by K. N. Knight
“When I touched Isaac Platt,” I began haltingly. “Totally by accident when I grabbed the bars. I took away some of his pain. I could feel it happen, and I could tell he was better for it afterward.”
Zain’s nice pink lips parted. “And this isn’t the first time you’ve done this, is it?”
I shook my head. “No. At first I didn’t think it was real, but it’s happened a few times now. And it kind of freaks me out.”
His forehead furrowed. “I’d say if you could do this at will, it would be a very valuable thing.” He paused, as if turning over different thoughts, and I let him have his headspace.
“Try on me,” he said.
“Are you sure?” I murmured, aware how sharp his pain was.
He nodded deeply, as if he was trying to convince himself as much as me. “Yes.”
I shuffled around and sat with my legs crossed, facing him. “Okay, I’m going to ask you to remember something painful. Something that still hurts when you think about it now. But is that too much to ask of you?”
He shuffled around to face me, too, and shook his head. “No, let’s do this.” He folded his hands in his lap and dipped his head, concentrating.
His echoes rolled toward me, even though I wasn’t looking into his eyes. I felt the pain at his center, vivid, and mingled with guilt and shame. Its epicenter was in his chest, beneath his huge rib cage, and it felt like a deep, throbbing ache. I had been planning to touch his arm, but instinctively, I reached out and laid my hand on his chest, just where his heart was. Immediately, there was an intense heat beneath my palm that didn’t seem to come from either me or him, but was like a chemical reaction between us. He inhaled sharply, indicating he was feeling it, too, but he kept his head dipped. I concentrated on the pain, and slowly the echoes became weaker. They were diminishing, like ripples in water fading out. His pain seemed less like a stab, and more something blunt and thick.
“How do you feel now?” I said. I didn’t move my hand, and slowly he lifted his head. His eyes were heavy-lidded and dim.
“Kind of dazed,” he said, “but in a good way, I think.” He stared into space again. “Some days I’m so tormented by the past, I feel like it’s all I can think about. But right now, I can think about what happened and know that there wasn’t any other option.”
“You’ve got to stop feeling guilty, Zain,” I said. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“You know what happened?” he said.
I shook my head. All I knew was that it was something to do with his close family. But I sensed very strongly that he had no reason for the guilt he carried.
“Maybe someday I’ll tell you.”
“I’m ready to listen,” I replied.
“I should probably get off these horses’ backs,” he said with a laugh, trying to be lighthearted.
“I should get up, too.”
“No, stay here. You should rest.” He squeezed my hand and jumped down from the wagon.
At dusk, we stopped at a turn off from the main road, burned trees bordering the track on both sides.
“Spend the night here or push on?” Rael called.
I stayed silent. I badly wanted to get as far away from New Vegas as possible, but I didn’t want to make everyone go farther than they wanted to, or overtire the horses. Suddenly, all three guys appeared at the back of the wagon.
“Ranger?” Rael asked.
“Whichever you guys prefer,” I said.
Zain gave me a long look. “I reckon we should push on. You said there’s another parking lot in an hour, farther along the road?” he asked Rael.
“Yup. I think it’ll be a good place to camp for the night. Just checking everyone’s okay to continue,” he said.
“Thanks.” I flashed him a look of gratitude.
“Zain was telling me what you did this afternoon,” Rael said after Zain had disappeared to the front of the wagon.
“Yeah. I don’t understand it. It seems to be a new thing,” I said.
“Ever since you took on your true form,” he replied, his eyes getting that intense glow that always happened when his curiosity was stirred.
“I guess.”
“I’ll look it up in the books when we stop. See if there’s a connection between your element and gaining new abilities.” He disappeared to the front of the wagon too, and so did Oran who had remained silent throughout the conversation. The horses backed up very slowly and awkwardly until we were back on the main road again. Horses never understood reversing.
The rest of the journey was sleepy and cozy. When I was a kid, I used to love being driven in a car at night. Looking out into the dark at the streetlights and lights of the other cars, feeling so safe and comfortable. Not wanting the journey to end. I had a similar feeling now. It was always a little nerve-racking turning up at the campsites, not knowing what to expect. Not knowing if there might be humans there with bad intentions toward us. But being on the road, in the middle of a journey, felt safe.
When we arrived at the parking lot, the sky was dark blue. I heard the guys leading the horses in very slowly, cautious of their limited vision. The horses were skittish and reluctant to walk onto the dirt track. I decided it was time I helped out. I stripped my clothes off quickly and shifted, my wolf emerging from me smoothly with a shake of her thick fur. I bounded down from the wagon, ran wide around the horses so I didn’t startle them, and went on ahead to investigate.
Beyond the dirt track, the parking lot had been tarmacked over, and there were no major potholes. It was also deserted, and I didn’t pick up the scent of any human presence. With a joyful bark, I ran back to the wagon, leapt in the back, and shifted. Then I dressed quickly and joined the guys. I directed them by memory, telling them when to edge to the right as we entered the lot, and soon we were bringing the horses to a stop. The horses were blowing hard, still upset and nervous. I stroked their noses and whispered to them, and little by little they calmed. I helped Oran unyoke them from the wagon, patting them and whispering to them all the while. Then we led them over to a patch of grasses and weeds, and they started munching hungrily.
“Thank you for supporting me today,” I said to Oran as we worked.
He turned his head in my direction, and I braced myself for more of his snark. “Not that you believed I was capable of saving you.”
I sucked in a breath. “I’m sorry. They just had a lot of guns. I thought they’d shoot you before you could do anything.”
His eyes blazed. “You grossly underestimate my speed and agility. I would’ve caught one of those guard’s greasy scalps in my talons and held them hostage before they knew what had hit them. Trust me, at that point, they would’ve done whatever you’d asked.”
“I’m sorry,” I repeated, helplessly.
He turned back to the horses. “You should know you can count on me any time you’re in trouble.”
“I can?” I murmured, too taken aback to be subtle.
“I’ve realized you’re not necessarily a bad person, despite your, shall we say, unorthodox way of earning money.”
I folded my arms. “You know, all those years since the fires, I’ve only had myself to depend on, and I just did what I needed to to survive.”
“That’s changed now though, hasn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
He ran his hand over the flank of one of the horses. “I mean you’ve got Zain now.”
My eyes automatically drifted to Rael, who was busy setting up one of the tents nearby. Oran gave me a sharp look. He continued stroking the horse for another few seconds then stalked off.
I watched him go, surprised at the flicker of guilt in my stomach. He’s jealous? I hadn’t forgotten our kiss, but I’d long since concluded it had meant nothing to him. It had just been some kind of domination game. Turning my thoughts over, I stayed with the horses for a while, soothed by their warm smell and the sound of their contented eating.
When Rael was done with the tents, he disappeared to the wagon.
I went over to see if he needed any help and found him holding one of the books open, trying to angle it so he could read it by the moonlight.
“There you are,” he said, looking happy to see me. “I’ve just been reading that as a being of the fifth element, you might have multiple powers. But they tend to be closely entwined with each other—like the ability to sense pain and take it away. Also”—he turned the page—“you may even develop the ability to inflict pain remotely as a weapon.”
I wrapped my arms around myself and shuddered. I didn’t like the sound of that at all. And Oran felt wounded by me, somehow, I realized.
“I like the thought of being able to take pain away,” I said.
Rael laid his hand on my shoulder affectionately. “I’d say that’s a very useful gift to have.”
“Speaking of which, will you excuse me for a moment?”
“Sure,” he said, and I was already running across the parking lot.
I forced myself to concentrate and follow Oran’s scent with my nostrils. After making my way through the dark woodland for a while, I found him wandering along. He spun around at my approach.
“What is your issue with me?” I said quietly.
In the darkness, I could just about make out his frown. “I don’t have an issue with you.”
“That’s not true. You’re always so hostile. You attack me, then when I explain myself, it makes you even worse. What gives?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” I took another step toward him. “It doesn’t seem like nothing. Do you want me to leave the group or something? You just hate me being around, don’t you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t hate you at all.”
“Well, don’t pretend you like me,” I said, raising my head in a challenge. I was angry, agitated, and sick of him being so difficult. “Why did you even kiss me?”
He opened his mouth and closed it again. “I kissed you because I wanted you, Ranger.”
“What?” I faltered.
“I’ve wanted you for a long time. And it’s been driving me crazy seeing you having sex first with Zain, and then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, with Rael, too.”
A familiar heat washed through me, leaving me tingling from head to toe. “Really?”
He gave a brusque nod, as if embarrassed at being so open with me.
I swallowed, gathering courage for what I was about to say: “You can also have sex with me.”
His body stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I want you, too. I want you as much as Zain and Rael. Which is all very confusing for me. I just felt like you hated me.” I stared at my feet, which were barely visible in the dark.
He was silent, then he made a sound low in his throat, took my head in his hands and planted a searing kiss on my lips. “You mean that?”
I nodded, and hardly knowing what I was doing, I reached for him and ran my hand along the zipper of his pants. He was already semi-hard, and his pelvis jerked at my touch. “I want you inside me,” I whispered. “I want you to take me, make me yours.”
That hard, almost cruel look came into his eyes again, but it was tinged with something else—something wilder. “There’s a bench nearby,” he muttered. Then he took my hand and started to drag me back the way I’d come and off to the side.
Before long, an old-style picnic bench came into view. He stood me in front of it and ran his hands over my body, beginning with my hair, then my face, then my shoulders, then my breasts. I pulled my shirt over my head, then lifted his shirt up over his pecs, exposing his taut, muscular contours to the moonlight. He was so athletic and perfectly honed; it was absolutely the body of a predatory bird. He discarded his shirt and reached for the waistband of my leggings. I pulled them off, then slipped onto the seat, knowing I had to give him something different, make him understand I was equally attracted to him, too.
I unzipped his pants, and his cock sprang out, long and thick and rock-hard. Moistening my lips with the tip of my tongue, I wrapped my hand around the base, and he let out a groan.
“Let me see your face,” he muttered. I tipped my head back and looked up at him as I opened my mouth and took him in. I’d never had a man in my mouth before, and it was hotter than I expected. Really hot. Every little lick and movement of my lips drew a sound of appreciation from him, which encouraged me to go deeper and deeper until he slid right to the back of my throat. His fingers tangled in my hair, wanting more of me, and it drove me crazy. My pussy throbbed as he slid in and out of my mouth, watching me all the time.
At last he withdrew and pulled me to my feet. “I wish we had a bed here,” he said.
I opened my mouth to say Rael had said something similar, but thought better of it.
“You’re so beautiful, Ranger,” he murmured, stroking my face, then my breasts through the fabric of my bra.
I stiffened. “I’d kind of been under the impression you only wanted me because the others had sex with me first.”
“Are you crazy?” As he gazed at me, the moonlight revealed the ice blue of his eyes. “Any man would be lucky to have you.”
Maintaining eye contact, I unfastened my bra and slipped it off, followed by my panties. “Where do you want me?” I said. It wasn’t the kind of thing I would normally say, but it felt right somehow.
“On the bench.” He tapped the tabletop for emphasis. “Spread your legs for me.”
My clit jolted. There was something wrong, yet very hot about doing exactly what he told me. I went over to the end of the table, sat on it, leaned back a little and spread my thighs apart. The soft breeze cooled my wetness and made me shudder.
“Perfect,” he crooned, standing a foot away from me, gazing at me as I waited for him. He didn’t seem to be in any particular hurry, and I got the feeling he enjoyed having me at his mercy like this. But suddenly, he dipped his head and gave me a long lick. I was so aroused that the touch of his tongue was electric and I cried out like the wild animal I was. He grasped my thighs and tipped me farther back, then he plunged his tongue inside me. Wow, it was long. I put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from making too much noise as he licked me skillfully, moving onto my clit and sucking it a little with his lips. The combination of his tongue and his lips was too much, and it wasn’t long before I started to shudder all over. My hips jerked back and forth of their own accord, and seconds later I reached an orgasm, as sharp and jolting as if I’d been shocked.
He stood up, satisfaction showing all over his face.
“That was great,” I said breathily. “You’re so good at that.”
“You taste so good. I could go down on you all day,” he growled. “But now I’m going to make you mine.”
He grasped my hips in both his hands, and in a moment, he was inside me. I was still hyper-aroused from my orgasm, so much so that it almost hurt, and I yelped as he filled me all the way. But as his pelvis hit my clit, it started to feel really good. He held me against his body as he thrust into me, my breasts crushed against the contours of his chest. Soon, he flipped me onto my side, then face down, bent right over the table, while he kept up a hard, fast rhythm. It felt wild and rough and dirty, and I loved it in a different way from the sex I’d had already. I clenched around him in fast little spasms, and suddenly I was coming again and again in time with his thrusts. He kept going until I collapsed like a rag doll on the table, and at last, he came with a deep sound of satisfaction.
We got dressed again quickly then walked back to the camp in silence. As we approached the others, I glanced at him sideways, but he ducked his head, as if he was feeling sheepish. I swallowed hard as an attack of nerves hit me. I didn’t know how the other two were going to react, especially Rael, since I hadn’t spoken to him about the concept of sharing.
“Hi, guys,” Rael called, waving as we approached. “Did you hunt anything?”
“N-no,” I stammered.
“Rael tried in the other direction,” Zain said, “but there’s not a whole lot
out here. So, it looks like it’s our old friend buckwheat again.”
I went to help them lay the food out on the lids of the plastic boxes since there were no tables, full of relief that neither of them seemed to be angry or hostile.
It was very dark, and we could barely see anything as we portioned out the food.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get the opportunity to stock up on more food in New Vegas,” I said as we sat down to eat.
“It’s not your fault. Don’t think that for a second,” Zain said, and I could see even in the darkness that he was regarding me kindly.
“No, blame my evil doppelgänger,” I said, with an extravagant sigh.
“I was thinking,” Rael began, “you should go away and leave us alone after dinner.”
“What?” Oran and Zain said in unison.
Rael laughed. “I didn’t mean it as something final. There’s no way of getting away from us now.” His words ended in a purr which both confused and intrigued me.
“I just want you to help me test something out,” he continued.
I shrugged. “Okay. Where do you want me to go?”
“Why don’t you follow the path back to the road and walk a little way?”
“Is this some kind of trick?” I said, trying to make out his expression.
“Of course not. You have my word,” he said.
“And you’re not going to tell me what it’s about?”
“It will be more authentic if you’re not second-guessing the results.”
I sighed and got to my feet. “Okay, here goes.”
I started walking back the way we’d come. I could just make out the path by the light of the moon, and before long, I reached the road. I turned right and kept going. It felt awfully lonely. My wolf whimpered. She wanted me to return to the others. And I wanted to go back, too. A cool breeze whipped up and the world seemed an empty, sad place, whereas being with the guys felt like warmth and light and happiness.
I wasn’t in any physical pain. It wasn’t like last time when I ended up crawling desperately on my hands and knees. But there was an anguish in my soul, and more than anything I longed to turn around and sprint the way I’d just come.
