by L. M. Carr
“But…how do you know that?” My mouth drops open in surprise and my head shakes from side to side.
He couldn’t possibly know that I literally held his heart in my hand. It’s impossible!
“You stayed away from me for a month. A lot happened in that time.”
Guilt floods my soul at the thought of him alone at the hospital. My emotions were a jumbled mess. Guilt, relief, desire and confusion all fought for prominence because I couldn’t believe, I didn’t want to believe, that I was falling in love with my husband’s best friend.
I shift my body to sit on the bed as exhaustion, physically and emotionally, sets in. Tyler sits beside me, taking my hand in his.
“I know this is new for you…the idea of us, but it’s not for me. I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
I smile at his words, wishing I could reciprocate his feelings, but I can’t. We have so much to learn about each other and so many obstacles to overcome.
“I don’t expect you to say anything in return. At least… not right now.” He tips his head and raises his shoulder, those bluish-green eyes holding me still, causing my insides to stir until a crooked grin appears on his face. “Maybe tomorrow though.”
“Do you understand now why I didn’t come around or talk to you?”
“I PROMISE YOU it’s just off the road about a quarter of a mile,” Tyler laughs, pointing straight ahead.
I smirk and give him a side eye as my car travels slowly over the dips of the uneven road. I’m sure the front end will need an alignment after this trip.
“What’s that look for?”
“That’s my side eye!” I quip. “I reserve it for special occasions.”
Minutes later, Tyler directs me to park in a secluded area before he maneuvers his crutches and gets himself out with little assistance.
“Hang on! I’ll help you.” I race around the car, but I’m too late.
“Karrie, my leg is broken, but the rest of my body works just fine.”
I’m left speechless, remembering how hard he felt last night as his erection pressed into my belly. It was supposed to be a quick kiss goodnight, but our hands had other plans.
“C’mon this way,” he motions with his head and my legs take strides behind him, following along closely.
“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here? I don’t know about this.”
Tyler continues trudging on through the overgrown grass until he reaches a dilapidated fence. My eyes scan the view before me. The city cloaked in evening twilight glows a shade of purple with a hint of faded orange.
“It’s beautiful.”
Never in my life have I seen the place I’ve always lived from this perspective.
My arm brushes against his as I place my forearms on the fence, mirroring his actions.
Down in the distance, cars rush by and streetlights illuminate, marking the end of another day. Moments slip by as we relish the peace and quiet.
“Why’d you bring me here?”
Tyler ignores my question and leans over, pointing to something far away.
“I don’t know what you’re pointing to.” I squint, trying to see clearly.
“That right there.” With one arm, he pulls me close and lines his finger up with my line of sight.
“The clock tower?” I ask, wondering what’s so special about it. I’ve seen it a million times.
“It’s been repainted. See how the light reflects off the windows facing west?”
My eyebrows cock upwards. “And?”
“Did you notice it before right now?” he challenges.
My hands rise and twist. “I don’t know. I guess not.”
“You’re that for me.”
I palm his forehead, checking for the presence of a fever.
“Sometimes you don’t see the beauty in something until you step back and look at it from a distance.”
I smile softly as my heart swells. “From a distance,” I whisper, repeating his words.
“You’re my clock tower.”
I bury my face in his chest, inhaling deeply, and wrap my arms around his waist. His hold on me tightens, his lips press a kiss on my hair.
“How are we going to do this?” I ask, wiping the moisture from my eyes.
“One day at a time.” He tips my chin and kisses me chastely before adding, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Thank you for this.”
***
TYLER AND I fall into a routine relatively quickly over the next few weeks. After sleeping in the guest room the nights I work, he greets me in the morning with a light breakfast before I sleep for a few hours.
I wake to the sound of voices. Grabbing my robe, I head downstairs into the kitchen and find Tyler sitting across from Roger. Both men’s eyes flash in my direction and the papers on the table are immediately slid back into a manila folder.
My suspicion and curiosity are awakened, replacing my desire to kiss Tyler good morning.
“What’s going on?”
I breeze into the room, neglecting to greet Roger as I take a seat at the table. I have a niggling feeling this conversation is about me.
“How are you, Karrie?”
Roger leans over to offer a kiss, but stops shy when my body tenses. My eyes snap in Tyler’s direction by way of habit.
“I’m fine.” My tone is softer.
Tyler and Roger speak at the same time.
“It’s nothing—”
“We’re going over—”
I finish the sentence as I reach for the folder. “Alex’s will.”
With a quick motion, Tyler’s hand covers mine and he looks down, confirming what I know to be true. His touch feels different; it’s one of sympathy mingled with pity. I slide my hand out from beneath his and sigh heavily.
The weight of Alex’s betrayal feels like a boulder sitting on my chest. Not only is the document a painful reminder of what Alex did, but for Tyler and Roger to review it here, in my own house, is completely wrong, downright rude and disrespectful.
“When do I have to leave by?” I ask, my voice completely devoid of emotion.
“What?” Tyler gasps. “What are you talking about?” His eyes round into balls of disbelief.
My heart cracks at the idea that he’s played me for a fool. He never wanted me; he didn’t want me to contest the will. I said I wouldn’t and I won’t. I don’t want Alex’s money.
“Karrie, nobody said anything about you leaving,” Roger intervenes as a look of sincerity spreads across his face. “In fact—”
“Roger, could you give us a minute?” Tyler asks, clenching his jaw tightly, staring at me intensely. I try to decipher what I see, but I can’t. My eyes aren’t working properly; they’re blurred and tainted by the ugly color of lies and betrayal.
When I flatten my palms to push myself up and away from the table, Tyler grabs my wrist firmly.
“Sit down.”
I narrow my eyes, slightly offended by his tone.
“Please,” he adds, although he’s glaring at me in complete anger.
I huff, surrendering the fight and sit down.
“I told you I wouldn’t challenge his will.”
Leaning closer, bringing his face inches from mine, he growls, “And I told you I don’t want anything of his…except you.”
I swallow nervously and ask, “Then why is Roger here?”
He blows a puff of air through flared nostrils as his chest rises and falls.
“I contested the will, stating that I do not believe Alex was of sound mind and body when he made these changes.”
“What?” I shriek. “Can you do that?”
“I don’t know, but I did.”
I continue in astonishment. “Why would you do that?”
Determination alters his face and his eyes gleam with intensity. “You still don’t get it. You’re keeping the house, the business, the bikes. Everything. I don’t want it…I only want you.”
With his hand around the nape of my
neck, he pulls me forward, kissing me slowly… perfectly.
Never have I met someone so selfless, so giving, so thoughtful. Never have I loved someone more. My chin quivers as tears of gratitude flood my eyes.
“There is one thing though,” he says, wiping his thumb across my cheek, preventing the tear from falling further.
I meet his eyes, assuring him I trust him with whatever he decides.
“I’ve asked Roger to set aside some money for a college fund.”
My forehead wrinkles in confusion and then smooths out, thinking about his nephew Tre.
“I think that’s a great idea.” I smile, thinking about how much he loves that little boy as I reach for his hand and lace my fingers with his.
“I didn’t hear any pots and pans being thrown around so I’m assuming it’s safe to come back in.” Roger walks in and sits down. His eyes flash to our joined hands before he stares at me, offering a subtle nod and the hint of a smile.
Roger turns his attention to Tyler. “So we’re all set?”
“We are,” he confirms decisively.
“I’ll be in touch,” Roger calls from the door as he opens it wide and calls my name. “Hey Karrie?”
My feet stop dead in their tracks and I turn around to face him.
“Take care of each other.”
I glance at Tyler and smile.
“Always.”
“I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be down in a bit,” I announce, spinning on my heels and heading for the door before I utter the words and ask him to join me. I know it’s an impossibility with his cast and the fact that we’ve not defined any specific terms to our unexpected relationship, but God I’m desperate for him.
“Don’t be too long.”
I duck my head with embarrassment, thinking about his comments a few days ago when he teased about how flushed my face was. I’m sure he realized why I took such a long shower after our kissing escalated to touching.
I climb the stairs quietly, suppressing a smile, trying desperately to contain my excitement that he might be able to join me in the shower sooner rather than later.
Hot water rains down on me as I stand there, thinking about Alex as I lather myself with soap. As my hand glides over my breasts, the image of Tyler’s hands come to mind. I quietly moan as I pleasure myself. When my heartbeat slows and my breathing returns to normal, I step out of the shower and dry off. I pat my face dry and meet my reflection in the mirror. With each swipe of my hand, I erase the steam and realize that each day Alex is becoming a distant memory. Someone from my past.
“You good?” Tyler asks after he finds me by the front window. It’s at this same window where I stood so many times watching him as he waited for Alex.
I sweep a glance at him, freshly showered and looking scrumptious with a hooded sweatshirt and his sweatpants cut above the knee to accommodate the binding.
“How’d you manage to take a shower? I mean,” I drag my eyes lower away from his face and motion to his leg, “with that cast and all.”
He grins wickedly, piercing me with a meaningful stare. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass!” I adjust the oversized bag on my shoulder and walk through the front door, leaving him behind.
Even though I don’t turn around, I know he’s laughing when he claims he can’t close the door.
The drive through the city is fine, but we’re faced with incredible traffic due to construction once we hit the highway. Tyler changes the radio station often until he stops and turns the dial.
“You like country music?”
He pretends to tip his hat and feigns a southern accent.
“Yes, ma’am, I do.”
I roll my eyes in disbelief.
“Oh yeah, who’s this?” I nod my chin toward the radio.
“Sam Hunt.”
I giggle and hum, storing this little nugget of information.
I park the car and turn off the engine. My fingers comb through my hair and massage my temples.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know why you made me suffer through that!”
We walk into the building discussing the pros and cons of country music.
After waiting for almost an hour from the time we arrived at the orthopedic surgeon’s office, we head over to radiology for Tyler’s x-rays.
We wait and wait and then we wait some more until Tyler eventually stands, adjusting his crutches when his name is called by a young medical assistant who’s wearing fitted zebra printed scrubs.
“Hey Ty,” she draws his name out slowly, smiling seductively. Her red smeared lips pull back into a sly Cheshire cat smile. I suddenly want to gouge her eyeballs out and smack that smile off her face. I might just kill her cat, too.
After acknowledging her quickly, he turns to me. “Come on.”
“You want me to go in with you?” I close the magazine in my hand. It’s not something I’ve done before. I usually sit here waiting while I catch up on the Hollywood gossip that fills the pages of People or In Touch weekly.
“It’s okay. She doesn’t have to come if she doesn’t want to,” Zebra Girl interjects.
She huffs quietly when Tyler ignores her.
“Do I really have to ask again?” An eyebrow lifts in question.
I suppress a smile as I set the magazine down and proceed to walk alongside him.
“Excuse me,” I say, breezing past Zebra Girl who simply smirks at me.
Tyler hops onto the stiff exam table and the crinkling of the paper is deafening. There’s an underlying tension in the small room and I don’t like it.
“I’m just going to check your vitals real quick.”
He nods as she secures the cuff around his bicep.
“Would you mind taking off your sweatshirt?” She giggles nervously then continues, “I need to get a good reading.”
Reaching from behind, Tyler pulls the thick material over his head and drops it into his lap. He watches me as I watch her as she removes the stethoscope from around her neck and places it on his chest.
“Good strong heart.”
Tyler glances at her.
“I bet you can go for hours.”
My eyes widen and my jaw drops open.
“What?” I gasp loudly while Ty exclaims, “Excuse me?”
Zebra Girl glows bright red, almost matching the color of her hair.
“I thought...you’re a runner, aren’t you?” she stutters, tying to claw her way out of the hole she’s dug herself into.
His face transforms into one of disgust. “No! I hate running!”
“Oh, sorry! I must have you confused with someone else.” She turns away and types into the small computer sitting on the counter. “What is it that you do again?”
“I race. I’m a drag racer.”
“Yes! That’s right!” She spins around quickly, facing him with wild excitement on her face.
Bike bitch. That’s what this one is. A total and complete bike bitch. Women like her were the reason I stopped going to the track in the first place. I hated the way they all gathered at the trailers, waiting and hoping to get an ounce of attention from the guys. Especially the guys who always won. Like Alex.
“I’m going to have to come see you race. I’d love to cheer you on.”
I want to wave my hand and remind her that I’m still in the room.
“Nah,” he shakes his head, “that’s okay. I’ve got my number one cheerleader right here.” He smiles at me and my heart soars.
Finally, she receives the message.
He’s taken.
He’s off the market.
He’s mine.
“The doctor will be in to see you soon,” she replies, ignoring the fact that he’s just rejected her offer. She closes the door behind her and I blow out a deep breath.
“Can you believe her? My God, I thought she was going to throw herself on top of you.”
A light chuckle floats in the air. “Yea
h, she was a little much.”
“A little?”
“You should see the ones at the tr—”
My countenance falls.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”
“You don’t have to apologize to me for what you guys did.”
“You guys?”
“You don’t have to lie to me. I know all about your girls in the trailer.” I chuck dryly. “Believe me, Alex didn’t spare any details.”
Tyler inhales sharply, his chest puffing out before he blows the hot air out as his fists clench tightly. “Son of a bitch,” he mumbles. “That son of a bitch.”
I’m surprised by the ferocity of his voice. I don’t understand why he’s so upset and angry that Alex told me how he screwed all those women. It didn’t matter to me then.
A light knock on the door is followed by the entry of Dr. McLeod, a petite woman with short black hair. Her smile is warm and friendly as she introduces herself to me and then proceeds to wash her hands, turning over her shoulder to ask Tyler how he’s feeling. The results of the x-rays reveal the fracture is now healed. She’s happy with the progress and results.
“So are you ready to get this thing off?” She balls her small hand into a fist and knocks on the plaster covering.
“Yes,” he hisses, failing miserably to disguise irritation in his voice.
Dr. McLeod peeks up at him.
“Everything okay?”
“It will be.”
He turns his eyes on me and suddenly I feel as though I’m the perpetrator.
Using some sort of drill, the doctor carefully cuts through the cast, slicing right through the names written colorfully in Sharpie marker. Friends and colleagues, nurses and hospital staff all took a few minutes to decorate the solid mold. I see Penny’s name and internally cringe.
The angry expression fades from Tyler’s face the moment the cast falls away, setting his bare leg free. The skin is moist and pale, the hair on his leg is matted down. Using his hand, he massages his leg, bringing sensation back.
“How does it feel?”
“Like pizza dough.”
The doctor laughs lightly. “Well… that’s one I’ve never heard before.”
Tyler grins.
She offers careful assistance, helping him to stand as he applies his full weight. My eyes never stray from his leg; for some reason, I think it might snap in half carrying the mass of muscle that covers his bones.
