“Thank you,” she replied. “And thanks again for staying last night.”
“No problem,” he said, looking at her again but this time keeping his gaze fixed on her.
She wondered if he was as conflicted as she was. She thought he looked torn between wanting to turn away again or to kiss her. God, how she wished he would grab her up in his arms again. She wanted to feel his body pressed against hers again more than anything. But she was also rationalizing in her mind that what happened that night might have been the last.
“Jake, I…umm…I have to leave to go back to New York.”
He looked stunned for a moment before saying quietly, “When?”
“On the first flight I can get out of Billings.”
“You’re running away?”
“I’m not running away,” she said, wishing she hadn’t sounded so defensive just then. “I just got a call. It’s work. There’s an emergency. A lot of money is involved, and they seem to think I’m the only one who can handle the situation. I’m not sure how long it will take, and there’s so much going on here with the dig, the house and with…”
Her voice trailed off. She wanted to say so much going on with us. But she didn’t know if she and Jake had any semblance of an us now.
“I want the professor to continue his work though, but I’m worried about the house,” she said.
“I’ll stay here for a while,” Jake replied. “I know a good painter who’ll take care of the graffiti for you. I’ll keep an eye out on things.”
“I can’t ask you to do that,” Terri said.
“You didn’t ask me. I volunteered. Look, Bud did a lot for me when I was just a teen. Sometimes he was the only father figure I had. So, I want to watch over things for him…and you. It’s the least I can do.”
Terri felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude, but before she could tell Jake, a cry came from the distance. It was the Professor.
“Jake! Come see this!” they both heard the professor call out excitedly.
“Be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail, Professor!” Jake called back, before turning back to Terri and said, “Let me go see what he’s found now. He’s very excited so far.”
“I guess I should go start packing,” she said about to turn away from the man who awakened deep emotions within her. She felt the moment was bittersweet.
He looked like he was about to say something, but then he just nodded and walked down the steps and towards Professor Redfeather.
She watched him for a moment, his masculine figure walking away from her, possibly forever. Terri wished so badly that things could have been different. She was speeding into town upon her arrival and now her departure left her with a slow, aching feeling inside.
Chapter 12
Four months later.
“Terri?”
The sound of her name snapped her back to reality as she had been staring out her skyscraper office window watching all the people on the street below running around like worker ants. She loved the energy of New York City--the way that it felt like anything could happen anytime and the possibilities were endless. And yet, she also missed the quiet vastness of the Montana landscape. Her two worlds. Apparently irreconcilable.
“Martin,” she said, turning around. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you walking in. I guess I was lost in my thoughts.”
“I bet!” Martin exclaimed, walking in and smiling from ear to ear. “Trying to figure out how you pulled off that miracle in the courtroom today? What are you going to do for an encore, lady? Walk on water? That was pure genius today.”
Upon returning to New York, Terri had convinced McBriar Inc. not to bolt on their firm, and she ultimately, after many long weeks, won their case for them.
“Thanks, Martin,” she replied. “That was a tough one.”
“A tough one, but you did it. I knew you would though. Want to go grab drinks tonight with the rest of the team to celebrate?”
Normally, Terri would automatically say yes as the celebratory drinks after a hard case won was practically mandatory, but she had allowed herself to be so consumed with the work that she never let herself emotionally deal with all she left behind in her short time in Montana.
“Would it be okay if I just headed home? I’m not feeling well.”
“It wouldn’t be the same without the star lawyer! Hope nothing too bad,” Martin said concerned.
“Nah. I’ll be fine.”
“You still thinking of Montana? The ranch? Of Jake?” Martin inquired. She had confided in him upon her return and always, he was the eternal optimist.
“You know me too, well, Martin. Am I that transparent?”
“I just know you. That’s all. Well, rain check on the drinks then. I’ll give everyone your regrets.”
“Thanks, Martin. I think I just need time alone tonight.”
“Of course. But before I go, remember that talk we had before you left for Montana?”
“Yes, you talked about the important things in life,” Terri recalled.
“Well, good work has its place. But don’t forget that love is what binds it all together. There’d be no one to share things with. Without love, what’s the point?” he said with eyebrows raised while closing her office door quietly behind him.
Once she got back to her apartment in Greenwich Village, she poured herself a glass of Chardonnay, and sat on her balcony to relax watching the sun set over the vibrant city and the skyscrapers lighting up horizon. Just that morning before heading into the courtroom she had gotten a call from Professor Redfeather.
In the time since she left Montana and after some deep thinking, she did something she thought would please Uncle Bud. She donated the entire ranch to Professor Redfeather’s organization so that further study and preservation would be done.
The professor had been thrilled and insisted that they would leave the ranch house on the property, and Terri would be able to stay there any time she felt like it. He’d have that stipulation drawn up in the papers.
Terri thought about Jake often while working or at home alone. She hadn’t spoken to him since she left, but she learned through the professor that Jake would stay on at the ranch until the property transfer to watch over things for her.
So many nights, she wanted to pick up the phone and call him and try to talk things out. But she was ashamed to admit that fear kept her from doing so. What if he simply didn’t want to talk about it? He never tried to call her. And why would he? After all, she had left him behind in Montana to deal with everything: the excavation at the ranch and especially the town learning her about her secret. She had abandoned him and wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to see her again. Terri felt she had no compelling reason to go back to Montana even though her heart ached to see Jake again.
But to her surprise, Professor Redfeather called later that night and said, “You must simply come for the dedication ceremony, Miss Lawson. It would mean so much to all of us to thank you in person for your generosity.”
She was excited about the professor’s plans to turn the land into a research center and, ultimately, a museum that could draw visitors to Clearview. It was a win-win situation for all. Now that the site had been also legally given historical preservation status, it was protected from Carl and his condo project development. She knew the outcome would have made her Uncle Bud so happy if he were alive. But the fear of facing Jake and what he may or may not say haunted her as soon as she hung up the phone with the professor.
But then she remembered how Uncle Bud used to always tell her, “Don’t ever be afraid to be happy. Ever. Life is too short.”
She finished her glass of wine in one large gulp, a little liquid courage, and walked back in the apartment to go online and book a plane ticket to back to Billings, Montana.
***
Driving in her rental car back onto the ranch for the first time in months, Terri was amazed at the transformation. All of the mess from the tornado had been cleaned. The ranch had been freshly painted and that
horrible graffiti covered over and wiped away. A sign at the beginning of the driveway announced that she had arrived to the “Clearview First Peoples Research and Study Center.”
When she pulled up, Professor Redfeather excitedly ran outside to greet her. He embraced her warmly and said, “I’m so pleased you’re here for the dedication ceremony, Miss Lawson. We have one of the bedrooms all fixed up for you.”
“That’s so sweet. Thank you,” Terri said.
As happy as she was with how things had turned out for the ranch, she still felt a twinge of sadness that Uncle Bud’s presence was no longer the predominant one here. And she still had all of his personal belongings which had been placed in storage to go through.
The professor insisted on carrying her luggage inside and noticed Terri hesitant to go in.
“Would you mind if I spent a few moments walking around the grounds, Professor?” she asked, feeling the need to have a few moments to herself with all the feelings and memories rushing into her mind.
“Of course. Please take your time. Without you this would not have been at all possible. When you’re ready I’ll be inside with a fresh pot of coffee. I can show you some more of the exciting items we’ve discovered here on the land.”
“Thank you,” she said. She looked around the landscape surrounding her and remembered how beautiful and peaceful it had been. So different from the dark, cramped, and noisy city. She could be alone with her thoughts as she headed towards the lake on the trail Jake had once shown her.
Finally, she approached the water’s edge and took in a deep breath of the clean country air. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed the crisp smell along with the serene quietness on the water and on the land, much of it still untouched and unspoiled.
“Terri,” she heard a familiar voice say behind her. Startled, she jumped and when she started to turn around she lost her footing and was falling towards the lake’s surface. But once again a pair of strong, masculine hands reached out and grabbed her. Jake.
Jake pulled her up and back towards the land and towards him.
“I’m beginning to think that you want to fall into that lake,” he said jokingly.
“And what would I do if you weren’t here to catch me?” she said, stepping back a short distance and looking at him again.
God, if it was even possible, he looked even more handsome and strong in his uniform than before. His face seemed softened since their last words together.
“You look…great. I heard you were arriving today,” he said. “I wanted to…”
He paused as they stared at one another. They seemed to lose track of time gazing into each other’s eyes. She felt a cool breeze come over the lake, and then rays of sunshine broke through a cloud, practically spotlighting the two of them by the lake.
“I wanted to let you know we found out who attacked your house that night.”
She couldn’t help but feel a moment of disappointment. While she wanted the vandals to be caught, they weren’t the words she cared to hear. She wanted Jake to want her again.
“A kid, just turned seventeen, came into the station this morning, believe it or not. He said he had found Jesus and had to confess. Said that Carl paid him and another kid to do it.”
“Carl! Why that no good son of a…” Terri said. The lengths that man went to just to close a real estate deal made some of the biggest sharks she met in New York City seem like minnows in comparison.
“My sentiments exactly. It makes me sick to know a member of my family would do something like that,” Jake said. “I’m going to make sure he gets sentenced and punished for what he did. And word will spread how he likes to conduct business around here. His reputation’s good as gone.”
Terri stood quiet for a moment, and then shook her head, looking at a small flower at her feet growing by the lake.
“Don’t. I’m not going to press charges if that’s what’s needed.”
“What? Why?” Jake said perplexed.
Terri reached down and plucked the purple wild flower that grew by the water. The simple yet beautiful nature of this place still amazed her. Life goes on, wherever it is.
“He has a family to support. What will his wife and children do without him? I’ll be the bigger person here.”
“Wow, you amaze me,” Jake said. “You don’t have to do that for him, you know? He can get what’s coming to him.”
“I know,” she said, before adding, “Instead tell him I won’t press charges if he makes a sizeable donation to the new research center.”
Jake smiled. “I think that sounds like a plan. I bet you are good in the courtroom, Miss Lawson.”
She looked down at the delicate flower, as delicate as her heart felt. She needed to say what ached within her soul. Don’t ever be scared to be happy, Uncle Bud’s words echoed in her head. Even if this situation didn’t or couldn’t go the way she would ultimately like, she had to get things off her chest and make peace with herself.
“I thought about calling you all the time, Jake. Every day I thought about it. I wanted to try and at least help you understand why I did what I did. And I wanted to tell you how much you meant to me. I honestly don’t know how I could have made it through the things that happened here without you.”
“Thank you for your kindness. I’ve had a lot of time to think, and actually, Professor Redfeather has helped me.”
“He has? In what way?” Terri asked.
“We’ve talked a lot about his research of the two-spirit people and the special roles they played within the tribe. But, I already knew you were…are...special. I just didn’t realize how special you were until you left. I missed you,” he paused before adding, “I did think about calling you.”
Terri’s heart swelled with happiness at those words. It hadn’t been only her who felt the pain of their separation. He had been thinking about her, too.
“Look, I know that you live in the big city, and I’m just a country guy that may not understand everything about you…yet,” Jake said, weighing his words carefully. He wondered if she knew how much courage it took him to open his heart up just a little again. Here he was a man who faced criminals and the unknown every day, but matters of the heart, and the idea of being hurt and losing love again, terrified him. “But maybe while you’re here in town we could have dinner. Sally wants to see you at the Café. We can talk some things out some and get reacquainted. Start all over without any secrets.”
“Deal,” Terri said. “Dinner sounds delightful. Under one condition.”
“Uh, oh! What’s that?” Jake said, looking at her mischievous eyes.
“No Viking-on-a-Stick. I loved it, but a gal has to watch her figure. Two spirits, okay. Two bodies, not so much.”
Jake chuckled and his eyes sparkled the way they did the day they went to the MontanaFair.
“Deal,” he said.
And then, catching her by surprise, Jake reached out and took her hand. She had forgotten how nice and warm he felt. His hand was strong yet gentle, like Sheriff Jake Collins himself.
“Want to head back? I know Professor Redfeather is very excited to show you some of his discoveries,” Jake cocked his head toward the ranch house.
She squeezed his hand, smiled, and said, “That’d be wonderful, Jake. I’d love to go back.”
The two of them headed towards the house, hand in hand, the future unclear but still full of possibilities, like the endless autumn Montana sky.
Two Spirit Ranch Page 10
