I'm on my feet. "Give it back, asshole." I scoop up one of his full bottles of beer and flip it ready to throw. I hold onto the beer like it's a hostage to stop him. It's stupid but I was wasted; I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted him to stop.
Danny unscrews the cap. "Pissing away," he says and tips the bottle. I can't stop him. I chuck the beer bottle. I have it by the neck and mean to send it spinning up into the air and over the parapet. I swear that's all I was thinking, but my coordination's shot. The bottle hits Danny in the head. He's standing on the parapet, leaning out a bit to pour the vodka into the void. I can still see the look on his face when the bottle hits his head. The moment of shock. Then he's gone. They say it was quick. Broken neck, smashed skull, busted up inside.
The coroner's verdict was accident/misadventure.
I never told anyone how it really went down. I just said he was messing around on the parapet and fell. Danny was that smashed up no one would ever know any different. Except me.
Chapter Fourteen
I don't know how long I stare into the canal. But eventually some kids come by and I feel a bit daft hanging around. I head home but I don't go back through the park; I'm still afraid of meeting Suki.
I wander through a maze of bridges and paths until I come to the meadow. The river's wide and flat here. The meadow is huge, a common area where horses and cows graze. It's busy with dog walkers and joggers all of them caught up and busy with their lives. The town sits on the horizon, all spires and prettiness, like nothing bad could ever happen there.
The same stuff is going round and round my in head. But I tell myself to get over it; the ghosts are just ghosts. What difference does it make to me what their life was like. This thing of trying to look out for their loved ones hasn't made anything better. I never cared before. I need to stop being such a fucking drama queen. And Danny's dead, end of, nothing I can do about it now.
I don't exactly convince myself.
When I get home the house is empty, so no one gives me a hard time about why I look like shit. I stand in the shower for half an hour. Then I sit on the sofa and watch TV, but there's no way I can cope with Noel Edmonds. I go out and catch a bus back to town.
I think of going to work to be around the guys. But I need to do something that might help me understand what's going on with the ghosts. So I head to the library. The study centre is on the top floor. It's quiet, full of mysterious filing cabinets and computers. A handful of retired folk are huddled over screens, researching their family history or something. They may be old but they all seem to know what they're doing. I feel a bit of a dick when I have to head for the helpdesk.
The lady's on the phone, explaining about baptism records. Every time it looks like she's done, the caller comes back with another question. I'm starting to think this was a bad idea. But when she gets of the phone, she's really helpful. She tells me they keep all the local papers going back years. She explains that for the last eight months or so they've got the actual papers so I won't have to deal with the microfiche machine. She says I need to fill in a yellow slip to request papers. I ask for the weekly local paper for the last eight months.
She gives me a bit of a funny look and asks where I want to start. I go for three months ago. I figure the ghosts don't come straight back, but the flowers weren't that old. She gives me another sideways look, parks me at a station well away from the serious old guys, and goes off to get the papers.
I flick through six papers before I find anything. Then I see a headline about an accident on the ring road. Joe and Laurie Evans, the mug shot pictures show them in school uniform. The article says they were killed in the accident, along with their father, Stuart Evans. No other cars involved. Mr Evans was found to have caused death by driving without due care and attention, having consumed alcohol four times above the legal limit.
So that was Joe and Laurie's story. Killed by a drunk they loved and trusted.
It's getting late. Most everyone else is gone. The lady is tidying stuff away. So I leave it there. The kids were the only ones I didn't know anything about. I still don't see why they would come back. I walk down the stairs past all the posters for concerts, plays and help centres, but I don't really see them.
The idea slides back into my head. Was Danny fucking with me, sending some kind of message, or am I going completely nuts? I leave the library and head down George Street past all the expensive bars. I look in the windows and tell myself that won't help, but in the back of my head I know how it would. It's one way to stop yourself thinking about stuff. I like that idea, especially now even thinking about Suki makes it all worse.
I keep walking. My route home seems to take me by every pub in town. Each doorway is a new challenge. Somehow I get home without ending up in a bar or off licence. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's the memory of the kids' faces, all bright and fresh, staring out from the papers like they had nothing to worry about. What have I got to moan about?
When I get home some of the guys are back, and I get a load of stick about the row with Ally. They keep playing it out like a scene from a movie. It has grown a bit in the telling, either that or I was a bigger jerk than I remember. I know I'm never going to live it down. Pete's a bit apologetic but I don't mind too much. At least it takes my mind off the other stuff.
####
I get through two days without anything going wrong. I find myself thinking about the ghosts a lot, and Suki. I wonder if I've done the right thing bailing on her. But I don't have any answers and somehow I know it's not right to go back until I've worked this stuff with the ghosts out.
I go back to the butchers. The big guy and the lads are in the shop, everything seems cool. I stand across the street until the big guy sees me. We exchange stares and he raises a hand. I leave before he can come over.
When I get a fare that leaves me in Carling Road, near St Andrews, I feel the pull to go and visit Mr E. It's about a week since I went. I sit on the bike, staring at the home for about five minutes. In the end I go and ring the buzzer. One of the younger girls answers the door.
She says, "Hello Mr Horwood." She looks a bit surprised to see me but I'm not too quick on the uptake.
"How's Mr Edwards?" I ask. As soon as the words are out, I know from the look on her face he's dead.
"He died three nights ago," she says. "I'm so sorry. I'm sure the senior staff would've contacted you along with the next of kin."
"I've been away," I say and edge backwards so she can't close the door and lock me in.
"Do you want me to get one of the seniors? Or the funeral details?"
"No, don't worry. I'll speak to…." I only know Mrs Edwards name, so I mutter something and get out of there. I can see her watching me as I go across the gravel and get on the rickshaw. I hope she thinks I'm being weird because I'm upset. But actually it makes me feel a bit better hearing about Mr E.
Riding back I figure this thing with visiting the ghosts relatives is a bit like drinking. Some sort of compulsion. Or maybe it's guilt, or karma. But it's nuts too. As if this shit wasn't complicated enough already. I've got to keep it under control, the ghosts lives, my life. If I don't keep it straight, I'll be going round to Joy and Marv for dinner next. It's supposed to be ridiculous and funny but I shiver at the thought. It's really freaky. I tell myself to get it together.
I get a few more jobs and it's late when I get back to the garage. A couple of the guys are outside smoking. Pete's with them though he doesn't smoke. He looks at me with a big grin on his face. "You got visitors," he says.
I figure it can't be bad or he wouldn't be grinning. Pete's a pretty nice guy. But he disappears inside before I can ask him any questions or find out what I'm walking in to.
I head into the garage, cautiously. The first thing I see is Suki and Mickey sitting on the sofa. Ally's sitting on the arm of the sofa by Suki with a big smile on his face. They seem to be having a nice chat. It's all a bit surreal for a moment. Suki's wearing jeans and a blue shirt. She looks
really cute. A few of the guys are hanging around but Ally's hogging her attention and keeping them away and I'm immediately grateful for that. Mickey is sitting beside her and looking pleased with himself.
I amble over, trying to be cool, and say, "Hi."
Mick gives me a grin and says, "Hey, T."
Suki just smiles. I stand there, not knowing how to deal with the situation. Ally gets up and slaps me on the back. I'm waiting for him to say something embarrassing but he just says, "You're done for today, T." He does pull a face and give me a wink but I don't think Suki sees it. Then he heads off.
Somehow I get Suki and Mickey out of the garage without doing or saying anything that makes me look like an arse. It helps that they are really relaxed with each other, acting like old buddies. Mickey's just Mickey, but I don't know what to expect from Suki. I guess she's got every right to be pissed with me, but she just goes along with Mick and he chatters on like usual. Gradually I calm down. We head into town. Mickey keeps the conversation going and makes Suki laugh. I'm not much help to him.
Somehow we end up going for pizza. I think it's Mickey's idea. He's in such a great mood, you can't shut him up but it doesn't matter. Suki makes it all easy. And eventually I get over myself. We're in the restaurant for hours and we have a great laugh. Me and Mick stuff ourselves with dough balls and pizza, like we haven't eaten for days, finishing off whatever Suki leaves. When Mickey goes for a pee, Suki turns to me.
"I had to see you, Tommy. I hope you don't mind me showing up?"
"No, course not."
"I won't hassle you. I promise. But Jess told me everything. "
"It's not your problem." I realise how ungrateful that sounds. "I mean, it's my problem, I don't want you to get mixed up in it."
She looks really serious. "From what Jess said, you need to get help, Tommy."
I'm thinking that I could take that several ways. I stare at her, trying to work out what she means. But I get distracted. She looks so gorgeous I want to kiss her. Then Mickey comes back. You've got to love his timing. He doesn't notice anything and starts going on about ice cream. Suki and him soon have their heads together over the dessert menu.
I hate ice cream so I just sit there with an espresso, feeling the best I have for weeks, while they finish up. When we get outside I'm surprised how late it is. We walk through town. I figure Mickey will head off towards North Oxford, and then I can talk to Suki. I'm really relaxed and when I see this familiar face in the crowd heading towards us, at first I don't think anything of it.
Then I recognise psycho Kev; the guy who beat the shit out of me over the ghost's Barbie girl. I'm not sure if he's seen me but I don't want him to. We're walking by the theatre; it's a big old brick building with an alley down one side where the crowds can get out to a back lane car park. I steer Suki and Mickey into the alley and hope Kev hasn't noticed us.
For a few strides Mick and Suki are too busy talking to notice the diversion. Then Mickey says, "What are you doing, T? This isn't –"
"Shut up!" I'm looking back and hoping I'm being paranoid. This is all going to go away.
When Kev comes running round the corner I know this isn't going to go away. He's got company. I tag them in my head as they line up behind him, moose-face, cowboy boots and hairgel guy. Four of them. How can I be due this much bad luck?
I push Suki towards Mickey and say to him, "Get her out of here now. I'll hold them off." It sounds stupid, like we're in a western. I can only imagine what Suki's going to think. Or what Jess will say when she hears about my latest fuck up. But that's for later; I have more pressing worries now. Mickey gets it straight off and catches Suki by the hand, pulling her along with him.
When I look back, Kev and his three mates are spreading out across the alley. He's grinning but the look on his face is evil. "I've been looking for you, fuckwit," he says. "For a drunk, you're not an easy bastard to find. But here we are."
He says it like he got a special Christmas present. I'm not sure why it's such a big deal to him, more likely he just enjoys this sort of stuff. He already took major retribution for the ghost's original insult. Him and his boys beat the crap out of me, way beyond what a supposedly drunken comment warranted. I hear footsteps behind me. When I glance round I see Mickey and Suki. "Get her out of here, idiot," I hiss at him.
Mickey lifts his hands, fatalistic. "It's a dead end, T."
"There's a gate." I get this horrible sinking feeling.
"It's locked."
When I think about what time of night it is, I know he's right. I'm the fucking idiot. Kev and his mates are closer now, his grin getting bigger and nastier by the moment.
"Leave them out of it," I say, jerking my head towards Suki and Mickey. I move forward a bit to keep them behind me. "They don't have anything to do with this."
Kev laughs too loud, like some psycho nutter in a movie. I'm guessing he's drunk or on something.
"Like you left Debbie out of it when you decided to fuck with me?" he says. "Just tell me why I should, you piss head moron?"
"It was just a little joke." It's not the best defence. It sounds as if I'm asking for another beating, but the truth won't fly and, under pressure, I'm not coming up with any other bright ideas.
"A joke," Kev says, and frowns like he's thinking about it. "A fucking joke. She was really freaked out after your little joke. And now she wants to dump me. Says she saw you again and you said something. So how funny is that, arsehole?" He rolls his shoulders and jerks his head either way, as if he's a prize-fighter, or Jean Claude van Damme. It looks really stupid but I keep quiet. He jabs a finger at me. "You said something that messed with her head. I want to know what it was."
For a moment I feel a bit pleased for the ghost, seems he got what he wanted after all. But the moment doesn't last. Kev's here for his revenge and he doesn't know anything about the ghost. I say, "How's that my problem?" I try to make it sound like a reasonable question. I'm wondering how to get Suki out of here.
"It was something about you, what you said. She kept crying and bitching, then she said she had to dump me. I don't know what happened but I know it was your fault."
I don't have an answer. Really I don't even care. I'm worried for Suki and trying to keep him talking so it doesn't kick off. "Perhaps it was watching you beat the crap out of me that turned her off?" I say. "I guess she didn't realise what a psycho you were."
"Well, she's not here now, so we don't have to worry about that do we?"
"Let them go," I say it again. When I see this isn't working I change tack. "It's not right to take it out on a girl." I give up on getting Mick out of this. I feel bad but I know he'll understand; he's a loyal git and probably wouldn't go anyway.
Kev looks over at Suki. I can't see her and I wish I could. I hate that this is happening to her because of me. Kev flicks his head. "The girl can go. Just the girl." Suki doesn't move. He shouts at her. "Get out of here, you stupid bitch, before I change my mind."
I look round just as Mickey pushes her forwards. She doesn't want to go. I can't tell if she's scared or trying to be loyal. "Go on," I say. "Before he changes his mind."
Suki stares at me. Then she starts down the alley, keeping close to the wall and well away from Kev. Once she's past him she moves slower. Like by staying she can hold off what's coming. But there's no chance of that, and I don't want her to see any of this. Me and Mickey against the four of them. It's not good but we've been in fights before, and I'm ready to give some out. With a last look Suki heads out onto the street. Now she's gone I have time to be more sorry Mick's caught up in this. He's not a big guy and he's not much of a fighter. Nor am I for that matter.
Kev steps towards me. Two of his mates flank him but hold back for now. The moose faced guy moves towards Mickey. I stand my ground. There's nowhere to run to and after everything, I'm not in the mood to run. I figure there's no point waiting and as soon as he's close enough, I take a swing at Kev.
I catch him off guard. After last time I gu
ess he's not expecting much resistance. My punch grazes his jaw, connecting well enough to bruise my knuckles. He staggers back and I know he has to have felt it. I keep coming at him, hooking another punch low towards his gut. He's still off balance and my momentum brings us up close. I grab him. We wrestle, stumbling about; then we hit the wall and go down, rolling on the ground. I try to knee, kick or punch him in the nuts, or anywhere, anything goes.
I'm still a bit distracted by worrying about Suki. I hope she doesn't call the cops. I don't need that sort of grief. But I hope she has the sense to get right away from here before these guys are done. I'm under no illusions that we're going to be able to do anything to help her when this is over.
Kev's fist smacks hard into the side of my head. It's a lucky punch but it gives him a chance to shove me off and scramble up. I'm only halfway up when his kick catches me in the side. I go down again and pull my hands up round my head as his mate closes in. I just about roll enough to ride the kick. They let me scramble up. Across the alley the moose guy is laying into Mickey. I don't like to see it but I've got other problems.
Kev has given up any idea of one on one. He lines up with his mates and they advance in a line, driving me deeper into the alley, out of sight of the street. I see Mickey go down, crashing off one of the big rubbish bins and into a pile of black bags. The guy kicks him in the guts and Mick doesn't look like he's getting up anytime soon. But he's groaning so I'm hoping he's okay. I wince as the moose faced guy gives him another kick and then heads over to join our party.
Kev's got a bloody lip and his shirt's ripped. I'm glad I've managed to do some damage this time, even if it has pissed him off.
"Takes four of you, does it girls?" I say as they team up.
Kev just smiles like he's getting ready to enjoy himself. I think, whatever the ghost intended, he did a good thing for his girl. I'm glad for Deb Barbie's sake that she's not with this guy anymore. The alley doglegs and we're out of sight of Mickey and the street now. A couple more steps backwards and I don't have anywhere left to go. I rattle the gate but it is locked and the metal bars are about ten foot high with wire at the top.
Soul Mate (Book One) Page 14
