by Nicole Smith
“The only time I can remember seeing Hayden both of you were with him at the apartment. He wasn’t really with me, just a part of my visions, not real. I can’t remember him finding me,” I told them.
“Natalie, he said he did find you, but you just kept running away from him,” he said, confused. This shocked me. There were times when someone chased me but I believed I only ran from my fears. I ran from myself. I shook my head, not wanting to believe Hayden found me there.
“He wouldn’t let it go Natalie, he kept returning to that realm with you but each time he came back he seemed more and more despondent. He faded in front of us and he seemed deeply hurt by your rejection. Unfortunately Stella took advantage of this and she comforted him when he returned to her. He wasn’t going to the apartment at night either, he actually stayed with her,” Clive seemed to want to stop telling me all this. Did Hayden cheat on me with a ghost? I faked a reassuring smile, urging him to continue.
“The day before you woke up, Hayden was missing for over a week. When I received the call from Louisa that you were awake, I became frantic, I needed to find him. I went to the edge of the woods and called his name. I ran through the trees shouting, hoping for a response.
Beth appeared before me. She knew you were awake and led me to him. I found them lying together in a cave, Stella’s faded form and Hayden barely dressed and shivering. He appeared to be suffering from hypothermia. I rushed him to the hospital, he was actually being treated just a few rooms down from you. While you waited for him he struggled out of his own bizarre delirium. It took a few hours for him to recover enough to be able to see you,” Carlos closed his eyes. I felt like he had just punched me in the stomach. It hurt to breath with the lump that formed quickly in my throat.
“Louisa told me she called him, she told me he visited every day. Why did she lie to me like that?” I felt a heat rising into my cheeks. Everything has been a lie since I woke up.
“Natalie, he told us he believed he was with you before you woke up. He made a drastic mistake, because he travelled into a different realm with someone else. She must have convinced him you were there. Stella is in love with him and the realm they go to is the only one they can be together in,” Clive explained. I couldn’t understand this. Hayden would not cheat on me, especially not with a ghost.
“Hayden loves me, he always has and he would never leave me for some dead woman. He is obviously being controlled by her and she is slowly killing him. It is just one of her spells,” I cried. I felt sure of this. My head began to spin, the room turned black. I struggled to regain my composure. A doctor on the ward came running in then.
“A woman has just tried to enter the room. I don’t know how she managed to get this far. I just thought I should warn you,” he told Clive quickly before running out. Clive and Carlos both stared at me. They must have noticed me falter.
“Stella is here and she knows I don’t trust her. She is controlling Hayden. She will kill him if we don’t stop her. A seeker has to be here, twenty-four hours a day until he is awake. When she appears she must be struck, she has to end immediately,” I told them. I couldn’t think about Hayden with Stella. He wants to come back to me, this I must believe.
“I have to go, one or both of you have to stay here until I return,” I ordered as I bent over Hayden and kissed his lips. I held his hands as I listened for his breath again. I smiled when I felt it against my cheek. I have to bring my Hayden back to me, this weak man laying here in this hospital bed is not the man I fell in love with, but I will get him back. I looked at Clive and he nodded slowly, unsure of what I thought I could do but not wanting to stop me.
“You have to promise me you will not leave him alone, even for a second. Stella is waiting for her chance. She will kill him,” I tried to stress this, needing them to understand. I don’t know how I knew this exactly I just knew. I realized as I stood there before them that Beth let me know, it was her that entered the room, not Stella.
“Yes Natalie, I will not leave his side and if she tries to enter again I will destroy her,” Clive reassured me as he pulled out his Kris. I smiled and gave him a hug. He held me tightly, knowing I planned on destroying her myself.
“Don’t worry about us. Just go do what you feel you must but be careful, please,” Carlos whispered, looking into my eyes as he kissed my fingers that were now wrapped in his hand.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I quickly opened the heavy door to the stairwell and ran up the stairs. I reached the top, opened the door and walked out on to the roof. The wind whipped at my face but strangely it felt calming. I walked to the edge of the building and pulled my hood up to cover my ears. The sounds of the city rumbled from down below. The dark night glowed from the city lights. I wished I could have seen the stars. I stood on the ledge and looked down. I waited here for her on the rooftop. She will be arriving soon. She has no choice but to come.
She needs me and this is the only way she can have me. I made her choose between us, him or me. As much as she loves him she wants my life more. The chance to feel alive again is just too tempting for her, too irresistible to give up. When Beth entered Hayden’s hospital room I told her to tell Stella to meet me on the roof if she still wants me and to let Hayden go.
I stood in the wind and from in between the shadows she walked calmly toward me. She walked as though she stilled lived, as though her body is still weighted with blood. I smiled as she walked toward me. The deal is she lets go of her hold on Hayden and brings him back, immediately. I held my cell in my hand waiting for one of them to call, waiting for one of them to tell me he is awake. I waited patiently as she stood in front of me, expressionless. They should have called by now. I scowled at her, angered by her breach in our agreement.
“Well, is he awake yet?” I questioned her. She looked from me up to the night sky then returned her gaze on me.
“He is, but I don’t understand, maybe they are waiting to call you, I don’t know,” she stammered, as though it’s insignificant if I got the call or not.
“He is awake and that is all that matters,” she replied angrily. She made an attempt to come at me but I dodged her quickly. She floated in the air on the other side of the ledge I had stood on for a few seconds before she returned to the roof.
“We have a deal,” she hissed as she ran at me again.
“The deal is that you return Hayden to me. As far as I can tell you have not held up your end yet,” I shouted back to her as I avoided her grasp again. She couldn’t hide the anger she felt towards me. I remembered the Kris in my pocket. I reached my hand in and gripped the cold metal. Just as I pulled it out I heard her scream and disappear into a ball of light in front of me. Behind her, Hayden stood holding his Kris in one hand and a cane in the other. I ran to him, throwing my arms around his shoulders, I felt him falter. I held him close as we stumbled to the ground. I placed my hands on his pale face and kissed him. Tears were streaming down my face as I laughed, not letting go of him.
“Oh Natalie, I am so sorry,” he cried as he held me closer. Clive and Carlos came running through the door and onto the rooftop. Once they spotted us relief crossed their faces.
“Oh, thank god,” Clive said as he came over and hugged us both. He helped Hayden up and gave him his cane.
“Let’s get you back downstairs, I don’t know how protected you are up here,” Clive said as I wrapped my arm around Hayden’s thin waist and helped him down the stairs.
Once we reached his room I noticed the doctor sitting on the bed, waiting patiently for our return. “Can I see my patient now?” he asked sternly.
“Yes, please, tell me how he is,” I pleaded.
“Natalie, he has the light, he’ll get strong quickly, don’t worry. I just want to give him a check, just to make sure he hasn’t suffered any serious damage,” he smiled at me before he turned back to Hayden.
“Aside from your weak muscles do you feel any pain or numbness?” he asked him as he looked in his ears, eyes and throat. He l
istened to his heartbeat and checked his pulse.
“No doc, I just feel a little tired, physically, but nothing else,” he told him as he sat back in his bed. I raced over and jumped on to the bed. I stretched out beside him and placed my hands on his chest. I kissed him as I brushed his hair from his face.
“I’ll leave you for now Hayden, I’ll be back later,” he said as he turned and walked toward the door, pausing before leaving.
“So is this trespassing spirit gone now?” he asked. I smiled and nodded. He turned and shut the door.
“Carlos has taken her. I think I’m going to leave myself. I’ll return tomorrow to say goodbye before I return home. It’s good to see you both back and in action again,” Clive grinned as he put on his coat and left.
“How did you know I was on the roof with her?” I asked, as I sat up.
“She told me she was meeting you. When I awoke Clive told me you were looking for her. I somehow received a vision of her on the roof and miraculously I still held my speed as I raced up, just in time I think,” he sighed as he sat up beside me.
“Hayden, why did you do this to yourself?” I asked as I held his hand in mine.
“I’ll tell you everything I promise, but know that all I really wanted is to protect you. It hurt so much that I had let you go,” he squeezed my hand. I placed my head back down on his chest. He seemed tired so I didn’t press him, there would be lots of time for talking later.
I traced my fingers along his tattoo, the woman that resembled the girl in the painting, the woman that resembled me. I still felt the rush of confronting Stella, a part of me wished I had sunk my blade in to her.
The sun poured through the windows as I felt Hayden move away from me. I rubbed my eyes, surprised by how deeply I slept. I leaned back against the pillows Hayden had just sat up from. He turned towards me and smiled.
“Good morning my love, I hope you slept well,” he said as he kissed my forehead. I smiled, enjoying this moment. I had my Hayden back and I am not about to let go of him again. I shook the image of him with Stella from my head.
“I’m sorry about Stella. I have a feeling you know more about us than I wanted. You have to know that I went into those realms because I searched for you. Stella took advantage of my despair,” he explained.
“Did you sleep with her Hayden?” I asked, standing up, staring at him. A vision in my mind appeared of the two of them naked, in a different time and place. I gasped when the door opened.
“Good morning!” Carlos greeted us as he came bounding into the room. I tried quickly to regain my composure.
“I believe I have good news,” he explained as he placed a coffee in my hands. “Thank you Carlos, so what’s your good news?” I asked as I took a sip. He smiled at me then looked over at Hayden.
“I ran into your doctor on my way in, it looks like you’ve been released. Everything checked out. I’d be happy to drive you when you’re ready,” he said as he looked at me again. It seemed like he wanted to say something else but he was holding back.
“Thank you Carlos. I think that would be great. I’ll try not to keep you waiting,” he said as he attempted to stand. He quickly reached for the cane he used last night before he took another step. I hope he gains his strength back quickly he’s going to need it, I thought as I looked back to Carlos. I couldn’t watch him, knowing his pride is hurting having me see him like this. I looked over to Carlos and gestured to the door. He nodded and walked out. I followed once Hayden closed the bathroom door.
“So what’s really up?” I asked him as soon as the door shut. He smiled and reached for me. Wrapping his arms around me, I couldn’t help but lean on him.
“I’m going to miss you Natalie,” he whispered.
“Where are you going?” I asked, feeling nervous. I needed him to stay. I felt lost after Hayden’s confession. I needed a friend.
“I’m going to Europe. I’ve decided to go on an adventure myself after all this,” he told me. I closed my eyes, feeling surprised and sad that he is leaving again so soon. A large part of me wanted to grab my suitcase and go with him. I knew Hayden wouldn’t want to go and I didn’t really know if I would want him to come with me.
“Oh wow Carlos! I don’t know what to say. I know what I want to say, but I can’t,” I said as I squeezed his hand. He held me closer.
“Say what you want to Natalie, tell me what you want to say,” he said as he slowly backed away from me. I still gripped his waist with my hands as I tried to fight back my tears. I couldn’t let him go.
“I want you to take me with you,” I said quietly, looking up at him.
“I would take you Natalie you know that. It’s your decision to make,” he said as he lifted my hands to his lips and kissed them softly. I sighed as I let go. Hayden opened the door then and looked at both of us quickly.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” he said as he reached for my hand. Without waiting for an answer he walked over to the nurse’s station and informed them he’s leaving.
Carlos grabbed his suitcase and walked to the elevator. I feel like I’m drowning, I thought as I watched them both. There is such a huge part of me that wants to travel, to see new places and meet new people. I want to find ghosts in old castles and hear their stories. Not to necessarily capture them but to talk with them. I want more excitement. I think, because I have come so close to death that I’ve realized I really want to live.
When we pulled up to the apartment Carlos just drove to the front doors. He wasn’t coming in, he’s leaving. Hayden stood slowly then held his hand out to Carlos’ who shook it.
“Thank you for all your help and I especially want to thank you for taking care of Natalie once she woke, if I could have been there I would have, so thank you my friend. When are you leaving for Europe?” he asked as he turned from him and glanced over at me as I leaned against the car. I should have known he heard everything.
“I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning, my flight leaves at ten,” he told him but I think he said it more for my benefit. He wanted me to know how much time I had to decide.
“Take care of your-self Carlos,” Hayden said as he walked to the doors not waiting for me. The doorman carried Hayden’s bag in.
Once I saw Hayden reach the elevator and enter I wrapped my arms around Carlos, hiding my face in his chest.
“Come with me Natalie,” he pleaded. I felt his fingers run through my hair and he kissed my forehead gently. I wanted to join him in this adventure but I didn’t want to love him. I couldn’t.
“I can’t go Carlos. Will you do me a favor though, will you send me messages of your adventures. I would love to hear who you meet and what you do, please will you write to me?” I begged, holding back tears again.
“Of course I will Natalie and if you change your mind, will you please call me?” he breathed in heavily.
“I will,” I mumbled knowing it wasn’t likely. He tilted my head up to look at him.
“Natalie, we have been through a lot together in the short amount of time I have known you. Please don’t forget that I will continue to be here whenever you need me, all you have to do is call and I will be on the next flight back, I love you,” he said as he kissed me warmly then turned and walked back to his car. He waved before he sped away. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
“I love you too,” I whispered before I turned to walk into the apartment.
I pressed the button to go up. What was I going up to? I love Hayden but I felt like I needed more. I’m no stranger to losing love and I understand that Stella sent him into some kind of delirium, but it still hurt. I knew what it felt like to love a ghost. It still sent shivers through me when I thought of Adam so I knew Hayden felt something with Stella.
I’ve lived with sorrow and pain, which I knew losing Hayden would give me but I still craved more. What exactly did I need more of? I really wish I knew the answer to this.
I walked into the apartment, which he left unlocked and took off my shoes. It almo
st felt like the first time I entered this place. I felt like I’m a visitor now. It wasn’t my home anymore, its Hayden’s. It has been more than seven months since we have lived together. It’s strange, even though I was lost in a different world which definitely didn’t feel like seven months, it didn’t feel like yesterday either.
I could hear the shower running. I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. I needed to rest, maybe in the morning this need for adventure will subside. I began to have a million thoughts run through my head. One of the main ones is of Luke. Where is he? Why haven’t they told me what happened to him? I have to call John. It has been a long time since he’s heard from me. I wondered if Hayden has called him. I needed to know more about Beth. I opened my eyes and saw Hayden standing above me.
“Can I answer some questions for you Natalie? I know you need them answered before you go,” he said, as though he read my mind. He seemed so distant now and how did he know I seriously thought of leaving? He smirked as he walked toward the kitchen. I followed him nervously. This changes everything. He still has one foot in the other realm, the same way I do.
I sat at the table and waited for him to join me. He seemed to be moving slowly but he didn’t want my help. I realized now that Hayden and I couldn’t exactly read minds but we had an increased awareness in not only what surrounded us but we could sense emotions from those around us, even if they were trying to hide them. When Beth entered Hayden’s hospital room I knew why she was there and without words we communicated so much. I thought of Beth and wondered how she coped with the loss of Stella. I looked up at Hayden who stood across from me, watching me.
“I’ll bring you to her later. We have some unfinished business to deal with first. I should tell you that I am a little disappointed in you for risking your own safety to snare Stella. She could have easily taken you again. I’m not sure how you managed to distract her. I am grateful to be out of that realm but as you already know, a part of it still remains with me as it does in you. I’m hoping it can only help us in the future but right now it hurts. It hurts because I don’t want to know how you’re feeling. I know you need to spread your wings, you’ve never had the chance and you need too, I understand this. I will not stop you in fact I encourage you. I have come to realize that it is in our meetings after time apart that we realize just how important we are to each other.
