This should have been enough to waken my wolf. Besides the fear melting away more with every kiss, all I felt was frustrated. Nothing was changing inside me, and I wanted it so badly.
Matteo grinned at me, and it was enough to make me forget all about my nonexistent wolf. We sat on the couch, with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. “You keep saying that.”
“It’s true.” I picked my head up so I could drink him in. Those gorgeous silver eyes, high, chiseled cheekbones, and his short dark hair. Every part of his body was hard and battle-tested. I couldn’t wait to run my hands over every inch of his bare skin. To taste him and bring him to the absolute brink of insanity. Maybe that was what my wolf needed. “You’re handling this like it’s no big deal.”
“It is a big deal.” He sighed. He’d been doing a lot of that since we left the practice facility. “But I’d already made further than I ever expected. The day I walked onto the practice field, I expected Coach to call the cops. Never thought he’d give me a chance.”
“Yes, you did. You would’ve never risked it if you didn’t have the talent to back it up,” I said. Coach only had a split second to decide if Matteo was crazy or if he was worth giving a chance. “Here’s the thing. You have the power in this situation, even if you’re watching the Championship game from here. Do you want to watch it?”
“Yeah.” He didn’t hesitate. “Those guys are my friends now. My team, And some of them I’m still pretty starstruck over. I’ve never missed a Championship game, and I don’t plan on it now.”
It was no use to tell him he was amazing. Again. He’d think I wanted something. Which I did, but if we kept kissing like this, I’d get my wish. Every kiss was like a lightning strike, and Matteo was the only thing holding me together.
“Then we’ll have a party.” We were the only two people associated with the Bloodhounds staying in Holiday Falls. My parents would join the team in Milwaukee. Even Ocho was closed. So it would be a celebration for two, and I had a feeling my partner would not disappoint. “But what I was about to say is the team needs you more than you need them, and they know that. You walked onto the team and crushed every opportunity. Imagine what you could do if you went through an entire training camp and really had a chance to learn the playbook. Coach will be scripting the plays around you.”
He blew out a low whistle. “I wouldn’t go that far. Pendragon will be ready to play at the start of the season.”
I shook my head and pushed my hand against his solid chest. It landed on his heart, which was pounding. The rhythm vibrated through me, shaking my soul. I’d never felt anything like that before. This was something totally unprecedented. It scared me in the very best way. “You blow him off the field.”
Matteo shook his head. “He’s an All-Pro, veteran linebacker. I should be carrying his equipment bag.”
“No. Other way around. He’s good, but you’re great.” I gave him a chance to scoff at my claim. Get it out of his system. “Listen to me. I’ve been living and breathing this game my whole life. I know what separates a good player from a great player. I learned from two of the toughest critics you’ll ever meet. You, my wolf, are a special player. Like once in a generation. People will be wearing your jerseys long after you stop playing.”
He closed his eyes, no doubt savoring that vision. I took advantage of that, climbing into his lap and straddling his thick thighs. He blinked several times, like he wasn’t sure he believed what he saw, but from the slow grin that spread on his face, he liked it. Matteo didn’t smile often, and each time I made him do it, it felt like a personal victory. I’d savor his happiness and make him familiar with it once again. The heat that rose from his body was unbearable, and I pulled my sweater over my head. It caught on my fingers for what felt like for freaking ever. Time was doing that thing again where it moved in strange ways and at that moment, it all together stopped. Matteo rolled up, snatching the sweater away from my fingertips and dropping it to the floor. We were so close now. Those silver eyes glittered with desire.
Didn’t matter what shifters came looking for him or if the team left him behind in Alaska. This man would not be denied.
Now that my hands were free, I could grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up. Holy crap, those ab muscles. Instinctively I knew this man was all muscle, but seeing it caught me off guard. It was like he’d been chiseled by a master. Matteo chuckled, breaking the spell. He reached behind his head and somehow the shirt disappeared.
“You’re ripped.” I didn’t mean to say that out loud. It was bad enough my own wolf was taking her sweet ass time showing up. Now he was going to think I’d never been anywhere near a man before. I’d never been up close and personal with muscles like this.
Another chuckle. He wasn’t laughing at me. He was enjoying this. Matteo wasn’t used to being admired, appreciated, or even acknowledged.
Time for that to change.
“I can’t leave any room for mistakes.” His silver gaze softened, and he ran his finger over my collarbone. “The first night I met you, you wore an off the shoulder sweater, and this necklace.” His finger brushed against the stone. It absorbed his heat and I expected it to leave a burn mark on my skin. “I couldn’t stop thinking about how sexy that little bit of skin was and what the rest of you must look like. I’m not disappointed, little wolf.”
It was my turn to close my eyes and savor the way his touch felt. This man was pure power, and he’d been subjected to a steady diet of violence and uncertainty. But when he touched me, it was like he’d known nothing but beauty and restraint. His finger moved so softly against my skin and goosebumps blossomed in its wake. He’d made it over to my bra strap, and he was tracing lower, down my chest, until he got to the edge of the cup.
A thin layer of lace was all that separated us. My nipples were already at attention as he traced the scalloped edges. I’d played out a scene like this a few hundred times in my mind since I first spotted Matteo in that airport terminal. Had this gone according to my script, he would’ve ripped the bra to shreds, and slammed me up against the wall as he claimed me. We could play it my way another time, but now, I’d savor everything this gentle giant had to offer.
It was a luxury for him to have the opportunity to go soft and slow. I understood that, in theory. But my wolf, still buried deep inside me, was hungry.
He lowered his head, kissing my shoulder, and then kissed a line down to my bra. He moved his tongue over the lace, capturing my nipple between his lips, and drawing it and the fabric into his mouth.
My head fell back as the electricity surged through my body. His rough, sure hands were on my arms, holding me in place. He took his time, moaning when I moaned. We were one.
He moved to the other breast, and his fingers crawled up my arm, pulling the strap down to expose me. I reached back and unhooked it and he moaned in approval, only breaking contact with my skin to let the lace fall away. The cool air was a shock against the heat of his passion.
I writhed in his lap, and his grip on me tightened. This man, this wolf, was a protector. And I wanted all of him.
My hands were on his shoulders now, and I caught him by surprise, pushing him back against the cushion.
His eyes widened. “My little wolf isn’t very patient.”
“How can you be—” A voice inside my head interrupted me. He’s patient because you’re his mate.
He cocked his head at my surprise. “What’s wrong?”
“I think my wolf just talked to me.”
“Oh yeah?” His face lit up. “What did she say?”
We were skin to skin, heat to heat, and now possibly animal to animal. But I wasn’t quite ready to be that vulnerable with him yet. I trusted Matteo. Everyone else had their doubts and questions, but there was no question this man belonged to me. My hesitation was around me. What if that voice didn’t come from my wolf? A little piece of me said if she never showed up, I didn’t get to keep Matteo. And this night was going too well to screw it up.
“Sh
e likes what you’re doing.” Totally true, just a really loose interpretation. “And she wants you to keep doing it.”
Forever, she grunted. He’ll know if you’re holding back.
Good thing I didn’t plan on holding back anything. Physically, anyway. Emotionally I was still a work in progress. Matteo wouldn’t expect perfection but I didn’t want to make promises I couldn’t keep.
“I’m not surprised she’s talking to you. The veil between human and nature thins when you get out of your head and into your heart.” He palmed my breasts, just for a moment, and then slid his hands down my stomach. Something about it was super primal. He had my jeans open, and he lifted my hips so I could slide them down.
I didn’t take my panties with them. A raised eyebrow from Matteo was all it took to make me reconsider that decision. The lace was gone.
A low rumble of appreciation vibrated in his throat. Sometimes, it was easy to forget this man shifted into a wolf, but this was not one of those times. My pulse quickened, trying to chase away the unfamiliar feelings.
“What’s the matter?” he asked as he brushed a stray hair away from my cheek. “You’re trembling.”
It would’ve been easier for me if he went hard and fast. This soft and slow thing was giving me too much time to process my feelings. But he needed this. Everything in his life had been hard, hurried, and I wanted to give him the chance to savor this moment.
“What...if I shift?”
His lips parted. “Can you feel your animal inside you?”
“I’m not sure.” I didn’t know how to explain it. “I heard a voice. I feel different. And I feel ridiculous even saying it. I’m not scared. Of you, anyway. But shifting scares the shit out of me.”
He leaned in for a kiss that was anything but soft. It was hot and hungry and everything me and my wolf needed at that moment. We separated with a gasp, like that kiss led us to a new dimension.
“If you shift, you shift. We stop and you become an animal.”
It was so easy on the other side. “Will you shift too?”
“Do you want me to?”
“Yes.” It was hell not being able to do the same when Jasmine shifted. To have her go through that alone, even though I was with her but as a completely different species, was torture.
“I won’t leave you alone,” he said. “No matter what happens.”
“Matteo.” The word caught in my throat. I didn’t want to talk about things that were beyond my control anymore. “I want to feel you inside me.”
He made another noise, this one much more like a growl. I loved all his noises, and that he trusted me enough to share them with me. He cupped my mound, and sensation rocketed through me. My inner muscles pulsed wildly at the first contact with my clit. He rolled it between his fingers, and I cried out when he pinched it.
“You’re so beautiful when you lose control, little wolf.” He worked my slick folds, and I writhed in his lap, helping him. “You were meant to be wild.”
My shoulders rounded, and I didn’t have much time before the building orgasm knocked me straight into another dimension. Thankfully, Matteo had on athletic pants. Nothing complicated to get him out of. With his free hand, he held my shoulder when he raised his hips to let me push his pants down his thighs. It was a good thing he did that because when he slipped his fingers inside me, with his thumb still on my clit, I saw stars.
Not just bursts of light in front of my eyes, but a blanket of stars like I was in the forest. I struggled to keep the cry inside me. Because when it came out, it sounded like a howl.
Matteo couldn’t hold back anymore. In an instant, he had me pinned down on the couch and those pants were history. His breath was hot against my inner thigh. My wolf was watching the storm roll through me. The sensation ripped me apart, and holy shit, was this my shift? Did Matteo bring my wolf to the surface?
“Yes, wild,” he said. “It’s a good look on you.”
I opened my eyes, disappointed to see nothing but my stupid, familiar, naked skin. No fur.
What. The. Hell?
My eyes blurred with tears and frustration until my gaze landed on Matteo. His eyes were filled with reverence, lust, desire, and something that I hoped was pure, unadulterated love.
“I didn’t shift,” I said.
He shook his head. “Good. Because I really want to fuck you, Jessica.”
Maybe wild didn’t have to be a physical thing. It was a state of mind. “I’m so ready for you, wolf.”
Rising to his knees, he took his thick shaft in his hand and gave a rough pump. Reaching over to the table behind him, he knocked a bunch of shit over before he grabbed something.
A condom. I’d been so worried about transforming into a wolf I’d forgotten all about the usual stuff. But Matteo didn’t. My heart fluttered, falling a little bit more in love with him as he sheathed himself.
He ran his fingers along my slit one more time. Nothing sweet and gentle anymore. Just need. He pressed the tip against me, running it back and forth. My hips rolled, and I moaned. I wouldn’t open my eyes this time, I’d just imagine myself as a wolf as he entered me.
Stretching me fully until he was all the way inside, he gave me rough kisses and rumbles before rolling his hips back. He knew exactly what I needed. His thrusts were fast and frantic, his muscles tensed as he held himself over me. Dew beaded on his skin. My muscles clenched, trying to hold him inside me, trying to capture something, anything, that would make me wolf.
My second orgasm was building in a hurry, following the fault lines that were still open from the last one. My skin burned and I was convinced when I opened my eyes, there would be fur. But it was only me and Matteo, which was more than enough.
His cock swelled, and he came inside me. I could still feel it, even through the condom.
He pulled out, and collapsed next to me, wrapping his arms around me after he pulled the condom off. His body rumbled as he covered me in kisses.
“Why are you crying?” he asked, wiping the tears away from my cheeks.
“I kept picturing myself as a wolf.” My body trembled, spent and satisfied. “I feel different. Like I should’ve shifted.”
Matteo propped his head up in his hand. His hair was damp and mussed, and those eyes were glowing. I couldn’t believe he didn’t need to shift. “You’re amazing just as you are, Jessica.”
I closed my eyes for a long blink and took a trembling breath. “You didn’t call me little wolf.”
“I know there’s a wolf inside you. But that doesn’t mean you’ll ever shift.” He nodded when I gasped. “I know you want this, and you’re used to getting what you want. But this is out of your control. There were women in my pack who never shifted. They were some of the strongest, wisest wolves among us. It didn’t make them less than the rest of us. Don’t let it beat you. Be stronger because of it.”
That’s what he had done. He’d lost all control of his life, had everything taken away from him, and he came out on the other side, stronger than ever. Not playing in the Championship game didn’t even faze him.
“Thank you. I think I understand what it means to be a wolf now.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
I could be making a total fool out of myself. If I didn’t shift tonight, it was possible I’d never shift. That I’d never have any idea what it would mean to be a wolf. But no matter what, I’d know what it meant to be Matteo Shaw’s mate. “It’s being tough. Facing challenges head-on. Knowing what to fight for, because something better is always possible.”
He leaned in and kissed me. It was easy to get lost in him. That feeling was back, but this time, it wasn’t such a disappointment when I opened my eyes and only saw skin. I was a wolf, even in my human form.
“Something better is always possible.” One more kiss. “But I’m pretty happy with what I’ve got right now. And I hope you can be too. Human or wolf, you are my mate.”
Chapter Ten
Matteo
Maybe it was The
Real Werewives camera crew, or the reporters hanging out in the parking lot hoping I’d give them a soundbite, but Jessica had been acting funny ever since we had sex. Not distant, not like she regretted it, but jumpy, like she was expecting to see something that wasn’t there. Like her wolf.
But I was starting to think she was disappointed in me.
I couldn’t make her shift. It didn’t work like that. I’d help her when it happened. I couldn’t wait until we could run through the forest together in our animal forms. Until she understood all the urges that frustrated her. I couldn’t imagine not having access to that part of myself. She needed patience. Wolves didn’t react well to stress. I had seven years of experience that guaranteed it.
“You’re sure you want to watch the game?” It wasn’t the first time she’d asked me. We hadn’t left each other’s side since the team bus drove away without me. The camera crew was a blessing and a curse. Jessica wasn’t used to having her life threatened, and having someone here to film the evidence if any shit went down gave us an extra layer of protection. It gave me a chance to relax too. No wolf would be stupid enough to attack when there was no doubt they’d get caught. In a one on one fight, I liked my chances against almost anyone. But typically wolves traveled in packs. If there were three, there were more.
“I don’t want to hear how Milwaukee got their asses kicked second hand.” I’d said it was no big deal that Coach didn’t allow me to play in the Championship game. That I never expected to get this far in the first place. But in the few short weeks I’d been an Alaska Bloodhound I began to consider the guys on the team my pack.
I wondered if any of them fought for me as the bus drove away. I hadn’t heard from anybody on the team since they left. I told myself it was protocol. Coach wanted zero distractions, and my middle fucking name was distraction.
Jessica, who’d never shifted, had my back, when my team didn’t.
She shrugged. “The press is still freaking out that you’re not there. Coach won’t answer any questions, he’s just saying in his grumpy old-ass bear way that he’s concerned with the players who will be taking the field today.”
Trained by the Rogue Wolf Page 6
