by Lane Hart
"Thank you!" I say before throwing the phone down and running to the stairs.
I yank open the door and there she is, sitting on the first step.
"Oh thank God!" I exclaim, going to my knees to wrap my arms around her. Sadie sniffles against my chest, her body shaking with sobs.
"What the hell were you thinking?" I ask squeezing her tighter.
"I didn't...I didn't want you...to hurt him...and then not be able...to fight."
"If I'd found you in that room, I probably would have killed him, Sadie. So you keeping it from me would've been for nothing."
"I couldn't do it. I couldn't...even if it means…everyone seeing me fuck him."
"No one's going to see it. The police have all the videos. If it's out on the cloud or some shit we'll delete those too."
"Really?" she asks.
"Yes. And now I might not ever let you go again."
She lets out a laugh mixed with a sob against me, and I pull back to wipe away her tears with my thumbs.
"So you're not mad at me?" she asks with red-rimmed green eyes.
"No, sweetheart. I love you too damn much to ever be mad at you."
Sadie gasps before wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, pulling me closer. "I love you, too, Jude."
I welcome the raindrop induced shiver down my spine that accompanies her saying my name with those four little words so affectionately. Now I realize that deep down my soul has always known what my heart has just figured out.
"I'm sorry about trying to push you away. I just..." The truth catches in my throat. "You're more important to me than this fight, okay? I want you, all of you from now on, whatever it takes."
I pull back enough that I can cover her lips with mine for the first time in what feels like forever. I taste her salty tears on them before I pry them open with my tongue. It becomes a possessive kiss to show her that she's mine and only mine from now on.
It was stupid of me to try and end things. I honestly don't think I can live without her in my life. Well, I know that I could, but I'd be absolutely miserable.
"Come on, let's go home," I tell her, picking her up in my arms to carry her. I just can't let her go.
Chapter Seventeen
Sadie
When we get back to the condo Jude sits me down on the bed and undresses me like I might break. I had to give the police officers a statement about what had happened before we left the hotel. How Ryder had recorded us having sex without my permission and then used it to try and get me to fuck him for his and his friends' twisted pleasure so that he wouldn't post it online. It wasn't clear if the police could charge them or not, but if nothing else it scared the shit out of them. I'm sure Jude's threat had them all pissing their pants too.
I watch Jude quickly shed his clothes before climbing up on the bed with me. When he gets to the center he pulls me onto his lap, and I wrap my arms and legs around him to hold him to me as close as I can.
"I love you," he says against my lips. "So damn much."
"Please don't hurt me again," I beg him. Jude's body goes completely still against mine, he even stops breathing. I try and lean back to see his face, but he pulls me against his chest.
"I'm sorry," he says before he makes love to me, and then I fall asleep happy and relieved to be back in his arms.
…
The rest of the week Jude and I are inseparable. Things are even better than before we broke up, and we’ve finally gone on a couple of real dates with candlelit dinners and everything. Even though I haven't told him, I'm planning to stay home and go to Georgetown in the fall. I don't want to leave him because I know that this isn't some whim between me and him. I think we can make this work if we don't have to deal with the long distance. Actually, I'm certain of it, which is why I was so blown away when he'd told me he didn't want to see me a few weeks ago.
"So what do you want to do today?" I ask Jude on Friday as we lay in bed on our sides, face to face, recovering from an incredible round of morning sex.
"There's something I want to do, but you don't have to tag along if you don't want to," he says, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear.
"Of course I want to tag along," I reply.
"You sure? It might take most of the day."
"Yeah. What've you got planned?" I ask. I hope he's not gonna run a marathon or something else just as crazy.
"Let me show you," he says before he rolls out of bed and opens the closet to rummage through his duffle bag. He climbs back up on the mattress with a sheet of paper and offers it to me. It's a black and white stencil of my dad's Havoc griffin.
"Um, okay?" I ask, still not understanding.
"I want that inked on my entire upper back."
"Holy shit! You're…you want to get a tattoo? Today? Of this?" I ask, sitting up in bed to try and wrap my head around the shock.
"Yeah. I've been wanting to do this for a while actually. What do you think?"
"Wow, I'm not sure. I think your body is a work of art without any ink on it," I tell him honestly. "But imagining this, the wings spreading over your shoulder blades...well there goes another flash flood warning."
He lets out a raspy laugh and gives me a wide dimpled smile. "So you think I should do it?"
"If you're sure it's what you want then go for it."
He leans forward for a quick kiss. "Thanks. So you're coming with me?"
"Of course I am. Do you think it'll hurt?" I ask.
"Well, tattoos aren't licked on by puppies, but I think I can handle it."
"I know you can," I agree. He takes beatings on a daily basis.
As soon as we shower together we head to a place Jude had been checking out online. A tattoo studio that had really good reviews with some beautiful art work posted on their website. Elite Ink is off the main highway a few minutes from our condo.
I'm not sure what I expected, but the place is really clean and nice on the inside with a waiting area of leather chairs and couches, a few pool tables and every type of flash art you could think of hanging on all the walls.
A big guy, of course covered in ink, looks at Jude's photo and tells him he'll do his whole upper back for eight hundred dollars and it'll probably take six to eight freaking hours.
I sit back and watch in awe as the tattoo artist, John, cleans and shaves Jude's back then enlarges the photo, reapplying the stencil several times until the griffin's wings fit and move perfectly with Jude's shoulder blades. After deciding on the placement, Jude stretches out flat on his stomach on the table and the buzzing of the needle starts up. I don't hold Jude's hand even though I want to just to make sure he's okay. I figure that would just make him feel like a wimp. With his head tilted in my direction his dark eyes stay on mine as the man goes to work. Jude doesn't even flinch as the needle first makes contact with his skin.
"How does it feel?" I ask after a few minutes.
"It's not as bad as I thought it would be," he says with a smile, which is a relief.
"Wait until around hour three or four," John replies.
…
Jude
Sadie. Sadie naked. Sadie's smile. Sadie's incredible ass.
I've been under the tattoo gun for more than six hours now. I was tough and unfazed for the first four and half of them. Now though, this shit's hurting like a motherfucker because John's shading in the body of the griffin that covers my spine.
Sadie went back to the house to grab a late lunch and will hopefully be back soon. Looking at her gives me something to think about other than the giant drilling into my vertebrae.
I'm certainly not expecting her to come back into the room, biting her bottom lip nervously with a square of sterile paper taped to her hip.
"What the fuck did you do, Sadie?" I ask her, almost coming up off the table until I remember the needle.
John pulls the gun away before my movement causes a stray mark so that I can jump up and go to her.
"Hey! You're doing the same thing," she replies. Easing the tape off,
she peels back the paper and reveals what Coach Briggs is going to end my life for.
"Well...fuck me backwards," I mutter. My stressed out limbs barely hold me up when I see the sexiest fucking sea turtle ever in the curve of Sadie's right hip. I reach for it and barely stop myself before my fingertips touch her newly inked skin. It's not very big, just three or four inches, but it's beautiful. There’s an orange and yellow tribal Polynesian flower over the black shell, and the pattern flows into the head brightening into red, and eases into bright green and blue swirls in the limbs.
"What do you think?" she asks. It reminds me of the night of prom when she asked if I liked her dress, like the answer's not completely obvious.
"Your dad’s gonna kill me," I tell her. "And I'm pretty sure I just came in my pants."
Sadie laughs in relief and covers it back up, so I get into position on the table again.
"Sorry," I tell John. "She caught me off guard."
"Don't worry about it," he chuckles. "You're almost done. I'd say another fifteen and then I'll be ready to clean you up."
"Thank God."
I watch Sadie retake the seat she'd spent hours in as the gun buzzes back to life, causing my sore muscles to twitch just at the sound. Now I’m unable to look away from the covered up body part I can't wait to see again. I think it might be worth her dad's wrath to be able to kiss that spot on her hip every damn night. Oh, and she will be staying with me once we get home. I don't care if she has to tell him she's moving in with Brayden for the whole fucking summer. She's going to be sleeping in my bed from now on.
"Done," John finally says after he wipes down my back with something cool. "Ready to see it?"
"Hell yes."
I get to my feet, although a little unsteadily. Taking the small hand mirror he offers I stand with my back to the full length mirror on the door.
"Holy shit!" I exclaim as I look over the massive black griffin that's now a permanent part of me. The symbol of courage and strength. The legendary king of all beasts. It's badass. It's also the Havoc trademark, my and Jax's second home for the last seven years with a coach who's done the impossible and gotten us both to world championships. And Sadie's part in all of this...well, legend holds that griffins mated for life. If one died then the other would live out the rest of its life alone.
I'm not naive. I know that eventually Sadie and I will go our separate ways, but she'll always be the first woman I ever loved, and she'll always have my heart.
"It's...wow," Sadie says with a smile. "It's incredible, John."
"Thanks," he replies. "It's damn impressive. Can't wait to see it on TV July Fourth."
"I'll give you a shout out to anyone who asks," I assure him.
"Good luck," he says with a fist bump.
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
After he tapes my back up, we're good to go. "You ready?" I ask Sadie. I can't wait to get her in bed. Actually I may not be able to make it that far before I attack her. Good thing it’s already dark outside.
…
Monday morning I'm so damn ready to get back to the gym. My tattoo is healing up nicely now that I'm four days out. Yesterday it peeled and today it itches like crazy. I'm not even worried about Coach anymore. As long as Sadie and I pretend like nothing's going on, we'll be fine. If he asks, then I'll tell him the truth and pray he doesn't give Sadie the rundown on our deal.
A rippling gasp spreads through the main floor of Havoc when I walk out of the locker room with just my shorts on like usual.
"Fuck, Jude!" Jax is the first one to approach me. "That is some seriously sick shit. I love it!"
"Thanks," I reply while he stands behind me admiring it.
"Too bad I'm a pussy when it comes to needles, because that's tight. Did it hurt like hell?" he asks with a shiver when I turn around.
A few of the other guys come over to check it out too.
"Damn right it did. Not the first few hours, but during the fifth, sixth and seventh I was on edge."
"Seven fucking hours!?!" Jax exclaims. "That shit's gonna look badass when you step in the cage on fight night. Has Coach seen it? He ought to pay you for the permanent promotion of this place. Yo, Coach!" he yells to the counter to get his attention.
Of everyone's opinion, I've been most concerned about Coach Briggs. It's his emblem after all, and for some reason, I feel like I need his approval.
"What's this I hear about your ink?" Coach asks with his approach, so I turn around to show him.
"Jesus!" he exclaims. I tense up as I wait for the follow up comment that could go either way. When he doesn't say anything I turn back around and find him smiling.
"Well?" I ask.
"Win or lose on the Fourth, you've come a helluva long ways from the skinny kid that walked into this place seven years ago. A boy hiding in the enormous shadow of his older brother. I’m so damn proud of you, Jude, and there’s no one I’d rather have representing Havoc," he says with a masculine hug, carefully avoiding touching my ink.
Of course his words make me feel like complete shit. I'm so caught up in a tangled web of lies that I may not ever find my way out. And if I do, it's gonna be a helluva fall.
"Now quit standing around and get your asses back to work!" Coach yells to get everyone moving, wearing a grin as he walks back to his office.
"You're with Sadie again, aren't you?" Jax asks softly, and I instantly get defensive.
"What the fuck does it matter?"
"Because Page is right, you obviously care about her. Actually, I'm not sure if you could win this thing as distracted as you were the week you two weren't together."
Okay, so he's not telling me I need to end things with her. Good, because that shit wouldn’t fly.
"I love her," I admit.
"Then don't do anything to fuck it up," he says with a smile.
Too bad I already have.
Chapter Eighteen
Sadie
"Has your dad seen your tattoo yet?" Jude ask while his tongue teases around the shell of my turtle.
"Nope. I've been wearing mono-kinis around the pool whenever he's home."
We've been back from the beach for three weeks now, and we're only three weeks away from fight night. Jude and I are better than ever, which is still surprising. I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, like being with him is almost too good to be true and one day he’ll realize he can do better than me.
"Thank God, because he’d lose his shit if he sees it," he says, tickling my hip bone with his kisses. He spends a lot of time down there, and I've spent a lot of time here with him in his apartment over the last few weeks. It feels like our apartment because I have about as much of my stuff in the bathroom and closet as Jude does. Since I have a key, I come over and fix a healthy dinner for him every night before Jude leaves the gym. After we eat we cuddle on the sofa together and watch TV until we start making out. At first we’d just make love right then and there, but after the third time Jude actually fell asleep on top of me from the day’s exhaustion, I insisted we go to bed before our clothes come off. He still passes out on me, but at least I don’t have to wake him up and practically drag him to the bedroom.
In the mornings at the ungodly hour of six a.m. Jude kisses me goodbye before he leaves to start his full day of intense training. Sometimes I work a few hours at the gym counter just to watch him and other days I meet the girls at my house to gossip about our men around the pool. Sundays are the only days I can convince Jude to rest, and we spend those with his family, after we stay in bed until way past noon. Jude’s dad and Page have always welcomed me warmly, but I can tell Jax wasn’t exactly thrilled with me and his brother at first. I know he just wants Jude to be the best fighter he can be and doesn’t want me distracting him. Over the weeks Jax has thawed, and seems more accepting of me in his brother’s life.
If only we could be honest with my dad instead of having to sneak around and constantly lie to him. Actually, I’m pretty sure he might even suspect that w
e’re together. Not that I’d admit that to the man that seems terrified of him finding out.
"So yesterday my dad asked me if I'm on birth control," I tell Jude.
"He did?" he asks, moving back up my body until his worried face with furrowed brow is above mine. "Well? What'd you tell him?"
"The truth. I mean I couldn't really lie since I'm on his health insurance and use his money to pay for the prescription."
"And? How'd he take it?"
"He just said that he wanted to make sure because he knows I'm not staying with Brayden every night."
Actually he said in the most awkward conversation ever, “Sadie, I’m not a fucking idiot, but I really don’t want to know the details. So you can keep lying about where you’re going and I’ll keep pretending I don’t know exactly where your car is sitting every night. Just…don’t be stupid, and I hope this means you’re going to stay home this fall and go to Georgetown.”
"Well shit," Jude exhales and runs a hand nervously over his head.
"Why don't we just tell him?" I ask without filling him in on the fact that my dad already seems to know.
"No!" he exclaims quickly. "Not with the fight coming up. I need him in my corner. I need you both in my corner."
I try to extinguish my disappointment. I don't want us to have to hide from my dad anymore. Jude and I are good together, and now I’m pretty sure my dad will even be happy that the two of us are in a relationship.
"After the fight is over, okay?" he says, brushing his lips over mine. "I promise I'll come clean about everything then. Just...give me the next few weeks in case it blows up, okay?"
"Okay," I agree. I know Jude's got a lot of pressure on him with training and struggling to make weight, so there's no reason for us to add to his stress, even if it’s unwarranted.
"I love you," Jude says against my lips. "Whatever happens just...please don't forget that."
“I won’t,” I reply even though I’m confused about why he seems so concerned. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I should probably tell him so. “I’m staying here and going to Georgetown.”
