by Ava May
“I don't want to talk about it.”
“No, well, it's not a nice feeling to have your heart broken,” he said. Amelia was about to turn and yell at him, defend herself, but at the last moment she thought better of it.
“Enjoy the rest of the party, Daniel,” she said, and walked up to Lisa, who was becoming friendly with a man Amelia didn't recognize.
“Can I talk to you?” Amelia asked. Lisa was twirling her hair and giggling at some joke the guy had made, and she didn't bother looking at Amelia. So Amelia asked again.
“Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?” Lisa said, giving Amelia a warning look. Amelia sighed, got herself a drink, and backed away. Avoiding Daniel, she moved through the rest of the party and looked at all the familiar faces there. It was just like going through a time warp and landing back at one of the parties she'd been to in the last five or so years, but there was something different. People had grown up and changed now. No longer were they free from the burdens of life. High school and college had provided a bubble for people to act out without thinking about the consequences. Back then, at this point of a party, there was usually one person completely wasted, but now people seemed more civilized. Amelia felt a warm haze seep through her as she drank her drink, and nodded at the people as she walked through. Many of them had changed, and she wondered if people were looking at her the way she was looking at them. What did people think of her?
Everyone seemed older than they did in high school, and not just because they had aged naturally. They looked weary, as if all the promise and hope that had been glowing before them at graduation had been revealed as an illusion. Amelia was in the same boat. Life hadn't turned out how she wanted it to, and she wasn't sure whether she'd be able to correct her course. For all her posturing to Lisa, she was worried about the future and wondered whether she'd ever find her true place in the world. As she exchanged small talk with old friends and caught up with them they always asked her what she was doing with her life, and she told all of them that she was planning to go to Europe. This had most of them in awe, and they all said that they'd love to do something like that, but really Amelia knew that she was only covering up for a lack of a plan. In truth, she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. There had only been one person that she'd been able to confide in about those things, and he was scheduled to arrive at any moment.
After mingling for a while, Amelia found herself constantly looking at the door. Whenever it opened, her heart leaped, only for her to see that it was just another normal person. She went back to see if she could find Lisa, but when she did, Lisa was locking lips with the man she had been talking to. Jodie was rushing around the house trying to keep things together as the party continued. Amelia had another drink, and then another, and she caught up with a number of people. The hours passed and she resigned herself to the fact that Jack wasn't going to show up. She shouldn't have been surprised really, after all, being a billionaire he must have had a lot of other engagements. Still, now that it seemed she wasn't going to see him she found herself feeling disappointed, and felt foolish that she'd been afraid to see him. She knew in that moment that there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to see him again. Then, everyone rushed to the window as a car pulled up outside, and Amelia's heart beat rapidly in her chest.
Chapter 4
The roaring engine came to a halt and the front beams switched off. An excited murmur rippled through everyone as they waited his arrival with bated breath. Jodie angrily pushed through everyone, making her way to the front door so that she could welcome the esteemed guest. Amelia tried not to stare at the door, but she found that she could not look away. Meanwhile, she listened to everyone whispering as Jack approached the house.
He got hot!
That suit probably costs more than my apartment.
I can't believe I went to school with him.
I bet he's got a helluva lot of stories to tell.
Do you think he's going to remember any of us?
And the questions continued. Amelia tried to shrink into the shadows, suddenly overwhelmed by fear at the moment when she would have to see her old friend. She backed into a wall, far away from the crowd who surrounded the door, and glanced with furtive eyes as it opened and Jack strode in.
As soon as he was inside, he was bombarded with greetings, hugs, and handshakes. He smiled at them all and slowly moved forward. As he did so, it gave Amelia the opportunity to examine him after so many years had passed. At first glance she didn't recognize him for he was wearing a smart suit and had his hair cut neatly. Jack always used to be a mess, and protested whenever he had to dress smartly. He was also at ease in a crowd, and to watch him maneuver through the crowd so effortlessly was a strange sight. She looked more closely at him, trying to see if there was any part of the Jack she remembered—her Jack—and it was a little while until she found it. But as he was moving in between people, an expression flickered on his face, and she smiled to herself, for it was a look she had seen many times, a look of frustration and impatience. It seemed that he had honed a civil facade.
The closer he got to her, the further she moved away, still reticent to actually talk to him, especially with all the other people around. He walked with confidence and he had filled out quite a bit, with an athletic, masculine frame that looked powerful and assured. Everyone orbited around him like planets around a star, and it was an eerie sight to behold, for at high school the two of them mostly kept themselves to themselves and didn't feel a need to play the political games of belonging to cliques. He entertained their questions, but even as he was engaged in conversation he seemed to be looked for something else, for someone else. Then his eyes found hers, and his face lit up.
Excusing himself from his current conversation, he extricated himself from the masses and strode forward to meet Amelia. Her cheeks burned crimson as she shifted her glance from side to side, hoping to find a way out. But before she knew it, he was embracing her in a tight hug, lifting her feet of the ground. Enveloped in his arms, her senses were flooded with a myriad of sensations, and she found his dark, musky aftershave intoxicating. To be hugged by him was a familiar feeling, and yet it felt strange as well.
“You hug differently than I remember,” she said. He chuckled as he stepped back.
“Is that a good or a bad thing?” he asked, looking directly into her eyes with his piercing blue gaze.
“I think it's these,” she said, pinching his bicep. “Someone's been busy.” He cast his eyes downward in embarrassment.
“It's easy to keep fit when you have a personal trainer. Where are the drinks?” he asked, looking around. Amelia led him to the kitchen and the gaggle of people followed them.
“Are they going to be like that all night?” he asked.
“Can you blame them? It's not often they have a celebrity in their midst,” Amelia said, and in fact she was a little starstruck herself when she looked at his gold watch, his Armani suit, and the shiny cuff links that gleamed under the electric lights. Jack sighed a little, as though he was bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, and started to pour himself a drink. In truth, Amelia was a little glad that everyone else was around them as it meant she didn't have to worry about being alone with him.
Jack turned around and lifted up his glass, ready to address the crowd.
“I know you all have a lot of questions and you want to hear about my crazy life, but part of the reason why I came here tonight was to escape that. I thought that coming back to my old friends would help me remember what got me to where I am today. So if you don't mind I'd just like to chill out tonight and take it easy. Yes, I'm happy to chat with you later, but what I really want is just to enjoy the party. So, who wants a drink?”
A loud cheer went up and Amelia couldn't help but smile. That was the Jack she knew, the Jack that she had always been privy too. Finally, he was able to be himself around large groups of people, and she felt a tinge of pride as she saw him joke aroun
d with everyone.
After he'd served a number of drinks, he turned to her and exhaled deeply, and though he had a jovial demeanor she could see a weariness in his eyes.
“Do you want to go outside and get some fresh air?” he said.
“Uh, sure,” Amelia said, and soon they had left the madness of the house and were enjoying the sweet, chilled air of the night.
Chapter 5
The garden was a long expanse of grass that curved around with many nooks and crannies in which to get lost. Somewhere in the distance, Amelia could hear the giggling of secret love, and it made her feel a little uneasy. She and Jack walked on together in silence.
“It's pretty strange isn't it? Seeing each other again after all this time,” he said,
“Yeah,” she replied, and both of them could feel the tension. After a little while they both went to speak together and interrupted each other. Laughing at the awkwardness helped alleviate the tension.
“So, your life has certainly been exciting,” she said.
“You could say that.”
“What are you doing back in town?”
“Actually, my grandmother died,” he said.
“Oh, I’m... I'm so sorry, I had no idea.”
“It's okay. She lived a full life and she was in so much pain by the end of it that I think she was grateful when the end finally came.”
“I'm surprised you came to the party.”
“I thought it'd be good to see old faces and, well… you.” As he said this, he turned his head and looked directly at her, making a wave of forgotten feelings swell up inside her. Don't be stupid, she thought to herself. That was a lifetime ago.
“I'm glad you did,” she said. “It's good to see you. I think it's great, you know, that you made something of yourself.”
“All I did was code a few things. Got lucky with the people I was friends with at college. They did most of the work. I was just along for the ride.”
“You're always too modest. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Jack shrugged. Now that he was away from everyone else he was more like the Jack she used to know.
“What about you? What are you up to nowadays?”
“Actually, I'm planning to travel...” she began, but then realized that she couldn't feed him the same lies as she fed to everyone else. “I'm not actually up to anything. I'm working as a waitress while life passes me by and I don't know how to stop it. I feel like college was the peak of my life and I don't know where to go from here. And I haven't been able to tell anyone that.”
“Why not?”
“Because nobody… you're the only one that I've been able to… you know,” she said, suddenly feeling sheepish.
“I know what you mean.”
“You must have loads of people at your beck and call though.”
“Yeah, but nobody like you. I miss you a lot, Amelia. I wish things had been different.”
“Well, it's not like things haven't worked out for you. You have the big money, the dream house, the beautiful girlfriends.”
He chuckled morbidly. “You'd be surprised. Most of those dates were arranged by publicists to generate some news. I haven't really been with anyone, not anything serious anyway.”
“Me neither...” The possibilities hung in the air, and the tone of the tension changed into something much more powerful, almost palpable.
“You know, you really do look good,” she said.
“So do you.”
“Please, compared to all the models and things you hang out with?”
“There's more to beauty than that,” he said quickly. It felt like they were on the verge of dangerous territory and Amelia was scared. He'd only just come back into her life and with it all the old emotions came rushing back, but they felt far more powerful this time and the attraction she was feeling towards him was just incredible. Her skin was prickling with goosebumps and she wasn't sure whether it was due to the cool night air or the feelings that were swimming in her soul.
“I'm surprised you even still think of me...” she said.
“Don't do that, Amelia.”
“What?”
“Sell yourself short. How could I not think of you? You're still the only one I've ever… oh you know what… forget it,” he said, and looked down at the ground.
“The only one you've ever what?” she asked.
“Don't worry about it. Look, I'm sorry things aren't going the way you planned but they'll turn around, you'll find your place, you've got everything going for you and I know you can be anything you want. You were always the most determined girl I knew and don't let the world run you down.”
She smiled sweetly at his compliments, and she'd missed the fact that he always believed in her no matter what.
“Thanks, Jack. But what do you mean the only one?”
“Do you really need me to say it?” he asked. “I thought that was all in the past.”
“What's in the past?”
“The fact that I love you, goddammit.”
Chapter 6
In all their time together, they had never actually said those three words to each other. There were a few times when they had come close, and Amelia was sure that she had felt it inside, but it had never been expressed until now. She was stunned. He ran his hand through his hair and exhaled deeply.
“You love me?” she asked, dumbfounded, not believing that after all this time that could be the case.
“Of course I do. Don't get me wrong—I've tried to move on, but even with all this money I can't forget you. I hate the way we left things. I always felt like there should have been more than what we said to each other, and we should have made more of an effort to see each other. I just… that summer was weird. I don't know what happened to us after we spent the night together but it's been on my mind ever since.”
“It's been on mine too. I guess that's why I haven't had a lasting relationship since you. It's always felt like we've had unfinished business,” she said in a small voice. “Maybe that's why my life has been stalled as well. But you've done so much without me, you're so successful. At this point I'd only hold you back.”
“Amelia, my life is great, but I'm not. I'm not happy. It all feels so meaningless and no matter what I do, do you know what my first thought is? I'm always thinking, 'I wish Amelia was here to share this with me.’ Because I was never happier than when I was with you.”
“You could have called...”
“I wanted to, so many times. But what was I going to say? There was so much distance between us, and I remembered what you said when we said goodbye, and I couldn't bring myself to go through that pain again.”
“What I said?” she asked, looking puzzled as she searched her mind for the things she said.
“You don't remember?” he said, laughing hollowly in disbelief. Amelia still had a blank expression on her face.
“You said that it was the perfect way to end things between us, that going off to college was a new chapter in our lives, and that if we never saw each other again then we'd always live knowing that somewhere we were out there, thinking about each other. You said that we'd change and come out of college as different people, and maybe our friendship was just meant to last up until that point. Do you know how much that hurt me? All I wanted to do was tell you how much I loved you but you seemed content to leave things where they were. So I followed your lead, and I tried to keep things going. I sent e-mails, tried to video chat, but it never worked out. In the end, I just didn't have the strength to go on anymore.” His voice was filled with raw emotion and she couldn't believe that she'd said such a thing. It had been such a long time ago...
“Jack...” she said. He turned away from her, and she felt anguish stabbing at her heart. “I don't remember that… god, I'm sorry. If I did say that then I'm an idiot. Everything was so weird that summer. It felt like everything was changing and I guess I was scared. But I love you too. I always have. I've been trying to pretend like I don’t, that my li
fe is what I wanted it to be, but it's not. I feel so lost. Jack… I love you too,” she said. As the words left her lips, he stared directly into her eyes and she could feel the attraction between them simmering. The silvery moon shone down on them, and the sounds of the party could be heard in the background, but the world melted away. Jack walked forward.
“Say it again,” he ordered.
“I love you,” she repeated, smiling widely, standing there, waiting for him. He came up to her and wrapped his arms around her, one palm pressed into the small of her back, pulling her into him, while the other cupped her cheek and moved around to the back of her neck, gently tugging at her hair. Their sweet breath mingled and their lips met, and a fire erupted within Amelia's heart. After it was over they gazed at each other, breathless.
“Come on,” Jack said, taking her by the hand and leading her back through the house. Everyone attempted to grab his attention as they walked back through but he ignored them all. Out of the corner of Amelia’s eye, she saw Lisa, who gave her a thumbs up. She knew that she'd have a lot of explaining to do to her friend later, but as she walked out of the front door, all of her attention was on Jack.
Chapter 7
When the door to his hotel room closed behind them, Amelia found herself slammed against his. His eager hands clawed at her dress and they curled around her waist, lifting her up onto the tips of her toes. A firm kissed threatened to bruise her lips, but she kissed back with equal fierceness. It was easy to fall into him again despite the years that had passed between them. Whatever had been between them was as strong as it had ever been and a wide smile broke out on Amelia's face as she enjoyed the pleasurable sensations.
Her arms came up around his neck and slid down his back, feeling the broad muscles underneath his suit. As they kissed, Jack pulled her away and they moved to the bed. He flung her down and stood in front of her. She watched with wide, hungry eyes as Jack slowly took off his jacket, set his cuff links on the bedside table, and unbuttoned his shirt, revealing an immaculate, toned physique. The taut muscles tensed as she ran her hands across his flat stomach.
