Kaia let out a short, sharp bark.
Pushing out a gush of air, Ty tried to laugh. The sound was off, rusty and forced. “I guess it’s time to get this over with.”
Forcefully pulling his gaze from the house, Ty climbed from the car. He opened the back door wide and gave the command for Kaia to jump down. He didn’t bother with a leash. A Belgian Malinois, she’d been trained as an SSD, a specialized search dog, and had spent the better part of five years scenting for explosives and bombs, primarily following voice commands. She was extremely intelligent and very obedient. All of their dogs were.
It was hard not to be partial to his own partner, Echo, waiting for him back in Afghanistan, but he was just as comfortable with Kaia.
The dog’s long, lithe body stretched forward, then didn’t hesitate, bounding from the SUV, and landing on the ground with a stuttered gait. The loss of her left front leg barely even slowed her down.
But Ty remembered. The sight of Ryan’s soot-covered, broken body in the rubble. Kaia, her fur matted with blood—Ryan’s and hers—lying over him. Protecting him. Unwilling to move even as a burning fire raged just feet away, her hair smoking from the heat.
Ty recalled the pain and sadness that had filled her eyes when he had finally reached them, pulling his best friend and the dog who’d tried to protect him to cover—it had been too late to save Ryan. And Kaia had almost lost her life as well.
Weeks of surgery and therapy. Months of waiting for her to be medically cleared, released from service and then pronounced adoptable before he’d been able to even make the argument she should be sent home to Ryan’s family. A trip that he’d paid for out of his own pocket since the military didn’t cover the expense of transporting retired dogs to their new homes.
Worth every goddamn penny. It was the least he owed his best friend.
Ordering Kaia to heel with a simple hand gesture, Ty turned from the car, but then stopped a step away. The dog followed his lead, even without a command, pressing her shoulder against his thigh to compensate for the loss of her limb.
The porch was no longer empty. Van stood there, arms crossed over her chest, watching him. Watching them both.
Her expression was...unreadable. Distant and closed. But that wasn’t unusual when he was around. Did she remember the last time they’d seen each other? Or had she been so affected by the alcohol and grief that the memories had disappeared?
Those memories, the way her body had felt against his. The scent of her skin. The tangy, tempting taste of her mouth... He remembered every second.
But, even if she did remember, he fully expected Van to pretend she didn’t. Because they both knew that single night was a...well, mistake was the wrong word because it implied he hadn’t wanted it to happen, which definitely wasn’t true. That night had been a fantasy, even as he’d known Van was grieving and wanted nothing more than a physical release from the pressure of her loss.
It was clear from her expression that the remote, disapproving woman he’d grown to expect was back today. Van hadn’t always been that way with him. There’d been a time when he’d considered her as much a friend as Ryan. But it had been a long while since that was true.
Her skin was still creamy pale. Her hair, loose and blowing in the soft morning breeze, a rich, dark brown that bordered on black. Her eyes were a pale green and he knew, up close, they had flecks of golden brown shot through them.
But it was the tilt of her chin that always got him. The cool, calm bravado she approached everything with. Competence and confidence. Van’s philosophy was very much to fake it till you make it.
Nothing ruffled her feathers, least of all him.
A stinging pain lanced through his chest. Ty stopped himself from reaching up to rub at it, the motion a pointless reflex. He knew by now that nothing would take it away.
He took a step forward. Kaia lurched up, hop-stepping in time with his movements, staying perfectly even with his hip as he moved to close the gap between them.
Something sharp flashed through Van’s gaze as she watched the dog’s halting progress. Her body swayed as they reached the front steps, as if she wanted to reach out. Help.
But she didn’t.
Ty didn’t stop at the bottom. He didn’t even pause at the top. He kept moving until he could feel the heat drifting from her body. Leaning down into her personal space, he pressed his lips to her temple. Her body stiffened. He wasn’t touching her anywhere else, but he could still feel it. Her tension radiated out like a magnet flipped to its opposing pole, trying to push him away.
“It’s good to see you, Van.”
She didn’t respond. Didn’t have to. He knew she didn’t agree.
Pulling away from him, her gaze skittered over his face for several seconds, then down his body, tracing each arm, his torso, legs and feet, until it came to rest at the dog sitting patiently beside him.
“Kaia?” she finally asked in her soft, smooth voice, the one that always sent a wave of longing washing over him. Today was no different.
Ty nodded, placing a hand on the furred head at his hip, scratching behind her ears.
Van slowly sank in front of him. She didn’t reach out to the dog. Instead, she wrapped her arms around her own folded legs, hugging her body into a tight ball. The two stared at each other for several seconds, neither of them moving.
Finally, she extended a hand. Her fingers trembled. If he hadn’t been watching he might not have noticed the tiny crack in her smooth exterior. Van was good at bottling her emotions. Until she wasn’t, and then the explosion...
He’d experienced her anger and passion on several occasions. It was a sight to behold.
Her wide mouth tugged down at the corners, the hint of a frown.
“I’m so sorry,” she breathed out, her fingers slipping hesitantly over the spot where the vet had sewn up Kaia’s leg. The dog didn’t flinch or move, just sat quietly.
Van’s hand drifted upward, coming to rest on the fuzzy head. She looked straight into Kaia’s watchful gaze and whispered, “Thank you.”
Ty fought against the lump forming in his throat. He wanted to look away, but the motion of Van standing up pulled his attention back.
This time her gaze flicked over him quickly, there and away. She turned her back to him, tossing words over her shoulder. “I guess you should come in.”
* * *
VAN DIDN’T WANT him there. Didn’t want him in her home.
She didn’t bother to look back to see if he was following her inside. She didn’t have to. She knew.
Where Ty Colson was concerned, she had a sixth sense and always had. Growing up, he’d been a fixture in her family. Ryan had been his shadow, following his lead into whatever trouble the wild boy could dream up.
And, oh, Ty could dream up a shit-ton of trouble.
She’d been the annoying little sister relentlessly tagging along. The high-pitched voice of reason always cautioning that they were going to get caught and punished. Quick to say, “I told you so,” when her predictions came true.
But somewhere along the way, her childish fascination with him morphed into something more. An adolescent crush that made her feel awkward around the boy she’d known most of her life.
To her, Ty Colson was perfect. Adventurous. Wild and uninhibited. Remote to almost everyone...except her. There were times she’d envied the freedom he always had, even as she realized it meant no one at home cared enough to rein him in. She’d seen his wounds and wanted nothing more than to soothe them.
Until his antics got both boys in real trouble and sent her brother’s life careening off course.
Her simple, innocent attraction to him had gotten muddled up with resentment and blame. Not that those emotions had stemmed the physical awareness.
So damn frustrating.
Eve
n now, Van could feel him, walking several paces behind her. She could sense the motion of his body as he tempered his gait to match the wounded dog at his side.
She couldn’t seem to turn off the relief she’d felt when he’d first walked up, her gaze devouring him, searching for signs of wear and injury. There’d been a pressure in her chest until she could see for herself that he was okay. Even as her brain told her she shouldn’t care.
God, what was wrong with her? Ty had gotten her brother killed. Maybe not directly, but he was responsible. Ryan never should have been in Afghanistan. Never should have become a dog handler, searching the unforgiving terrain for explosive devices just waiting to maim and kill.
Van walked straight back to the kitchen, which looked out onto the yard. When she was growing up, her family had always gathered in the kitchen. Now, in her own home, the kitchen gave her peace—it was the place she came to when she needed a break from the storm her life could be.
It was the only place where she felt like she could breathe deeply.
Out of the corner of her eye, she registered Ty standing in the middle of her doorway. Just there, watching, waiting. For what, she wasn’t sure. And that left her restless.
Needing something to do, Van lifted the mug of coffee she’d left on the counter when she’d heard Ty drive up and took a sip, making a face when she realized it had gone cold.
Nothing worse than cold coffee.
Dumping it out, she popped another pod into the machine, pushed the button and let it run.
This day was going to require copious amounts of caffeine.
Not only was she an emotional wreck, but she’d just gotten off back-to-back shifts at the hospital. They’d had a late-night trauma call, gunshot to the abdomen. The guy had coded on her table twice before finally stabilizing enough for them to transport him to surgery.
Even now, she had no idea if he’d made it or not. One of the downfalls of ER medicine. She patched them up, sent them either out the door or on to someone else and then rarely knew what happened next.
But the rush of saving someone’s life...worth every second of exhaustion.
While her coffee was brewing, Van reached into a cupboard and pulled down a bright turquoise Fiesta bowl. She filled it with water and placed it on the floor near the sink.
“Do you have food for her?” she asked.
There was no point in pleasantries with the man who’d sauntered closer and was now leaning against the edge of her kitchen island. Way too much history between them to bother.
“In the car. I’ll get it in a bit.”
The low timbre of his voice slipped across her skin, giving her goose bumps. He might as well have touched her, given the effect he had.
Dammit.
Clenching her teeth, Van turned. Better to get this over with.
“How long will you be in town?”
There was a part of her that didn’t want to ask. Didn’t want to know when he’d be returning to the same dangerous place that had taken her brother. But the rest of her needed to know just how long she’d have to deal with the tension stringing her body so tight she was afraid she might snap.
“I’ve got two weeks. I figured I’d stay here for a bit. The town council asked me to ride with Kaia as marshal in the Fourth of July parade.”
Great. They’d asked her to as well. Not that she’d expected to avoid him the entire time, but she was hoping to minimize their interaction.
Van just nodded, keeping the information that she’d be there, too, to herself. Maybe she could find a way out of it. If he was there, what did they need her for?
It was bad enough that they were going to be honoring Ryan. She wasn’t sure she could deal with the pain of it all again. Losing him was still too raw.
“I’ll see how you and Kaia are coming along with your training. If you guys are good then I might head to a beach somewhere for a few days before I go back.”
“Training?”
A frown creased the spot right between his blue-gray eyes. She’d always been fascinated with them. The color was so...unusual. And it changed depending on what he wore or what mood he was in.
When she was younger, she used to make up excuses to loiter in the same room as the boys, pretending to read a book or watch a movie. In reality, she’d observed him. Noticed how he guarded himself with everyone—except her family.
As a teenager, she’d watched him go through girls, and fought against the jealousy she couldn’t quite conquer. He’d take them out. Treat them like queens. But never really give them anything of himself. No girl lasted more than a few weeks.
In high school, he’d gotten a reputation for being aloof, but stellar in bed. Details she really hadn’t wanted to know—because it only made her fantasies about him worse—but couldn’t quite escape. Van had gotten sick of being the go-to girl for information and advice on how to catch him. Everyone seemed to think she held the code.
And maybe she did. She had to admit, it’d felt amazing to have him come up to her during a football game, sling his arm around her shoulder and include her in whatever conversation he had going.
As far as she knew, he’d never had a long-term relationship. Not that his career really offered the opportunity to find love.
That was a laugh. Because neither did hers. Eight years of college and medical school, four years of residency. Long hours in the ER and plenty of stress. She’d tried dating in her mid-twenties. Had a solid relationship that lasted about eight months.
Ty shifted, his hips sliding against the counter behind him. God, he looked good. But, then, he always had. His biceps bulged against the tight sleeves of the faded T-shirt he’d thrown on this morning. Ink snaked down his right arm, stark black against the golden tan of his skin.
His thighs were huge. She’d bet she couldn’t wrap both hands around the circumference of one. She’d kill to see him in a pair of running shorts, the ropy muscles bunching and straining with movement. She was definitely a leg and ass girl.
“I had to sign an agreement, on your behalf.”
It took Van several seconds to realize what Ty was talking about. Oh, yeah, they were discussing the dog...and not Ty Colson’s fine physique.
“Kaia can no longer be used for security or patrolling, but she knows plenty of commands, most of them you shouldn’t need. Since I’m here, I wanted to teach you the few that would be useful.”
Van’s eyes went wide. Honestly, when her parents had first told her Ty had contacted them about adopting Kaia she hadn’t known how to feel. Conflicted was really the only choice.
She’d heard Ty tell friends and family at the funeral about how Kaia had stayed with Ryan at the end, draping her body over his in a valiant attempt to shield him, despite her own injuries. She was a soldier, willing to die, and deserved to be rewarded for her service.
But every time Van’s gaze met Kaia’s, taking in her dark brown, watchful eyes and missing leg, a blast of grief shot through her chest. The dog was going to be a constant reminder of Ryan’s death. One she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to endure.
She’d actually been talking about getting a dog for months. She was out of her residency and established in her new career. Tired of coming home to an empty house. She’d mentioned it to her parents, knowing she’d need their help on the days she worked long shifts.
She’d been ready to pull the trigger, but her plans had been put on hold when they’d received word that Ryan had died. And since then it just hadn’t felt right.
But now, how could she say no to taking Kaia? Just thinking about it had made her feel guilty as hell.
Although, if she’d known agreeing would include training sessions with Ty, she probably would have worked harder to find a reason to refuse.
If looking at Kaia had her conflicted, looking at Ty was so muc
h worse.
She hated him. She cared about him. She wanted to hurt him the way she was hurting. She wanted to make sure he was okay.
Honestly, she had no idea what to do with the man and the jumble of emotions he made her feel. It was so much easier just not to deal with them...or him.
But that plan wasn’t going to work for the next couple weeks.
Shit.
“Fine. I took a couple weeks off work to get Kaia settled. I’m sure we can find some time to go over things. Why don’t you give me a call after you’ve checked into your hotel and we can set something up for tomorrow.” Might as well get this over with.
Ty nodded, a soft curl of dirty-blond hair flopping over into his eye. Her fingers tingled with the need to reach over and push it out of the way. Instead, she tightened her grip on the counter.
Silence pressed in on the moment, uncomfortably filling the space between them.
Words she didn’t want to say crawled up the back of her throat. But she swallowed them down. They wouldn’t change anything. Wouldn’t bring her brother back. Couldn’t purge the anger and grief, frustration and accusation. Or the unwanted desire and hot memories that had been haunting her dreams for the past four months.
So, as always, she stayed quiet, bottling it inside until the emotions were one big swirl of confusing sludge sucking at the center of her chest.
After several minutes, Ty said, “I’ll go get Kaia’s things,” and turned to walk away.
Van heard the front door open and close. Kaia’s ears pricked, but she didn’t move from her sentry position beside the doorway.
God, it was going to be a very long two weeks.
3
“AGAIN.”
Ty watched frustration pinch Van’s mouth. Given any other set of circumstances, the expression might have been endearing. It wasn’t often that Savannah Cantrell struggled with anything. She was a brilliant ER doctor and one of the most intelligent women Ty had ever met.
She’d always been better, smarter than he was. Hell, too wrapped up in his own anger and shitty life, he’d barely graduated high school.
Handle Me Page 3
