The band room was nothing glamorous, just sticker-covered walls and an old sofa on one side and a bunch of shelves on the opposite wall. I couldn’t sit on the sofa because someone had stacked speakers on it so I sat on the arm, waiting for Junichi. As well as Junichi and his band mates, there were four other people in the room. They looked like another band. The room was overcrowded and stuff sat around everywhere. I wondered if I should just go to the bar. Did Junichi even want me sticking around?
Before I could say anything, he smiled at me.
“Let’s get a drink,” he said. He grabbed my hand and we pushed our way to the bar. A few people at this place knew him and wanted to talk. I stood to the side, smiling and looking stupid. I wasn’t sure what else to do, since I couldn’t understand a word. It made me appreciate how easy I’d had it up to now. I’d barely noticed the language barrier. But here it was a total issue. I’d been in the country for over two months and had no hope of following their conversation. Hell, I’d hardly been outside my tiny bubble of other students doing exchanges and the Tachibana family.
I hadn’t even eaten sushi. What was I doing? I needed to eat sushi. And do other Japanese things. Sumo and ninja stuff and karaoke.
Finally, we reached the bar and Junichi got me a drink.
“Will you be okay on your own?” he asked.
I nodded. I had no problem with that. After all, I couldn’t expect him to look after me when he was playing.
“I’ll be right out after we finish.”
I sat down at the bar to wait for Junichi to come on. The last time I’d enjoyed them but had the whole tension of trying to figure out if it was actually Junichi and why he was playing. This time I could just relax.
When they came on stage, a bunch of people who’d just been standing around moved to the front. Wow, they had fans. Not that I should be surprised. They were awesome. But there’d been nothing like it last time.
My skin buzzed with the anticipation of seeing him play. I wanted this to be something special.
They began and I decided to move closer to the stage too. The Junichi who played music seemed like a whole different guy to me. Then he began to sing. The lyrics seemed to have some message meant only for me. That’s how it seemed. Even though he’d obviously written the song before he met me.
Wait. Did that mean he’d written it about some other girl? I didn’t like that one bit. Some other girl who wasn’t me. He thought about that girl. He had feelings for her. I’d hunt her down and make sure he never thought about her again. Bitch.
When he finished singing, he looked up in my direction. The smile he gave me felt like it embraced me from the stage. I was being stupid. How could I be jealous of a girl from his past? I didn’t need that kind of thing.
The next song was in Japanese so I had no idea what the words were about but it seemed rawer, angrier. The crowd loved it and I began swaying in time.
I went through the whole set looking at Junichi in a daze. He was magical up there. And that guy that everyone watched was going to be with me when he finished playing. I hugged myself, not able to wait until the moment we were alone and able to finish what we’d started at the storage place.
I wasn’t sure if I should go into the back room when Junichi finished playing. Maybe he needed some downtime. I had no idea. I figured I’d wait and give him some time to pack up. He’d left straight away last time but that was because he’d been shocked at seeing me there.
Another band set up. I ordered another drink and checked my phone. I sure as hell didn’t want to look like a clingy girlfriend. If I went back there, he’d probably be chatting with his band and I’d just be standing off to the side again.
After a while, he still hadn’t turned up and I looked around to see if he was off chatting to someone. He came storming across the room, almost knocking people down.
“Come on,” he said, grabbing my arm.
“Huh? I’ve not finished my drink.”
“So? I need to get out of here.”
I wanted to make some crack about him being a grumpypants but the look on his face stopped me. We rushed back to the car and he threw his guitar in the back seat.
“What’s up?” I asked. “Are you pissy with me.”
“No.”
No explanation. Nothing. Just a curt no.
His hands gripped the steering wheel tight and the anger came off him in waves. He’d been in a perfectly good mood before he went onstage and the show had gone well to my thinking. Maybe it was some temperamental artist thing. If I just left him alone, he’d get over it.
As we drove through the streets, he still didn’t talk. He even turned the music up so it would be hard to have a conversation. So much for his promises of later. I didn’t want to get all petulant just because we weren’t having sex but the frustration that had built in me all night didn’t help matters.
Finally, we got to the storage space. That would get things started, surely.
“Wait in the car.”
I did not like that tone of voice. Even if he was pissy about something, he didn’t have to take it out on me. I ignored him and got out my phone. He was a jerk. I’d always known it. I’d just been all cock-struck and had been nice to him because I wanted the sex, but that was all. I’d rather brave the risks of the freak car park than deal with his moods. That shining Junichi on stage had disappeared and I had no idea why.
CHAPTER 23
He didn’t take long putting his gear away. Then he smiled at me. That smile that melted me inside. Damn him. I’d not be melted that easily. He would work harder for my melting.
“So, what’s wrong?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“There’s something and if you don’t want to talk about it, I get that but you will not take out your shittiness on me. Understand?”
“Sorry.”
Wow, that was forced out but still better than nothing.
“It’s just those guys…”
I assumed he meant his bandmates.
“What about them?” I expected a bit of a rant about them not being up to his standards or something like that.
“I’m not in this as a career. It’s just a bit of fun. They need to understand that.”
Huh? That seemed to come out of nowhere. And hell, I’d gone from angry to wanting to touch him in a split second. The way his lip curled drove me crazy. He hurt. He tried to hide it but he definitely hurt.
“They want you to take it more seriously?”
His shoulders tensed. I thought he’d refuse to tell me more but he kept talking.
“They want a recording contract. There was someone in the audience tonight. He spoke to us after we played, made all sorts of promises. I told him no way. I’ve no intention of doing that kind of thing. Then Ryosuke and Ken got angry. They want it. They want the fame and the money and all that other stuff. I don’t. I’m quitting the band.”
Whoa. Was not expecting that. He said he was quitting the band but he wasn’t telling the truth. Sure, he might quit but he didn’t want to. I could read that much in him.
“Why not do it?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
That snappy, mean tone came back into his voice. I folded my arms and slumped back in the corner.
“You want to. You can’t deny it. As much as you say you don’t, deep down you do.”
The coldness came off him in waves. He’d completely closed himself off to me.
“If I want it or if I don’t, it makes no difference. I can’t do it so there’s nothing to discuss.”
Words pushed against me, wanting to come out. I had so much to say but that would just lead to a fight. Instead, I held them back. It was his life; he could screw it up if he liked.
I rested my head against the car window. This situation was impossible. I had a dull ache inside. But I didn’t care about Junichi, not like that. His opinions and his life were nothing to me. Soon I’d be gone and he’d be a distant memory. I had to remember that.
“This isn’t home.”
“I told you ‘later’.”
A doorman came to help me out of the car. We were at some fancy hotel. A small thrill went through me. If it hadn’t been for all that awkwardness in the car earlier, I’d be totally excited but the unsettled issues in the air took the edge off. They were there, those issues, like a tangible thing between us.
I followed him up to the room. If the doorman thought it was weird that we had no luggage, he didn’t show it. Maybe it was a normal thing for him. I wished Junichi had told me of his plans though, since I’d have liked to have some clean clothes for tomorrow.
The room was as swanky as hell. It was a bit of overkill, since we’d only be having sex there but I wasn’t going to complain about that. Actually, I wasn’t going to complain about anything with this icy chill between us.
I wasn’t even sure if the sex was going to happen. His broodiness was a definite mood killer.
I sat in an armchair by the window. He opened the fridge and got out a bottle of wine. While he opened it, I stared out the window. This was definitely an awkward situation. We should be ripping off each other’s clothes and getting it on, not acting like a couple who’d been married for twenty years.
He handed me a glass of wine and sat opposite me. I sipped the wine. It was nice. God, every muscle in my body tensed up, though. He said nothing. I said nothing. Lights shone outside, neon signs flashed. Inside, nothing happened. I studied his face but, as soon as he turned to me, I looked away.
I threw the wine back. It might be expensive shit but I needed a buzz. Keeping quiet drove me mad. I had things to say and it made my guts churn to even start.
I hated conflict. Sure, I could be mouthy, but when it came to real stuff, it was easier to lie and smile and not make trouble. Trouble got you a smack in the mouth or worse.
But I couldn’t be like that with Junichi. The unsaid things would kill us.
“Do it. Just do it. Stop being a soft cock and ring that guy and tell him you accept his offer.”
“I thought this conversation was over.”
“Well, it’s obviously not or you’d have not been brooding about it. If you seriously don’t want to accept the offer, you’d not be still on about it. Do what you want but be honest with yourself about it.”
His body tensed in a way that I knew meant he was angry with me. He’d not show it, though. Junichi turned cold when he got angry. I’d never seen him lose control. I waited for some biting remark.
“What do you know?”
“I know that you wouldn't be acting like this if you didn’t care. What are you going to do about it? Tell your parents you want to do the band stuff? What’s the worst they can do to you?”
He stood up and took our glasses over to the bench.
“See, you have no idea about my life. It’s okay for you with your painting studio and your crazy hair and your life. Your parents would probably be pleased if you wanted to join a band. They’d support you and —”
“Whoa, stop right there, buddy.” He said I knew nothing about his life? Like I had any support for anything I’d ever done. “You have no idea what my life is like. You think I have it easy? You’ve never had to work for anything in your life. You’ve never had to struggle. You just hold out your hand and get what you need.”
I stood up too. If he didn’t shut up, I’d leave. He didn’t understand, and he’d never understand. He’d sure as hell never had to climb out the window to avoid debt collectors at the front door. He’d never shivered at night because his father had pissed away the money to pay the electricity bill. He probably didn’t even realise what an electricity bill was.
“That’s why. You don’t understand gratitude or obligations.”
“No, I don’t. Your parents don’t own you. And, to be honest, I think it’d do you a world of good to have to make your own way. You talk about your obligation to them but I think you’re just scared. You want to take the easy path.”
I grabbed my bag.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving. It’s a waste of time me being here. Stay here and snuggle up to your obligations all night.”
I walked across the room.
“Go ahead. Leave.”
“Yeah, I don’t need your permission for that. I’m leaving.”
He wasn’t even going to try to try to stop me? We really were just fuck buddies. That was fine with me. I had no emotional investment in this relationship at all. Even if I had to sleep on the streets, it’d be better than being here with him.
I fumbled with the catch on the door. Stupid door. My hand shook as I tried to turn the knob. Before I could get it open, his arms wrapped around me. He held me tight, his body pressed against my back and his chin resting on my shoulder. He held me like he never wanted me to go.
“Don’t leave me,” he said.
“Huh?”
Before I could say any more, he’d turned me around and pushed me up against the wall, his lips covering mine. I didn’t want to kiss him. I tried to push him away but he grabbed my wrists. I struggled but he pressed me tighter, his body pushing against me. I had nowhere to go.
He kissed me roughly, wildly. All the pent up passion he’d withheld from me came out in that kiss until I couldn’t help but return it. All that was there was urgency and anger. Our lips fought with each other, both wanting control, both wanting to win.
That should’ve freaked me out. Since Sean, every time a guy tried to control me, I panicked. I struck out or I froze up. Every nerve in my body fought against it.
But, with Junichi, it just got me hotter. The more he tried to control me, the more I wanted him. Instead of panicking, my body arched against him. More than anything, I wanted to be his, because deep down I trusted him.
He loosened his grip on my wrists and I pulled my hands away. I could’ve left him like that but I didn’t. I entangled my hands in his hair, pulling him even closer.
His hands cupped my butt as he humped against me. This was not like him at all but the anger and the urgency just made me desperate. God, I needed him. Even when I hated him, when I wanted to slap him, I burned for him.
As his hands moved under my skirt, I moaned. He had my panties on the floor and his jeans off before I knew what was happening. He raised me up, his hands supporting me and drove himself hard into me, his cock entering me with a violent thrust. My back arched, wanting him in even further. His cock filled me, ramming into me.
My head fell back and he kissed my neck, those kisses become sharp bites as he drove himself into me. Each bite hurt in a way that sent buzzes straight to my clit. Oh god, I thought I’d come just from him biting me.
I knew as long as I lived, I’d never find a man who could please me the way Junichi did.
The next morning, I realised nothing was resolved between us. There was just sex. That’s all it was. As Junichi lay sleeping beside me, I watched his chest rise with each breath. My breathing matched his and each inhale was a shot of pain to my heart.
This guy, with all his faults and all his issues, was not someone I wanted to leave behind. Our time together was limited and that limit was coming dangerously soon. Soon, I’d be on the plane and flying far away from him. And that would kill me.
The way his eyelashes gently flickered as he slept, the way his face lost the hardness. As much as I fought it, I knew then that my feelings for him went way deeper than I’d ever intended. I could never picture a future with the two of us together, only that we had to make the most of every precious moment we had.
I knew one thing for sure. He must never find out about the agreement I had with his parents. Not that there was any risk of him finding out. I’d get the money off them and leave and that would be the end of things.
CHAPTER 24
“Maybe we shouldn’t go in together.”
“Yeah, Sunshine, you should’ve thought that before we
pulled up in the driveway.”
It was unlikely anyone was home at the Tachibanas. Saturdays seemed to be always filled with activities. Still, it was risky us coming home together when we’d both been out all night.
“If anyone sees us, just say I saw you walking home from the station and gave you a lift.”
“Yeah, right. Or we could just say we’d been out shagging all night.” God, and again this morning. If the house was empty, we’d probably be up to it again five minutes after we walked in the door. Just being in the car with the smell of him beside me made me want to jump him. I hurt and knew I had bruises over my body but that just made me want him more. Angry sex, obviously the best sex.
“We will not tell anyone we were shagging!”
I loved seeing the shock on his face.
“What? It’s not like your parents expect you to be a virgin.”
“Yeah, I’d just rather not have any discussion about my sex life at all. And you definitely can’t say that in front of Shun and Yumi.”
“As if.”
If we were dating and had plans for a happily ever after then sure, I’d tell them. But it would be wrong for them to know we were just shagging.
I so wanted to kiss him. Right here in the driveway outside the house. I wanted to pull him to me and kiss him hard. Let the rest of the world be damned.
The house seemed empty when we got inside. Lucky. Junichi went to the kitchen and I headed to my room to change my clothes. I’d had a shower before leaving the hotel. Well, we’d had a shower. But I’d had to put my manky clothes back on afterwards. That was unpleasant, especially those knickers.
I knew I had a goofy smile on my face as I went up the stairs. It didn’t matter. There was no one to see.
Except I almost barrelled into Mrs Tachibana. Where had she come from? She seemed to lurk around the house, waiting for inopportune moments to pounce on me.
“Sorry.” I tried to push my way past her.
“You and Junichi were out all night?”
Guilt rose in me for no reason. I had nothing to feel guilty about and nothing to hide. What did she even care? She was the one who’d set this up in the first place.
Seduction Game (Art and Soul) Page 12
