by Noelle Adams
“Katie, baby,” he murmured against her skin as he worked on ridding her of her pajamas so he could press little kisses all over her soft body. “This is what I want. You are what I want.”
“I want you too,” she gasped, arching up as he tended to one of her nipples with his tongue. “Logan, I want you so much. I didn’t mean to. I thought I… didn’t. But I just… I just can’t help it. I… I… only want you.”
Now his heart was throbbing as much as his blood, his groin. She did want him. This afternoon hadn’t simply been an outlet for her sexual frustration.
He knew—he knew—this was right. This was exactly where they were supposed to be.
She was as responsive to his touches as she’d been that afternoon. She was almost writhing with pleasure and frustration as he stroked and suckled. Her cheeks were deeply red now, her hair was mussed, and she was biting her lower lip so she wouldn’t cry out too loudly.
They were in his parents’ house, after all.
He was so aroused and overwhelmed by feeling that he knew he wasn’t going to make it very long. Her little hands were pulling at his clothes, so he helped her get rid of them so that he was as naked as she was.
He’d gotten a condom from his room before he knocked on her door, so he pulled it out of the pocket of his trousers before he dropped them onto the floor.
Her eyes were wide and deep and almost wild as she watched him. When he’d rolled the condom on, he positioned himself between her legs.
She was just as needy as he was. She pulled him closer, pressed her hips up to help him sink inside her more quickly.
Then they were moving together, her arms and legs wrapped around him. Hot. Hungry. Holding nothing back. He kept kissing her for as long as he could focus, and then he grunted softly as they worked up toward orgasm. He managed to hold out long enough for her to find release in gasps and shudders before he let go of his control completely.
He was still giving her clumsy kisses as he came down from his powerful release. He was hot and sticky, and his arms and legs felt weak.
And he also felt better than he ever had in his life, like he’d finally found his perfect home.
Katie was clinging to him as if she couldn’t let him go.
“This isn’t wrong, baby,” he murmured against her neck. “This is exactly the way we should be together. It’s still us. Just more of us.”
“I know.” Her fingers were tangling in his hair now. “I know.”
He let out a relieved exhale. “So… so do you think this is what you want?”
“It is. Logan, it is. I want you too. So much.”
He groaned as the months of desire and patience and frustration and aching need all came to a delicious fruition. He kissed her slowly, deeply before he reluctantly pulled away to take care of the condom.
She reached her arms out to him afterward, and he pulled her against him, covering them both with the sheet and blanket.
He was so exhausted he wasn’t sure how long he could stay awake.
It turned out it wasn’t very long.
He’d fallen asleep before he could say anything else.
Nine
Katie fell asleep in perfect peace and happiness—the kind of satisfaction she’d almost never felt.
When Logan had showed up at her bedroom door and admitted he wanted her, everything had been perfectly clear.
He was what she wanted too. And telling herself she didn’t want a relationship was ridiculous when she loved him so much and she could be with him this way.
But she woke up at about three in the morning with an ache of anxiety in her chest. It was almost completely dark in the room, and Logan was sleeping beside her. She could hear his steady breathing, and she loved the sound of it.
She wondered what it would be like to wake up beside him every night.
For some reason that thought just tightened the anxiety in her chest even more painfully.
It wasn’t supposed to feel like this. She was supposed to be overwhelmed with joy.
Why was she still so scared?
She got up to go to the bathroom, and then she picked up her phone in an automatic gesture. Noticing she had a voice message, she took the phone into the bathroom, cracked the door so the light wouldn’t wake Logan up, and listened.
It was her client Marla. She was in tears again.
The message was four-and-a-half-minutes long and as heartbreaking as anything Katie had ever heard. She stared down at the phone afterward, frozen with the vision of herself thirty years from now, broken this way by Logan.
Logan wasn’t like Marla’s husband. He was as good a man as she’d ever known.
But Marla had probably though the same thing about her husband when they’d first gotten together.
And Katie couldn’t stand it.
She just couldn’t stand it.
She slumped to the floor of the bathroom, leaning against the side of the tub, her phone still in her hand.
Logan found her that way a minute later when he pushed open the cracked door. He’d pulled on his boxers but wasn’t wearing anything else.
“Katie?” he asked hoarsely, stepping into the bathroom, his expression becoming urgent as he processed her position. “Katie, baby, what is it?”
Katie was shaking. She could barely make herself speak. “I… I don’t know if I can do this.”
Logan knew exactly what she meant. He knew as soon as the words were said. She watched the transformation of his expression.
He’d been so incredibly happy earlier, during their lovemaking and afterward. She’d been able to see exactly how happy he’d been.
And now she was taking it away without warning.
For a moment she thought he might actually turn around and leave the bathroom. She was rejecting him, after he’d totally opened himself up to her, stripped himself naked, given himself to her completely.
If he’d left her then, if he’d walked away, that might have been it. They might never have been able to work things out between them—even to maintain their old friendship. Both of them would have been hurt too much.
He didn’t leave though. He squared his shoulders and took a step closer to her. “I know you can do this, Katie, if it’s what you want.”
“It is what I want,” she admitted, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. “I want to be with you so much. But I’m still so scared. Why am I still scared?”
Her crying affected him dramatically. He knelt down to the tile floor beside her. “It’s okay to still be scared.”
“No, it isn’t. You’re… you’re too good for me to still be scared. It’s not right. It’s not fair to you.”
He adjusted his position so he was leaning against the tub, and then he pulled her over onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her. “You’ve spent years scared of relationships, Katie. All you see is broken ones. Even when you were a kid, with your parents. It wouldn’t be normal or… or human for you to miraculously put all that aside, just because we want to be together now. You’re allowed to be scared. You’re allowed.”
For some reason his quiet words transformed the painful ache in her heart.
Maybe he was right.
Maybe it wasn’t a sign of her complete incapability of being part of a healthy relationship.
Maybe it was just being human.
Maybe it was okay that she was still so anxious about this.
“I don’t care if you’re scared, baby,” Logan murmured, stroking her loose hair, holding her like she was the most important thing in his world. “It’s not a betrayal. You can be as scared as you want. As long as you… you want to be with me this way. As long as you want me.”
“I do.” She pulled back so she could meet his eyes. “I do, Logan. I didn’t know until today—somehow I just didn’t know until now—but you’re exactly what I want.”
He exhaled loudly, and she realized she’d said exactly the right thing. He pressed a kiss against her mouth. “So if you get scared, ju
st tell me, and we’ll work it out together. Okay?”
“Okay.”
They were silent for a minute, just holding each other. Then Logan murmured, “I love you, Katie. You know that, right? I love you as more than my friend. I love you as my… my everything. And once I make a commitment, I never let it go. I’m in this all the way. Forever. You never have to worry about my feelings changing.”
It was the same thing his mother had told her in the story about his dog when they were weeding the garden earlier, and Katie knew it was true.
Logan wasn’t going to break his word. His heart would never change.
She’d always trusted him in everything else. She could trust him in this too.
She’d relaxed in his arms, and she realized the ache in her chest had eased too.
“Why are you smiling?” Logan asked.
“Because I’m not scared anymore.”
Now he was smiling too. “Good. I’m not scared either.”
“So maybe we should get up off this floor then. It’s kind of cold and hard. Will you take me back to bed?”
And that was exactly what Logan did.
***
Katie woke up incredibly happy the following morning.
She didn’t believe in miracles, but that was how the sunrise felt.
Despite their late night, she and Logan managed to get up in time to walk on the beach to watch the sunrise over the water in a splendor of golds and reds. Katie was practically giddy as she slowly processed everything that had happened the previous day.
It felt like her life, her heart, had been made new, but it hadn’t all happened in one weekend. It had happened over months and years of knowing and falling in love with Logan. Their relationship wasn’t based on temporary desire or feeling.
It was based on real love, real commitment.
And she somehow knew this morning that it could last.
It would last.
When they returned to the house, Sandra and Jason were up and drinking coffee in the kitchen.
Katie and Logan were holding hands as they walked in to join them, and clearly no further explanations had to be made about the change in their relationship.
Sandra’s eyes were soft and pleased as she smiled at them. “Are you hungry? I can make some breakfast.”
“Breakfast sounds great. Thanks.” Logan pulled out a stool for Katie, and then he sat down beside her at the kitchen bar.
Their conversation was light and friendly, and no one mentioned that Logan kept reaching out to rub Katie’s back or stroke her thigh.
It was like he couldn’t keep his hands off her, and Katie didn’t mind at all.
“I’m sorry you have to leave so soon,” Sandra said as they were finishing up. “When do you think you can come back for a visit?”
“We’ll get back as soon as we can,” Logan said.
“I have some vacation time coming up,” Katie added. “Maybe we can visit for longer next time.”
“Perfect.” Sandra was beaming. “And of course you’ll have to have the wedding here.”
“Mom,” Logan muttered.
“Sandra,” Jason said at exactly the same time.
Katie just laughed.
Something had definitely changed because the thought of marrying Logan didn’t scare her—at least not at this moment.
In fact, she really liked the idea of it.
Ten
The following Friday, Logan drove out to Katie’s place after work.
He’d had a lot to do that day, so it was almost seven by the time he got to her little house.
She must have had a busy day too because she was just getting home when he pulled up the drive. She was getting out of her car, trying to manage her phone, her bag, and her travel mug all at once without dumping anything on the ground.
He smiled at the sight of her balancing on her heels and closing her car door with her hip.
She was clearly still in the middle of a long, drawn-out conversation when he joined her at the front door, taking her mug and her keys so he could unlock the door for her.
Her bag got dropped in an unceremonious heap in the entryway, like normal, and she slipped off her heels and left them beside her bag.
“I know it’s terrible,” she said into the phone. “I know it’s not fair. But there’s no sense in getting too upset about it until we hear what the judge decides. And even if that’s not the decision we want, we still have a lot of options.”
She made a face at Logan, which indicated she was sorry she couldn’t get off this call.
He was used to it and didn’t really mind. Katie had a soft heart. She didn’t want to hang up on her clients, even when they were clearly just using her as a sounding board for their woes. A lot of them could afford to pay her for those long conversations even if they accomplished nothing but making her clients feel better.
Katie looked a little stressed out this evening though. He hoped this particular client wasn’t getting to her. He hoped she wasn’t taking it personally.
He opened the bottle of wine he’d brought with him and poured a glass for both Katie and himself. He’d brought takeout with him too this evening, so he started pulling the containers out of the big paper bag.
By the time he’d laid all the food out on the counter, Katie had managed to hang up.
“Sorry,” she said, sighing deeply as she leaned her chin on her hand, her elbow propped up on the counter.
“Don’t be. Is everything all right?”
“I don’t know. Marla’s husband is the biggest ass on the planet. He’s got his lawyer filing all these motions just to slow things down and drive up my bill, making things more expensive for Marla. I don’t know how a man who claimed to love Marla in the past could do this kind of thing to her now.”
He checked her expression, saw that it was twisted with emotion. He put down his glass of wine and walked around the counter so he could pull her into his arms.
She shook against him for just a minute. “Sorry,” she mumbled. She wasn’t really crying, but she was close.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He stroked her hair and enjoyed the feel of her soft body against his, even as he tried to comfort her.
She pulled away after a moment and met his eyes. “I’m not upset about us though. Just about Marla.”
Some of the tension in his shoulders relaxed. He didn’t want Katie to be upset about anything, but he particularly didn’t want her to have any doubts about their relationship. She’d seemed so happy all week.
Just as happy as he was.
And he felt like the entire world had been remade before his eyes.
“I’m glad,” he told her. “Not that you’re upset about Marla, but that—”
She laughed and stretched up to kiss him. “I know what you mean.”
He liked the kiss very much, and he tried to deepen it. He groaned when she pulled away from him.
“I’m starving,” she said with a smile, heading toward the containers of Italian food he’d laid out on the counter. “Food first. Kissing later.”
That seemed like a reasonable deal to Logan.
They chatted about work as they ate, and Katie asked about the father of his partner, Carl, who’d had the heart attack two weeks ago and then triple-bypass surgery.
He was starting to recover, which Logan was happy about.
“Have you heard from your parents?” Katie asked, finally pushing her plate aside once she’d eaten her fill.
“Yeah, my mother has called twice this week.” Logan chuckled. “I think she wants to make sure I’m not messing things up with you.”
“Why would she think that?”
“It’s been known to happen,” he admitted. “I’m not the most open or emotionally available man in the world, you know.”
She smiled at him fondly, reaching over to smooth down a piece of hair that insisted on sticking straight up. “I hope you told her that you’re the best boyfriend in the universe.”
> “I told her no such thing.”
“Well, you should. Because you are.”
He shook his head, but he couldn’t help but smile back at her. He’d never known his heart could feel so much, could hold so much emotion—all of it directed at one slim, pretty, smart, sensitive, absolutely amazing woman.
“I’ll tell her when I see her next,” Katie added with a teasing look.
“I hope you won’t.”
“Someone needs to brag on you.”
“I don’t know why.”
“Because you’re incredible and the world should be made aware of that fact.” She leaned over to kiss him.
He got excited as he responded to her embrace, resulting in both their stools nearly toppling over.
Giggling, Katie stood up and started to clear up their plates. Logan sighed resignedly as he helped her.
Surely pretty soon he’d be able to touch her the way he wanted to.
Finally the dishes were done, and the phones were put away, and they were sitting together on the couch.
There was no reason in the world now for Logan not to pull her over so she was straddling his lap.
“Kind of impatient today, aren’t you?” Katie murmured, rubbing herself against him and evidently feeling that he was already starting to get hard.
“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” he admitted, pulling her down into a deep kiss.
Once he had her in his arms like this, there was no way to hold himself back. He kissed her thoroughly and caressed the sweet curves of her bottom, her hips, her breasts, wanting to feel every inch of her again.
He pulled off her top since it was just getting in the way.
Soon she was as eager as he was. She was making pretty little moans as he fondled her breasts through the thin fabric of her bra. Her head had fallen backward, and she looked lush, decadent, helplessly aroused.
He couldn’t believe he was capable of making her look that way, feel that way. It filled his mind, his chest, with a rush of purely masculine pride.
Wanting to extend the aching pleasure, he put his hands on her hips to hold her still, to stop her from grinding herself against him in that torturous way. He unclasped her bra and pulled it away from her skin, his erection throbbing painfully at the sight of her firm, bare breasts.
