He’ll tell you his secrets. I startled, because that wasn’t Mom’s voice, but it definitely belonged to a woman. Holy crap, was that my wolf? I shook my head, bringing myself back to my current reality. I kind of wanted to do a victory dance, that she was here, but in case I was wrong, I kept it to myself.
Not shifting had me doubting everything.
“I’m not interested in forever.” It felt like a lie, it sounded like a lie, and from the synchronized eye roll performance courtesy of my parents, they also thought it was complete bullshit. “I’m just here for the season, helping Mom out with the show, since she won’t let me sign up to be a Werewife.”
“Maybe I should,” she groaned. “Then I’d have an excuse to keep a camera crew with you.”
**
“You’ve got to be freezing.” Even though I was too stubborn to admit Mom might be right about it being crazy to run on an Alaska January morning, I tried to dress appropriately. Multiple thin layers since I’d eventually warm up and want to shed a few of them, and a hat. Sunglasses weren’t required because Matteo would be due at practice long before the sun came up.
But my football playing wolf met me in shorts and a T-shirt. Not that I minded the way the shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and accentuated his narrow waist. His thighs were big and powerful and his ass round and firm.
Maybe it wasn’t so cold after all.
“I have to be prepared for all conditions. I can’t let the elements slow me down,” he said as he raised his hands over his head, lacing his fingers together, and stretched.
I swallowed hard. The wolf had moves. With his hands behind his head, his muscles strained against his shirt, and the outline of his cock was visible against his shorts. Damn. I forced myself to meet his gaze. “On that football field, or as a wolf?”
Those silver eyes glittered in the low light of the morning. Cold wouldn’t bother him. This man was made of ice. But little by little, I’d get him to melt.
“Both.” His gaze raked over me, and I was almost ready to shed a layer before hitting the trail. “When was the last time you ran?”
“In California. When I got stressed out, I liked to drive over to Santa Monica and run on the beach.” Which was why I wasn’t too intimidated by running in the snow.
“I’d never seen the ocean until I came to Holiday Falls,” he said softly. Something flickered in his eyes, and I wasn’t sure if he meant for me to see it. Vulnerability. It wasn’t the first time he’d considered how much had been stolen from him when the Montana pack attacked his, but it was the first time I’d been hit in the face with it. How different we really were. I’d wanted for nothing in my life.
“Substitute the chunks of ice for palm trees, and the six hours of sunshine for warm weather, and it’s almost interchangeable.” I laughed, trying to lighten the moment. “Seriously, it’s amazing. I’d never felt so free as I did when I was there. Like anything was possible. Maybe we can take a trip when you’re done with the season.”
I was being presumptuous. This man hadn’t even touched me yet, and while he seemed interested, he was holding back.
“I’d be into that.” His gaze was fixed on the trail ahead of us. “But if you liked California so much, why are you here?”
My breath clouded my vision when I sighed. “I had plenty of friends, a schedule full of classes I was excited about, and I was going on auditions, trying to get an agent. But without my sister there, it felt empty. Like something had been ripped away from me.” I bounced a little so the cold didn’t have a chance to settle in my bones, but that shiver wasn’t going away any time soon. “I thought it meant I was about to shift. And I was terrified of doing it alone. My friends at school...they know my dad’s a wolf, but none of them would know what to do if I went furry. When it happened to Jasmine, I could barely help her. Coming here seemed safe.”
Matteo nodded. “You don’t strike me as someone who likes playing it safe.”
“I hate it.” Along with all these fears that had taken up residence in the deep dark expanse of that emptiness. “Sometimes I wonder if when Jasmine shifted, she took my wolf with her.”
“No.” He shook his head. “She’s inside you.”
“How come you’re the only one who can see it?”
“Maybe I’m the only one who needs to.” His breath quickened, and I’d swear it sounded like a growl. “We should start running. The path is packed pretty tight in most places. Good footing. Some parts get narrow. Let me lead in those.”
“Are you expecting trouble?”
“No, but I know better than not to be prepared for it.” With that he took off.
“That’s why you’re such a good football player,” I said as we jogged down the path. I expected to have to work extra hard to keep up with him, and burn out quickly, but instead, he was willing to match my pace. This man had nothing to prove. It was a quiet kind of confidence that made me so desperate to peel back the layers and see what he held inside those stone walls.
“I’m only as good as my last play,” he said.
“Good enough to get offered a contract for next season.” As soon as those words slipped out of my mouth, I knew I said too much. Matteo’s eyebrows rose with surprise, and a little more of that ice melted. I stopped running.
“How do you know that?” he asked.
“My dad might have mentioned it.” I swallowed hard. Now was the time to lay all the terms on the table. “They like what you can do, but they’re skeptical, because they don’t know where you came from. You’ve got to start letting people in, or they’ll never take a chance on you.”
Chapter Six
Matteo
“Are you willing to take a chance on me, little wolf?” The only sound in the forest was our ragged breathing and the few birds who signaled the first sign of light. The snow silenced everything else. “Can you accept that I spent the last seven years hiding, doing whatever it took to survive?”
Her lips parted. Icy breath formed a barrier between us. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been through.”
“That’s not what I’m asking. I don’t want your sympathy. I want a partner. A mate.” The words felt dangerous coming off my tongue, but I didn’t regret them. “One safe place in the world to call my own.”
She closed her eyes for a long blink. I wished I could pick up on her thoughts, like some mates claimed they could. She’s not your mate, my wolf argued. Not yet.
“I can accept you, wolf.” It was the first time she’d called me that. She usually went for the more playful rookie. But this was no longer a game. “But you have to let me in. I can see your darkness, but I have no idea how to fix it.”
“What do you know about darkness?” It wasn’t a fair question. This wasn’t a pissing contest. But the truth was, I had let her in. I hadn’t let another person—shifter or human—get this close to me since the attack. I hadn’t dared to dream about more with anyone. A future. Even on the field it was game to game, week to week.
Unless what she said was true about getting offered a contract for next season, but I couldn’t think about that right now. My focus was the Championship game—
Bullshit, my wolf snapped. Your focus is on the beauty in front of you, and if you don’t give her a fucking inch, you’ll lose her too.
“All I know is that I want to make it better.” Her soft words wisped around me, caressing my soul. “But I’m afraid I don’t know how.”
“You are making it better.” I took a step toward her, breaking through the mist. She was beautiful, with her hair tucked up under a knit cap and her cheeks pinked with the cold. And those eyes. All the stars in the sky could be reflected in them. “Just by being here with me.”
“Sometimes, I’m not sure you want me around.” She lowered her gaze. “I don’t know if it’s you or your wolf.”
I reached out to her, putting my finger under her chin. It was the first time we’d touched, skin on skin. Fireworks exploded. This woman was my mate. She felt i
t too, judging from the way her eyes widened and the little gasp she let out.
“I like having you around. A lot.” We were so close now. “I tried to deny what my wolf told me. But my wolf is never, ever wrong.”
My lips slanted over hers. For a moment, we were as still as the predawn forest. Savoring this moment of connection. Of pure surrender, when we both stopped fighting what we weren’t and accepted what we were. And I’d fallen head over heels for Jessica Williams.
I’d tried to tell myself to wait until after the Championship game, or until after I knew if I was staying in Alaska. Or until she shifted. But none of those things would be more perfect than kissing her as the first signs of the sun broke through the long night in this snowy forest.
Our lips were moving now, and an owl cheered us on. Her body pressed against mine, and her hands looped around my neck. She parted her lips and let me in.
She tasted like honey, and all the sweet things I never let myself enjoy until now, because I didn’t think I deserved them. After seven years of being invisible, pain was the only thing that reminded me I was alive. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I was ready to smooth over the cracks and be whole again.
For her.
Jessica blinked rapidly when the kiss ended, like she didn’t know where she was.
“You’re pretty good at that,” she said with a chuckle. Her tongue darted out, touching her lips, and it took everything I had not to go back for more.
“That was all you.” Our bodies knew how to move with one another, like we’d spent our entire lives choreographing that kiss. Drawing out the play on the whiteboard and waiting for the perfect opportunity to execute. I ran my hands over her arms. She was too human to be still for long in this weather. “I promised you a run if you’re still interested.”
She nodded. “Maybe it will bring me closer to my wolf.”
“Hey. What I said before that kiss didn’t come with conditions. It doesn’t matter if you never shift, Jessica. You have a wolf inside you.”
She shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“You can have all the instincts and senses of a wolf, even in your human form. It saves my ass on a daily basis, on and off the field. Come on, let’s start moving so you don’t freeze.”
She made a face like she was about to protest, but started jogging beside me. “I don’t want you to go slow because you don’t think I can keep up, rookie.”
“I know you can keep up.” I laughed. “I’m going slow because I’m distracted by the beautiful woman next to me.”
She stopped again. “Why do you shift? If you can sense everything the same way as a human. It looks scary and painful and it brings all of you so much trouble.”
“Why do you want to shift?”
Furrowing her brow made her hat slip down on her forehead. She adjusted it before she answered. “I want to feel complete.”
“That’s exactly why I shift.”
**
The Bloodhounds left absolutely everything they had on the field at the last practice before the leaving for the Championship game. It took everything I had to focus on the plays, and I got knocked on my ass more than once. My head was still in the clouds after that kiss. Jessica tasted like sweetness and snow. The only thing that was missing was her wolf. I knew it was there.
But if she didn’t shift, would it change the way I thought about her?
Another tackle had me eating turf. That one ripped the skin on my forearms wide open. Fuck, I had to focus.
“Shaw,” Coach barked at me after practice. “In my office, Please.”
The eyes of the most important players on the field—Landon Fox, Sebastian Connall, wide receiver Graham Chase, and the enormous bear shifters who made up the offensive line—followed my walk of shame into the office. I couldn’t read the look on their faces—if it was pity, disgust, or simply goodbye.
“It wasn’t my best practice.” I’d address the problem right away. I wouldn’t tell Coach Phelan why I was distracted, because he considered anything Werewife related a necessary distraction. Jessica was only involved with the show behind the scenes.
Here I was, thinking about my mate when my ass was on the line. I was still drunk from her kiss.
Coach sighed. He had deep purple smudges under his eyes. He’d put his all into preparing for this game. And I’d fucking let him down. “No, it wasn’t. I’d rather you get your nerves out now than during the game. Of course, the game can always change on a dime. You’re proof of that. But that’s not why I called you in here.”
He motioned for me to sit down and took his seat on the other side of his desk. Maybe he’d brought me in here to offer me a contract for next season. I didn’t have an agent, or any of the stuff the marquee players had. I had to start thinking long term, not just week to week if I was sticking around.
Especially since it wasn’t just me anymore. It was only a kiss, but it was so much more than that. My wolf had chosen Jessica. Didn’t matter if she ever shifted.
Focus, my wolf growled. You have plenty of time for the pretty little wolf when you’re not about to get your balls roasted by Coach Phelan.
“Security removed three shifters from the facility this morning,” Coach said. “Ever since your stunt walking on the field, we tightened things up. Can’t let every hopeful think they can do what you did.”
“Good to know, but...”
“They came looking for you. You know who these guys are?”
“What did they look like?” It could’ve been the guys that escaped with me the night our pack was attacked. But they’d given me so much shit for coming here and outing myself as alive. Insisting that I’d draw the wrong kind of attention from the Montana pack. My brother killed their alpha, but the rest of them were still out there, with no land, and no leader.
I knew firsthand how much I wanted revenge when that happened to me. Coach, the guys on the team, and even Jessica had asked me how the fuck I was such a good football player when I had no experience on record. Playing that hard was the only way I stayed sane.
Coach shook his head. “Didn’t ask for details. I think you need to come clean about where you were before you came here, Matteo.”
“I’ve told everyone the truth.” I racked my brain, in case there was anything that I left out. The attack had affected every aspect of my life, every day. I’d lost everything I’d known, thought my brother was dead for the better part of seven years, and now my job was on the line. If I didn’t have football. I had nothing.
“My pack was based in Wyoming. I’d planned to go to school on scholarship before we got attacked by a pack from Montana. After that, everything was gone. I escaped with everyone who survived. I thought it was just a handful of us. I didn’t know my brother was alive until a couple weeks ago. Thanks to Coach Williams’ daughter and her online videos. That’s when I felt safe coming out of hiding. But the guys I’d escaped with thought it was a bad idea. I have no idea if they’re in Alaska, or if it’s someone looking for retribution from the Montana pack.”
“I wouldn’t have taken a chance on you if I didn’t believe in your talent.” Coach shifted in his chair uncomfortably, and I waited for the bomb to drop. “But I can’t put the team in danger. If anything happens, I’d hate to think the blood is on your hands.”
Chapter Seven
Jessica
I’d been giddy ever since the kiss. Like finally touching Matteo like that—and what an introduction it was—awakened something inside me. It was far from my first kiss, which I had no plans of apologizing for. I’d wholeheartedly believed I had to kiss a lot of sometimes drunken, sometimes sloppy frogs to know when I found my prince.
And I’d found him, in the dark and snowy forest outside Holiday Falls, Alaska. Not only was Matteo an amazing kisser, but his touch was enough to set me on fire. Now here I was, helping Mom go through Werewife audition videos, having to act like it was no big deal.
Times like this I really missed my sister.
>
Did you feel different after you kissed Marcus? I texted her, already knowing the answer. Her mate was the only man she’d ever kissed. I’d never admitted that I admired her restraint, but her answer was going to be totally biased.
She answered almost right away. You kissed Matteo.
And it was glorious. I could taste him on my lips all over again just thinking about it. Matteo tasted like everything about that morning, cold, clear snow and pure nature. All wolf.
I got an entire row of smiley faces in response. Which was how I was feeling inside, but she hadn’t answered my question. Maybe I needed to rephrase it.
I know you haven’t been with anyone else, and you already shifted, but did anything inside you change with the kiss?
Mom came into the office and I slid my phone under the folder full of files she had me working on. I was supposed to be taking notes on these videos but all I could think was one of these ladies could get paired up with Matteo. If that was even how it worked.
“How are you doing?” Mom asked.
“I’m picking the ones that I think I could be friends with.” Like this was a show about me finding a new girl gang, and not these ladies finding their forever mates. “I feel weird about setting people up to fail.”
“Anything is possible. I pick the ones who are the most compelling on camera. The ones with the best stories, which sometimes are the most ridiculous stories. If I’m still thinking about them after I watch their audition, they’re in.” Mom sat at the table beside me. “And I keep thinking about you wanting to be a Werewife.”
My mouth dropped. After this morning in the forest with Matteo I wasn’t so sure I wanted to be on the show anymore. Something inside me wanted to protect my tough as nails, rogue wolf from the world. I didn’t know anything about darkness. But I could show him the light.
Trained by the Rogue Wolf Page 4
