by Belle Brooks
“I will. Message me if you get sick, okay?”
He puts his thumb into the air before disappearing into the bedroom. I take this as my cue to leave.
Entering my room, I hurry to get ready. A strapless navy cotton dress loosely falls from under my breasts, stopping before my knee. I match this dress with a pair of black heels and a black clutch, the only dinner outfit I brought with me.
Flicking my eyes to the small gold face on the watch my mother brought me after we came to an agreement and she visited two months ago, I’m alerted to the time—6:53 p.m. My stomach fills with a sensation of fluttering. In only a few minutes, I’ll have the opportunity to spend time with Finlay again.
Applying a fresh coat of gloss over my red lipstick, I scoop up the clutch and go to press in the lock on the back of the door. There is no lock. Swipe card silly. The door closes behind me.
I startle, because when I step in the direction of the elevator Finlay is quietly waiting. His dark jeans and grey dress shirt fit him perfectly, and when his chocolate brown eyes gaze into mine, my heart races. I don’t think he’ll ever stop having such an effect on me.
“I saw you, so I waited.” His lips part then close, and with this movement I close my eyes and think back to when those lips used to claim mine, and how I’d like this experience again.
“Thank you.” My voice is barely audible.
“You look beautiful, Rose,” he says when I sway my hips in his direction.
I can only imagine I’m grinning like the Cheshire cat. The compliment means everything to me. “Thank you.”
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
As the elevator doors part in welcoming, we board, and my hand warms. Finlay has taken it in his, and I don’t dare pull away.
“I’m not hungry,” I mumble as we step out on the ground floor.
“Neither am I.” I’m not sure if this is true, because the way he is staring at me is contradictory—his eyes are fiercely hungered.
“Would you like to just walk for a while?”
“Yes, I think I would, Rose.”
Hand in hand, we take to the footpath and wander with no destination in our minds. We talk; we talk non-stop about everything. Alan and his new girlfriend, Gia, who Finlay seems to express quite a fondness for. The lads and how Sailor and Tardo are both settling down with significant others, and how they’ve become accustomed to the upper class way of living, but when the conversation turns to Tessa we halt all movement.
“She knew where you were?” It’s almost like Finlay can’t process this.
“Yes. She did.”
He takes my upper arm, gently moving me to make a clear path for moving pedestrians.
“Tessa is quite poorly now, isn’t she?” I can hear it in her tone when we speak on the phone.
“Very.” There’s a horrible sadness invading his eyes. “The doctors say it’s only a matter of months.”
“I’m sorry, Fin.”
“So am I. Tessa has done much for many, and it seems she’s also done even more than I knew about, like being in contact with you.” And there’s the look of betrayal replacing his sadness.
“Please understand she was only helping.”
“I would have—” He stops.
“You made the right decision.” My hand finds his cheek, and as I run my fingers over his stubble, I don’t break eye contact.
“Are you happy, Rose?”
“I really am.”
Finlay takes a step backwards, and with this my hand falls away. “Tell me about university.” He changes the subject, and I allow it.
“I love school. I’m studying to be a veterinarian.”
Warmth again radiates through my hand as he claims it, and we begin to walk once more.
“Veterinarian, hey?”
“It made sense to me, but I’m not sure why. Maybe my short time in a farming community when I was a child subconsciously influenced me. Or maybe it’s the fact I’ve always had such a strong love for animals. Or, Fin, maybe it’s because I had no idea what to do after losing you.”
Silence follows me saying this. Finlay is protective of his heart, I fear, and I need to be patient with him and allow him to process what he has learnt from me so far.
“And your friends?” He croaks before clearing his throat.
“My friends … well, they are wonderfully nice. Luke seems to be the leader of our group, and I think this is because he always has the best study notes. He’s more focused than me.”
A smile touches his lips and then vanishes.
“Rooming with Casey and Tara is sort of like having my very own sisters living here. Well, more relaxed versions, anyway.” I giggle. “I can confide in them, and they never ask for anything or expect me to be a certain way. Ziggy is Tara’s partner …”
“I missed you,” he blurts out, catching me off-guard.
“I know,” I whisper, meeting his gaze.
“I’ve really missed you, Rose.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Finlay
It’s relaxed conversation as we dine in a small restaurant we stumbled across. If we hadn’t been walking past it, I’m sure we wouldn’t have known it existed. The place is not located on a main road, and it’s small. However, it’s booming with diners.
“Another glass of wine, ma’am?” a waitress asks in passing.
“No, thank you.” Rose politely declines, laying her hands on a circular table for two, which is clothed in red-and-white-checked linen.
“Anything for you, sir?” The waitress’s attention turns to me.
“No. I’m fine.”
Smiling broadly, the waitress moves on to the next table of diners.
“My parents and my sisters have come to visit me a few times now.”
I’m shocked by this admission. “I thought the point was for them not to know you were here.” I’m instantly worried.
“No! My leaving home was to create space and a mutual territory to negotiate terms with them, and also to give Slade time to get over his pride. My leaving Hoffman, on the other hand, was your plan. I never made that decision, you did, but it all seems to have worked out in the end.”
“Fair call. So how did your father take this news?” It’s a sarcastic delivery accompanied by a rolling of my eyes.
“He wasn’t ecstatic about the idea, as you can imagine, but he’s supportive now with the decision I’ve made.”
“I’m glad. I’ve seen your parents in passing a few times, but I haven’t had any conversations with them.”
“Bullshit,” Rose huffs.
“Sorry?”
“I’ve been in contact with Tessa and Rance, remember?”
I offer Rose an uneasy smile. “Okay, a few times I’ve talked with them. It was mainly heated conversation, I will admit. Once they caught onto the fact you were no longer in Hoffman and had disappeared, they were worried, so they reported you missing.”
“I know they did.” Rose pauses briefly. “I contacted the police and let them know I was safe after Rance rang to tell me what my parents did.”
Here I was thinking I was in control of the keep-Rose-safe mission, but turns out I wasn’t in control at all. Maybe Rose never changed her number. Maybe her number was just blocked from me.
“Don’t be mad.” Rose studies me with a look of what I believe to be uncertainty.
“I’m not mad. I figured you must have contacted someone who could make them cease the search party. However, I thought you must have known about the report after seeing it splashed across the Internet or television, not from Rance.”
“I didn’t want anything to happen that could get you into trouble. I knew my parents would do something like they did, so I was keeping a watchful eye on reports, but Rance managed to contact me before I saw any.” Rose’s eyes close momentarily before she flashes them open and says, “Slade is engaged to be married, so I’ve heard.”
“Yeah. It’s the word around town.” Does she care?
“If you think so.” At least my heartache wasn’t in vain.
“You don’t?”
“It hasn’t been easy, Rose. I live between your parents and Slade’s father.”
“They’ve left you alone, though, right?”
“Yeah, they have for a long while now. It still doesn’t take away from the fact it’s a constant reminder of you.”
“Why haven’t you moved?” she blurts out, as if I should have done so.
“What’s the point of moving? Shit seems to follow me no matter where I go. It’s the life of a loser.”
Her eyes widen to the size of saucers. “You’re not a loser.” It’s almost a scolding the way Rose says this. “Why would you say that about yourself?”
I shrug. “Because it’s true.”
“You’re not a loser.” Her tone is harsh.
“You keep telling yourself this, Rose. Anyway, are you finished eating? Do you want anything more to eat?”
“Yes, I’m finished, and no, I don’t.” She takes the red napkin she’d laid on her lap and throws it onto the table.
“Rose.” I reach out my hand and place it on top of hers, which causes her to snatch her hand back.
“Leave it,” she snaps.
Is she mad?
We stand out front and Rose paces at first before she comes to stop at my feet. “Why didn’t you come find me? Why? I thought we had something special, something—”
“So you’re mad at me for the way things ended? You said you weren’t, but it seems like you are.”
“Why didn’t you come find me? It’s been an entire year. I thought you wouldn’t have been able to stay away this long. I thought you’d move hell or high water to find me regardless of the ramifications … I was wrong.” Her eyes glaze with moisture.
“I need to go back to the hotel. I have to begin a long drive home to Hoffman tomorrow morning, bright and early.”
“I understand.” She scowls.
Considering we both have absolutely no idea how far we’ve wandered from the hotel or how to get back there, I decide it’s best to order a taxi. It arrives promptly.
It’s a silent, yet short commute, and we arrive back at our destination safely. We hadn’t travelled away as far as I thought we had; it wouldn’t have taken much time to walk back. Slipping the driver a fifty-dollar note for his effort has Rose giggling without warning.
“For such a small distance you gave the driver a rather large tip.”
Rose’s expression has me wondering if she’s finding this humorous or ridiculous—I’m not sure which one. I’m also not sure if this laughter indicates her previous upset has passed.
“It’s only money,” I say as we enter the lobby of the hotel with a minor gap between us.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Rose shakes her head. “I’m sorry I went off like I did.”
I place my hand to her arm. “It’s okay.”
“Can we forget about my moment of craziness?”
“Moment of what, now? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I smile to indicate all has been forgotten.
We continue walking to the lifts.
“I’m surprised you came all this way to collect a bike. It’s not like you couldn’t afford to have it freighted, right?”
Is Rose making a statement or is she trying to gather information.
“Yeah. I could have, but it’s a private sale and purchase, and I like to personally check those out myself to make sure we’re not going to end up with a dodgy deal and nothing for our money. Plus, I had a few others I wanted to look at in person.”
“Makes sense.” She eyes me fondly when we step into the elevator.
I go to take her hand, but refrain, because in a moment’s time, I’m saying goodbye to Rose, and I don’t want to complicate matters any further. After all, Rose is happy, she said it herself, and for this reason alone, it’s best to leave things this way.
Rose shifts from foot to foot as we stand by her room’s door. Is she nervous? Or uncomfortable?
“I had a lovely evening.”
“Me too. I’m glad I bumped into you and we had an opportunity to spend time together.” I pause, trying to memorise how she looks now so I can take this image with me. “Well, night, Rose,” I say once I’m satisfied I’ve stared at her long enough.
“Goodnight, Fin. Please take care.” Her fingers skim my arm before she retreats them back.
“You too.” Turning away, my heart is heavy and my stomach rolls over as if I’m going to be sick. If I’ve done this once, I can do it again. Maybe I shouldn’t have even gone out with her tonight.
“Fin,” she speaks softly.
“Yes.” I keep my back turned and Rose from my view.
“Do you think I could see you again?” Her voice shakes on asking.
“Yeah. I’ll come back sometime and see you.”
“I’d love to keep in contact, if you’d also like to?”
“I’ll need your number for that.”
Slipping my hand instinctively into my jean pocket, I swivel on my heel and take the few strides back to Rose, handing her my mobile phone.
“You’ve already got my number. I just need to unblock you. It never changed.”
“Oh. Okay.” Of course she fucking does.
“I’ll hear from you then?” She hands me my phone back.
“I’ll message you, definitely.”
“Good.”
Her hand plants to my cheek without warning, and as she runs her fingers over my skin I want nothing more than to kiss her. Can I kiss her, though?
Her bottle green eyes glue to mine, and I can’t control my need to step forwards, closing the final portion of the remaining gap.
Wrapping my arm around her small waist, I allow my lips to hover over hers without even knowing I’ve managed to be this close to her.
“Fin,” she breathes.
“Can I kiss you, Rose?”
She nods before I tilt my head slightly and press my lips to hers, taking my time before sliding my tongue into her mouth with ownership.
Rose tastes just as pure as I remember, and I can’t help forcing the connection of our mouths until I reach the point where I need to catch my breath and must release her.
“I have to go.” Rose appears to be straining, as if she’s trying not to cry.
“Okay,” I say, giving her space.
Once her door is unlocked by the swipe card she initially fumbles, she disappears from my sight for good.
I barely get a lick of sleep, and when the alarm sirens at 6:00 a.m., I know it’s time to go. The only thing is, I’m having a lot of trouble processing this thought because I don’t want to leave Rose.
With my bag hitched to my shoulder, I twist the door handle and close it behind me, “Time to go,” I mumble.
I hesitate, but I know I need to return home because Tessa and Alan need me and I have responsibilities to attend to.
Swivelling on my heel, my eyes bug wide because Rose sits on the floor with her back pressed against the wall of the corridor.
“Hi.” She stands gingerly, and I remain stilled. “I didn’t want to miss talking to you before you left, so I’ve been out here for a little while.” A light pink suitcase is positioned beside her, so I assume she must also be leaving.
I’m staring at her and a million thoughts are travelling through my mind at the speed of light, but I’m unable to say any of them out loud.
“Take me with you.” It’s a desperate plea as she approaches me.
“You have school.” I manage to spit out.
“No. I don’t. We were here celebrating our last exams for the year … It’s the end of October, which means we’re on a three-month summer holiday starting this weekend.”
“Rose.”
“Please. Take me with you. I’m ready to go back, and
I want to see Tessa before she …” Rose can’t even say it. I don’t blame her—neither can I.
“You need to stay here and live your life, Rose. You’re happy—you said you were happy.”
“I am happy, and I’ll be coming back to continue my degree. It’s what I want to do, but I also want to spend a little time in Hoffman. There’s no need to worry. I know it will be fine to be there with how much time has passed.”
“No.” What are you doing, you idiot? Take her with you.
“Fin …”
“I’m sorry, Rose, but I can’t say goodbye to you again in three months’ time or a couple of weeks. I’d want you for myself, every day and every night and that’s not fair to you. I can’t have this conversation with you. I have to leave and get on the road.”
The wounded look she flashes me makes it hard for me to pass by her, but I manage to, going straight to the elevator so I can get the hell out of here.
When the doors part, I step in and hope to God Rose doesn’t take chase. She doesn’t, and before they get a chance to seal, she yells, “I still love you, Finlay. I love you.”
Throwing my arm into the small gap sees them reopened, and I step back out.
“I never stopped, and I haven’t met anybody else,” she continues. “Nor do I want to. I’m standing here in hopes that you love me.”
“I … I do ….” I stop speaking and just look into those bottle green eyes. I want her more than anything. Do I go for the second most convincing lie I will ever tell or not?
At first, I stare at her, watching teardrops escape from her eyes, but then I take a step closer. “Rose, I don’t want a holiday fling because I want something long-lasting, like life-lasting. Like … It just wouldn’t work.”
“We’d make it work.”
Rose might be convinced of this, but I’m not. There’s no way her family would ever be happy with us being together. I mean, I can’t stand her father as far as I could throw him. The man is an arsehole, even more so for what he did to Rose.
“How?”
“We would—I know we would.” Her cheeks are tear-stained.
“Rose …”
“Did you really love me like Rance said you did? And if you did, can you tell if you still feel this way about me now?”
