He twisted his lips into a smirk. “No one would believe you anyhow.”
“Fine with me if you want to take that chance.”
He kicked the ground again. “OK. You get the A. Slut!”
He walked toward the store to pay for his gas and I sped away as fast as I could. When I could no longer see the store in my rear-view mirror, I took a huge deep breath. I couldn’t believe what I had just pulled off. Somehow I was believable. Even if Smith wouldn’t have agreed to the A, I still wouldn’t have told anyone what he had done because of Mike. But at least now I didn’t have to worry about calc any more. I got an A.
Chapter 4
Mike
I hate funerals but Mom shamed me into going. She reminded me, as if I needed to be reminded, that if it hadn’t been for Coach Smith, I wouldn’t have gotten a full ride to Madison. And, if I hadn’t gotten into Madison, I wouldn’t have met Lisa my senior year. And If I wouldn’t have met Lisa my senior year, I wouldn’t have Jack. And Jack is the best thing in my life. He’s the only good thing that ever came out of my marriage to Lisa.
When Jeremy called and told me Coach dropped over dead while mowing the lawn, I about had a heart attack. Turned out, that’s exactly what happened to Coach. His wife was looking out the kitchen window when she saw him fall to the ground. By the time she reached him, he was dead. Damn. When your time’s up, it’s up. No negotiating. No pleading. Nothing. You’re dead. End of story.
Guess you never know for sure how your life’s going to turn out. I thought I was going to marry my high school sweetheart, Gina McKenzie. God, I loved that girl. And I thought she loved me. Sometimes when Jack’s over at Lisa’s, I dig out the old yearbook and read what she wrote in it.
Mike,
To the love of my life forever and always. Thank you for loving me and for always being there for me. When we’re old and gray, we can get out our yearbooks and read what we wrote to each other. That’ll be fun. Remember, you said you’d love me even when I’m old and wrinkled and have white hair and false teeth.
Love you always, Gina
Yep. That was the plan. We’d marry and grow old together. After Gina dumped me, I swore off girls. Thought I’d never get married. The breakup happened the summer before our freshman year in college. I’m still not sure I know what happened.
****
1982
One day we were great and the next day we weren’t. I tried talking to Gina about it, but the more I tried, the more distant she became. The night of the prom was the beginning of the end. We went to the after party at Jeremy’s house and everything seemed great until we went to the woods to make out.
It was like Gina didn’t want me to touch her. I tried doing everything she liked, but she kept pushing my hand away or turning her head. When I tried to slip off her bikini underwear, she pulled them back up. When I unhooked her bra, she seemed like she was pissed about it. She definitely wasn’t the Gina I knew – and loved. Something had happened, but damn if I knew what? And Gina sure as hell wasn’t talking about it. She had been acting this way for weeks.
“Gina, baby, what’s wrong?” I asked, rubbing my thumb over her full lips. “It’s been so long since we made love. I think I’m going to explode I want you so bad. Is it me? Don’t I turn you on anymore?”
Gina bit her lower lip. “It’s not you.”
“Well, damn, Gina, I’m the only one here so it’s tough not to think it’s me. There was a time when kisses down your neck and chest would have had you clawing the shirt off my back. Now you’re colder than the deep freezer at work. What the hell am I supposed to think?”
Gina sat perfectly still on the sleeping blanket, wringing her hands, and staring straight ahead. She didn’t want to look at me. She was bathed in soft moonlight and I swear she looked like an angel. It killed me not to be able to touch her in the way I wanted to.
“I just need time.”
“Time for what? You’ve been saying that for weeks, and I’ve given you weeks. But you just become more and more distant. It’s like I’m losing you and I don’t know what to do to stop it. At first I thought that whatever was going on, you’d tell me about it eventually. You always do. Well, did. Anyway, you haven’t and I know it’s still on your mind.”
“I’m sorry, Mike. I’m trying.”
She turned and looked at me and I searched her glassy eyes, looking for something I knew I wasn’t going to find.
“That’s just it,” I said. “You used to not have to try. It just happened. We were great together.”
I’m not sure why it didn’t hit me before, but I thought maybe Gina was pregnant. She was on the pill, but still.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” I asked.
Gina shook her head. “Jesus, no. It’s not that.”
I let out a heavy sigh.
“I wish it were that,” she whispered.
“What you’d say?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“You said you wish you were pregnant. I heard you,” I told her.
“Well, if you heard me then why’d you asked what I said?”
“Christ, Gina. I’m not ready to be a dad. But if that would be better than whatever’s going on, whatever’s going on must be pretty damn bad.”
Gina didn’t say anything, but I could tell by the way her body stiffened that she was uncomfortable.
“You’re not gay, are you?”
She jabbed her elbow into my side.
“Just checking cause, you know, you don’t seem to want me. Or this.”
I took her hand and placed in on my crotch and you would have thought that I had cut off her arm.
Gina jumped up. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I stood up and tried to hug her but she turned away. “Gina, baby. I’m Sorry. I didn’t mean.”
“You didn’t mean? You didn’t mean? You think I’m a whore, don’t you? Don’t you? A whore. A lousy whore that’s too tight…”
And she collapsed on the sleeping bag and rolled up in a ball and sobbed so loud I thought for sure the whole state could hear her. I laid beside her and gently put my arm around her, testing first to see if she would allow it. When it seemed like she was OK with it, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her tight against my chest so that my heart beat against her back.
“Hush, baby, hush,” I whispered. “Nothing’s ever that bad that we can’t talk about it.” I kissed the top of her head and squeezed her gently. “Oh, baby, please. Please tell me what’s going on inside that gorgeous red head of yours.”
Gina sniffed and turned so our heads were facing each other on the blanket. The moonlight provided enough glow that I could see her blotchy red face. I brushed her hair away from her eyes.
She bit her lip. “I’m in the wilderness right now and I need to find my way out. “
“Oh, baby. What the hell are you talking about? We’re in the woods. Our woods. Our make-out, happy place woods. This isn’t a wilderness.”
Gina shook her head. “I didn’t mean it literally, Mike. It means that I’m having a tough time with something that I can’t talk about. It’s my journey and you can’t come with me or help me. I need to find the way on my own. But please believe me when I say it’s not your fault, it’s not anything you did. I love you. I will always love you.”
****
I was having a terrific baseball season. I had never pitched better, and college recruiters came to the games. Coach Smith was a big help. Some of the guys teased me about being his golden boy. It was true, he seemed to be paying more attention to me this year, but I wasn’t about to complain. Coach was helping me get into Dad’s Alma mater. And, with dad’s Lou Gehrig’s diagnosis, getting into Dad’s alma mater was even more important to me. I wanted to make Dad proud. I was his only son, and he always talked about me going to his school. I didn’t want to disappoint him.
As great as baseball was, my relationship with Gina sucked. Big time. She never missed a game and when we went
out, I always waited for her to make the first move. We never got past second base, and when you’re used to hugging home, second base just doesn’t cut it.
It wasn’t so much that we didn’t have sex, although I admit I missed the sex; it was that we didn’t really talk anymore. I missed the closeness we once shared. I missed knowing everything there was to know about Gina. I missed knowing what she was thinking every minute of every day. I missed her.
Sometimes, I’d catch her staring at a spot in the distance and I’d know that her mind was in another place. I wanted the old Gina back and became frustrated that no matter what I tried, she didn’t come back. It was like having the best present in the world and watching it disintegrate a little each day. Piece-by-piece; day-by-day; week-by-week.
It was no excuse, but one night Gina stayed home from a party at Jeremy’s house. She was sick. I got pretty wasted and started making out with this chic, Patty Monroe. I knew Patty always had the hots for me. It was one of those things you can just sort of tell.
Patty’s boobs always looked like they were about to pop out of her tight shirts. Her cleavage was as steep as the Grand Canyon, and she leaned over my desk every chance she got in math class.
I was sitting alone on the wooden bench by Jeremy’s pool when Patty strutted out, wearing this too tight purple sundress that hugged her ass. She sat down beside me, tossing her long blonde hair back and licking her lips like those girls did in the porn movies Jeremy and I watched the other week. He found them in his dad’s secret stash. I had too much to drink and was horny as hell and one thing led to another. We ended up in Jeremy’s bedroom and things got out of hand. Fast. So fast that before I knew it Patty and I were half naked rolling on the floor getting carpet burns.
There was a knock at the door and before I could answer, Gina’s best friend, Sue, had barged into the room and flicked on the lights. “Michael Parker, get your ass out of here, now!”
Sue pointed at Patty. “And you, you cheap bitch. If I ever see you so much as look at Mike, I’ll flatten your tits and twist that head of yours into a pretzel.”
Patty got dressed faster than a pit crew changes tires.
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” I said.
“Good. I hope you get real sick,” Sue said. “Serves you right. Cheating on my best friend like that. What the fuck were you thinking?”
Sue grabbed the black trashcan by the desk and sat it in front of me.
Blech! I coughed. Blech! “God my head is spinning. I feel so dizzy.” Blech!”
“And I hope you feel even worse tomorrow. Now get dressed. I’m taking you home.”
****
I had one hell of a hangover the next day, and I really wasn’t up for listening to Sue when she called to ream me out – again. Her mouth ran like a river the night before during our drive home from Jeremy’s. And today, it still ran like a river but was accented with ice-cold white caps that tossed me about like I was a toy.
“And another thing, Mike. If you ever, and I mean ever, so much as look at another girl, I will kick you in the cock so hard you’ll never be able to use it. Do you hear me?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I screwed up. I don’t know what got into me. You know that’s never happened before, Sue.”
“And it better not ever happen again. I’m not going to tell Gina. I don’t want to hurt her and I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. I think the only people who saw you walk into the room were Jeremy and I. So I’m cutting you a big break. Don’t disappoint me, Mike. No one screws with my best friend. Got that?”
****
“So how was the party?” Gina asked when I called later in the day.
“OK. Would have been better with you.”
“That’s what Sue said.”
I coughed. My heart thumped. “What else did Sue say?”
“Nothing really. Said it was sort of boring. That I didn’t miss anything.”
I sighed. “Yeah. Sue’s right. It wasn’t one of Jeremy’s better parties.”
“Are you feeling better?” I asked.
“Yeah. Not one-hundred percent but a ton better than yesterday.”
“Cool. Then we’re on for tonight?” I asked.
“Yeah. Sue and Ron will meet us at the mall.”
I sighed. “The mall? Really? I don’t feel like shopping.”
“We’re not. I promise. Sue just wants to show me this bathing suit she’s thinking about buying for senior week. Then we’ll go to the movies like we had planned.”
****
On the way to the mall, we stopped to get a burger. I was starving. I didn’t have time after work to eat if I wanted to shower before I picked up Gina. Gina wasn’t hungry, which was unusual. When we first started dating, she’d never order anything. I think she worried about me having enough money. It was kind of expensive. But the more we got to know one another, the more comfortable she became about eating in front of me. And man, can she eat. Sometimes more than me. I pay sometimes, and she pays sometimes. It depends on who has more money at the time. And if neither of us has money, which is often, we crash at Gina’ s house and watch movies.
My luck Patty Monroe was the cashier. As soon as we walked up to the counter Patty threw her hair back and stuck out her chest. I couldn’t look at her. I was so disgusted with myself. My heart beat like Led Zeppelin’s John Bonham on the drums. I ordered the food while keeping my eyes on the menu boards overhead. Even when I went to pay for it, I placed the money on the counter without ever looking up at Patty.
“What was that all about?”Gina asked when we sat down.
“What?”
“You. You were acting weird. Like you didn’t want to talk to Patty. I thought you were friends.”
I coughed. “Friends? What made you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Gina said. “I know her parents and your parents are friends, so I figured you were friends.”
“I’m not friends with Patty Monroe.”
“Well, maybe she wants to be friends,” Gina said.
I cleared my thread. “Maybe. I don’t really know. Enough about Patty; I’d much rather talk about you.”
I dipped a couple of fries in ketchup and popped them in my mouth. “Sure you don’t want a fry?”
“Too greasy,” Gina said. “I don’t want to eat anything that’ll upset my stomach. I don’t want another night like last night.”
Neither did I.
****
The food court was packed with high school kids, and the noise made my ears thump.
I leaned in to speak to Gina so she would be able to hear me. “See Sue anywhere?”
“We always sit across from the Chinese place,” Gina said.
I followed Gina toward the opposite end of the food court.
“She’s over there,” Gina pointed. “Eating an egg roll.”
We weaved through the crowd, having to shove one or two who were rude and refused to get out of the way. Sue didn’t see us until we were practically on top of her table.
“It’s about time you guys got here,” Sue said. Sue flashed me a half smile and hugged Gina. They have been best friends since kindergarten. And if I ever doubted Sue’s loyalty to Gina, last night and today took care of that.
“You guys want to wait here while I show Gina the suit?” Sue asked.
“Great idea,” Ron said. “Although I wouldn’t mind seeing you model it.”
Sue hit Ron’s arm playfully. “You’ll see it – eventually.” She winked her eyebrows. “Be back in a jiff.”
Ron and I talked baseball while the girls shopped. Even though he didn’t play for his school team, he liked watching games. His favorite team was the Red Sox and I loved the Yankees.
We went from talking baseball to talking about senior week at the beach.
“Are you going?” he asked.
“I plan on it. Been trying to save money. How about you?”
Ron shook his head. “Can’t. Cost too much, and I gotta start work right
after school’s out to make some money for college. But can you do me a favor?”
“Sure.”
“Keep an eye on Sue at the beach. I don’t want any guys hitting on her, trying to pick her up. Not that I think she would go with them, but just don’t want to give them a chance, you know? She can get a little loose when she drinks.”
“No problem. I’ll look out for her,” I said. But I knew he didn’t have anything to worry about. Sue was not only a faithful friend, but also a faithful girlfriend. Of that, I was certain.
****
When Gina and Sue returned, Sue held up a plastic shopping bag about the size of a sandwich bag. “Got it,” she said.
“You got an entire swimsuit inside that bag?” I asked.
Sue winked at Ron. “Doesn’t need to cover much.”
Ron snatched the bag and peeked inside. “You can model it for me later. I have to approve, you know.”
Sue grabbed the bag back. “Yeah, right.”
“It can’t be too sexy,” Ron said. “Don’t want other guys eyeing up what’s mine.”
“You have nothing to worry about,” said Sue, kissing Ron on the cheek. “I would never cheat on you.”
I squirmed in my seat. I knew Sue’s comment was directed at me. She was never going to let me forget what a creep I had been. And I would never forget how she saved my ass and prevented me from making one of the biggest mistakes of my life.
There was an awkward pause before I suggested we head to the movie theater across from the mall. I was looking forward to the movie. Normally I’m not a big fan of romantic comedies, but Gina likes them, and I was hoping that the movie might get her in the mood to make out afterward.
Chapter 5
Gina & Mike (The Yearbook Series Book 1) Page 3
