by June Kramin
“Hey, buddy. Can I help?”
“I think I have everything. Her suitcase of clothes is packed. I thought she’d want some toys.”
“Dude. I’ve been to your parents’ place. They have a friggin’ Toys- R-Us there. She’ll be fine.”
“I know. Ali likes to sleep with this one rabbit; I can’t find it.”
“The white one with the pink ribbon on its neck?”
“Yeah.”
“She was holding it when I walked in.”
“Shit.” Dusty sat down on the bed and lowered his head to his knees.
Dean took a seat next to him. “What gives? You’re taking this harder than I thought you would. I know she was your wife’s best friend and all, but still, Dust. You’re more off than usual.”
“I feel like I missed something. Like…you know. This could have been prevented.”
“What could you have done? I had a cousin do the same thing. He had cancer and got sick of being told he was going to die. They didn’t even give him a year, but the wait must have been driving him crazy. Every visit they gave him a couple more months. Somewhere into his third year he blew his brains out. He was sick of waiting to die.”
“This is helping me how?”
“I’m just sayin’. Court was a strong person, but knowing you’re going to die is enough to send the strongest person in the world over the edge. I’m sure she was too damn proud for her own good and refused to watch herself go downhill.”
“But she had so much time.”
Dean slumped his shoulders down. He pinched at the bridge of his nose as if he were fighting tears, swallowing hard before he spoke. “Her mind worked differently. She was stubborn in many ways. Remember the ride she had me on when we were dating? I loved her, man, but she never would commit and decide to stay with me.”
Dusty knew he must be missing something from his memories. Other than them going to the frat party, he and Courtney seemed to be doing great. “Refresh my memory. What happened with you two? I remember things going so well there for a while.”
“I honestly think she kept trying to beat me to the punch.”
“What punch?”
“You know. Dump me before I could dump her. I really was more attached than I wanted to be, but I could only fight her for so long. She kept shoving me away and I finally let her go. I never wanted to…” His voiced trailed away and he cleared his throat then slapped Dusty’s knee. “Come on. We gotta go. Our plane leaves in four hours. That gives us enough time to get the kids to your folks and just enough to get to the airport for our groping.”
“Thanks for coming along. I don’t know how Katie will be, but I’m glad to have you.”
Dean stood, then pulled Dusty to his feet as well. They shared a quick “man-hug” then Dean walked him to the window. He pointed out to the limo. “Fully stocked bar. Should have stayed in law school, dude.”
Things moved quickly at Dusty’s parents’. His mother was excited to have the kids for an extended stay. She was waiting on the front steps and clapped her hands together when she saw the limo. It barely came to a stop before she came rushing over to it.
“Gramma!” Ali shouted before climbing over her father to get out of the car. Dusty allowed her to be out of her booster chair since it was a limo, as long as she didn’t rat him out to her mother.
Dusty was right behind her, accepting a long hug from his mom when Ali ran over to May, who had joined them. In her embrace, Dusty couldn’t fight the tears that had been building since he took Katie’s call. Now that they were here, leaving them was even harder than he’d anticipated. All he wanted while he was trying to help Courtney was to return to his children. Leaving them now because he didn’t succeed weighed heavy on him.
“It’s okay,” Norma said as she rocked with him. “Go to your wife, son. She needs you. The kids can stay as long as you need them to. They’ll be fine.”
“Thanks.” Dusty cleared his throat and ran the palm of his hands over his eyes. “I hope Dad doesn’t mind the chaos.” He and his father butted heads on a regular basis when he was younger, but he had done a complete turnaround with the grandkids. Dusty hardly recognized the man who played with his children.
“Are you kidding? He’s leaving work early today. Should be here any minute. Took the next two days off, too.”
“Tell him I’m sorry we couldn’t stick around to see him.” The last thing Dusty wanted was for his father to see he’d been crying.
Dean climbed out of the car with Alex asleep on his shoulder.
“Where do you want him?” he asked Norma.
May barged over. “Right here in my arms. You two boys bring in their things.”
Once they were back in the limo, Dean poured them each a drink. Dusty protested. “Dude, it’s not even eleven.”
“It’s for your nerves. You look like hell, man.”
Dusty accepted the cup and downed the shot. “Great. Booze for breakfast. Just like the good old days.”
“I’ll buy you something to eat at the airport.”
“I’m not broke, y’know.”
“I know. It feels good to be helping. Shitty excuse to get some guy time.”
Dusty held out his glass again for Dean to fill. “I don’t know how I’m going to get Katie through this. They were closer than sisters.”
“Speaking of sisters, did you call Alyson?”
“Not yet. There wasn’t time this morning. I’ll wait until we’re home. She’ll probably want to stay with Katie for a few days. She’d met Courtney a few times, but it’s not like they were friends on their own.”
“It’s a shame dudes have that ‘no banging your best friend’s sister’ rule. I would have loved a piece of that.”
Dusty managed a laugh and returned the glass to its holder. “This fucking sucks, but I’m glad you’re with me, asswipe.” He closed his eyes and again chastised himself for not being able to do anything about it. What the hell went wrong?
Dean shook Dusty awake. “Come on, sleeping beauty. We’re here.”
It took Dusty a second to get oriented. He’d fallen asleep in the limo. The booze knocked him out cold for the hour ride. The driver gave them their bags from the back and they used curbside check-in. The line for security was faster than usual. Amazingly, they had all the lanes opened up over the lunch hour.
They found an empty table at Wolfgang Pucks and ordered some food. Dusty declined a beer, but Dean overruled him with the waitress. “Make it two,” he told her. “The big baby can take it.”
Despite his growling stomach, Dusty only managed about half of the enormous burger.
“Who’s Frank?” Dean asked, causing Dusty to choke on a French fry.
“Huh?” he said, stalling while he could think of an answer.
“Frank. You mumbled his name in your sleep.”
“Just a dude. Kinda pissing me off right now.”
“Guy from work?”
“Yeah. I guess you could say that.”
“Want me to get a hit out on him?”
Damn Dean. Only he could make Dusty laugh when he felt like this. “If I could send you to him, I’d consider the shit out of that.”
“Anything I can do?”
“Guess not. Not anymore anyway.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Naw. You’d only lock me up in the closest looney bin.”
“I’m here when you’re ready.”
“I know. Thanks.”
Dusty walked into Courtney’s house without knocking. Katie caught sight of him from the living room, immediately ran over, and flew into his arms. He held her tight as she sobbed into his shoulder. Katie’s crying was inconsolable, as if she’d held back her tears until he showed up. He picked her up; she wrapped her legs around him. As he rocked with her, Dusty glanced around the room. Most were faces he didn’t know. Wanting to give Katie some privacy, he took off down the hall. Having visited Courtney with Katie a few times, he knew his way around the house. He walked them to Cou
rtney’s room and closed the door.
Sitting down on the bed, he continued to hold her tight. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here.” Her violent sobs finally started to settle down. He sat with her, stroking her back.
“I found her,” she said, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. “Damn her for putting me through that.”
“Shhhh…it’s over, baby.”
“Far from it.” She sniffed and leaned back, reaching for a tissue on the nightstand. “Her parents, aunts, and uncles just showed up. I’m a mess.”
He held her face in his hands. “You’re beautiful.”
She pushed his hands away. “I don’t give a shit what I look like. I don’t know what to say to these people. They look at me funny, Dusty. I show up and all of a sudden she kills herself. I can’t imagine what’s going through their minds.”
“Did they know about her diagnosis?”
“As far as I know, no. I was the first one she called.”
“Did she leave a note at all?”
“No.” She flopped into his chest again. “This is so unfair.”
“There you are.”
Katie turned to the sound of the familiar voice. “What are you doing here?” she said harshly.
“Your old man was in rough shape. I thought I should come along. How are you, darlin’?”
“How am I?” She quickly climbed off Dusty’s lap and took the distance to Dean in two strides. “How am I? I just found my best friend dead in her bathtub. The last person she talked to was you. What the hell did you say to her?” Katie pounded her fists into Dean’s chest. He quickly grabbed her wrists after she hit him again. “What did you do, Dean?”
“Hey. You’re not going to do this to me, Katie. Don’t put this on me. You’re ripping my heart out here. You know I wouldn’t say anything to hurt her. I loved her, dammit. She’s the one that always pushed me away.”
Katie leaned into his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so angry with her. She didn’t have to do this.”
He released his hold on her arms and wrapped his around her. “Did she tell you I was out here a few months ago?”
She leaned back. “You were?” Dusty said it at the same time. Dean had never told him that, either.
“I wanted to get back together. And for good this time. I was tired of this on again, off again, long distance crap. I wanted her to move home.”
“What happened?” Katie asked.
“She obviously turned me down. I thought about moving out here. I can’t stand this damn gloom, but I would have done it for her. She told me she was over me and doing some doctor, but I knew it wasn’t serious. I think she was doing what she always did. Act like sex was just sex and she didn’t want or need love. She did a number on my heart over the years, Katie. Lord knows I tried to make it work.”
“Oh, Dean. I’m so sorry.” Katie continued to hug him.
“I need to sit down.” She walked him over to the bed and sat between the men.
Dean started to explain. “I called last night to talk to her again. I didn’t care that she was sick. I wanted to move here anyway.” Dusty saw a tear fall from his eye. “She said she’d think about it and call me today. I guess I did kill her.”
Katie stood, wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him to her chest as he cried. Dusty left the room to give his friend some dignity. He had been mingling with everyone, trying to figure out who was who, when Katie called him back into the room a while later. When he walked in, they were sitting on the bed, holding hands.
“Hell of a set of pillows your wife has, dude,” Dean said with a grin.
“Keep your face outta her tits, butt munch.”
“Hey. I would’ve found a reason to cry when Ali was little had I known the reward.”
Dusty gave him a playful smack on the back of his head. He was glad things were getting back to normal.
“I hate to interrupt this pitiful attempt at manly emotion,” Katie said, “but we need to talk. If it can be avoided, I don’t want to tell her family about her disease. I don’t want her to be the butt of rumors and speculations. This happened years ago and isn’t going to be fair to her memory. Do we have a deal?”
“Of course, babe.”
“Definitely,” Dean added. “I’d like to talk to the medical examiner and get a hold of him before anything is released. I’m officially her lawyer, anyway.”
“You are?” Dusty said with great surprise.
“Yeah. She wanted a lawyer she knew she could trust. Imagine that.”
“I’ll introduce you to her mother. She can let you know where to go.”
“I’d appreciate if you only let her know of my professional connection with Court, Katie. She never let me meet her family. It was another way of denying we were ever in a relationship. At least, that’s what she seemed to be doing.”
“Of course,” Katie agreed. “I think the less complicated we make this, the better.”
After Katie introduced Dean to Courtney’s mother, she lit up. “My Courtney’s Dean? It’s so nice to finally meet you. I wish it was under better circumstances.”
Dean was confused. “She mentioned me?”
“Of course she mentioned you, dear. She talked of you often. You were a dear friend to her for many years. I always thought you two would hook up someday.” She dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. “You’ll take care of the details of her will and such for me, won’t you?”
“Of course. It’s my job.”
“I know it has to be hard for you.”
“That’s an understatement, but I’ll get it done.”
“Bless you.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll get you the name of the funeral home where they took her.”
Dusty cuddled up tight to Katie when they finally crawled in bed that night. He knew she would be out in seconds. The crying had to exhaust her. Sleep wouldn’t come so easily for him. He had many days, if not years, of torturing himself over not having been able to change Courtney’s fate. Now he had the added guilt of sending her to her grave earlier for hooking her up with Dean.
Even though Dean had confessed that he loved her more than he ever let on, Dusty hadn’t owned up to the fact that he pushed them together all those years ago, trying to prevent her prematurely dying because of hooking up with Ronald. He didn’t know he’d fail and send her to the grave even sooner for loving Dean. He didn’t know if Katie would be able to forgive him for that.
He was miserable that Katie was so grief stricken, but grateful that her thoughts were preoccupied, otherwise she would have sensed something was up with him. He kissed the back of her head and hoped sleep would overtake him soon.
Chapter Seventeen
The next morning, Dusty didn’t feel nearly ready to get out of bed but the sun was blazing through the window, hollering at him to get up and get the day going. He couldn’t even pry his eyes open yet. They had a lot to do with funeral plans with Courtney’s mother; he was going to lie there until Katie gave the command to wake up. He cuddled up to the body next to him and gave the back of her head a kiss.
She let out a gentle moan and shifted a bit. Dusty jumped when he felt a hand on his crotch. “How’s my Cookie Monster this morning?” the voice asked sleepily. Shit. That wasn’t Katie.
Dusty bolted upright. “Stacey?”
She rolled to her back. “You were expecting someone else?”
Dusty looked around the room. He was in her dorm room. What the hell? He hadn’t been with Stacey for at least two months before he met Katie. She was enough to just about make him swear off women altogether. When the hell was he now?
He quickly slid out of her bed, wrapping the sheet around his waist.
“Uh…no. I remembered I have to pick up a friend. Sorry.” He quickly found his pants and pulled them on. Katie’s going to kill me! What the hell is going on?
Stacey sat up angrily, crossing her arms under her bare breasts. “You going to call me later?”
“Yes. Um, no. I’m sorry
, Stacey. I can’t. I’m sorry I let whatever happened last night happen, but I can’t see you anymore.”
“Whatever happened last night? That just happened to be—”
He put his hand up. “Please don’t say it. Look, I’m sorry.” He scrambled around the room looking for his shirt and socks. “It’s not you— it’s me.”
“That old line? I thought you were different, Dusty.”
“I can’t, okay? I’m sorry. School is hell and my dad is on my ass. I don’t have time to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Okay?”
“You’ll be sorry, Dustin Andrews.”
“I already am,” he mumbled under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing. I can’t find my right boot.”
Stacey climbed out of bed and strolled to the closet, flaunting her naked body. She pushed the door closed and found the boot against the wall. She walked over to him slowly with it, waving it back and forth. “You liked that corner. Are you sure I can’t get one more ride out of you and get you to change your mind?”
He swiped the boot from her hand. “I’m sorry. I really have to go.” He pulled his other boot on and hurried to the door. He said goodbye, but before he closed the door something she said made him step back in. “What was that?”
“Is your friend Dean seeing anyone?”
“No. I mean, yes. He has a pretty steady girl. Why?”
“I thought if you weren’t interested, I’d try him.”
Dusty stepped back in the room. The memories of her came back to him more clearly. He did have a hard time breaking up with her. She never would let it stick. He blamed himself since he gave in too many times after too many drinks. Boys will be boys.
“Look. I know we keep doing this, but I mean it this time.” He hoped he was at a place where that statement made sense. “Don’t go messing with Dean. He has a good thing going.”
She strolled up to him and ran her hand down his chest. “How else can I prove to you what a good thing you’ve let get away if I’m not as close as I can be to you and rub it in?”
He held her hand. “Look. I’m trying to be civil. I’m sorry if I’m coming across like a jerk. Don’t mess with Dean. I mean it. If you’re looking to dig your nails into a law student, there are plenty of us out there.”
