by Kes Gray
The trouble with Stargazer telescopes is stars only come out at night, not the middle of the afternoon, especially on really hot days in the summer. So it wasn’t really the best time to gaze through a Stargazer telescope, unless we wanted to just gaze at normal sky. Which we didn’t.
So we opened Gabby’s 3D jigsaw instead.
The trouble with 3D jigsaws is they are really hard to do. Especially 1000-piece 3D jigsaws. Gabby’s 1000-piece 3D jigsaw was meant to look like the Houses of Parliament but when we took the lid off the box it was just a load of jigsaw pieces in a bag. Which meant we had to make it ourselves! And read the rules on how to make it!!
So we decided to grow some bonsai trees instead.
The trouble with growing bonsai trees is before they’ve actually grown into bonsai trees they just look like seeds. Plus, once you’ve planted the seeds in their flowerpots they don’t even look like seeds. They just look like earth, because that’s what the instructions tell you to cover them with.
Gabby said that once we’d watered them the bonsai trees would probably start to grow. But they didn’t. Even when we tried watering them with lemonade they didn’t grow.
So we tried doing some juggling instead.
The trouble with juggling is you really need juggling balls that juggle by themselves, otherwise the balls keep falling on the floor.
When we looked at the instructions in the juggling ball box, juggling looked really easy, because in the picture the juggling balls were totally still in mid-air. Plus the boy in the picture was really smiling. But the juggling balls didn’t stay totally still in mid-air when Gabby and me tried juggling with them. Our juggling balls went all over the place!
So we decided to try out her science kit instead.
The trouble with science kits is they are very scientific. In fact they are so scientific even the instructions come with instructions!
“Do you think your mum and dad would show us what to do or will we have to read all of the instructions before we start experimenting?” I asked.
“They’re in the kitchen getting everything ready for my birthday tea,” said Gabby. “I don’t think they’ll have time to do experiments at the moment.”
“What if we make up our own experiments?” I said.
“We might blow the house up,” said Gabby.
“Let’s straighten our hair then,” I said.
The trouble with straightening our hair is our hair was already straight. So that didn’t take long to do at all. Even with not-very-hot hair straighteners.
Which only left the bath bomb.
The trouble with bath bombs is they are not very exciting unless you are actually in the bath with them.
If you’re not in the actual bath with the actual bath bomb you won’t be in the water when the water changes colour. Plus you won’t be able to feel the bubbles fizzing around your toes.
“How dirty are you feeling?” I asked.
“Not very,” said Gabby. “I had a shower this morning. How about you?”
“Not very,” I said, “plus I didn’t bring a towel.”
“MY BIKE!” said Gabby. “I FORGOT TO SHOW YOU MY NEW BIKE!”
Can you believe it? Out of ALL of Gabby’s new birthday presents, she had completely forgotten to show me the biggest and most expensive present she’d been given! What a dipsy brain!
“Race you to the garage!” she said, jumping off the bed and charging down the stairs. “Last one to my garage is a Cheese String!”
CHAPTER 5
“You’re a Cheese String!” laughed Gabby, opening the garage doors from inside the actual garage.
“You’re a cheater!” I frowned, watching the garage doors open from outside the actual garage.
“I took a shortcut through the kitchen!” Gabby giggled.
It was true! Gabby was so fast running down the stairs, I didn’t see her go through the kitchen!
I thought she’d gone down the hallway and out through the front door.
Imagine having an actual door to your actual garage in your actual kitchen! Not an actual garage door that lifts up or anything but a normal actual kitchen door that gets you into the garage much quicker! I told you Gabby’s new house was posh.
“My mum says my nana and grandad will be here really soon,” said Gabby. “As soon as they arrive we’ll be sitting down for my birthday tea!”
“SHOW ME YOUR BIKE THEN! SHOW ME YOUR BIKE!” I said, ducking under the garage door for a look.
“There it is,” she said, pointing to the far wall.
“It looks quite big,” I said.
“It is quite big,” said Gabby. “My dad chose it. He says we can go forest trekking on it.”
“What, like the forest in Potts Wood?” I asked.
“I guess so,” she said.
“Where’s the basket?” I asked.
“It hasn’t got a basket,” she said.
“Where’s the bell?”
“It hasn’t got a bell,” she said.
“Where are the tassles on the handlebars?” I asked.
“It doesn’t have tassles on the handlebars,” she said.
“Why are the tyres so big?” I asked.
“They’re mountain bike tyres,” she said.
“Why are the metal bits so fat?” I asked.
“That’s what mountain bikes have,” said Gabby. “Big tyres and fat metal.”
“What sort of colour is that?” I asked.
“It’s called ‘Moss’,” she said.
“What do these do?” I asked, pointing to the middle of the back wheel.
“They’re the gears,” said Gabby.
“What do gears do?” I asked.
“They help you get up mountains,” she said.
“Where’s the nearest mountain to here?” I asked.
“I don’t really know,” she said.
“Does it do anything else?” I asked.
“I don’t think so,” she said.
Gabby’s new bike was amazing. If I got a new bike like that for my birthday I would never forget to tell or show anyone. Especially Jack Beechwhistle.
“Can I have a go?” I asked.
“Of course you can,” smiled Gabby. “Have as many goes as you like! If you can get on it.”
The trouble with getting on Gabby’s new bike is the saddle came up to my shoulders, plus when I tried to lift my leg over the metal bit my purple shorts started to split.
“I’ll have a go when I’m a bit older,” I told her.
“Good idea.” Gabby nodded.
CHAPTER 6
Not having a go on Gabby’s new bike was a really good idea actually, because just as I was leaning it back against the wall, her nana and grandad turned up in their car.
“They’re here!” Gabby squealed, running down the driveway to give her nana and grandad a big hug.
“Daisy, come and meet my nana and grandad!” she said, waving me over to join them.
As soon as I’d got my necklace straight, I went to say hello.
“Daisy, Daisy, Daisy!” said her nana. “We’ve heard so much about you!”
“Hello,” I gulped, forgetting all about my necklace and staring straight at Gabby’s nana’s hair.
“This is my Nana Pru,” said Gabby, “and this is my Grandad Hugh.”
“Hello Daisy,” said Grandad Hugh. “I hope you haven’t eaten all the birthday tea!”
The trouble with being asked if you’ve eaten all the birthday tea is, I couldn’t really think what to say back. Even though I hadn’t even seen the birthday tea. Because I was still looking at Gabby’s nana’s hair. And looking and looking and looking.
Luckily Gabby answered for me.
“Of course we haven’t eaten all the birthday tea, you sillies!” she laughed. “We’ve been waiting for you to arrive first!”
Gabby’s nana and grandad took some bags out of their car and then followed our shortcut through the garage back to the kitchen. Which was a bit disappointing aga
in actually, because now I’d missed out on two chances to ring the doorbell.
“I’m worn out!” said Gabby’s mum, undoing her apron and wiping her forehead with her arm. No wonder she was worn out! There were empty party food packets everywhere!
“Why has your nana got blue hair?” I whispered to Gabby, while the grown-ups were hugging and kissing.
“She always has blue hair,” Gabby whispered back. “She says it stops her looking like a fuddy-duddy.”
“What’s a fuddy-duddy?” I whispered, as we followed all the grown-ups through to the dining room.
“It’s an old person who acts like an old person,” Gabby whispered back.
When we got into Gabby’s dining room, there was much more than blue hair to look at. There was party food and party cakes and party plates and party poppers and party balloons and party cups and party drinks and pretty much party everything, including a whopping great rainbow birthday cake with hundreds of candles all over it! (Gabby loves blowing out candles!)
“Let the birthday celebrations begin!” said Nana Pru, waving her hands like an octopus and then picking up a blue party napkin. “Hip hip hooray for Gabriella’s special day!”
“Pru is short for Prudence,” whispered Gabby, as we sat down at the table. “Just like Gabby is short for Gabriella.”
“I’ve never heard of anybody being called Prudence before,” I whispered back. “What’s Hugh short for?”
“It isn’t!” giggled Gabby, passing me the sausages on sticks.
“How does your nana make her hair go blue?” I whispered.
“Her hairdresser does it for her,” whispered Gabby, passing me the mini pork pies.
“Does she have a blue hair brush?” I whispered.
“I don’t know,” whispered Gabby, passing me the pizza bites. “I’ve never seen her brush her hair.”
“She wears lots of blue jewellery, doesn’t she?” I whispered.
“She loves blue jewellery,” whispered Gabby, passing me the sausage rolls. “When she dies she’s going to give it all to me.”
“When is she going to die?” I whispered.
“Not for ages, I reckon,” whispered Gabby, topping up my glass with orange squash.
“Why is she wearing two watches?” I whispered.
“In case one of them stops ticking,” whispered Gabby, passing me the bowl of crisps.
“Why are some of her fingernails light blue and other ones dark blue?” I whispered.
“They match her hair in different kinds of ways,” whispered Gabby, passing me the chicken drumsticks.
Gabby’s nana’s fingernails didn’t just match her hair. They matched her blue dress, her blue shoes, her blue earrings, her blue handbag, her blue necklaces, her blue bracelets, her blue watch straps, her blue eyes and her blue glasses too.
And her blue party serviette.
She was different to any type of nana I’d ever seen before.
She was really good at talking, too.
“Are you having a lovely birthday, Gabriella?” she asked.
“How are you getting on at school, Gabriella?”
“Do you and Daisy sit next to each other in class, Gabriella?”
“Do you like pop music, Gabriella?”
“Do you like dancing, Gabriella? Your Grandad Hugh and I were wonderful dancers, Gabriella.”
“Did you get all the presents you asked for, Gabriella?”
“Grandad and I are going to give you our special present after tea, Gabriella!”
“Have I told you about my childhood, Gabriella?”
It wasn’t until it was time to close the curtains and light the candles on Gabby’s cake that anyone else really got a chance to say anything much at all. Even then it was only sixteen really loud words …
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GABRIELLA (I said “Gabby”) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
As soon as Gabby had blown out her candles, everyone cheered and clapped really loudly. Grandad Hugh even asked Gabby to do a speech! But she was too shy.
Well at first she was, but then she changed her mind.
“Ahem,” said Gabby, standing up from her chair and going a bit red. “I’d just like to say thank you for coming to my party and a specially really big thank you to Daisy for being my guest of honour!”
Which meant it was my turn to go a bit red now because then everyone started clapping me as well!
“It’s solid actual silver,” was the only thing I could think of to say.
“Oh and thank you for my presents!” said Gabby, standing up as soon as she had sat down because she nearly forgot to mention her presents at all!
“PRESENTS!” said Nana Pru, standing up too and waving her hands like ten octopuses this time.
“IT’S PRESSIE TIME, IT’S PRESSIE TIME! YOU’RE GOING TO ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE SPECIAL PRESENTS YOUR GRANDAD HUGH AND I HAVE BOUGHT YOU, GABRIELLA! JUST WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT NANA AND GRANDAD HAVE BOUGHT YOU!”
CHAPTER 7
The trouble with special presents is sometimes they don’t look special at all. Especially if the special present is a toy unicorn.
Double especially if the special present turns out to be (gulp) TWO TOY UNICORNS!
When Gabby unwrapped the paper from her nana’s special present I think she had a heart attack. She couldn’t move her lips. Or her feet or her arms. Her eyeballs definitely had a heart attack.
“The unicorn with the blue hair can remind you of me, Gabriella!” said Nana Pru. “And the unicorn with the silver hair can remind you of Grandad Hugh! See! Blue hair, silver hair! Aren’t they wonderful, Gabriella? Aren’t they magical? When I saw them I just had to buy them!”
The trouble with your eyeballs having a heart attack is you need your eyeballs to look at someone when they are talking to you. All Gabby could look at was the unicorns.
Luckily her lips eventually managed to move.
“Thank you, they’re lovely,” she said, putting the unicorns on the table right in front of me. “Aren’t they, Daisy?!”
As soon as Gabby said “Aren’t they Daisy,” my eyeballs had a heart attack too. Which meant the more I looked the more my lips wouldn’t move either.
Both of the unicorns were really unicorny. The one with blue hair had a white fluffy body and the one with the silver hair had a blue fluffy body. Both of them had glittery horns and long stripy tails.
“Aren’t they, Daisy?” said Gabby again, tapping my chair with her toe.
“Yes,” I said, finally getting my lips to move. “They’re unicorns,” I said. “With horns,” I said. “Shall we go and play with them in your bedroom?”
How I managed to think of saying the last bit I said I really do not know, but it was a stroke of absolute genius!
Gabby thought so too!!
“Yes, let’s!” she said, looking at me with “really well done” eyes!
“Don’t you want a piece of birthday cake first?” asked her mum, pulling off the candles, picking up a knife and getting ready to cut the first slice.
“We’re a bit full,” said Gabby. “Aren’t we, Daisy? Do you mind if we have a piece a bit later?”
Gabby’s mum didn’t mind at all. She just cut four slices for the grown-ups instead.
“Don’t forget your wonderful unicorns, Gabriella!” laughed Nana Pru, waving her slice of birthday cake at us as we headed straight for the door.
Gabby and I turned around and gulped. The unicorns were still on the table. It was so embarrassing; far too embarrassing for either of us to think of anything to say at all.
“Remember,” said Nana Pru, “I’m the one with the blue hair, Gabriella, and the one with the silver hair is Grandad Hugh!”
Gabby’s lips still couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just did a sort of laugh instead. More of a snort actually. Then she went back to the table, picked up the unicorns and followed me up the stairs.
As soon as we got into her bedroom we collapsed on to her bed.
“UNICORNS!” she spluttered. “Can you believe it! My nana has bought me unicorns!”
“What are you going to do with them?” I asked.
“Give them to a charity shop,” said Gabby.
“What if the charity shop doesn’t want them?” I asked.
“Then I’ll hide them somewhere,” said Gabby.
“Did you like it when I said we should go and play with them upstairs!” I chuckled.
“I loved it!” said Gabby. “I thought we were going to be stuck at the table with two unicorns for the rest of my entire party!”
“We’re not going to play with them though, are we?” I frowned.
“Definitely not!” said Gabby, stuffing the unicorns under her bed. “We can play with all my other birthday presents instead.”
Except we couldn’t. Because we had already tried playing with Gabby’s other birthday presents before Nana Pru and Grandad Hugh had arrived.
“We could play with that balloon,” I said, lying on my back and peering up at the ceiling. “What’s it doing up here in your bedroom?”
“I nabbed it from the dining room!” smiled Gabby. “When Dad was blowing them up.”
“Why that one?” I asked.
“It had the longest string,” said Gabby, reaching up with her fingers to see how near they could stretch.
“I bet your Nana Pru’s fingernails could reach that balloon,” I said, having a go myself. “Your nana’s fingernails are really long.”
“They’re not real fingernails,” said Gabby. “My mum calls them falsies.”
“What are falsies?” I asked, putting a pillow under my shoulders to get me a bit closer to the balloon.
“Fingernails that are false,” said Gabby, putting another pillow PLUS ME AND MY PILLOW under her shoulders to see how close she could get.
