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We're quite a while in the shower. It's Suki's fault. We spend ages getting dry too. Then Suki puts on this brown T-shirt dress. It's not that it shows a lot. It has a high neck and little sleeves but it is short and sort of clingy. I've never seen her wear anything like it.
I say, "That's a pretty dress." She smiles at me. I get a rush of guilt. How can I feel so good? I sit down on the bed. Suki comes to sit beside me.
"What is it?" she asks.
I wish I could tell her. But I can't, not any of it. I shrug. She slides her arm round me and we lean into each other. After a bit, I feel like I can breathe again.
When we come out Jess is sitting on the sofa watching TV with the sound turned up really loud. It's hard to read the look on her face. Jess is always a mystery to me.
Suki goes to sit down beside her. "We're going to see Tommy's mate in the hospital, do you want to come?"
Suki obviously doesn't feel the need to run this by me first. I decide that's OK, this once.
"I'm watching telly," Jess says.
I think, OK that's sorted then, but Suki doesn't seem to think so.
"It's a rerun of Desperate Housewives, you've seen it a dozen times. Come on Jess."
Apparently it's important Jess comes with us. So I say, "Yeah, come on Jess. You can protect me from Max."
Suki shoots me a look but Jess actually seems interested. "Who's Max?"
"He's Mick's friend and he hates me. You should have lots in common."
This seems to swing it. So Jess comes with. We go on the bus. I'm a bit nervous that we might run into Ally. I have the money for him, so that's at least something. I don't have an explanation and that's not so good. But I know Ally wouldn't hurt me in front of the girls.
We get to the hospital without any disasters. I have no clue where Mickey is now. Of course, Suki knows. We go to the ward and Max is there. Mick looks good for a guy who was stabbed a few days ago. Which is to say he looks like shite. It makes me feel cold and sort of sick. I try not to think about Danny.
Mick doesn't have tubes sticking out of him but he's pale, thin and washed out looking. And it's my fault. I don't know what to say to him, so I do the introductions with Jess and ask how he's doing.
"I'm doing great, T." This is obviously BS but I just nod.
I want to say I'm sorry, but it won't quite come out. Max glares at me and that makes it harder. I sort of fade into the background as Suki starts asking Mick sensible questions about how he is and when he will get out of here.
Max comes round the bed to stand beside me. "Where the fuck have you been? You get him into this and then you can't even come and visit him." He says it real low and nasty but somehow Mickey hears.
"Tommy's shit scared of hospitals." Mick says this sort of automatically, just bailing me out as usual.
Max looks as if he swallowed a lemon. Or maybe like he was punched in the gut.
Everything goes quiet. Mick looks like he wishes he kept his mouth shut. Even Suki seems to find it awkward.
"Tommy's a jerk but he means well," says Jess into the silence. She makes it obvious this is a considered opinion. Mickey looks at her, for some unfathomable reason he laughs like she's joking. I know she's not joking. But Mick's laughing and Max joins in, so that's good. Jess starts to talk to Max about something boring. Suki pushes me towards the bed. I get the message.
"I'm so sorry, dude," I say to Mickey.
"Shit happens." Mick shrugs it off.
I think that's pretty much it sorted as far as Mick and I are concerned, but I can tell Suki expects something more of me. I can't think of anything so I say, "Max is a good guy." Luckily Max is too busy talking to Jess to hear this. "I hope we'll be friends, eventually."
Suki elbows me quite hard.
"What?" I say.
But Mickey just laughs. "Don't be a dickhead, T. I know you don't like him much. And he can't fucking stand you. I don't see that changing anytime soon." He stops laughing. "You can do one thing for me."
"Sure," I say. "Anything." I'm well relieved he doesn't expect me to be best mates with Max. Anything else should be a doddle.
"Just stay out of trouble. For all our sakes." He glances at Suki. "Looks like you gotta another lottery win, dude. Make the most of it."
This is a bit deep. Mickey with the life advice again. Must be because he's not feeling well. "Sure," I say again and give him a smile like it's no problem that he's asked the one thing I can't promise. The ghosts are coming back sometime and there's nothing I can do about it.
I feel a bit weird, but Suki slips her hand into mine and I know, somehow, it's going to be OK. I might be a jerk but there are a couple of people who seem willing to overlook my shortcomings. And the ghosts are on my side, for now at least.
THE END OF BOOK ONE
Soul Mate (Book One) Page 25
