by Lauren Dane
“Now I think this falls under the we-already-discussed-this category. Plus, if I was sleeping, I’d only be seeing you in my dreams. Reality is way prettier.”
“This one’s high maintenance. I can tell.” Her elderly customer tipped her chin toward Jack.
She laughed. “Not really. Just nosy and bossy.”
The lady nodded sagely. “Handsome enough to get away with it? My Royce was that way. A rascal! But we had forty-two years and three children. Eighteen grandchildren now and a great grandbaby two months ago. The bossy ones are good to keep you warm in the winter.”
Renee grinned at Jack. “It sounds like he was a keeper.”
“Oh he was, indeed.” She laughed at some inside joke and waved as she headed away.
Renee picked up her phone again, dialing her father’s house. Jack heaved a sigh. They’d already argued about her calling her father so often so he didn’t say more than that.
She was surprised when her father finally answered. “Dad, I need to see you as soon as possible. I have to talk to you about some stuff.”
“What’s this all about, Renee? You aren’t breaking up with Galen are you? Susan told me about this other guy who’s been hanging around. Please tell me you haven’t done something monumentally stupid.”
“I’m not breaking up with Galen.”
“Susan told me what happened before I got to the shop on Friday. I saw he was mad.”
“Dad, that did not happen the way she’s portraying it. Jack was here, in the middle of a shop packed with people, in broad daylight. Susan called Galen at work and told him to get over here immediately. He wasn’t angry. Not at me anyway.”
“Oh. Well then what is it? I have errands to run today and we’re out tonight with some friends.” How she’d always hated it that he brushed her off that way.
“It’s about Rosemary Kellogg.”
Silence. Well now, apparently that was an attention getter.
She knew he hadn’t cut the connection, could still hear the harshness of his breathing. It was at that moment Susan decided to flounce into the store and, upon seeing Jack, headed in their direction in full make-a-scene mode.
“Dad? Are you still there?” She looked up at Susan. “Don’t start.”
“I won’t have this in my store! This is ridiculous. What kind of whore takes up with a new man while she’s with the old one? You’d dump a successful attorney with a bright financial future for this? Galen may not be, well, totally acceptable, but he’s the best you’ll ever get. Don’t let the hair and the teeth fool you on that one.” Susan indicated Jack with a tip of her head. “He’s not all he appears at first glance.” Susan had her hands on her hips, rings on every finger.
“You won’t have what? And this is my workspace. I lease this entire area. I look the other way when you add shelving here. But you don’t get to say who I can have here. It’s none of your business. And if you call me a whore again, I won’t take it kindly.” She let the menace be heard loud and clear.
“Are you upsetting your mother with this talk?” her father demanded over the phone. He interrupted her right as she’d been about to demand Susan explain what she meant by her comments about Jack being not what he seemed and Galen not being totally acceptable. Still, she refused to be sidetracked with her father.
“I haven’t even mentioned that to Susan. My mother, as you know, is dead. I need to talk to you. I want to hear your side of the story. I have so many questions about my mother’s family. About what happened before we came here to Boston.”
“That subject is closed. You’re not to see any of those people, Renee. They’re poison.” Her father sounded so very casual as her reality crumbled around her ears and she still did not know what the hell was happening.
“Closed?” She flipped the sign on the cart and attempted to move away from the counter. If customers came by the last thing she wanted was to have this conversation with her father with an audience. Of course Susan had to come too, talking over Renee to her father. Jack moved, intercepting Susan, getting in between them.
“You can’t close a topic like this. You told me I had no one. You told me they didn’t care. You changed our name! My entire life has been a lie! There’s no more closing of this topic. I’m on my way over right now.”
“Don’t bother, Renee. I’m not discussing it. I made decisions for you. You’re fine even if you lack ambition and have a messed-up personal life. I did my best by you and I won’t have you questioning me. Don’t bring it up again.”
He hung up and she snapped her phone shut.
“This is not over,” she said to no one in particular. “Jack, I’m closing for the day. I have to go to my father’s house.”
“We’ll take my car.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” Susan snarled, grabbing Renee’s arm. “You’ll leave it all alone. We gave up everything for you and this is how you repay me and my love for you? Another woman’s baby and I raised you. Where was she? Where was your father?”
Somewhere inside, the words unlocked so much rage Renee had to step back to try and get herself under control.
Jack vibrated with anger. He put his arms around Renee and she leaned into him, letting him give her comfort, letting him protect. “You mean when she was in the closet with welts on her legs? Or did you mean when you told her she was worthless and unlovable? I have a few ideas on just how that should be repaid. Would you like me to share them with you? I’ve given them lots of thought since I heard what your brand of parenting entailed.”
Susan’s face paled as her lips tightened. Direct hit. If Renee expected that to bring some sort of apology or acknowledgment of mistakes made, she wasn’t holding her breath. “I don’t know what Renee has told you, she has problems with truthfulness. Regardless, it’s none of your concern.” Her gaze left Jack warily and focused on Renee. “Renee, you will not bring this up to your father and dredge up years of pain and suffering you’ve caused. I forbid it.”
“Hold up right there, ma’am. Don’t. Don’t waste a single breath more on this line of discussion. I’ve seen the damage you and your special kind of care caused. You will not be doing any more. I’m here now, you get me? Galen and I are here and we know what you are. Back up.” Jack turned to keep himself between them.
Renee blinked, trying to clear the ringing in her ears. “You? You? You forbid me from asking my father why he lied to me for over twenty years? Why he changed our names and hid me and the cause of my mother’s death? I don’t think so.”
“Don’t make him choose, Renee. You and I both know you’ll lose.”
“Lose? What am I missing? It’s like I’m only hearing every fourth word because you aren’t making any sense. Choose what? Why would you characterize me asking him about my own life, my mother, as him having to choose? What part do you play in any of this anyway? What’s your interest in the silence?” She knew something. Renee was absolutely sure Susan knew something about this entire thing and was most likely as involved as her father was.
“Get out. Your lease is up.” Susan crossed her arms over her chest.
“What?” She felt caught in some indie foreign film with grown men in diapers pushing a hoop with a stick and a single yellow duckling in the far corner.
“Your lease is terminated. You have 48 hours to clear this cart out or I’ll have it taken away myself.”
Susan’s emotions slammed shut, only confirming her suspicion that Susan had known what was going on. Renee had the feeling Susan had been around longer than she remembered. Doing what? Why?
Whatever the case, Renee wasn’t going to let the woman push her around ever again. “You can’t terminate my lease with no notice. The contract says sixty days. What are you hiding, Susan? What are you hiding that you’d toss me out of my father’s life, toss my business into the street rather than even discuss?”
Ice. Her rage cooled to something else, something deeper and more dangerous. She narrowed her eyes at Susan. “You’re damned right you will. What did you have to do with my mother’s murder?”
“You’re crazy!” Susan’s face got redder and redder. Renee wondered idly if she’d explode.
“No. We both know I’m not. You’ve spent a lot of time trying to make me feel that way. Which begs the question as to why, doesn’t it? I’m not crazy at all. My aunt and sister are here. They have a vastly different story to tell than I’ve heard from you and my father.”
Just then, Galen walked in. His fury washed through the room, raising the hair on the back of Renee’s neck. He stopped, looking Renee over carefully. “We’re leaving right now.” He and Jack shared some non-verbal ordering around and Galen turned back to her, delivering a quick kiss. “This isn’t going to continue. She’s dangerous to your mental well-being. We’ll get another spot for this cart. And you,” he addressed Susan, “will get the penalty, that’s two months’ lease payments, in cash, to my office by five this evening or we’ll tie this up in court.”
“Fine. Whatever it takes. Don’t come here again, Renee. You’re not welcome. And leave your father alone. You’ve brought him enough pain.”
Something just ripped free of the moorings within her at those words.
“I’ve brought him pain? I have? You can look back at what you’ve done to me over the years and say that? What have I done to cause him pain? When have I ever done something other than try to please him and make him happy? Please, do enlighten me.”
Susan pokered up and Renee tightened her hands into fists, fists she wanted to use so badly she scared herself. “I don’t have to have this discussion with you. You’re making a scene. I suppose, given your background, you showing some class is impossible. But the rest of us have it.”
She would have knocked Susan off her feet with that last comment, but Jack put his arms around her, holding her to his body. “She’s not worth it, sweetheart. Come on, let’s go.”
“Go? Because she says so? I think not. I think it’s high time she answers for what she’s done.” Renee knew she was getting shrill, but once she’d really loosed all her anger and resentment, it burned through her veins like a drug.
Jack turned her in his arms. “Do you think she will? Right now?”
“Why are you taking her side?”
“I’m always on your side. You know that. But she’s not going to tell you anything and you’re so upset I’m worried about your health. We will get your answers, I promise. But nothing good will come of this if we stay here.”
“I deserve an answer! I’ve been living a lie! How can I just walk away now? I don’t understand what the fuck is happening and I am done with that. I need to know.”
Galen kissed her cheek. “Babe, she’s not going to answer you. Not right now. Unless you want me to unleash some cat-style justice, we can’t force her. Let’s go. We’ll regroup and approach from another angle. We’ll get your answers, believe that. You’re so upset, Jack and I hate that. Please let us help you right now.”
Susan watched them carefully, her phone in her hand. Renee had never wanted to hit anyone more than she did at that very moment. She considered what cat-style justice would look like and then reminded herself of those few times she’d seen it. While Renee did want to hurt them for lying to her, she didn’t have the right.
“This isn’t over.” She stormed out, taking a deep breath once she got to the sidewalk.
Jack followed her out. “That was close, eh, babe? You made the right choice. You wouldn’t have forgiven yourself if you’d have agreed to shifter-style justice.” He hugged her quickly. “As for the cart, we can store it in my friend’s garage. He’s got a boat but it’s still on the water, so he’s got the space. I’ll get it moved later today.”
Galen took his time coming back outside. Amped up on adrenaline and anger, Renee impatiently began to walk home.
“Hey, wait up,” Galen called out, jogging up the block toward her and Jack. “I was just underlining how much she needed to deal with your money and this whole situation.”
“I’m sure that worked out well,” she grumbled as she kept walking.
“She’s hiding something. A lot of somethings.” Galen glared back over his shoulder.
“No kidding.”
“Left, sweetheart, left,” Jack called after her as she turned right, heading toward the T stop to get to her father’s house.
“I know how to get home. I’m not going home.”
“Babe, think about this. Let’s go back to the house and work through some contingencies.” Galen sent her his most charming smile and she wanted to sock him for being so effective at it.
“Let’s not. I thought you had work to do? You’re going to be fired if you keep leaving to save me from myself.”
“Stop walking for a minute. Let’s drive over at least. It’s safer and we can leave whenever we want.” Galen put a hand on her arm. “I’m not going to get fired. I’m technically on vacation anyway. What else would I be doing but be here with you?”
“Don’t you wonder that? Seriously.” She shook off his hand. “I’m doing this. He’s been hiding this from me for twenty years, Galen! I need to know why.”
“Fuck you, Renee.” Galen’s face hardened. “No, I never wonder that except for those panic moments when you’re sick or in danger and I realize how fragile you are and how I could lose you and then what? What would my life be without you is not a passing thought, it’s my worst nightmare. So don’t cheapen that with this bullshit rhetoric. It’s insulting to me and what we have.”
She inclined her head in shifter fashion, submitting to his rank as an apology. She had been wrong and she said so.
He rolled his eyes and kissed her briefly, only to start up again about going home.
The train approached and she hustled to catch it. Jack and Galen had to move their pretty little shifter asses to keep up.
“Don’t.” She gave them both the evil eye as they surrounded her. Jack hung the phone up.
“Just making arrangements to go down to the shop to meet some friends later. We’ll move the cart this afternoon.” Jack took her hand. “I’m sorry about that scene. She’s out of line.”
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need to hold it together until after I’ve confronted my father.”
They sat, Renee in between them. Galen made work phone calls, vacation, yeah right. Still, he held one of her hands, his thumb playing over her wedding rings. Jack, his arm around her shoulders, her body tucked into his side, was warm and real. The scenery out the window held enough of her attention she didn’t jump out of her skin. Everything was upside down. But it made a sort of sense too. She’d always felt like there was something she’d forgotten, something she’d missed.
“She’ll have called him already.” Susan wouldn’t have waited a minute after they left the shop.
“Most likely, yes. Renee, you need to be prepared for this.” Galen said it like she hadn’t ever considered the price. She had, over and over with every possible outcome, and still she knew it would be horrible. And still, she had to do it.
Renee stood, heading for the doors as they stopped. Funny, her dad and Susan had moved to a small house after Renee had moved out on her own for college. Not enough room for her to stay over. She’d had dinner there maybe three times over the last few years.
Those moments she remembered as she cowered in that closet weren’t common. Susan hadn’t beaten her every day. She never felt abused as a child. Lonely, yes. Different. There were times she felt like she was in the wrong house, the wrong body. Renee had just chalked that up to her own awkwardness. Despite her father’s general compo
sed demeanor, she’d never felt he didn’t love her. Which is why this whole thing was so confusing.
She kept walking. Three blocks, three blocks over and a right, two more blocks and there they were. Susan’s car was out front, but a brief touch to the hood told her it hadn’t been that long since she’d arrived.
“Why don’t you let me go to the door?” Galen asked.
“No.”
She went up the front walk, stopping on the porch to push the bell.
Her father opened the door, looking like a stranger. It hit her, even though she’d been expecting something unpleasant. He blocked her entrance with his body. “Why are you here, Renee? I told you I wasn’t going to discuss this.”
“I’m here to talk to you. You’re my father. You can’t just refuse to explain why you changed my name and hid me from my mother’s relatives for twenty years! What am I supposed to do with that? I’m sure you had your reasons. I’m not even mad, I’m just confused. I want to hear your side of the story so I can understand. These people want a relationship with me; if there’s something bad about them, don’t you think you should share it?”
“I don’t owe you any explanations. I fed and clothed you. I did my job, Renee, and I think it’s ungrateful of you to barge into my house, uninvited, to demand anything.”
“I’m ungrateful? I appreciate the roof and the food, thank you. I’ve thanked you many, many times over my life. I haven’t done anything wrong. What is going on? Why are you acting this way?”
He looked at her, his eyes flat. Her confusion bled into humiliation. He shamed her and that brought her back to her purpose as she did her best to slam the door on the wave of pain he’d caused. But he wasn’t done. “You live your life like everyone owes you things. It holds you back. Look at you. Thirty years old, not married, no kids. You live with some guy and I hear you’ve got another one hanging around. Do something with your life, Renee. You’re wasting it looking to blame other people for your situation.”
Galen stepped up, towering over her dad. “That is more than enough.” He turned to Renee. “Let’s go. He’s not going to tell you anything and all he’s doing is upsetting you.”
