“Behold, I make all things new.”
To Jimmy, the words sounded like something from the Holy Bible, but he had no idea where the verse might be found. He glanced over his shoulder, half expecting to see a Watcher standing in the doorway. But he was alone. He repeated the words.
“Behold, I make all things new.”
Jimmy propped his elbows on the bed and thought about the meaning of the sentence. He didn’t know what “behold” meant, and that made the rest of the message fuzzy. Over and over, he repeated the words. As he did, a sense of understanding came.
First, he knew the words were linked to the events of the morning as a personal message from God. Second, he felt excitement and fear: excitement that God was doing something and fear that it would be new and therefore unfamiliar.
Sliding from the bed, he went to his desk and carefully wrote the words on a sheet of paper. When he finished, he found a tack and stuck the sheet on the small corkboard where Mama placed family photos she thought he would enjoy. The message rested beside a picture of Grandpa holding a stringer of fish he and Jimmy had caught at a small pond owned by one of Grandpa’s friends. The sight of Grandpa triggered a prayer. Jimmy didn’t pray long prayers. He made his point and moved on.
“Jesus, please make all things new for Grandpa, amen.”
He reached out and touched the stringer of fish. They’d felt cold and slimy when caught, but the photograph left them dry. Jimmy enjoyed fishing but stayed away from the edge of the water. That had been his way as long as he could remember.
Jimmy had an idea.
Going into the guest bathroom, he found a white drain stopper and took it to his bathroom. He covered the drain with the stopper and turned on the water. He watched as it slowly crept up the sides of the tub. When the water reached six inches, he touched it with his right index finger. It was cool, so he increased the flow of hot water into the mix. By the time the water was a foot deep, he’d stepped away from the tub. He watched until the water came dangerously close to sloshing over the side then hurriedly turned off the knobs and retreated to his room.
He took down the sheet of paper from the corkboard and marched into his bathroom. He put the paper on a small shelf above the toilet and stared at it for several seconds, rereading the message. If all things were new, then he should no longer have a fear of water.
He could step into the bathtub. He could be baptized. Jimmy slipped off his blue jeans. Wearing his shorts, he stared at the water. His legs begin to tremble. He bit his lip and tried to will his feet forward.
“Jimmy! What in the world are you doing? I heard the water running and came upstairs to check on you.”
Mama stood in the doorway.
“Uh, I was going to try to get into the tub.” Jimmy backed away from the water and picked up the sheet of paper and handed it to her. “What does behold mean?”
Mama took the paper from his hand. “When did you write this?”
“When I got home from church.”
“Did you copy it?”
“No ma’am, I heard it in my head.”
“From a Watcher?”
“No, ma’am.”
Mama was silent for a second before she spoke. “It was the Holy Spirit. This is part of a verse from the Bible.”
“What does behold mean?” Jimmy repeated.
“Oh, it means ‘look.’ Another way to write the verse would be, ‘Look, I make all things new.’ Behold means to pay attention, like a teacher telling the class to look at something written on the blackboard.”
“Okay.”
“But what does the verse have to do with filling the tub with water?” Mama asked.
“I wanted to see if I was still afraid of water.”
“Oh, I think I understand. If everything in your life is new, then the old things that bothered you should be gone.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mama held up the sheet of paper. “All right. If you want to step into the tub, I’ll stand here and watch. I know that with God’s help you can do it.”
Jimmy faced the water. All the ripples caused by the process of filling the tub had ceased, and the water was completely still. He took a small step forward. He advanced another step.
“Behold, I make all things new,” Mama said softly.
Jimmy shuffled his feet forward across the tile floor and stopped. He repeated the process until his toes touched the cool side of the tub. His breathing increased. He began to feel slightly dizzy.
“Stay calm,” Mama’s soothing voice reassured him. “Behold, I make all things new.”
Jimmy started to lift his left leg, but it didn’t rise more than an inch before it returned to the floor.
“Use your right leg,” Mama suggested. “When it touches the water, you won’t feel anything except wetness.”
Jimmy took a couple of quick breaths. He raised his right leg until his foot was level with the top of the tub. He stared at his foot as it moved toward the water. He lowered it to the surface. The ball of his foot and the end of his toes went into the water. Mama was right: it was wet. His foot went deeper. The water crept up his leg to his calf.
“No!” he screamed, jerking away his foot so violently that he stumbled backward.
In an instant, Mama had her arms around him. Jimmy leaned against her, his chest heaving up and down.
“No,” he repeated. “I don’t want to do it.”
Mama stroked his head. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You don’t have to. It’s good that you made as much progress as you did.”
“I don’t feel very good.”
“Do you want to lie down?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mama kept her arm around him as he walked to the bed. Jimmy sat on the edge of the bed. Mama stood beside him.
“Will you take care of the water?” he asked.
“Of course, in just a minute.”
“Will you do it now?”
“Yes, I’ll be right back.”
Jimmy heard the water began to drain from the tub and sighed. He heard Daddy come in the front door.
“Ellen!” he called out.
“I’m up here with Jimmy,” Mama answered.
Daddy appeared in the doorway as Mama returned from the bathroom with Jimmy’s blue jeans.
“How’s your father?” she asked.
“Resting, so I didn’t wake him up. I’ll talk to him tomorrow about seeing the cardiologist.”
Daddy looked at Jimmy with concern. “Are you sick? You look pale.”
Mama handed Jimmy his pants. “Put those on while I show your father what you wrote.”
Jimmy slipped on his blue jeans. Mama brought the sheet of paper from the bathroom and handed it to Daddy.
“Jimmy wrote this,” she said.
Daddy read it with a puzzled look on his face.
“Let me tell you what happened,” Mama said. “Sit on the bed with your son.”
Jimmy listened as she told Daddy the story. At first Daddy asked a few questions, but then he grew silent and didn’t interrupt. When Mama reached the part about Jimmy putting his foot in the water, Jimmy spoke.
“Why didn’t it work?” he asked.
Mama reached over and patted him on the knee.
“It was a beginning. Before today you wouldn’t have thought about filling the tub with water and stepping into it. God makes all things new, but sometimes it takes awhile for us to learn how to live in the new world he has for us.”
“So, will I stop being afraid of the water?”
“Yes, be patient. And God may use other people to help.”
“Is that right, Daddy?” Jimmy asked.
“I hope so. You mama is the theologian.”
“What’s that?”
Mama turned toward Daddy. “I think we should call the child psychologist and then talk to Brother Fitzgerald.”
“About what?” Daddy asked.
“Everything. Perhaps you’re right that I’ve been overprotective. After
what happened today, Jimmy may be mature enough to begin dealing with the truth. Knowledge could be a part of his healing.”
— Thirteen —
Jimmy asked Grandpa about his visit to the heart doctor.
“As long as I have you to check me out, I really don’t need to see a doctor,” the old man said. “But I went anyway because it made your daddy and grandma happy.”
“Did he listen to your heart through one of those things?”
“Yes, and a stethoscope is a lot colder than your ear, even when you’ve been outside in the middle of winter.”
Jimmy and Grandpa were sitting in the kitchen. It was late afternoon on Thursday. The weather had been cold and rainy for several days, but today a winter sun ruled the skies. Jimmy looked out the window into the backyard. He could see some of the white paint splotches that marked his ascent of the power pole.
“Could you call Daddy and ask him to come home early so I can climb the pole?” Jimmy asked.
“I already talked to him. He has a late appointment and can’t leave the office until supper time. Would you like to look at a fishing catalog?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’ll get it. It’s in the bedroom.”
Jimmy sat in one of the extra chairs and watched the second hand move forward on the clock near the back door. He could tell time on a digital clock, but not on a clock face.
“What time is it?” Jimmy asked when Grandpa returned.
“Five fifteen, which is a perfect time to look at a fishing-equipment catalog.”
They moved into the living room and sat on the couch together. Grandpa didn’t rush through the pages. They looked at rods, reels, lures, and other angling gear. There were many photographs of fishermen and fish. Grandpa pointed to a picture of a man casting a lure into a mountain lake that reflected with mirror-like quality the snowcapped peaks that surrounded it.
“I bet this fellow spent the night in a tent about fifty feet from the water. When he woke up in the morning, he stepped outside to stretch and saw a grizzly bear drinking on the opposite side of the lake. A grizzly bear can be ten feet tall when it stands on its hind legs.” Grandpa flipped to a different part of the catalog. “The man would have used binoculars like these to watch the bear from a safe distance. After the bear drank plenty of water, it walked back into the woods.”
“Are grizzly bears mean?”
“They can be mean and ornery.”
“How tall is ten feet?”
Grandpa set aside the catalog. “I’ll show you. Put on your jacket.”
As they walked across the grass, Grandpa reached out and took Jimmy’s hand in his thick fingers. Grandpa’s hand was different from Mama’s. Grandpa’s grip was rough. Mama’s touch was tender. Love flowed freely from both. They reached the pole, and Grandpa pointed upward with his free hand.
“Do you see the mark that looks like the letter C?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That’s about ten feet. With his front paws up in the air, it would be even higher than the mark. Can you imagine what it might look like?”
Jimmy thought about the massive bear. “Are there grizzly bears in Piney Grove?”
“No. You don’t have to worry about running into one around here.”
Jimmy’s eyes climbed higher up the pole. The next mark had a different shape.
“Look at that paint spot,” Jimmy said, pointing. “It looks like a cross.”
Grandpa tilted back his head. “Yes, I see it.”
“How high up in the air was Jesus when they put him on the cross?”
“I don’t know, but I doubt it was that high.”
Still hand in hand, they returned to the house. When they reached the back step, Grandpa let go of Jimmy’s hand, touched his chest, and grimaced slightly.
“Does your heart hurt?” Jimmy asked.
“A little bit.”
Jimmy put his hand on top of Grandpa’s hand. “I’ll ask Jesus to give you a new heart. He can make all things new. Mama says it might take awhile, so you have to be patient.”
THE FOLLOWING WEEK, JIMMY HAD A SESSION AT SCHOOL WITH Dr. Paris. While waiting for her to review his answers to a short test, he sat at his desk with a smile on his face.
“What’s going on?” she asked. “You seem extra happy today. Has something good happened in your life?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Jimmy told her about going forward to be saved. The blond-haired doctor listened closely.
“I joined the church when I was about your age,” she said.
“Which one?”
“A Methodist church in Macon, where I grew up. I haven’t gone to church much in Piney Grove.”
“You could come to the First Baptist Church and sit on the pew with my family. We have plenty of room.”
“Thank you.”
Jimmy’s face grew more serious. “I wish I could invite you to watch me get baptized on Sunday night, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to do it.”
“The water,” Dr. Paris said.
“Yes, ma’am. Could you help me? Mama said God will use other people to help me stop being afraid of water so I can be baptized.”
Dr. Paris patted Jimmy on the shoulder with a red-tipped hand. “My job at the school is to help with subjects like math and spelling. I could get in trouble if I give you advice about religious beliefs or practices.”
Jimmy couldn’t imagine Dr. Paris getting into trouble. She told the teachers what to do.
“What kind of trouble?” he asked.
“I won’t try to explain it. But you should talk to your parents and the pastor of your church about what to do. They’re the ones God will use to steer you in the right direction.”
“Yes, ma’am. Mama and Daddy are going to take me to see Brother Fitzgerald about it this afternoon.”
“Good.”
Jimmy continued. “Max told me some churches put a few drops of water on your head and call it baptism. I wouldn’t be scared of a few drops of water, but it doesn’t sound right to me. What do you think?”
“That’s what most Methodist churches do. It’s called sprinkling or christening. I was baptized by sprinkling as a baby, but I can’t give you my opinion about what you should do.”
Jimmy shook his head. “You were lucky. I wish I’d been baptized as a baby. Even if the preacher put me all the way under the water!”
JIMMY, MAMA, AND DADDY SAT IN THE LARGE WAITING AREA outside Brother Fitzgerald’s office. Like the sanctuary, the church office suite had white walls and dark burgundy carpet. Several potted plants rested in brass containers. The two sofas in the waiting area were covered in a bold print fabric. Side chairs rested in the corners.
Sitting at a desk near the door to the preacher’s office was Mrs. Kilmer, a middle-aged woman who also served as church bookkeeper. Daddy said the fireproof filing cabinet behind her desk held top-secret financial information about how much money people put into the offering plate. Jimmy stared at the brown cabinet for a few seconds and then nudged Daddy.
“Is that the filing cabinet that wouldn’t be burned up in the lake of fire?”
“Yes. A lot of people would like to know what’s in it, but it is sealed until the last trumpet.”
Mama reached over and pressed down Jimmy’s cowlick.
“You’re overdue for a haircut,” she said.
The phone on Mrs. Kilmer’s desk buzzed, and she picked it up.
“You can go in,” she said.
Jimmy followed Mama and Daddy. They stepped into a large rectangular office lined from floor to ceiling with books. A wooden desk occupied the left-hand side of the room. Brother Fitzgerald stood from behind it to greet them as they entered. Jimmy eyed the number of books in wonder.
“Have you read all these books?” he asked.
Brother Fitzgerald smiled. “No, but I’ve read most of them. I like to collect books.”
“I collect hats,” Jimmy replied.
“So I’ve heard.
Which one is your favorite?”
“My John Deere hat, or the white one from the University of Georgia.”
“Go, dawgs,” the preacher responded. “I spent four years at Prince Avenue Baptist when I was a student at the university. Football on Saturday and church on Sunday. It was a good life. Have a seat.”
There were four chairs in a circle on the other side of the room. Everyone sat. Jimmy sat between Mama and Daddy.
“How have you been doing since you got saved?” the preacher asked Jimmy.
“Good.”
Mama opened her purse and took out a sheet of paper and handed it to Brother Fitzgerald.
“He wrote this down the afternoon after he came forward in the service.”
“Behold, I make all things new,” the preacher read. “Very nice. I’d like to mention that verse when you’re baptized.”
“Uh, that’s why we’re here,” Daddy said. “There is a problem with Jimmy and baptism. He’s afraid of water.”
The preacher waved his hand in the air. “Oh, I’ve worked with folks who didn’t like to get their head wet. One woman in Douglasville wore a pink swim cap to keep her hair dry. I’m flexible.”
“This isn’t a case of dislike,” Daddy replied. “Jimmy experiences a full-blown panic attack when faced with the possibility of being in the water. He won’t go wading in a stream or step into a bathtub full of water. He’s never been in a swimming pool or the surf at the beach.”
Brother Fitzgerald sat back in his chair. “I see. What do you think caused the problem?”
They sat in silence for several seconds.
Mama spoke. “Lee, are you going to say anything?”
“Go ahead,” Daddy said. “You’re the one who did the research.”
“Do you want Jimmy to step outside?” Brother Fitzgerald asked.
“No,” Mama replied, her face serious. “Before coming to see you this afternoon, I talked to a child psychologist in Atlanta who is familiar with our situation. He suggested it might be time to discuss it with Jimmy. We thought you could counsel and pray with us.”
Jimmy Page 14
