scared you’re going to ask for this tonight and then leave me tomorrow. Scared I don’t mean as much to you as you do to me.”
“You’re everything to me, Kristina. Every fucking thing. I spent every day here missing you so much it hurt. My body ached without you. I couldn’t think about anything else. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t do anything without you. Baby, I need you so much I’m lost.”
I hang my head to hide my tears I can’t hold back anymore. “It hurts so much to know that you were with her. But like you said, you can’t know how that feels because you aren’t feeling it. Maybe I should go.”
“And do what? Run away again?”
His words edge with sharpness, and I look up to see anger in his face. I don’t deserve that anger, but if he wanted to feel it, then I’d hurt him too.
“No. If I leave, I’m going to find someone else to fuck tonight. Then you’ll know how much it hurts, Ian.”
“I told you don’t say that,” he whispers, his voice bristling with rage.
“Don’t say I want you to understand how much you hurt me?”
He slides his hands into my hair and tugs roughly before he whispers against my lips, “Don’t talk about you with someone else.”
“Not just with someone else, Ian. Imagine knowing I was going down on another man, sucking his cock dry like I do with you. Imagine knowing what you thought was so special is nothing but something so common I could find it with someone I meet in a bar.”
His fingers tremble with anger against my head, but I know I’m getting through to him. I want him to feel what I felt, so I say the words I know will seal the pain into him. “Imagine another man getting me off and feeling like I’m his, Ian.”
The hurt radiates off him. His eyes narrow and he winces as the meaning of my words sink into his mind. I don’t know if I should be afraid, but I’m governed by pain so much that I can’t stop.
“Does that hurt?”
When he finally speaks, his words are carefully measured but I know I’ve succeeded. “Kristina, I want to put this behind us. You left me. What I did with that woman meant nothing to me, but you with someone else would mean a great deal to me.”
“How much?”
“How much what?” he asks as he presses his body tightly to mine.
“How much would me fucking another man mean to you, Ian?” When he doesn’t answer, I ask the question again, louder this time. “How much would it mean to you if I fucked another man, Ian?”
I see something flash in his eyes, and he stands me up and spins me around to face the window and the outside world I so wanted to see me claim him just a few minutes ago. With his palm pressed against my throat, he whispers low and deep in my ear, “You want to hear me say I hate the idea of you with someone else, Kristina? That I’d want to kill him if I knew you’d been with him? That just the thought of it makes my fucking chest hurt like someone’s carving into me? Is that what you want?”
Staring at the reflection of him standing behind me, I see the agony in his eyes as he speaks those words, and I answer truthfully. “Yes.”
He slides his hand between my legs and thrusts two fingers inside me, making my legs go weak when he adds the pad of his thumb to press on my clit. “Then hear me now. You’re mine. Only I get to be inside you. Only I get to taste your body. And yes, I would kill him if I found out you’d been with another man.”
I can’t help but moan as he speaks and his fingers fuck me. But can I let him be with me like he was with her?
“I don’t want to hear another thing about anyone else, Kristina. Do you understand? There is no one else for me, and there is no one else for you. Now put your hands against the window and brace yourself.”
The thought of protesting—of saying no—passes through my mind, but before I have the chance to say anything, he’s so deep inside me I feel like I can’t breathe. I push my damp palms against the glass, feeling its smooth surface slide under my touch, but his hands on my hips hold me fast to him, making sure I don’t fall.
Each thrust into me pushes my body forward, and each time he leaves me I fall back, my body searching for what only he can give me. His fingers press hard into the flesh covering my hipbones, but whatever pain I feel is masked by the pleasure his cock sliding in and out of me provides.
His lips skim my neck and he says low in my ear, “I missed you so fucking much, Kristina. I couldn’t do anything but think of you and hope the pain of being wi
thout you went away someday soon. But without you, it would never have left me.”
Balancing with one hand against the glass, I cradle his cheek with my free hand as he begins to slow his movement into my body. “I missed you so much, Ian.”
“Promise me you’ll never leave again,” he says in a hoarse voice as he buries himself inside me and I feel his release flood my insides.
The sensation of him filling me sends me tumbling over the edge. Clinging to him as his cock pulses inside me, I swear to never leave him again. “I promise. Never.”
His hips slow their thrusting, and in a whisper I barely hear, he says, “I love you, Kristina. Please don’t leave me.”
Ian slides out of my body and wraps his arms around me as he gently places kisses on my cheek. Leaning back, I rest my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat as it gradually returns to normal after our lovemaking.
“I love you, Ian,” I say quietly as he strokes my hair. “And I’m sorry. I should have never run away like I did.”
“I told you we’d see one another again. I never doubted it.”
As he continues to gently caress me, I think back to that message he sent the night I left him. Had he truly never doubted that we’d see each other again? For all my belief that I’d loved him before, it wasn’t until I missed him that I realized how deeply I needed him. Had he felt that before I left?
We lie in his bed silently holding one another as the last remnants of the pain and sadness of the past week slip away. I think about how much I missed him—his touch, his voice, his eyes when he looks at me like he can’t go on without me. I don’t want to lose him again. We’re both messed up. I know that. But can’t messed up people be happy too?
I want that so much—to be happy just like we are at this moment. With my head rested on his chest, I trace my fingertip down over his lean stomach to the thin, dark line of hair that leads to his cock. Touching the soft down, I feel his skin tremble beneath my fingers and look up at him to see a smile on his face.
“Were you sleeping?”
“Not exactly, but all it takes is one touch of your hand on me and I’m wide awake.”
“Is it early?” I ask, unsure if I’ve even slept this night.
Ian leans over toward the night table to see his alarm clock and groans. “Not even six yet. Go back to sleep.”
“You don’t want me to…?” I leave my question incomplete, but he pulls me up to kiss me on the lips.
“Later. Now I just want to feel you in my arms.”
His disinterest in sex strangely makes me happy. I’d worried more than once that everything we are revolves around our physical connection, but with his refusal of me going down on him I feel like our emotional connection is at least as meaningful to him as it is to me.
“Unless you really want to twist my arm.”
I hear the teasing in his voice and smile. “Just so I’m clear on this, we aren’t just sex, are we?”
My attempt at being lighthearted falls flat. His expression hardens, and he asks, “Do you think all I care about is fucking you?”
“No, no,” I protest, but it’s too late. I’ve ruined everything. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”
Taking my face in his hands, he cradles my cheeks and kisses me on the tip of my nose. “I don’t want you to ever think that. Tell me you know that.”
I nod. “I do. I didn’t mean to ruin our nice time together. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Kristina. You didn’t ruin anything. I guess it’s natural to wonder if all we are is sex since it’s so incredible between us.”
“It’s just never been like this for me before with anyone.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Ian’s lack of mention about my sexual abilities makes me want to ask if he’s had a relationship like this before, but I’m afraid to know the answer. What if sex is always like this for him and I’m nothing special?
I nuzzle his neck and silently hope that our time together is important to him, inhaling the earthy, masculine scent of his skin. He smooths his hand over my hair and down my back, and as if he can read my mind, whispers in a deep voice, “No one has ever made me crave them like you do. I’m lost when you’re not around, but I’m only slightly better when you’re next to me and I want so fucking bad to be inside you.”
The way he professes his need for me makes me want to please him. I want him to love me like no man ever has before. Like every man always said they did.
Ian stirs under me, gently pushing me off him as he slips out of bed. Still naked, he flashes me a smile. “I’ll be right back. I want you to hear something.”
My gaze is fixed on his very grabbable ass as he walks across the bedroom floor to head out to the living room. Lean and strong, his body looks like it’s built to please a woman. A gentle ache settles in between my legs as I remember how his ass felt as I squeezed it just before my orgasm tore through me the last time we made love.
As I daydream about Ian’s body, he returns with his laptop and slides back into bed next to me. “I want to read you what I wrote yesterday.”
“Okay. What part is this?”
As he types something, he looks down at me next to him and smiles. “The end.”
Surprised, I sit up and snuggle his arm. “You finished it?”
“Yeah. I couldn’t write the whole time you were gone, but as soon as you began to text me, it was like I couldn’t stop the words from coming.” He kisses the top of my head and adds, “I couldn’t do it without my muse.”
Just hearing those words makes my heart fill with joy. I’m still his muse and he needs me. Nothing could make me happier at this moment. I look up at him and gaze into those nearly jet black eyes so intent on the words he’s written as they wait for him on the screen.
“I can’t wait for you to hear this. I created a male character halfway through, so I had to double back to the beginning, but as I reached what I thought was the end, something felt like it was missing, so I had his character end the book instead of Kate’s.”
“What’s his name?”
“Sean.”
“This sounds vaguely familiar to someone I know. Don’t you think?”
I know what he’s done. His story about me has morphed into the story of us. And I love him for it.
The sheepish look on his face charms me. Pressing my cheek to his shoulder, I lean over and curl my arm around his as he begins to read me the words he’s given to Kate’s hero, Sean.
“I put the two of them in a situation where they had to do without one another, and until you texted me today, I couldn’t find the words I needed to bring them back together. They just sat there, lonely and alone, and then I suddenly knew what to say. So here’s their reunion I wrote before I asked you to come back to me.”
She opens the door, and for the first time in what feels like months I see her. Her deep blue eyes that make me feel like I could get lost in them and be happy for the rest of my life. Her gentle smile that belies the sensual woman I know her to be. Her body, the taut and toned muscles my touch remembers that make my cock hard even before I know if she’ll take me back.
Her delicate mouth—those lips that have taken me to places of ecstasy like no other woman has ever done—she opens her mouth to speak, but for a moment says nothing. Has she changed her mind?
“Sean.”
She speaks my name like a gentle plea, and I step forward to take her into my arms, needing to feel her next to me. Resting her head on my chest, she whispers, “I missed you so much.”
I caress her back as she quietly sobs against me. “I’m sorry, Kate. I’m sorry I fucked up.”
“Tell me you can accept who I am,” she begs, looking up at me with a look in those gorgeous blue eyes that practically breaks my heart in two. “Tell me what I am is enough.”
Cradling her face in my hands, I struggle to choke back the emotion she creates in me. I’m supposed to be the man, the one s
he turns to when she needs someone strong to hold her up, but I left her when she needed me most. What kind of fucking man does that?
“Baby, I love every part of you. The good part that makes me believe in the sweetness life can offer when you find the person you’re meant to be with. The bad part that other men can’t handle but I can’t do without. I love all of you.”
Kate closes her eyes and hangs her head. “You deserve someone who’s more good than bad. That’s not me.”
I can’t let her torment herself like this. She deserves to know how much I need her. Tilting her head so she looks up at me, I kiss her softly, like a whisper, and begin saying what I should have said the moment I knew how much I loved her.
“My beautiful, broken girl, you can’t see what you are to me? I need you more than the air I breathe or the food I eat to survive. The whole time you weren’t by my side, I felt like a part of me was missing, like someone had taken away a part of my being and left a gaping hole nothing could fill. You’re everything to me.”
“Why if I ruin that?” she asks, the fear filling her eyes.
“I won’t let you ruin what we have, baby. I’ll be strong enough for both of us. I promise. I need you too much to lose you.”
Ian stops reading and turns to look at me. “It’s a first draft, but I like how it’s turning out.”
Sitting up, I kiss him deeply, trying to convey how much I love what he’s written. When I pull away, he smiles at me and I know he understands.
“So they live happily ever after?” I ask, hoping Kate and Sean get that at the end of their story.
He shakes his head. “Not quite yet. I thought I only had one story in me, but as I neared the end, I realized I didn’t want to finish their story, so there will be a Silk Two.”
“Another book? Will I be your muse for that one too?”
