Jake could smell the sausage cooking and realized he needed to get back to breakfast.
“I don't know what the hell you're referring to, and I don't really care. If I see you here one more time, I'll convince Terri to have you arrested for trespassing--family or no family!”
“Well, them’s mighty big words, Jake. Especially, when you don't know what a fool that woman is making of you. The thing is that woman isn’t what she appears to be…”
“Goodbye, Carl. You’ve stooped to new a new low this time. Don't come back,” Jake said, starting to shut the door in Carl's face.
“She used to be a man!” Carl exclaimed, waiting for Jake’s expression.
Jake, startled, froze for a second and then chuckled.
“God, Carl! You are something,” he responded, before starting to shut the door again.
“I have proof, Jake,” Carl said, his stare cold and void of any affection for his cousin.
“You're insane,” Jake said but not trying to shut the door this time. There was something in the determined tone of Carl's voice that caught him off guard. The thought was so preposterous even Carl wouldn't be this crazy to try to stir up trouble, would he?
“I hired a private investigator to check her out so I could get a better idea of who she was. Maybe I could get some info to help me negotiate with her. You know, your typical background check.”
“She's a lawyer,” Jake said, his heart rate quickening.
“True enough, and it turns out quite a famous one recently in New York City. I got this fax this morning,” Carl said, reaching into his suit pocket and pulling out the paper. “Go ahead. Read it. She made The New York Times even.”
“What kind of game are you playing here, Carl?”
“Go ahead, Jake. If you think it's that crazy, you have nothing to concern yourself with, right?”
Jake grabbed the paper out of Carl's hand and read the headline: “Terri Lawson, Transgendered Lawyer, Breaks Boundaries in the Law Community.”
Jake stared at the paper in disbelief. Right next to the headline was a picture of Terri, and the article went on to discuss her pro bono work within the transgendered community. Jake's eye zeroed in on the introductory sentence of one paragraph, “Before I transitioned to a woman, I lived for years feeling alien in my former body – a man's body.”
“I guess I'll take off now since I got you updated, cuz. You can thank me later once you process all this. Just thought you'd want to know that she used to be a he. Y'all have a good morning now,” said Carl smugly. And with that, he turned around and walked back to his car.
Jake just stood in the doorway motionless, his mind going a million miles a minute. A burnt smell began to permeate from the kitchen through the wide open door. As Carl drove off down the driveway, Jake looked upstairs, thinking of Terri.
As Carl headed down the highway, he smiled widely. This had been a good morning alright. He had never dreamed he would hit this kind of pay dirt. This Lawson character would no doubt run straight out of town now that her, or his, secret was out. Carl didn't understand what any of this transgendered stuff really meant, but he knew his old-fashioned cousin wouldn't be for it. Once word spread throughout town, and Carl would make sure it would, this Terri Lawson would probably want to head straight back to the city on the first flight out of Billings.
And if she didn't, the next phase of Carl's plan surely would drive her out and get her to sell him that damned land. Everything was falling into place.
Terri woke up feeling the warmth of the sunlight on her face. She leisurely stretched, and instinctively reached out for Jake. Upon realizing he wasn't there, she opened her eyes and found the space next to her in the bed empty. Had he already gotten up before her? The smell of something burnt in the air awakened her senses.
She reached for her robe and headed down the stairs.
He certainly wouldn't have left without waking her, would he? Maybe he had an emergency. He was the sheriff after all. Perhaps he just didn't want to wake her.
She followed the smell of the overcooked food and was surprised to see a skillet with burnt sausages in it. The coffee container had been taken out of the fridge, but a pot hadn't been brewed.
“Jake?” she called out. “Are you here?”
Why would he start cooking food and suddenly leave?
She walked into the living room, and a piece of paper sitting on the coffee table just happened to catch her eye. It appeared to be a fax.
She walked over, picked up the paper, and immediately felt a sense of dread sweep through her being. It was a copy of the newspaper article in The New York Times. The article. Her article.
“Where did...?” she wondered.
She then noticed at the top of the fax the phone number and the name “Carl Collins” next to it.
She felt tears in her eyes at the realization of the morning’s events. She couldn't believe this was happening. Feelings of guilt and the all too familiar hurt filled her heart and mind, as she sat down on the couch and began to cry. She cried for Tom breaking up the engagement, for Uncle Bud's passing, and perhaps her never seeing Jake again. She messed up the special connection she felt for Jake, the kind of connection she thought she would never feel again. She should have told him beforehand.
What must Jake be thinking? Was he feeling hurt? Humiliated? Used? Did he even understand what any of this meant?
She quickly dressed and tried calling Jake on his cell, but her call went directly to voicemail.
“Um, hi, Jake. I was just wondering what happened…? If what I think may have happened did, I understand if you're confused, but please....I’d like to talk to you. Please give me a chance to try and explain my situation to you. Call me. Thanks.”
A knock on the door startled her.
“Jake!” she called, hurrying to the door.
However, when she opened the door she was perplexed to find an elderly Native American gentleman with long braided white hair wearing black rimmed glasses. Behind him were two college aged young men carrying cases of some sort.
“Uh, may I help you?” Terri asked perplexed.
“You must be Terri Lawson!” the gentleman exclaimed and held out his hand to be shook.
She cautiously shook the man's hand and said, “Uh, I am. And you are?”
“I'm Professor Redfeather. Jake Collins, a former student of mine, called me and said you may have some artifacts on your property I may find of interest. I'm head of a local archeology society, and I've brought along a couple of students from the local college to assist. Jake said it would be okay to stop by. I hope we didn't arrive at a bad time.”
Terri shook her head, “Of course not. I'm glad to see you and help in any way I can.”
She tried to put on her game face, the one she used in the courtroom when she thought she may be losing a case and she didn't want to let on. Here was this nice older man wanting to look through her property right at the moment she felt like her head was spinning.
“Excellent!” Professor Redfeather said, beaming. “Could you guide us where to start? Where you found the pottery shards?”
“Sure,” she answered. “Give me just a moment, and I'll be back down.”
First, she would get the Professor started, and then she would go into town to try and find Jake. She had to find Jake.
Immediately when Terri walked into the diner, she felt all eyes on her. This time it felt different than the first time she came into town. This time she felt like their eyes gazed at her with harshness and judgment.
She saw Sally at the counter, and Sally breathed what appeared to be a sigh of relief when she saw her. Sally quickly waved her over.
“Mindy, hon, watch the front,” Sally said, taking Terri by the hand and leading her into the back.
Terri noticed how Mindy just stared at her looking wide-eyed and amazed.
Once they were in the storage room behind the kitchen, Terri said, “Sally, I need to find Jake. I need to talk to him.”
/> “I figured,” she said, nodding. “I'm sure you two have some things discuss.”
Terri eyed her suspiciously and said, “What do you know?”
Sally looked at her with sad eyes and said, “Oh, hon, I'm sorry, but everything that happens in a small town spreads faster than a whore's legs at a Nevada brothel. That Carl Collins made some phone calls last night about you from what I understand, and one thing leads to another. Is it true, dear? What they say?”
Terri felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Does everybody know?” she asked.
Sally nodded.
“I should have talked to Jake first and explained some things to him, but I just...I just didn't think I'd be here long enough for it to matter. Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of who I am. It took me a long time to get to this point in my life, and I had years of struggle. But sometimes you just don't want to have to get into your story with every person. You just want to be who you are now. Not everyone is open to understanding.”
Sally reached out and took her hand and said, “Listen to me, honey. Bud spoke of you like you were the apple of his eye, and I had so much respect for that man. I know you're a good person. I'm not one to judge, either. My sister and her lesbian partner live in Billings, and I love both of them to pieces. I know it's not the same thing as your situation…I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that I’m here for you.”
Terri just nodded. She tried to hold back the tears she felt forming in her eyes.
“However, some people here,” Sally said, sighing, “are a little closed minded. Mostly it's because they rarely meet anyone that's different from them. All they know is within fifty miles of here.”
“I know. I've spent years educating people. It’s tiring. It's just sometimes you don't feel like...”
“Having to educate people. I get it,” Sally said. She paused for a moment, and she appeared to be forming her next words carefully. “Jake is a good man, a real good man. He doesn't open his heart easily because...”
“His fiancée died. He told me last night.” Terri finished.
Sally nodded and continued, “And he's probably never encountered a woman… like you. You have to give him some time to think about this. Talk to him.”
“I know. I should have told him before…I made a terrible mistake,” Terri said, her eyes locking with Sally's.
A look of understanding flashed across Sally's face, and Terri knew that she understood what the before referred to.
“You were intimate,” Sally said.
“Yeah,” Terri admitted. “It just all happened so fast.”
Sally squeezed her hand and said, “You might need to give Jake some time, but don't give up.”
“I won't. I can't. I need to make him understand why I didn't tell him before and let him know how special I think he is. I can’t leave it like this.”
Terri drove by the sheriff's station on the way back to the ranch, but Jake's patrol car and Jeep was nowhere in sight. She continued driving back to the ranch. She went back and forth between feeling like she should give him some time and talking to him immediately.
When she got back to the ranch, Professor Redfeather and his team were already covered in dirt and sweat.
The old man practically ran to her car when he saw her.
Terri got out and said, “Did you find more?”
“You won’t believe what we found, Miss Lawson. I’m going to contact state and federal authorities. You might be on top of a major Native American archaeological site.”
He held out a piece of earth colored pottery with swipes of blue coloring, a bowl, amazingly intact.
“Look at this piece,” the professor said, looking like he was in heaven. She could see why Jake spoke of the professor so fondly. His enthusiasm for the subject was infectious and he had an avuncular quality that reminded her of Bud. “It's in practically flawless condition.”
“It is beautiful,” Terri said. At least something positive may have come from her trip to Montana.
“Come see, my dear,” he said, grabbing her hand and leading her over to a blanket where a few other pieces had been carefully laid out, numbered and photographed.
“You found all of this already?” she said in amazement.
“I know! It's unbelievable, but the tornado managed to unearth things that have been buried for who knows how long. I can't wait until we can start dating some of these pieces.”
“What tribe do you think they're from?”
“For this area, most definitely from the Crow I would wager.”
Crow. She remembered Jake sharing his heritage with her just the night before when everything had felt so perfect, so right.
“Look at this beauty,” the professor said, reaching down and holding up a broken piece of pottery with red and yellow stripes in some sort of unrecognizable design. “I'm hoping to find the other missing pieces to this one. Studying the two-spirit people, the boté, has been a large part of my research.”
“The two-spirit people?” Terri asked. She began to remember Uncle Bud mentioning something about them before when she was struggling with her transition.
“Yes, many native groups considered some people to contain the spirit of both male and female. Not really gay or lesbian but a third gender almost. The tribes thought that the individual would decide their gender, not just the physical appearance. It was definitely a different world view than the European settlers.”
“Really?” Terri said, fascinated. She definitely felt a connection to what the Professor was telling her. Would she have been considered one of those two-spirits? “What was their place in society? These two-spirit people?”
“It varied from tribe to tribe. Many of them were considered a gift to the tribe though and given special jobs to do, such as healing people. Some were also known for their pottery making. The Crow also considered them very lucky in love. It was not unusual for a male-bodied, female spirit person to marry a male identified tribe member.”
“I had no idea,” Terri said, dumbstruck. “It sounds so much more advanced than our society now.”
The professor nodded knowingly. “When it comes to our society's rigid views regarding sexuality or gender, you're right. It was seen as a positive rather than a negative. Diversity was a reflection of nature and all its infinite possibilities.”
“If only it were that way now,” Terri said softly.
“Professor, we may have found something else!” one of the assistants called out.
“If you'll excuse me,” he said, hurrying back to the site.
“Of course! Take your time, Professor. You have my permission to excavate as much as you need to.”
The professor grabbed her hands and shook them excitedly.
“Thank you very much! This is indeed very exciting! I think we’re onto something really big!”
“I'll put on some coffee for you and your team,” she offered.
“That would be much appreciated,” the professor said. “This has been such a lucky find!”
Terri tried numerous times to call Jake, but every time it went straight to voicemail. She prayed he would give her at least a chance to tell him her side of the story. She didn’t want to end things this way with so many loose ends.
She spent much of the day watching Professor Redfeather and his team go about their work and fixed them some turkey sandwiches for lunch. The whole time the professor's story about the two-spirits stayed in her mind. What it must have felt like to be so accepted by your fellow tribespeople from the beginning. So different from her own experience. And supposedly we were the more advanced people bringing civilization to the natives, Terri thought.
At the end of the day, the professor requested to come back the next day to continue, and Terri agreed.
Compulsively, she checked her phone a few times to see if she may have missed Jake's call. Nothing. He obviously didn't want to speak to her. Feelings of rejection crept into the back of her mind. It was like
reliving the break-up with Tom all over again but this time it seemed more painful.
Terri went into the bathroom to look at herself. She washed her face and took off her make-up and stared at the person in the mirror. After years of therapy and a living a life as a woman before her operation, she felt ready--ready for the surgery and the follow-up hormone treatments. And now, looking at herself, she was finally the woman she always had imagined she would be. When she was Terrence, she fought so hard to make the true her disappear. Now Terri had a career and friends who loved her. And yet instead of having everything, she seemed to be losing everything. Uncle Bud. Tom. And now Jake. Beautifully handsome and gentlemanly Jake. How she longed to snuggle into his firm, smooth chest and be wrapped up by his strong arms again. Would last night be their only night together?
Her pondering was interrupted by a loud crashing sound downstairs and the sound of a speeding car. She hurried downstairs to find a rock thrown into her front window, broken glass littered the living room floor. She rushed to the door and could only see red taillights fading into the distance. She ran down the walkway hysterical, shocked and angry. The day had been one disaster after another.
“Damn you!” was all she could yell out of the top of her lungs, the words disappearing into the empty landscape.
She turned around and could see spray painted words illuminated by the porch light. The words “Freak Go Home” in red paint glared back at her against backdrop of the ranch home. But the sight didn’t sadden Terri, it actually fueled her anger. How dare they ruin Uncle Bud’s house! She had done nothing to anyone there to deserve this type of aggression. Were people here that scared of someone who was different from them?
Many people would back down, but not Terri. She had learned many years ago that giving in accomplished nothing.
Two Spirit Ranch Page 8
