“Sometimes, I feel I can only face life from behind the shelter of a bottle,” Yuri told his dad sadly.
“Liquor can be a great temptation, even for me,” his father admitted.
“But it’s not so much a temptation,” Yuri said, shaking his head, “as a promise of relief. Even if just for a few hours.”
“Relief?” Dalton questioned.
Yuri nodded. “Yes. From the pain of remembering how useless I am, how I’ve failed at so much in life, how I have no direction or purpose. That is why I drink—to forget. Then when I have had enough liquor, I suddenly feel capable of making great decisions. Then I find myself seduced by the cards.”
“So this gambling debt is why you didn’t want Dalton to buy half of the business?” Yuri’s father asked.
Dalton’s friend nodded. “I knew if he did, he would find out what I planned to do once you had gone. I hated myself for that. It was also the reason I told you I no longer wanted him to work with us. I knew he would need another place of employment. I didn’t realize then that he had as much money as he does.” Yuri laughed. “He’ll soon own all of Sitka, if we’re not careful.”
“I have no desire to own all of it,” Dalton assured him. “Just my little piece.”
Mr. Belikov looked to Dalton. “You are sure you want to buy the business? I would understand if you said no. You’ve already made me a substantial loan for my trip.”
“Yes. I’m certain. I was going to build my own shop anyway, so this gives me a head start. Besides, I have great memories here.” He smiled and gazed around the workroom. “I feel as though I became a man in this very place.”
“We did great work here,” Mr. Belikov said, looking first to Dalton and then to his son. “I have wonderful memories that I will take with me to Russia. I will miss you both.”
“It won’t be the same without you,” Dalton told him.
“What will you do?” Mr. Belikov asked. “You will have no one to work with you.”
“I plan to hire some of the Tlingit boys who were trained at the school. With a little bit of hard work and good advertising, I believe I can have one of the finest boat building businesses in all of Alaska.”
Dalton looked to Yuri. “I’ve told Yuri he can stay on, as well, but I think his heart is elsewhere.”
“And where would that be?” Mr. Belikov asked his son.
“I wish I could tell you. I know I’m not half the builder Dalton is. He suggested I could work with his father for a time, and I might give it a shot. Otherwise, I don’t know—maybe fishing.” He grinned. “I could buy one of Dalton’s boats.”
Dalton appreciated that Yuri was trying hard to keep things light, but Mr. Belikov was obviously concerned about his son. His grim expression gave Dalton little doubt that he feared Yuri might well fall back into the same bad company that had brought him to this place.
“No matter what Yuri chooses, I know we shall remain close friends.” Dalton hoped Mr. Belikov would understand his meaning. Yuri might be given to the temptations of liquor and gambling, but Dalton hoped he could influence his friend otherwise.
Mr. Belikov sighed. “If you are agreed to this arrangement, Dalton, I cannot do anything but thank you. It comforts me to know that Yuri will be out of trouble and that the business will remain in friendly hands.”
“I am happy, too,” Yuri said, turning to Dalton. “I hope you know how much this means to me.”
Dalton put his hand on Yuri’s shoulder. “I think I do. I know what it is to feel displaced and not know where you belong. I hope you will find your calling soon, but you will always have my friendship, no matter your path.”
Yuri grew quite serious. “Will you do me one more favor?”
Dalton nodded. “What is it?”
“Will you go with me to settle my account?” Yuri frowned. “I’m afraid I might … well, that is … I might be induced to stay.”
“Of course,” Dalton replied. “I will happily go with you and bear this burden.”
“We spent our first night here yesterday,” Phoebe announced to her mother as she started giving her a tour of the new house. She couldn’t contain her excitement. “It was so wonderful. I cannot tell you how quiet it is compared to being in town. Dalton and his father wrapped the porch around the side of the cabin and to the back so that we would be able to spend a great deal of time outside—even if it rains. Wasn’t that clever?”
“Phoebe, the house is so beautiful,” her mother declared. “I can scarcely believe how big it is.”
“I know.” Phoebe laughed. “When they were building it, I just couldn’t see it. I thought, ‘Oh, surely this is too small for all of us. We’re going to need more space.’ But now it seems massive— especially when I think of cleaning it. Even Theodore and Grady should have enough room to themselves.”
Phoebe’s mother took hold of her hand. “There is something I need to tell you.”
“Is something wrong?”
“I hope you won’t think so,” Mother replied. “Come sit with me and let me explain.”
Apprehension gnawed at Phoebe’s stomach. What was this all about? She went with her mother to the front room, where several chairs and a sofa made by Dalton’s father welcomed them. Phoebe took a seat beside her mother and reached out for her hand. “Now tell me.”
“I’ve given a great deal of consideration to this matter, and after much prayer, I have made up my mind to return to Vermont.”
“No!” Phoebe said, shaking her head. “Don’t go. Why would you leave now? We have the house and plenty of money.”
Mother patted her hand. “Sweetheart, the house is wonderful, but I have other considerations. Theodore is nearly ready for a higher education. Grady will soon follow. His intelligence is even greater than his brother’s. His teacher has informed me that he has very nearly learned as much as she can teach him.”
“I had no idea.”
Mother continued. “I didn’t, either. It seems that Grady has always been a high achiever, but after losing Father, well, he thoroughly applied himself to learning—seeking comfort and solace in his education. His teacher thinks that he will be ready for the university in another year at most.”
“That does change things. Obviously, there is no chance of an advanced education here,” Phoebe agreed. “But what will I do without you?” She looked at her mother and shook her head. “I hadn’t even considered that you might leave. Not after … after Father passed on.”
“I know. I’m sorry that I’ve said nothing to you on this matter. I didn’t want to grieve you or to say something until I was certain. I’ve written to my sister. Her husband is even now securing us a home. The boys and I will leave shortly after the governor returns from his inspection of the islands. We will head south on the City of Topeka and make our way east from San Francisco.”
“Well, I am certain we can help make your journey less arduous,” Phoebe told her mother. “Dalton can help you to arrange things. Perhaps he and I can even accompany you south. He has need of more supplies for the business.”
“It would be wonderful to have your company, even that much longer,” her mother said. “And I must admit, I had hopes that Dalton could help us … financially.” She lowered her head. “Your father left very little of value. Governor Knapp has kindly given me a stipend, but it has barely been enough to live on.”
“Why did you say nothing?” Phoebe asked. “We would have happily helped. Oh, Mother, please tell me you did not go hungry.”
“Of course not. And besides, I had the candles to sell. You will continue to make them, won’t you? It will be something that joins us together.”
Phoebe nodded. “It hasn’t been easy to keep up with supplies, but Dalton recently learned of a way to get beeswax shipped here. I was going to surprise you with the news, but since you are returning to Vermont, it won’t be necessary.”
“I will be happy to see that you have a ready supply of other ingredients,” her mother countered. “You have o
nly to write and let me know what you need. Of course, with your connection to Zee, you have brought us many wonderful new scents from the local flowers and herbs. I shall miss those.”
“I will send you some. We will dry them and ship them to you,” Phoebe promised.
“I love that you will continue the tradition. I hope you will teach the making of candles to your daughter, as well.”
“Of course,” Phoebe said, feeling the words choke in her throat.
She got up and walked to the fireplace. “I can’t believe you are going away. It’s just not at all what I had expected this day. I hoped to talk of your moving in this next week. I thought we would be planning curtains and such.” Tears came to her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away.
“I know you’re right in going,” Phoebe said, trying hard to remain strong. “Theodore and Grady will need their education. They will be happier in Vermont, I think. Their choices are limited here. In the East, they will be able to get a good education and find gainful employment. If Grady is as smart as the teacher believes … well, who knows what he might accomplish.”
Phoebe looked at her mother as if seeing her for the first time. She looked so tired. Alaska had been a difficult place for her, aging her beyond her years. “You will be happier there, as well.” Phoebe smiled, despite the heaviness in her heart. “And that is most important to me.”
“Life there won’t be so … isolated,” her mother replied. “Sometimes I find myself lonely here, and not even so much for other people. It’s hard to explain, but I suppose it has to do with having lived most of my life in a place where the culture and community offered so much more. Here, I can’t even get used to the weather.”
“When we first came here, I didn’t think I could ever love anything about Sitka,” Phoebe admitted. “I hated the way it smelled, and the people seemed so rough and frightening at times.”
“But now, you’ve had a change of heart,” her mother said with a smile.
“So much has changed. I feel as if … well … I came to some sort of adult understanding here. I learned so much about life— about other people.” Phoebe came back to sit beside her mother on the sofa. “I am truly happy. I hope you know that.”
“I think you shall always be very happy here, daughter. Dalton is such a good man. I had my concerns—your courtship seemed like such a whirlwind, and I feared there was no solid basis for a marriage. I’m glad to be proven wrong.”
Phoebe thought of her husband. “When my friends and I used to talk about the man we wanted to marry, I would often say that I wanted an adventurous man who was handsome and who would love me madly.” She smoothed down her sleeves and shrugged. “And that is exactly what I got.”
“I expect to have you visit—at least once every other year. Especially when my grandchildren begin to arrive.”
The thought of having children without her mother close by only added to Phoebe’s sorrow, but she said nothing. Instead, she nodded. “You can count on it, Mother. You can count on it. But you must also visit us here, if the trip is not too hard on you.”
Her mother laughed. “I’m not so old as that. Once I have Theodore and Grady settled down, who knows? I might very well want to return to Sitka.”
“I hope so. I hope you will at least come for visits. I will miss you so much.” She embraced her mother and held her tight.
“We will always be close, child. No matter the miles that separate us. We will always be close.”
Phoebe lost herself in the haunting strains of the Adagio from Alessandro Marcello’s Concerto in D Minor. The piece was designed to feature the oboe, but since Sitka’s little orchestra didn’t have one, Lydia had managed to adapt it for the flute. Against the delicate harmony of the strings, Phoebe’s flute sounded almost magical.
The music brought tears to her eyes as she thought of her mother and brothers going away. It would be hard to see them go. When she’d told Dalton of the news, his gentleness had caused her to fall apart. She’d cried in his arms, and he hadn’t even tried to hush her. He seemed to understand that she needed to let out her tears—to mourn the loss even though it had not yet come.
Her mother had once said that finding that special person with whom to share your life—that soul mate who would understand your heart’s joys as well as sorrows—was the finest blessing one could hope for. Phoebe had found that in Dalton.
As the final notes faded, those who’d gathered for Joshua Broad–street’s surprise party clapped with great enthusiasm. The cheers left Phoebe little doubt that their audience was well pleased.
Slipping into the sewing room, Phoebe cleaned her flute and put it away with the gentleness of a mother for her babe. She found such fulfillment in her music and thanked God silently for having brought her to this place where she could continue to play and enjoy the talent He had given her.
“That was incredible, Phoebe,” Dalton said, joining her. He drew her into his arms and whirled her around. “I’ve never heard anything quite like it. Mother said it was special, and though I heard you practicing the piece, I was still unprepared.”
She smiled up at him. “I found that I was unprepared for most everything about Alaska … including you. I thought I was coming to a vast wilderness where I would be set adrift in loneliness and longing. Instead, I have found more fulfillment than I could have imagined.”
He kissed her gently. “I feel the same,” he whispered against her lips.
Phoebe wrapped her arms around his waist and held him tight. “I love you. You are such a part of me that I feel I have loved you forever.”
He pulled back and smiled. “It’s as if you look into my heart and speak the words you find there.”
Reaching up, she gently touched his face and nodded. “Only because they are my own, as well.” She placed her head against his chest. The rhythmic beat of Dalton’s heart brought to mind the pulsating strains of the Adagio. Such sweetness.
“Come on, lazy bones,” Dalton said, giving Phoebe’s backside a swat. “You’ll miss it.”
Yawning, she sat up in bed. Her golden hair tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. By the time they’d returned home from Joshua’s party, Phoebe had been too tired to do anything but take out her hairpins.
“Hurry, Phoebe,” Dalton urged in a whisper.
She forced her feet to touch the floor and rose from the bed as if being led to her execution. Pulling on her robe and slippers, she padded after her husband to the French doors at the end of their bedroom. Dalton had already gone outside onto the small balcony. He held his finger to his lips and motioned her to follow.
Suppressing another yawn, Phoebe stepped into the chilled morning air. The sun had risen just enough to cast light down on the harbor. Below, a family of seals frolicked and played. Phoebe couldn’t help but smile.
“I told you we would get some amazing sights from this balcony,” he whispered.
“They’re wonderful.” She wanted to laugh aloud as one seal seemed to be playing tag with another. It reminded her of puppies at play.
Dalton wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back against his chest. He didn’t speak. He didn’t have to. Phoebe stood there embraced in his warmth as the barely audible notes of morning’s refrain drifted down over the valley as the island awoke to a new day. She had found much to love in Sitka. Here, she had come to realize the passion and heart of God for His people. Here, she had come to know the desire and tenderness of a husband for his wife. And here, the music within her heart took flight. It was all that she could have hoped for. It was home.
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Morning's Refrain Page 27
