He pulled out almost all the way and then sunk back down, thrusting in and out, in and out. He was on top, and then she was, and her hips were rotating in mixed patterns all designed to please him.
“Harder, Abbie, harder, harder,” he implored when her speed slowed down for even a second. He looked up at her, her abs taut as she rode him harder. Her nipples were poking out on her chest, and he needed them in his mouth immediately. He sat up and her legs fell to his side. He was still inside her, and he moved his hands to her waist so that he could help pull her up and down while he bit down on her breasts.
“Yes,” she was panting again and again, and then she made a strangled sound that shot straight to his groin. “Parker, yes. Parker, there. Parker, Parker. Please, Parker, fuck,” she cried over and over, and he shouted right back to her.
He needed a faster pace. He pulled her back underneath him, and began to thrust harder and faster as he grew closer, and she was bucking up to meet him stroke for stroke. She finished and only then would he let himself follow.
They lay in a sweaty heap on the bed. They waited until they were both recovered before starting a long night of passion.
Parker was pretty sure he had never been happier. This wasn’t the way he had expected this day to go, but he wasn’t complaining about it either. He had thought to walk away from it all and to move on with his life. But this was much better. Toby would understand now because it would, without doubt, clear his path to Maggie. Which meant, finally, everybody would be a winner for once.
Of course, when he woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a note that only said “I’m sorry,” he didn’t feel quite as good.
A Very Short Apology
Abbie Baker | May 30, 2015
Hi guys, I’m just going to keep this short. I can’t write today because I’m facing some major writer’s block due to a personal issue or two. I wasn’t going to say anything at all, but since I didn’t write last week because of a party hangover, I didn’t want you to wait even longer. So I wanted you to know that I’m okay. Or at least I will be. And that I will have more to say next week. I hope. Thanks for understanding.
Until next time,
Abbie
30
Abbie had taken the day off of work because she didn’t want to see Toby. She turned off her phone because she really wanted to talk to Parker, but she knew she shouldn’t. They had slept together. It was great, but it couldn’t happen again. She had gone there to get closure, and that was it. But she hadn’t gotten it. She hadn’t even come close.
Since that night, she had been avoiding everyone. Instead, she opted to sit around in her most ragged clothing, unwashed hair clipped back from her face, eating way too much. It was not a healthy situation. If it weren’t for her inability to give up her running even when she was at her worst, she’d be on a slippery slope that would be hard to recover from. Now that she was boyfriendless and prospectless once again, she couldn’t afford that.
She was avoiding Toby because even though they had both wanted the break up – at least he had said he had, and she was pretty sure he was telling the truth – it was still awkward. And now, on top of the normal awkwardness, she had added sleeping with his best friend to the mix. What did that say about her? She didn’t have any control.
She was avoiding Maggie because she didn’t want anyone else to find out about the embarrassing situation she had gotten herself into, and she knew without a doubt that with any more than the bare minimum contact between them, Maggie would easily spot something had happened and then quickly drag it out of Abbie as to why. So she was avoiding Maggie. As it turned out, this was not hard to do because Maggie was never home. Under normal circumstances, Abbie would do her best to find out where Maggie was going. New boyfriend? If Parker was telling the truth, and she believed him, then the “Maggie Parker” relationship was a sham – which, why? She needed to talk to Maggie about that just as soon as she stopped avoiding her – and that meant there very easily could be someone else. Though the next question was why wasn’t she telling Abbie. Maybe out of respect for the horrible shambles Abbie’s love life was in? Whatever. She would work on being a good friend later. She was going to focus on her own selfish problems for now.
She was avoiding Parker most of all. Not because she wanted to, but because she knew if she saw him again there would be a repeat of the last time they saw each other, and then she would be screwed – both figuratively and literally. Because if she was around him, she wouldn’t be able to stop being around him, and that was a situation which couldn’t occur.
The doorbell rang and Abbie rolled out bed to answer it. She was home by herself, but the delivery guy delivering her large “personal” pizza didn’t need to know that. She threw open the door.
“You’re not the delivery guy.”
She should have known it wouldn’t be. It was way too soon for her food to have arrived, and this place was always late. It was so good it was worth the wait, but she should have known better than to expect a pizza to be on her porch.
“Nope,” Parker said.
He would show up now, Abbie thought, when she was in dirty sweats with greasy, unwashed hair and an entire pizza on the way.
“What are you doing here, Parker?”
“You weren’t answering my calls or texts, and we have some things to discuss.”
“I think we said everything we needed to say on Friday,” she told him. “We apologized. And now we can move on. But. No. That isn’t true. I should apologize again. We shouldn’t have slept together. And I knew that and did it anyway. So for that, I’m sorry.”
“Nope. No. You aren’t sorry, and you shouldn’t be, and I’m not. And I fully plan on doing it again. Over and over. Again and again,” he said the last in a low voice that sent chills down her spine, and she knew she had to get him out of the house or everything he had just said would be true.
“We can’t, Parker,” she said in a voice much firmer than she felt, “and we won’t.”
“Why?”
“Because we can’t. It’s too hard. It shouldn’t be this hard. And then there’s Toby. And even Maggie, though you said that was all fake. It’s just best for everyone that we don’t see each other anymore. Let alone sleep together.”
“No offense, Abigail, but that’s a crock of shit. Stop being ridiculous.”
“I’m not … “
“Just stop talking, Abbie. I’m going to be doing the talking for a while, and you are going to sit back and listen.”
“Bu … “
“No! I’m serious, Abbie. After you left the other day without even the decency to say goodbye, you owe me this. Now sit down, and let me say what I came here to say.”
Abbie wanted to argue, but he was right. She owed him this. She obediently went to the couch and sat down, and Parker followed right behind. But he didn’t sit. Instead, he paced back and forth in front of her and didn’t say anything at all. Abbie waited quietly, though, and simply watched him.
She wished she had met him in any other circumstances. He was so perfect. Or, at least, he was very good at pretending to be. That was what she would have to remind herself of during this talk. He lied to you. You don’t know the real Parker. He lied to you, she thought over and over, and hoped it would work. You don’t know the real Parker.
“I never lied to you,” he was finally speaking, and unless she was accidently speaking out loud, he was also reading her mind. “I was never fake. You know me. The real me. Not the fake me Toby wanted me to create.” Yep. He was definitely reading her mind.
“I know it is going to take you a while to believe that, but I want you to give me the chance to try. I think we’ll both regret it if you don’t. And forget Toby and Maggie. They’ll be fine. I promise you, I can’t say how I know yet, but I promise you they will be fine. In fact, I think it would help them out if we got back together. So if you won’t do it for any other reason, you should do it for them so that Toby is free to see anyone he want
s to see. Anyone, Abbie. I can’t say more without breaking trusts. But he could see anyone. Even people he couldn’t see if you weren’t dating his best friend.”
He paused to let Abbie process his words. What was he saying? There really could only be one thing, but Maggie and Toby? No. That was crazy. Only, was it? They got along and she always blushed around him. But Parker had to be wrong. Or she had to be misunderstanding. Maggie would never do that without talking to Abbie first.
When he thought he had given her enough time, Parker continued.
“We were perfect together, Abbie, but we both made mistakes. Let’s not let those mistakes ruin us.”
“We were perfect,” she finally admitted. “But nothing is perfect, so what does that tell you? You know how I know that what we had wasn’t real even though you say it was? Because it was perfect. It was too easy. When things are too easy, there has to be a reason for it. In our case, it had to be you pretending to be someone else.”
“Dammit, Abbie, stop talking like that. I’m sick of your crazy theories on dating. Why can’t things be easy? Why can’t they be good? Who taught you that things have to be hard? You think that fighting and problems equals heat and passion, and that’s a dumbass thing to think.”
He stood right before her and looked into her eyes. He held the stare for two seconds, three seconds. Too many seconds, and she just stared back mesmerized.
“But I’m right,” she said, breaking the stare down. “Think about us the other night. We were at odds, and then that happened. So what does that tell you?”
“That you’re an idiot for believing what you just said. We had passion even when you thought everything was perfect. Think about the drive in theatre. Think about the time at your house before Toby showed up. We might not have finished because we were interrupted, but we were heading down the same road we went down on Friday. And even on Friday, we didn’t do anything until after we had apologized and resolved all, or at least most, of our issues. So what does that tell you?”
Abbie could feel her resolve slipping. She knew she should still be mad, but somehow she couldn’t formulate why. This conversation needed to end and it needed to end fast. She sat there pouting, and when he realized she wasn’t going to respond, he moved on.
“What we had was so good, Abbie. Despite what you want to believe, it was real. But it could be better. It could be so much better. Give us a chance. All you need to do is pretend Toby never walked in that day and ruined everything. I know why he did it, but that doesn’t change what he did. He came in that day and ruined something great.”
He was pacing again.
“Abbie, I’m not lying when I said I was never fake with you. The only thing I ever lied about or omitted was that I knew Toby, I knew about you and Toby, and I knew who you were. And it was wrong of me to not tell you that, but I thought I was doing the right thing. And not just for Toby, but for you.”
“How?” Abbie cried out incredulously.
“Because you and Toby weren’t right for each other. And I was pretty sure we were. I just needed to keep you two apart for a while until you realized that.”
“Who gave you the right to do that?” Abbie was yelling now.
“I did! I gave myself the right as the only person who knew what the hell was going on. As the only non-stubborn, clear seeing person in this story. And even I had blinders on. So that’s who gave me the right. Me.”
“I’d like you to leave.” Abbie said this calmly even though she had just been screaming.
“Not until you hear me out,” Parker emphasized every word and made it clear he wasn’t joking. It was too late. She had heard enough, and it was time for him to go. But when he left, she felt ill. Had she made a mistake? She still wasn’t sure.
The doorbell rang. She thought Parker had come back. She ran to the door and threw it open. But it was only her pizza, late as usual from this place, but she was no longer hungry. She paid and closed the door. After she had slammed the door behind him, she sank to the floor and cried herself to sleep right there on the hardwood.
When she woke up, she heard her phone buzzing, and checked it out. There was a new comment on her short post. She expected it to be just another curious reader asking her if she was all right. She almost ignored it, but then she saw the name: Wesley Parker Bryant.
“Abbie, if you won’t listen to me, I’ll just say what I need to say here. This is actually fitting. It’s how it all started, after all, with an ill thought out public post of a very private situation. But I don’t care about privacy. All I care about is you. So please read this. And please keep an open mind while you do.
I want you to think about that night before Toby told you what was happening. I want you to truly think about it and how great it was. The only reason we haven’t stayed together was because Toby was in the picture. Now that he isn’t, now that you have him out of your system, there’s nothing holding us back.
Except for what I did. But I did that for Toby, and I didn’t even really do it. So if anyone should be mad at me for tricking them, it should be him, not you. And again, I repeat: think about how perfect we were together before Toby. I hope you read this, and believe it’s the truth.
I know how you think, Abbie, and I know why you trust your gut on Toby, but not on me. You thought because Toby made you do stupid things like write tell-all posts on your blog you later regretted, he must have been ‘the one.’ Since your interactions together no longer inspire you to stupidity, you had no trouble ending the relationship. Now you’ve had time to think back on our time together. Somehow you’ve decided since I never upset you so badly while we were dating that you had to turn to alcohol, and because I never made you do irrational things, we must not be right for each other. You’re convinced it can’t be a good sign when things are too easy.
Well, guess what, Abs? You shouldn’t be driven to drinking by the person you love. You shouldn’t have to work so hard to make them happy. You shouldn’t have to change who you are to be together. Don’t get me wrong, Toby is a great guy. That’s why we’re friends and roommates. You are an amazing woman. That’s why I want to be with you, go on unconventional dates with you, spend every spare moment with you. You are open and honest and want to shout your feelings to the world. And that’s great. Toby is closed off, private, and doesn’t want anyone to know what he’s feeling. And that’s fine too. But they don’t go together. Clashing personalities, not an epic love story, causes all the disagreements.
So is this what you call love, Abbie? Is this what you call passion and fire? Being too different to get along? Being too afraid to admit it? For some reason, you assume feeling strong emotions around a guy must mean you love him. He made you sad and he made you angry. There were times he made you smile and laugh. Hell, he even made you feel things I don’t want to think about you feeling for anyone other than me, Abbie. But did he make you happy? Did he make you feel loved? Because I know I did, and I can again.
I like everything about you. Never change, Abbie. You’re perfect just the way you are. I’ll never ask you to be private. I want you to post every happy detail of our love story because I want everyone to know I’m lucky to be with you. I want to be the person you want to write about and the person you do crazy, embarrassing things with. And when we do those things it will be because you’re drunk on happiness, not because you drank out of sadness. Let the world know what you think and how you feel.
Know what I think? With me, you’ll be too busy celebrating our life to feel a moment of sorrow because I think we are perfect for each other, even if you don’t believe in perfection. Even if you won’t admit it, I think you do care about me. Most of all, I think you need to hurry up and realize what I am saying is right because if you don’t we’ll both end up regretting it.
Think about what I said, Abbie, and think about it hard. And while you’re thinking, just keep in mind what I’m about to say. I love you. I don’t care if we haven’t known each other long enough to be in love or al
l of the problems we’ve had. No matter what, I do. I love you. And I think if you will only admit it, you love me too. I just hope you realize it before it is too late.”
Then it was over, and Abbie was left alone with her own thoughts.
What was she going to do? One thing she knew was she wasn’t going to do anything tonight. She was going to sleep on it for once instead of doing something rash she’d regret. And she was going to talk to Maggie about it because she needed Maggie’s advice and her approval before she could do what she had planned. Abbie even needed to talk to Toby first because he deserved an apology and an explanation from her before she talked to the Internet about what she was feeling. But if she didn’t come to think better of it, and if no one talked her out of it, she already knew what she was going to do. She was going to write a ridiculous, over the top post, spewing all of her feelings to everyone who would listen. But this time, the only consequences were going to be good.
31
Toby pulled Maggie into the house, and reveled in her shy laughter as he bent down to kiss her. After she and Abbie had a long talk, and after Toby and Abbie had a long talk where she confessed she had been playing him, they both apologized, and she had asked him if she could talk about him one last time on her blog to help her win back Parker...to which he happily agreed because at this point, there was no sense in not agreeing and if it would get this whole mess behind them he was all for it, they were both free to do what they wanted.
Abbie had given them their blessing, and they had both agreed that Parker’s was implicit because of what he had said on Abbie’s blog and because they all knew his feelings for Abbie even without the post and because he had never really been dating Maggie to begin with.
“Plus,” Toby had pointed out to Maggie, “he really owes me one anyway.”
The Abbie Diaries: The Complete Series Page 18
