Slumbered to Death

by Vanessa Gray Bartal

  “This is more male bickering than I’m comfortable with,” Sadie said.

  “How much male bickering are you comfortable with?” Hal asked.

  “Enough to feed my ego, not enough to do permanent relational damage,” Sadie said.

  “No harm, no foul,” Hal said. “Right, Luke?”

  “Sure,” Luke agreed, though his tone wasn’t very hearty.

  “What’s next on your agenda, super sleuth?” Hal asked Sadie.

  “I guess I’m going to follow Edmond Hankin’s wife and find out who her friends are. Then I’ll find a way to talk to them.”

  “You’re going to do legitimate surveillance work,” Hal said. “Are you going to use codes, disguises, binoculars, and a pinhole camera?”

  “I think that’s sort of old school. I’ll probably tap into NASA and use some satellite images,” Sadie said. “Or maybe I’ll just sit in my car and stare.”

  “I would love to tag along,” Hal began, but Luke interrupted.

  “Dibs. I’ll go.”

  “You want to sit in the car with me for what might turn out to be hours?” Sadie said.

  “I can bring some books and study while we wait. I said I was going to be supportive. What could be more supportive than tagging along?”

  “Nothing,” Hal agreed. “As I was going to say ‘I would love to tag along, if I didn’t have to work tomorrow.’ But I’m sure you will have fun being co-captain, Lucas.”

  “It will be fun,” Sadie enthused. “I won’t get bored or lonely with you there.”

  “Sadie, I really have to study if I go. I’m already behind in my work.”

  “Luke, would I keep you from your work? You wound me. And what do you mean ‘if I go’? You said you were going. Are you welching?”

  “No, I’m not welching. I’m just saying that I have to do work. You can’t distract me.”

  “That sounds like a challenge,” Hal said. He and Sadie high-fived over the table.

  “This is going to go well,” Luke said.

  “I promise not to distract you from your gigantic, boring books. I’ll crank the radio to amuse myself,” Sadie said.

  “Sadie, you can’t listen to the radio when I’m trying to…” he trailed off when he realized she was teasing him. “I don’t know why I take anything you say seriously. Lies, all lies.”

  Sadie raised her right hand. “I solemnly swear that I will not distract you tomorrow in the car. Are you happy?”

  “I’m skeptical, but I’m still going to go,” Luke said.

  “It’s a date,” Hal said. “I can’t wait to hear all about it.”

  Sadie stood to retrieve dessert. Hal and Luke watched with appreciation as she stretched on her toes to reach the top shelf.

  “So much for not being distracted,” Hal muttered to Luke. “Ten bucks you don’t get any work done tomorrow.”

  Luke didn’t reply, but that was a bet he definitely wasn’t going to take.

  Chapter 10

  “Sadie, you look less like a spy and more like Jacquelyn Onassis.” She was wearing large, dark sunglasses and a silk scarf tied over her curls.

  “I had to disguise myself in case Mrs. Hankins sees me. She knows what I look like,” Sadie said.

  “Why not wear a hat?” Luke suggested.

  She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t look good in hats.”

  “Yes, because being a detective is all about looking good,” Luke said.

  “There’s nothing wrong with looking good while being good at something,” Sadie said. “One can still be fashionable and competent.” She tapped his book. “You’re not supposed to be talking.”

  Luke directed his attention back to his work. So far Sadie had been holding fastidiously to her promise not to distract him. She had barely spoken three words to him since they left the house. She sat stoic and silent, staring out the window at the store where Mrs. Hankins worked. She was being professional, courteous, and considerate of his need for silence and concentration. In short, she was being very unlike herself and the contrast from normal was driving him crazy.

  “I think maybe I work better when you’re actively trying to distract me,” he sheepishly admitted.

  Sadie turned to beam at him. “I knew it! Talk to me.”

  “About what?”

  “I don’t know. Anything. I’m so bored. What are you studying?”

  “Asexual versus sexual reproduction in protozoa.”

  “See, I thought I couldn’t possibly be more bored, but I was wrong. Good to know.”

  “No, it’s fascinating.” Luke closed his book and leaned forward. “Cilates are the only ones that can undergo a sexual phase, but it doesn’t necessarily mean an increase in cell numbers. Sometimes it’s just an exchange of genetic material. But if you manipulate environmental conditions, then…”

  She pressed her finger to his lips. “Wait, before you go on, can I record you? Because my client suffers from severe insomnia, and I think I’ve found the cure.”

  He brushed her finger aside. “You’re mean.”

  She rested her hand on his leg and gave it a squeeze. “You know I’m teasing. I’m glad you’re passionate about your science stuff. It’s nice.”

  “Passionate isn’t a term people often use when describing me. A girl once broke up with me because she said watching her laundry tumble in the dryer was more exciting than any date we ever had.”

  “Obviously she didn’t know you at all. I find you to be very passionate,” Sadie said. “And I always have fun when I’m with you.”

  “The fun factor is because of you. I would venture to say that you have fun no matter who you’re with.”

  “Not true. I never have fun with Gideon.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  “The same. I checked on him this morning. He told me he didn’t need me to fuss over him and to stop coming over every day.”

  He sought her hand and wove their fingers together. “I’m sorry, but you know he doesn’t mean it.”

  “Doesn’t he? If he doesn’t mean it, I wish he would stop saying it.”

  “So do I,” Luke agreed. “My great regret is that I missed those years when things were so hard for you.” After the breakup of their friendship, Sadie had taken the brunt of Gideon’s criticism alone while trying to please her dying mother. At the time, Luke had been nursing his own grudge against her. He thought she was popular; he thought she was happy. Now he knew better. Sadie had been miserable and alone.

  “Do you want to know a secret?”

  He nodded.

  “When things got really bad, I used to have this fantasy that I sneaked out of my house and climbed in your window at night. I would wake you up and tell you everything, and you would forgive me, and everything would go back to the way it was when we were kids. Things became so complicated. I thought escape was the only solution. It never occurred to me that I had the capacity to fix things. If I had stood up to my parents and explained things to you, maybe it would have been all right. Instead I dug myself into a hole, let myself be pulled in a thousand different directions, and lost sight of everything important.” For so long, her life had been off track. She was only now starting to see the light again, to put her priorities back in order and take charge of her future.

  “I don’t know if I would have forgiven you back then,” Luke said. “I think I needed to go away to college, to mature, to find my own stability.” To become strong enough to handle her. He didn’t say the last part to her, but he was thinking it. When they were kids, he had been an extension of Sadie. If not for their separation, he might never have found the strength to stand on his own. He might never have become strong enough to be the friend she really needed. Now he was his own man, no longer her minion and willing accomplice.

  “I wish we would have gone to college together. It would have been a blast,” Sadie said. She would have loved watching him change from geek to Greek god. Perhaps that was a slight exaggeration; he wasn’t exactly Adonis, but she found h
im appealing. What did he look like to other women? She squinted, trying to see him objectively through her sunglasses.

  “Why is your head tipped to the side? You look like a sparrow that senses danger.”

  “I’m trying to decide how attractive you are to other women,” Sadie said.

  “I need to stop asking you questions I don’t already know the answer to.”

  She gave him a distracted smile and glanced at the store to make sure they hadn’t missed any comings or goings. The door hadn’t opened.

  “So what’s the answer?” Luke said.

  “The answer to what?” Sadie said.

  “The answer to how attractive I am to other women,” Luke said.

  “I don’t know. I decided I can’t be objective about you. What I think might be different from what other women think. I know too much about you, so I can’t judge you based on appearances. I can only judge the total package.”

  They both turned to stare at the store. The minutes ticked by on his watch. “What’s your verdict?” he asked at last.

  Sadie turned to him with a smile, but the door of the shop opened and reclaimed her attention. “That’s Mrs. Hankins.”

  “Why do we keep calling her Mrs. Hankins? Don’t we know her name?”

  “Yes, but it feels better to keep things impersonal.” The woman got in a rickety car and drove away. “I wonder if she’s on a break or if her shift is over,” Sadie mused. “Either way, we have to hurry.”

  “We?” Luke repeated. “Why am I involved in this?”

  She pointed to the store. He read the sign for the first time and groaned. “Sadie, no.”

  “C’mon, it will be fun.”

  “It will not be fun.”

  “I meant it will be fun for me.” She hopped out of the car and trotted toward the store without waiting for his acquiescence. He should refuse. He should stay right where he was and read his book. He didn’t have to do everything Sadie said. She wasn’t the boss of him. He would tell her so, right after he finished doing what she wanted him to do.

  He caught up with her and she took his hand as she pushed open the door.

  “May I help you?” a female clerk asked.

  “We’re here to plan our wedding,” Sadie said, and Luke pressed his lips together to stop a sigh.

  “Marvelous,” the woman said, striding forward as she held out her hand. “I’m Lavern. Would you like to start with some invitations?” She led them to a table with stacks of books.

  “Perfect,” Sadie agreed. She sat and began to flip through some pre-printed example invitations.

  “Is the wedding being held locally?” Lavern asked.

  “Oh, no, it’s a destination wedding,” Sadie said.

  “How exciting! Where are you going?”

  “Greenland,” Sadie replied. “It’s his favorite place.” She patted Luke’s hand. Lavern gave him a sideways glance.

  “I can’t get enough snow and ice,” he explained.

  “I wasn’t aware they did weddings in Greenland,” Lavern said.

  “It’s a booming trend,” Sadie decreed. “I’m a little surprised you haven’t heard of it.”

  “Oh, well, I knew some people were doing it, people from New York. But it hasn’t caught on in Virginia yet,” Lavern said.

  “We’re trendsetters,” Sadie said.

  “How did you meet?” Lavern asked.

  Luke tried to stomp on Sadie’s foot. Too late because she moved it from reach. “He ran over me on his Segway scooter. He was texting and scooting, something that should be outlawed in my opinion. Anyway, it broke my ankle in three places and really messed up his Segway, so he sued me for damages. He’s a lawyer, from a family of lawyers. They sue everybody; it’s like a hobby with them. So one day in court, I noticed him looking at me, but he didn’t talk to me until I got my cast off. Medical stuff freaks him out. Of course he dropped the suit. We settled out of court, I paid him for the Segway, and he asked me out. A year and a prenup later, and voila!”

  Luke guessed it took a lot to make a pro like Lavern speechless, but Sadie had accomplished it. The woman viewed him through a narrowed gaze, trying to think of anything positive to say. He rescued her. “Honey, we’re boring her with our story. Let’s look at some invites. Or do you know what you want? Fourth time’s a charm, so you should be an expert at this by now.”

  “Sweetheart, we agreed not to discuss polygamy with outsiders. You know our lifestyle makes them uncomfortable,” Sadie said in a stage whisper that Lavern no doubt overheard.

  Luke bit down hard on his cheek. Someday he vowed to catch Sadie off guard and one-up her. Sadie turned with a bright smile. “I was thinking lilac.”

  Lavern, glad for a reprieve from the awkwardness, turned her attention to business and began frantically flipping toward the purple section of a book.

  “This is a bit off topic,” Sadie said. “But that woman who just left before we came in, was her name Nora?”

  “Yes, that was Nora Hankins. Do you know her?”

  “She used to date my older brother in high school. She looks exactly the same. Wait until I tell him. He’s been searching for her for years. They were a hot item back then.” She was pressing her luck, but it was all she could think of. Poor Nora Hankins was still carrying a lot of baby weight, her hair was lank and dirty, and her expression one of constant pain or anger.

  Lavern stopped flipping and looked up. “Nora?”

  “Yes. She’s just as cute now as she was then. Is she single? I would love to do a little matchmaking.”

  “She might as well be,” Lavern said.

  “Divorced?” Sadie guessed.

  “Her husband left her,” Lavern confided. “It’s very sad. She has little kids and no money.”

  “Oh, no. Don’t tell me it was another woman,” Sadie said.

  Lavern nodded. “The worst part is that it’s someone he works with, and Nora has no idea. She doesn’t realize he’s left her; she thinks something bad happened to him. She reported him missing.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t be saying this. I’m sorry, it’s just that it’s been weighing heavily on my mind. Maybe if your brother is still interested, something good might finally happen to Nora.”

  “I’ll tell him to look her up as soon as the restraining order expires,” Sadie promised.

  Lavern dropped her gaze to the book. “Do you like this one?” She turned the invitation around so Sadie could see it.

  “Yes, it’s very pretty,” Sadie said. She poked Luke’s leg.

  “I thought we decided on green,” he said.

  Sadie slammed her palms on the table. “Green and Greenland? That’s tacky. You agreed to lilac. You never let me have my way. I’m so sick of this.” She burst into tears and sprinted from the building, leaving Lavern and Luke staring at each other in silence.

  “Please don’t sue us,” Lavern said.

  “No, I, uh…” he wasn’t as good as thinking of off the cuff remarks like Sadie. “I lost my license to practice. Goodbye. We probably won’t come again.”

  Lavern nodded, sagging in relief as he turned and walked away.

  Chapter 11

  “Remind me what we’re doing here again.”

  They sat in front of a manufacturing plant. Like the one Erin Jones worked at, Sadie had no idea what this one made, and the sign gave nothing away. It would have been ideal if Erin and Edmond worked at the same factory, if they had been seeing each other, and run off together. At least it would have been nice for her, not for the longsuffering Mrs. Hankins. Life rarely came tied up in such a nice little bow, however.

  “We’re looking for a mark,” Sadie said.

  “Excuse me?” Luke said.

  “A mark, a patsy, a pigeon, a stooge,” Sadie expounded.

  “I see. One more question: at what point in the day did we become grifters?”

  “We’re not going to grift anyone. By the way, kudos for using jargon that died before Abby was born. We simply need to find some answe
rs, and I’m looking for the most likely target to provide them.”

  “Why can’t we ask someone what we want to know?” Luke said.

  She chuckled and patted his knee. “Oh, Luke, your innocence is refreshing.”

  “I wish I could say the same about your condescension,” he said.

  “Hey, if you want to give it a try, be my guest. All I’m saying is that I know how people work. Everyone needs to be nuanced in some way to get what you want. For men, it’s often tears or flirting. Women are a little more complex, but not much. Honesty rarely works because few people are honest, and the ones who are have become cynical.”