by Lilly Atlas
“You gonna polish that off before riding back to the club?” she asked, worry deepening in her voice.
“Doesn’t concern you.” He was being a complete asshole, but he didn’t know how else to put some distance between them. He should have guessed Lila would see through his bullshit though.
“Striker, what are you doing?” Lila moved to the table and sat beside him, resting her forearms on the flat surface.
He decided there was no point in dragging this out. “Lila this isn’t going to work. You can’t make it in my world. We might as well not kid ourselves.” He took another hit of the Jack. This time when he placed the bottle back on the table she snatched it up. After a long drink of her own, she moved to the sink and upended the bottle. The contents flowed out and into the sink with a splash. “What the fuck are you doing?” he roared as he jumped to his feet.
“Don’t you think we cheated death enough for one day? I watched you get assaulted and thought you were going to be shot in front of my face. Now I’m supposed to sit here, and worry that you’ll be splattered all over the highway?” She sounded near tears.
He was such a piece of shit. If he thought he didn’t deserve her before, he sure as hell didn’t after the way he was treating her now. She’d been held by Snake for over twelve hours. She kept her cool the entire time, no matter what she must have been feeling inside.
Now, her concern was for him, not the fact that she’d been touched and taken by a sadistic monster. And how did he thank her? Not by holding her and loving her as she deserved, but by shoving her away with both hands.
“Lila, I saw you. Saw how you looked at me when I said we’d hand over the thief. You were disgusted with the fact that I could turn someone, a brother, over to Snake. Well, baby, that’s who I am. That’s what I do.” No longer having a bottle to busy his hands, he stood and paced the kitchen. “You can’t handle that. You can’t handle me. There’s no point in pretending otherwise.”
This wasn’t what he wanted, and the heart he rarely allowed to feel cracked a bit more as each word left his mouth.
“That’s what you do, huh? An everyday occurrence? Your brothers usually fuck you over, fuck your club over, and you’re just there to take them all out? Because it looked to me like ninety-nine percent of them love you and would lay down their lives to support you.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and continued to prowl around the kitchen.
Lila stepped in his path, and placed her hands on his chest to halt his motion. Her touch grounded him. It was the only thing that kept him from flying apart with the rage and fear tearing at him. Another man had touched his woman, in front of him, had rode off with her on the back of his bike, and he’d been powerless to do anything but watch. Fuck no, he didn’t deserve her.
“Seems to me you’re disgusted by the whole thing as well. It’s a horrifying situation, Striker. How was I supposed to react? Doesn’t mean I don’t get it, don’t understand what you had to do. You have an obligation to protect your club, your brothers.”
He looked at her incredulously. Was she for real?
“Whoever it was, he damn well knew the risk, right? No way he thought he’d get out alive if he got caught. I’m not even in the MC and I know your code. You don’t betray the club. I know that, and while yes, it’s upsetting, I can accept it. You seem to be the one having trouble with that.”
Why couldn’t she be like other women he knew? Why couldn’t she scream at him for getting her kidnapped by his enemies? Why couldn’t she throw something at him, and tell him what a scumbag she thought he was? Of course she had to be rational and accepting of him, making it that much harder to walk away. Suddenly the impact of the whole day crashed down on him. Betrayed by family, ambushed by his enemies, it tipped him over the edge.
“God damnit Lila,” Striker yelled. “He had his fucking hands on you. Do you understand that? He took you right from me. I was helpless to stop him. Can you imagine what he would have done if we hadn’t figured out it was Rock?”
Her eyes widened and filled, but she held back her tears. He felt a warring sense of shame and satisfaction knowing he got to her. “I understand exactly what would have happened, Striker. As you said, I’m the one he took.”
“So why the hell don’t you hate me? Why aren’t you kicking me in the nuts and damning me to hell? This is me, Lila. I’m an outlaw, I’m a killer. My loyalty is to my MC family, and I will destroy anyone who gets in their way. You do not belong here, and you’re crazy if you think you can deal with it, can deal with all the shit in me.” He got right up in her face as he ranted. Now that the beast was unleashed, he couldn’t seem to reign it back in.
Lila lost the battle to remain stoic, her heart cracked with every word he said, and a lone tear slid down her cheek. She swiped it away as she tried to come up with something to say to get through to him. The rational side of her knew he felt responsible, knew he was worried for her, and knew it had killed a little part of him having to turn a brother over to the Grimms, even if he’d been betrayed in the worst way, but the emotional side of her that was in love with him was starting to win out.
She turned and walked into the living room, needing a second to collect herself, but Striker followed.
He advanced on her as he raged, and she backed up until she hit the wall, pinned on the receiving end of his tirade. “I can handle you Striker. I’m not afraid of you, of what’s inside you.”
With a snarl, he grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head on the wall. His face was so close she saw the different shades of blue in his eyes. They were filled with guilt and anguish.
“You really think you can handle me like this? You still feel the same way about me knowing I sentenced a brother to death? When I come home with this darkness, and need to fuck it out of my system, you gonna handle that? What about right now? You gonna let me fuck you like this right now?”
“Yes, Striker. I’m here. Take what you need from me. It doesn’t scare me. You don’t scare me. I’m strong enough to be what you need, what we both need.”
He stared at her for a beat before he crashed his mouth down to hers. The kiss wasn’t gentle, but she didn’t need or want gentle right now. She wanted to feel alive and vital. Just as her need for air became too strong to deny, Striker pulled his mouth away. “I’m so sorry baby, you don’t deserve this from me.”
All the fight seemed to have gone out of him and what was left was raw emotion. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Lila pulled him into another kiss before he could say anything. He wasn’t listening to her words, maybe she could show him with her body how she accepted him, loved him, and needed him. How she would be there to fight the demons with him, and in the times when he couldn’t fight them himself, she’d fight them for him.
Striker’s erection nestled against her core and she moaned into his mouth. Before long, it wasn’t enough. Striker pulled her from the wall and propelled her forward, bending her over the back of the couch.
She gripped the top of the cushion and felt him yank her pants down. A thrill of excitement rippled through her as the sound of her panties tearing filled the room. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the tattered remains fly over the couch. Against the fabric, her nipples hardened, and her pussy clenched in anticipation of his invasion.
“Don’t make me wait, Striker.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, he powered into her with one strong thrust. “God.” He groaned. “You’re wet.” It was as though he finally believed everything she’d said when he felt the proof of her words in her body’s response. He sagged, and rested his head on her back, his shaft embedded deep within her.
“Because I want you.” Her voice was fierce. “Fuck me, Striker. You need this. I need this. We almost died or worse today. I need to feel you inside me, to feel alive. We’ll deal with the rest of the bullshit later. Right now I just need to feel you move inside me.”
Not waiting for him, she drew he
r hips forward, then pushed pack and impaled herself farther on his cock. After that neither of them spoke. He hammered into her furiously, as though he could imprint himself on her, and she reveled in it, meeting him thrust for thrust.
With adrenaline still coursing through them and emotions running high, there was little room left for finesse and patience. It was raw and intense; he fucked her like a man possessed. It wasn’t long before she came with a sharp cry as ecstasy flooded her system. The pleasure Striker gave her on top of the fear from earlier propelled her into an orgasm so powerful tears fell from her eyes.
Above her, a primal roar rang out, and knew the encounter had been just as earth shattering for Striker. Exhausted, Lila’s arms were unable to bear her weight anymore and she collapsed over the back of the couch. Her breaths came in ragged pants, made more difficult when Striker’s heavy body landed against her back as though he couldn’t hold himself up either.
He must have heard her crying because he suddenly drew back. “Oh my God, Lila, did I hurt you? I knew—”
She stood, managed an awkward turn, and almost laughed at the picture they made. Striker’s pants were down at his knees, his now soft cock dripping with their combined fluids, and his bruised face held an expression of concern. Her jeans were down as well, only barely past her ass, and who knew where the remains of her panties ended up. Lila was afraid to catch a glimpse of her hair. It had to be a tangled mess.
The look of self-loathing on Striker’s face made her heart squeeze. “No, Striker,” she said. She stepped into him and wrapped her arms around his powerful body. “You gave me exactly what I needed.”
He stood still, and didn’t return her embrace. “But you were crying.”
“It was intense,” she answered with a shrug.
Finally, he relented, and enfolded her in his arms. He brought his mouth to hers for a deep kiss that ended when they heard the rumble of pipes coming down the street. “That will be Hook and Jester. I’m not sure how long I’ll be, but they will stay the whole time.”
She watched as he made himself presentable again. There wasn’t enough time to shower, and she’d never admit it out loud, but she liked the idea of him wearing the scent of their love making for the rest of the night. She, however, planned to shower. It would at least give her something to do besides stare at Hook and Jester while Striker was gone. For now, she righted her clothes so she was decent when they came in the house.
Striker was so handsome. He moved with the easy confidence of a man secure in his power and position. It hadn’t been long, but he’d become everything to her, and she already felt she needed him in her life just as much as she wanted him there. The thought was a bit unsettling for someone who had gotten used to being in charge and independent.
He looked up as he finished buckling his belt. “We have a lot to talk about when I get back. I need to think about some things before this goes any further.” He let out a heavy sigh. “I’ve never cared enough about a woman to want to do right by her. And that’s what I’m doing now, trying to do the right thing for you, Lila.”
“Who the hell do you think you are?” she spat out, anger surging at his statement. “You don’t get to decide what’s right for me, Striker. I do that. So think all you want, but think about what it is that you want, not what you think I need. I’m perfectly capable of making those decisions for myself.”
He chuckled and held up his hands in surrender. “My bad. I’m sorry.”
Lila blew out a breath and her anger dissipated. “Let me just say one thing and then we can talk when you get back.”
“Okay.” He eyed her as though he thought she was trying to trap him.
“I sat in a room by myself most of the time I was in the Grimm’s clubhouse. It gave me a lot of time to think, and I had decided that this thing between us was over. I was going to tell you as soon as I got away from them. And then I saw you, and your brothers, who came from all over to help you, and I realized I was being a fool. You have a family that loves you, and will have your back no matter what. If you weren’t deserving of that, you wouldn’t have it. They respect you, and love you because you’re a good man, Striker. I realized that instead of pushing you away because I’m afraid or because it might be difficult, I need to pull you closer. There’s strength in numbers. Together, and with your family, we can have something important.”
She couldn’t believe it when she saw Striker’s eyes fill. “Christ, Lila. There isn’t a thing about you I don’t think is amazing.”
A pounding on the door interrupted anything further he might have said to her.
“It’s open,” he hollered.
Seconds later Jester and Hook entered the room. Lila was sure they could sense the tension. It was so thick it was practically visible. She didn’t care who saw them. Being taken by Snake changed her outlook on the small things. Lila grabbed Striker and pulled him to her for a passionate kiss. She wanted him, and wasn’t above playing dirty to get him. Might as well send him off on a positive note.
When the kiss ended she shifted her head so her mouth was pressed against his ear. “I love you, Striker.” It may have been a mistake to make herself so vulnerable to him, but she wanted him to know what he’d be walking away from if he chose to do so. Her vision blurred, and she turned away before he could respond.
Rattled by her own weepiness, Lila walked into the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and turned on the water to give it time to warm up. After stripping down, she stepped in the steamy shower, and finally let the tears flow.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Striker couldn’t believe what had just transpired between him and Lila. The most emotionally charged sex of his life, culminating in one of the most intense orgasms he’d experienced, all initiated by him being a colossal asshole. There was a mountain of unsaid words between them, and he had so much to make amends for, he wasn’t sure where to begin.
The entire time he’d been raging at her, Lila fought for them, instead of fighting him, and she looked gorgeous doing it. Face flushed with suppressed anger, eyes shining with what he now knew was her love for him. Her body had been taut with tension, a body he’d been unable to keep from touching, taking.
“Lila holding up okay?” Hook was the first to break the silence. The concerned look on his face spoke volumes. He’d always been very protective of women. It went back to a bunch of shit from his childhood. It was no surprise that the first question he asked was about Lila’s wellbeing.
Striker shook his head, and rubbed a spot on the left side of his chest where a small ache had formed. “I don’t know, brother. Some serious shit went down today. I don’t think she’s had a chance to process it all.”
“How about you? You holding up?” This time the inquiry came from Jester.
“Don’t know that either, bro. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Shouldn’t take long.”
“Don’t worry, Striker, we’ll watch over your woman.” Hook spoke again.
“Thanks.” He bolted into the kitchen, snagged his gun off the table, and strode back out the front door as Jester and Hook plopped down on his couch to wait for Lila.
Wrung out after her crying jag, Lila dragged herself out of the shower. She was sure Jester and Hook didn’t care what she wore, so she threw on a pair of yoga pants and one of Striker’s many Harley Davidson Tshirts. As she pulled the soft fabric over her head, the smell of him surrounded her and made her feel embraced by him, something she needed in this uncertain time.
She toweled off her long hair, and secured it up in a high ponytail. Since she wasn’t in the mood to dry it fully or put on makeup, it looked like she’d run out of ways to avoid going out to the living room.
With a fortifying breath, Lila opened the door to the hallway and started toward the den. Both men looked up as she came down the hall, staring at her as though they were expecting her to break down. “Hey, guys. Can I get you a drink or anything?”
Jester rose and walked to her. He slung a long a
rm around her shoulders, and steered her toward the couch where he encouraged her to sit. “No, doll. We can help ourselves if we want something. Sit and relax. By the way, you look about nineteen in that outfit. I like it.” He bobbed his eyebrows up and down at he as he spoke.
His antics had the desired effect, and she laughed, easing the tension in the room and the tension in her body. “Thank you, Jester. I needed that.”
“You doing all right, honey?” Hook asked.
Lila took a moment to answer. “I think so. Can I ask you guys a question?”
Hook raised an eyebrow at her.
“What happens now? With the Grimm Brothers I mean? I kinda zoned out at the end when I was sitting on Striker’s bike.” Her stomach clenched while she waited for his response. If he told her they were still in danger from Snake, she might just break down.
Hook rubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. “Well, hon, I’m not going to lie to you and tell you we’re all best buds now, but I think things will be calm for a while. Snake agreed to abide by the terms of the deal we set with Jackal.” He shrugged as he continued. “His word probably means shit, but he’s got enough on his plate with taking control of his club.”
“What do you mean?”
“From what I’ve heard, the Grimms were pretty split as far as loyalty, half loyal to Jackal, and the other half helped Snake overthrow him. I’m guessing he cleans house, and gets rid of Jackal’s supporters. Whether he’ll replace them or not remains to be seen. He’ll be too busy dealing with his own shit to mess with us for a while. Some of those guys are not gonna go quietly.”
Lila blew out a breath. “Good. That’s good.”
Hook leaned back on the couch, and propped his feet up on the coffee table. “Are you gonna be able to make peace with what you saw go down today?”
“You mean the guy you turned over to the Grimms? Does it really matter how I feel?”
Jester joined in the conversation. “It matters to Striker. We are all aware when we patch in, that the MC becomes our life, our family. Everything we do is in support of the club. We are also aware of what happens if we betray that patch.
