“Brady!” His talented fingers dazzled her body until every nerve ending was screaming with renewed tension.
He lifted his head to stare down into her passion-glazed eyes. “I’ve wanted this for days. Wanted you for days.”
“Me, as well,” she said, her voice a strangled whisper.
He pulled her in tightly to him and she felt the hard length of him pressing against her. She groaned, instinctively arching into him, wanting, needing, all of him.
“I can’t think about anything but you,” he admitted, dipping his head to kiss her shoulder.
Those words floated through her mind like a blessing until he spoke again.
“I don’t like it. I don’t want to want you.” He lifted his head to stare into her eyes. “But I can’t stop it.”
That should have been a bucket of ice water on her head. Instead, she was contrary enough to take it as a compliment. What better was there than for a strong man to be brought to his knees by a desire he hadn’t asked for? Hadn’t planned for?
She cupped his face in her palms and gave him her own confession in a breathless voice, and thought what an odd conversation this was to be having while they were naked and his hand was touching her so intimately.
“I’d no more interest in this happening than you, Brady Finn,” she said on a sigh. “I’d not thought to find you...this... And yet we’re here and I can’t find it in me to stop.”
“Thank God,” he whispered, and took her mouth again like a man seeking the answer to keeping him alive.
She nearly whimpered again when he pulled his hand free of her core, but he gave her no time for thought or regret. Instead, he spun her around and walked her toward the hall. Still kissing, still embracing, the two of them staggered like drunks into the bedroom and fell onto the bed, a tangle of limbs.
She ran her hands up and down his broad back, loving the slide of her skin against his. His body was amazing, strong and yet yielding, and completely and utterly focused on hers. Aine’s brain splintered under the onslaught of sensations pouring through her.
He dipped his head to her breasts and took first one then the other nipple into his mouth. His teeth and tongue tugged at her sensitive skin, and she felt the answering pulls deep within her.
He moved up and down her body, tasting, exploring every inch as if he couldn’t get enough of her, and she felt the same. She kissed him when he lowered his mouth to hers and felt the fires engulfing her again. Over and over, he stroked her body until she was nearly frantic with the desperate sort of need she’d never known before. It was as if that first heart-stopping climax hadn’t happened at all. Her body was raw and frantic for the next release.
He reared back on his heels, gaze locked with hers and grabbed her hips. Lifting her off the bed to position her just right, he swept into her heat in one long, powerful stroke that had her crying out his name.
She stared into his eyes and couldn’t have looked away if it meant her life. She watched as reaction to their joining etched itself on his features and thought she’d never seen anything more beautiful than this man in the throes of soul-shattering passion. There was tenderness along with the frantic need. There was intimacy as well as desire.
And that was when it hit her. A wild realization she hadn’t expected or wanted, but it was undeniable. She’d been wrong before—it wasn’t that she was incapable of love; she simply hadn’t met the right man until now. Brady Finn was it for her. But how could the right man be the wrong one, as well?
Oh, God help her, she loved him. It wasn’t simply passion and desire she felt. She loved this man of contradictions. He’d slipped into her heart and she very much feared he was there forever. Aine bit down on her lip to keep from telling him how she felt, as she knew he’d no wish to hear it. Whenever they were together she had the sense that he mentally kept one foot out the door, ready to make his escape before things could become...messy.
And now, she thought, reaching up to touch him, to run her fingertips over his face, down his neck and across his broad, muscular chest, it was too late for her to back away. Maybe it had been from the beginning. All she knew was that the man she loved was inside her, holding her, and that was enough.
As her body coiled into a tightened spring, Brady set a rhythm that she raced to match. Locking her legs around his hips, she pulled him higher and tighter at his every thrust. She wanted to hold him close enough that she’d never lose him. Her nails scored his back, her breath chugged out of her lungs and her head tipped back into the cool silk of the pillow beneath her.
“Look at me,” he ordered, his voice hardly more than a low growl of desperation. “I want to watch your eyes as I take you.”
Aine looked up at him, gaze locking with his. It took all she had to keep from whispering, “I love you,” as her body simply imploded with another orgasm so strong that shards of pleasure slid brokenly through her veins. She couldn’t look away from those shining blue eyes staring into hers. She clung to him, continuing to move her hips in time with his. Then he flipped her over until she straddled him and his body slid even higher into hers.
“Oh, my...” Her head fell back. His hands gripped her hips and guided her as she rocked on him, holding him deeply inside her. The glory of it filled her as completely as he did. There was something here, something rich and meaningful and desperately beautiful.
“Brady...” She looked down into his eyes and saw the flash of passion erupt, and a moment later felt his powerful body arch and tremble as he surrendered to the inevitable and emptied himself inside her.
* * *
Brady couldn’t remember the last time he’d let himself lose control like that. His body still humming with a damn near electrical buzz, he wrapped his arms around the woman sprawled across his chest. She’d shattered him. Pushed him beyond the edges of control.
His world was in pieces around him. She’d splintered his preconceptions and left him wondering what the hell had happened to him. For the first time in memory, he’d lost every ounce of self-discipline he’d spent a lifetime acquiring. Losing himself in her was something he hadn’t counted on. Hell, he hadn’t been that careless, that hungry with a woman since he was a kid. There’d been no seduction here. No romance, no soft sighs and tender touches. Just need. Hunger.
“Considering what’s just happened, you don’t look very happy.” She folded her arms across his chest and looked down at him.
“Yeah.” His body was plenty happy. It was his mind that wouldn’t give him any peace. Brady rolled to one side so she could stretch out on the mattress beside him. “Did I hurt you?”
He’d been rough and hadn’t intended to be, and that was lowering. But then, he hadn’t intended any of this to happen, so that made sense in a bizarre sort of way.
“Of course you didn’t hurt me,” Aine said, reaching out to smooth his hair back from his face. “What is it that’s worrying you so?”
The cool skim of her fingertips against his skin was more than he could take. He caught her hand and held it still. If she kept touching him, he’d have her again, because the need for her hadn’t ended as he’d hoped, but only grown. His gaze on hers now, he saw her smile and wondered how she could be so easy with what had just happened between them.
“What is it?” Brady went up on one elbow and stared down at her. “I practically forced you to—”
He broke off when she laughed. Ordinarily that musical, Irish-flavored sound would have ignited a fire inside him. Now it just astounded him.
Reaching up, she slid one hand up and down his arm. “I’m sorry, really. But to say I was nearly forced when I tore your clothes off you is really a bit much, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Okay, yes. You’re right.” But that didn’t change the fact that he’d broken his own personal creed about getting involved with an employee. Worse, one who was far from h
ome and probably more vulnerable than even she was aware.
It wasn’t only that burrowing through his mind, though, and Brady knew it. He’d allowed Aine to get close. Closer than anyone else ever had. She’d blinded him to everything but her, and he was still overwhelmed by all of it.
“I still shouldn’t have—”
“What?” she asked, grinning as she pushed her hair back from her face and sighed a little. “Used me so completely and thoroughly? If you think to apologize for that, I’ll tell you now there’s no need. I don’t bruise easily, and if I hadn’t been interested, I’m quite capable of saying no.” A contented sigh slipped from her. “As it is, I think we both did a fine job of it, don’t you?”
He stared at her. This had to be the weirdest after-sex conversation he’d ever had. Of course Aine Donovan would prove to be just as confusing in bed as she was out of it. Just another reason, he thought, to cut ties, to back away. She intrigued him constantly and she was already taking up way too many of his thoughts.
“You’ve still a frown on your face,” she pointed out.
“I don’t know what to make of you,” Brady admitted, scowling at the admission he hadn’t meant to make.
“That’s lovely,” she said with a pleased smile. “Thank you.”
“Wasn’t a compliment.”
She shrugged. “I’ll think of it as one, if it’s all the same to you.”
Darkness crept into the room inch by inch. Her eyes were in shadow now, so he couldn’t try to read them as he shared the real worry about this evening. The cost of his lack of self-control that clearly she hadn’t thought of yet. Damn it, Brady had built a life around responsibility, around being in control of himself and everything around him. Never once had he risked the life he’d built by being reckless. Until tonight. Knowing that he’d thrown all of that away in a moment of passion made him furious with himself.
Staring at her, he said, “All right, well, think of this, too. We were both too busy to notice we didn’t use protection.”
* * *
Aine paled, bolted upright, turned to the bedside table and flipped the lamp on. Shadows fled instantly, and when she looked at Brady she could see him blinking at the sudden bright light. He had taken her to heaven only to send her crashing back to earth with a thud.
Seconds ago she’d been thinking that love had sneaked up on her. That falling for Brady Finn had been inevitable. That it didn’t matter if she couldn’t have him; it was enough just to know that she loved. That she’d found something most people never knew.
Now...there was more. She was both terrified and oddly hopeful. Which went to show, she guessed, just how muddled her thinking was at the moment.
“So,” he said wryly, “now you see why I’m frowning.”
“Aye, I do.” Her stomach did a quick flip and her mind raced as she realized the possible ramifications of what had happened between her and Brady. She would be leaving soon. Going home to a job, a family and a country that she loved. And what if she was pregnant? What then?
Oh, she couldn’t wrap her mind around it.
Too many thoughts circled her brain like sharks, each taking a nibble, each demanding to be noticed. Yet how could she make sense of anything? Pregnant? Sliding off the bed, she dragged the duvet off the end of the mattress to wrap around her naked body. Holding it to her like a colorful, fluffy shield, she walked to the wide windows, then spun around and came back to the bed again. Whatever she might have said went unuttered when he spoke first.
“I wasn’t thinking,” Brady told her, and looked as though he’d rather bite off his own tongue than say what he added next. “Not since high school have I been so wrapped up in a woman that I forgot a damn condom.”
Aine would have smiled at that, because really, it was a lovely compliment. She could say the same, of course, but as he was so busy heaping coals on his own head she didn’t think he’d care to hear it. So she would give him what he needed. Calm. Cool. Deliberate.
“Well, then,” she said firmly, tightening her grasp on the duvet, “what’s done is done, so there’s no use fretting over what can’t be changed.”
“Fretting?” He pushed off the bed and stalked toward her, apparently completely comfortable being naked.
He was magnificent, was all she could think. Tanned and strong, and a ferocious look on his features that had her heart clutching in her chest and her breath staggering in odd little gasps.
Gripping her upper arms, he asked, “That’s what you think I’m doing? Fretting?”
“Of course not. I understand you’re upset. As am I. But what more is there to do about it?” she asked, shaking her head. “The horse is gone, so ’tis useless now to worry about locking the barn door.”
“Barn doors and horses,” he muttered darkly. “You’re damn right it’s too late now. But we need to talk about what might happen.”
“Don’t curse at me,” she said and pulled free of his grip. “We both know what might happen. Do you need me to say it? Then I will. I might be pregnant.”
Oh, just saying that word aloud made her knees tremble. Wishful thinking be blasted. How could she have been so foolish? So utterly careless? It wasn’t as if she were a shy virgin and this was her first time with a man. She was smart, capable and, right now, shaken to the core at what they’d done. But she wouldn’t show him just how unsettled she was. She’d her pride after all.
“What else is there to say?” she asked, lifting one hand in an eloquent shrug.
“Plenty,” he muttered, then turned and walked out of the room. “A man can’t have this kind of conversation naked.”
While he was gone, she took several deep breaths to steady her nerves. It didn’t really help. Her heartbeat skittered unsteadily, and when he came back he found her exactly where he’d left her. “If you’re pregnant...”
“That’s a big if, if you don’t mind my saying.”
“Why aren’t you upset?” he demanded, eyes narrowed on her.
She was, but there was a small part of her deep inside that wondered, would it really be so bad if she were pregnant? True, it wouldn’t be a perfect situation, but she’d always wanted a family. Crazy. Looking at Brady, though, she knew he would never see a baby as a happy accident. He was too busy railing against circumstances.
“Because it would do no good to be upset,” she said quietly. “Would you rather I weep and wail, perhaps keen a bit like the banshees you seem so fond of?”
“That would make more sense,” he admitted, throwing both hands high.
His frustration was nearly palpable. He was a man used to being in control, and so this had to be hard for him. She sympathized, but for her, there was simply no point in anguish before she knew if there was a reason for it. Brady might be used to ordering his world to follow his commands, but Aine was more accustomed to things spiraling out of her control.
“To you, perhaps,” she said softly. “But it’s not my way.”
“What is your way, Aine?”
“To wait and see, of course. There’s no point in worrying a bone before you have one, is there?” She pushed her hair back in an impatient gesture. “There’s an old Irish saying. ‘If you worry, you die. If you don’t worry, you die. So why worry?’”
“What the hell does that mean?” he shouted.
“Not to worry! Weren’t you listening?” Aine felt her own temper bubble and strain at the leash she had it on. Deliberately, she took another breath and told herself to calm down. “It was only the one time, Brady. I hardly think it’s worth this much concern.”
“It only takes once,” he reminded her tightly.
“Aye,” she said, “in books and movies.” Shaking her head, she continued, “I’ve a friend back home who tried for four years to get pregnant. Real life isn’t as predictable as fiction, so it’s a waste to
think it is.”
“Wishful thinking’s pretty much a waste, too.”
Strange, she thought, that his “wishful thinking” was hoping she wasn’t pregnant and her own was not as appalled at the idea of a baby as it should be. But planned for or not, a child would be a gift, and she refused to see it as anything else.
He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his slacks, inadvertently tugging them down farther over his abdomen. The man was too handsome by far, and as she watched him, Aine thought again that he could have been a pirate with that sharp gleam in his eyes and the tight scowl on his lips.
The silence between them stretched out into long, uncomfortable seconds that seemed to take on a life of their own. How could they have been so close only minutes ago and now seem as though they were separated by thousands of miles? When she couldn’t stand it anymore, Aine took one long step toward him. Reaching out, she laid one hand on his forearm and said, “This isn’t helping, Brady.”
At her touch, he went as stiff as stone and his features as blank as any marble statue. Why was she suddenly so cold? Was it the ice in his eyes?
Moving away, as if he couldn’t bear to be next to her for another minute, Brady began to pace the confines of the room like a trapped animal looking desperately for a way out. Aine’s heart hurt at the image. Even after what they’d just shared, he was anxious to be away from her.
“You’re right,” he finally said. “It’s not helping. There’s only one thing that will.” He pushed one hand through his hair and threw her a quick glance.
Aine buried her hurt. He was regretting what they’d found together. And maybe she should be, too. But Aine knew that no matter what happened next, she would never second-guess lying with Brady Finn. She’d discovered her love for him and found more pleasure in his arms than she’d ever known before. She couldn’t regret it, even knowing that nothing could come of it.
Still, she lifted her chin, kept a tight grip on the duvet she still held to herself and waited for him to speak again. She was determined not to let him see what she was feeling. To keep to herself the fact that his reaction to all of this was tearing at her heart.
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