by Nikki Ashton
“When was the last time you had it waxed?” Mandy asked.
“Ooh no,” I cried. “I’ve never waxed down there. I had my legs done once and was asked not to go back because I screamed so much and slapped the girl across the head. What?” I said as Mandy gasped. “It was a natural reaction.”
“It’s not that,” she replied. “It’s the fact that you’ve never had it waxed. Oh my God, how are we even friends? I can’t be friends with a woman who has her frizz on show on the beach.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous. I shave it when I go on holiday.”
“You go on holiday with a stubbly bush. Shit, I’m booking you into the salon tomorrow.”
“To get it waxed?”
“No, to give it a perm and a colour – of course to get it waxed, you idiot.”
I shook my head and wagged a finger at her. “Nope. Don’t you dare. I’m happy with shaving and hair removal cream, thank you.”
Mandy gave an exasperated groan. “Listen, we don’t have time for this now. Have you got some nail scissors?”
“Yes, why?”
“Get them and you bloody owe me for this.”
“For what?” I asked, taking my nail scissors from a pot on my dressing table.
Mandy snatched them from my hands and knelt in front of me.
“Mandy!” I screamed, as she peered at my fanny. “What are you doing?”
“Checking the bloody damage before I give you a short back and sides.”
“No way.” I slapped a hand over my crotch. “You’re not touching my pubes.”
Mandy knocked my hand away. “Oh yes I am. Now keep still.”
“Mandy!”
“Oh shut up and let me concentrate.”
I knew when I was beaten and this was one of those times, especially when I heard the snip, snip of the scissors. When she’d evidently finished one side, Mandy shuffled on her knees and started on the other.
“Oh fuck!” she suddenly screamed, making me jump.
“What’s wrong? Have you cut me? Please tell me I’m not bleeding.”
I looked down in trepidation, as Mandy looked up at me with a mixture of sympathy and horror written all over her face.
“What?”
“I’ve found a grey pube. I’m so sorry.”
My heart sank and I felt as though my life was flashing before my eyes. I saw my first kiss with Carl, our breakup, Ryan, my make up with Carl, our wedding, my babies being born, Carl and I drifting apart – this was the beginning of the end.
“I can’t go on a date with Dex,” I whimpered. “What if it goes further than one date? I can’t let him see that I have grey pubes. I’ll have to have a Brazilian wax, I can’t Mandy, it’s agony. No, I’ll just have to cancel the date.”
“Stop panicking, it’s not a problem, honestly.”
“It is. I have grey pubes, Mandy. It’s awful. I’m officially old.”
Mandy stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Honestly, it’s a good thing. Think of it this way, he’s a silver fox and you’re a silver pussy. It’s a match made in heaven.
Dex
When I pulled up outside Katie’s house, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long damn time – nerves. I didn’t want to mess this up, because I liked this woman and I already knew that I wanted to take her on more than one date. I reckoned that Katie felt the same, nervous I mean, because I’d barely got to the front door before it was pulled open and she was standing in front of me.
“Hi,” she said a little breathily.
“Hey, Katie.”
I looked her up and down. She looked stunning; her hair was down, just past her shoulders, her make-up was fresh and pretty, and her legs looked amazing in the tight jeans she was wearing.
“You look lovely,” I said, leaning in to kiss her cheek.
“Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.”
She ran a hand down my pale blue button down, stopping just below my pecs. I knew she wasn’t trying tease me, but an inch further and I may have been embarrassing her with a bulge in my jeans. That was what she did to me, and I had no fucking idea why. Yes, she was pretty and funny, but my attraction to her felt so much more than that, and I couldn’t explain what it was or why I felt that way. I just wanted to look after her and be in her company, because it felt warm and right – and now I sounded like a fucking pussy.
“Is what I’m wearing okay?” she asked, her brow furrowing. “Only I wasn’t sure whether to wear a dress, or -.”
“Katie,” I said, grabbing her hand. “You look beautiful and your outfit is perfect.”
With a shy smile, she took my offered hand and followed me to the car.
“Wow,” Katie said, looking around the bar. “It’s lovely in here. I’ve been past a couple of times, but never been in.”
“It’s my first time, too,” I replied, holding out a chair for her at the table we’d been shown to. “I heard real good things about the food.”
“I can’t remember the last time I went out for a meal that didn’t include little pots of sauce and chicken nuggets.”
“Your kids like burgers then?”
I sat down opposite her and picked up the wine menu.
“Yeah, unless it’s pizza, oh or maybe Nando’s,” she said with a sigh.
“You’re not a fan yourself?”
“Not really, but trying to persuade them my chicken with roast potatoes and vegetables is much tastier is an ongoing battle.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said, dropping the menu to look at her.
“Maybe I’ll make it for you one day.”
The little blush that pinked her cheeks was real cute and it made me smile, big.
The waitress came and took our drink and food orders and we continued our conversation. It was fun and light and by the time we’d finished eating, we’d barely stopped talking.
“Can I ask you something?” Katie said, her eyes scanning the room.
“Yeah sure. As long as it’s not my bank account details, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
She smiled and took a deep breath. “So the woman that was in your car with you.”
“Debbie.”
“Yes, well are you still buddying her?”
I burst out laughing at the way she’d described my relationship with Debbie. I guess it was better than asking if I was still fucking her when the mood took me, but how did I answer that? Tell her no because she, Katie, took up all my head space and then come across as a clinger, or tell her yes and risk Katie not wanting to see me again, because I sure wouldn’t if a date told me they were keeping their fuck buddy on standby, just in case. But this was our first date, we might hate each other by the end of it. I decided to go with the tactful answer and chose my words real carefully.
“Debbie and I were only casual. I hadn’t seen her in at least three months before the other night. So the answer is, if I’m dating someone, then I don’t mess around. Wasn’t brought up to disrespect women and I ain’t starting now.”
My answer seemed to appease Katie, who gave me a single nod of her head. “I do have another question,” she said with a grin.
“Okay.”
“So, as long as you don’t think it’s rude,” Katie said, playing with the stem of her wine glass. “How old are you?”
I laughed and took another drink of my beer that I’d been alternating with water throughout dinner.
“Don’t let the grey hair fool ya, darlin’,” I said with a wink. “I might be much younger than I look.”
“Oh God,” she groaned. “You’re not in your thirties are you? Please don’t tell me I’m cradle snatching.”
“I’m guessing your age because of how old your kids are, so unless you were a real young mom, no you’re not. I’m forty-six.”
“Phew,” she said, sitting back in her chair. “That’s a relief, you’re a year older than me. Although, you don’t look that old.”
“What, even with the hair?” I
pointed at my head and frowned.
“You look after yourself and the hair is very distinguished, which is quite unfair really.”
“How so?”
“Because if I let my hair go grey, I’d look like my grandma. You look really se-.” She stopped herself and the pink cheeks were back. “Well, let’s just say, it suits you.”
“Thank you, but I think you should know, you look real sexy too and you really don’t look forty-five. I’d have said a least five or six years younger.”
The pink now turned crimson.
“Have you been grey long?” she asked, obviously changing the subject to avoid her own embarrassment.
“I started going quite young, maybe thirty, thirty-one. I reckoned I’d embrace it and go grey gracefully.”
We paused talking as the waitress took away our dirty dishes, and poured Katie another glass of wine, but as soon as her back was turned we started up again.
I learned all about her kids, the fact that her ex, Carl, had a new, young wife and a two-year-old kid and that their divorce, four years earlier, had been a mutual decision.
“There wasn’t anyone else involved? The new wife?” I asked, wondering why the thought that he might have cheated on Katie actually mattered to me.
“No. Carl was a workaholic; a little self-centred and walked around wearing blinkers as to how we were drifting apart, but he wasn’t a cheat. That I’m pretty confident about. No, he met Sophie about six months after we split.”
“How do you get on with her?” I leaned forward, wanting to see more of her beautiful, pale blue eyes. “You like her, your kids like her?”
“She’s lovely actually,” Katie replied, rolling her eyes. “It’d be so much easier if she was a bitch and I hated her, but she isn’t. She adores Carl and is really good with my kids, especially Annie.”
I saw a little disappointment pass over her face and I figured the new, much younger wife, getting along with her teenage daughter made Katie feel shitty.
“I reckon they’re more like sisters,” I said, hoping it might make her feel better.
“Maybe. Annie always did want a sister, so she’s kind of got two now, I suppose.”
A little smile came back to her face and I felt an ease settle over me. I didn’t like the thought of her being upset.
“How about your boys? How did they take the divorce?”
“Charlie misses having his dad around, but he stays there a couple of nights a week as his school is just a few streets away. Isaac, my eldest, well I’m not so sure about him. He’s barely said anything about the divorce, either when it happened or since. He’s become a little distant from Carl, but I put that down to the fact he’s nineteen now and wants to be drinking with his friends more than he wants to go Go-Karting and watching football with his dad.” She gave a soft smile. “To be honest though, the boys are too laid back to care about anything, unless it’s got the letters PS in front of it.”
“PlayStation boys, hey?”
“Yes,” she sighed, with a shake of her head. “I’ve tried to get them to go outside and breathe in some air, but ‘PS is everything, Mum’.”
I laughed as she mocked her sons. “They seem like good kids though.”
“Oh they are. We argue like all families, but generally, we’re happy with each other. Charlie does like to play football and Isaac loves drawing, as you know, so I’m not too concerned. So, what about you, do you have any children?”
I shook my head and poured myself some water, then topped up Katie’s wine glass.
“Nope. Never married. Thought about it a couple of times, first time I was just a kid and it didn’t work out. The second, well, it just wasn’t right.” As well as my high school girlfriend, I had nearly asked Cherry to marry me, but when I thought about her saying yes, I felt a little freaked. I knew then our relationship wasn’t as it should be, and so that was when I started to think about leaving.
“You ever wish you’d got married and had kids?” Katie asked.
“I don’t know. Sometimes I do, when I see dads with their kids, or when families are all out together, but I’ve had a good life, so maybe it just wasn’t what was planned for me. What about you? You wished you’d had more than three?”
Katie’s eyes widened. “God no. I adore Charlie, he’s my baby, but I was happy with two. Charlie was our little surprise. Don’t ask me what happened, because I have no clue, all I know is I didn’t get my period and started being sick in the morning.”
“What,” I laughed. “You’d had two kids and didn’t know how you’d got pregnant with the third?”
“No,” she cried, joining in with my laughter. “I know exactly how it happened, I just don’t know why. I was very strict on taking my contraception.”
I chuckled and shook my head. I’d not been on too many dates where we discussed the girl’s menstruation and contraception in a couple of sentences.
“I’m so sorry,” Katie gasped. “That is not appropriate conversation for a first date is it?”
“Hah, you read my mind. Not that I think it’s inappropriate, just that we’re even discussing it.”
She dropped her head in to her hands and groaned. “I knew I’d cock it up. I told Mandy I’d cock it up.”
“Mandy, your friend at the gym?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” she replied, dropping her hands. “She called around earlier. Well, I asked her to come to the house actually. I was panicking about what to wear.”
“And she gave you some advice?”
“Yeah, although if I’d have taken a deep breath and calmed down, I’m sure I would have come up with the same outfit.”
I looked at her intently and blew out a slow breath. “Well, whoever’s choice it was, you look beautiful.”
Katie’s breath hitched a little and she sat up straighter in her chair. Her fingers clutched tightly to her wine glass and I knew she was affected by me – just as much as I was by her.
“Thank you for what you did for Isaac,” she said, her gaze dropping to the table. “He’s been floundering a little this last year. Working in the record shop, not really doing much with his life. Since you bought his drawings, I’ve noticed he’s been working at his drawing board again.”
“He hadn’t drawn anything for a while?”
She shook her head. “No, not for quite a few months. But, when I went in to the boys’ room today, and I saw his pencils were out and there was fresh paper on the board.”
“That’s amazing because he’s real talented. Listen, don’t say anything yet, but I’m thinking of getting him to do some more stuff for me. I usually do a lot of our designs, I like to keep our portfolio fresh and up to trend. Heaven & Ink is popular because we’re known for our unique designs. We don’t do tribal tattoos, arm bands, or names, not that there’s anything wrong with those, if that’s what you want, but you won’t get those done with us. Because we’re so unique, we’re real busy, and running the place means I don’t get much time, so maybe Isaac can help me out with that.”
“Oh my God, that would be fantastic, but only if you really need him. Please don’t think you have to.”
“I don’t do anything I don’t want to do, darlin’. He’s a talented kid and if Sam Daniels hadn’t given me a break when I was Isaac’s age, I wouldn’t be doing what I do today.”
“Is he the man who taught you how to be a tattoo artist?” Katie asked, leaning in, interest glowing in her pale blues.
“Yep, he sure did. I didn’t want to go to college, didn’t interest me, but my dad said I couldn’t bum around. So, it was either get myself a job or go and work manufacturing copters with him.”
“And you didn’t want to do that?”
“No,” I said on a long breath, remembering the fights I had with Dad about it. “Couldn’t stand the idea of working in a factory, when all I wanted to do was sit outside and draw.”
“Tattooing isn’t exactly an outside job.”
“No, but it’s drawing, it’s doing
art, and that’s good enough. I get the greatest buzz when I see my designs come to life, whether it’s me that’s inked them or someone else. Lucky for me, inking your body has become real popular over the last twenty years, particularly the last ten or so.”
“I think we have David Beckham to thank for that in this country,” Katie said with a tinkling laugh. “But, if the studio is so busy, why don’t you tattoo any longer? You said at the gym earlier you don’t do much these days.”
“Call me an egotistical dick, but since I was featured in a magazine article I became kind of famous in the tattoo world, that means if someone requests me, I can add more to the price. Plus, if I inked full time I’d be working twenty hour days doing that and running the business.”
“And at our age we need to be slowing down, don’t we.”
Katie gave me a cheeky grin, making me throw my head back and laugh.
“Yeah, I guess so.” I replied. “So, you think maybe Isaac might like to come and see our set up, see how things work?”
Katie’s eyes went wide. “Really? You’d let him come and have a look around. God, he could think about applying to tattoo studios for apprenticeships if he liked it.”
“I’d say it’s got a lot more legs than a record shop, that’s for sure.”
When I saw the excitement for her son on Katie’s face, an idea came to mind. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been thinking of it recently, but in that moment, I was determined to make it work.
“Okay, so here’s a thought. I need someone around the place to do all the dirty work; cleaning workstations, sterilizing equipment, ordering stock, standing in on reception, that sort of thing. It wouldn’t be a great amount of pay, but do you think Isaac would be interested?”
Katie gasped. “God yes. I’m sure he would.”
“He could maybe make up some money by doing designs. I might even let him join the consultation process.” The more I spoke about it, the more the idea was forming in my mind, and I knew it was a damn good one. “There’s only Jethro who’s able to draw a design apart from me, the others are freaking good, but can’t really draw.”
