It was disappointing that, just like all the others, Hale didn’t notice that thin thread sever between my response to his touch and what could have been ecstasy. He just kept on doing his thing, and I was there, one moment loving it, the next totally indifferent.
“Can I take these off?” he whispered, running his other hand along the elastic band of my pants.
“Sure.” What difference did it make? I was just a passenger at this point, but he seemed to be enjoying himself, and I didn’t want to get in the way.
Stripping away my pants, he left the panties and placed a kiss over the fabric. I smiled, because politeness and sex seemed like they should go together.
His tongue traced my hip, and that was pleasant, but I was distracted from the pleasure as he pulled my underwear down my legs. As he kissed my knees, I feared he’d keep kissing until he was face to face with my vagina.
Dreading that possibility, I kept my thighs together. Why did people have oral sex? I didn’t understand the gains on either side. There was nothing fun about having a penis jammed down your throat. I’d considered it earlier, but I was over the idea now.
And as far as having a guy go down on a woman, it was all rather embarrassing. I could never enjoy it because I was too worried about what I tasted like or smelled like and bodily functions and my lack of skill with a razor. It was way too much stress, and I’d much rather not have that sort of pressure in my life.
Warm hands pressed my knees apart, but I resisted, keeping them together. Hale looked up at me, brow lifted. “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Do you want to stop?”
His fingers were making a nice little swirly pattern in my knee pit, which made it hard to concentrate. “No.”
His other hand rested on my belly, his thumb teasing the soft thatch of hair just below. “Are you going to let me in?”
I laughed nervously. Why was it so bright in here? I couldn’t bring myself to tell him no, so I unclenched a centimeter, and he continued kissing up my thighs and my body locked up, clenching again. “You don’t have to do all that.”
He laughed. “What do you mean?”
My face felt like it was going to catch fire. “I’m okay.”
“Rayne, what are you talking about?” he asked slowly, appearing to fight a laugh. “I want to.”
“I know, but…”
He tipped his head and frowned. “You don’t like it?”
Jesus, I was the unsexiest woman in the world. “I know a lot of men do it, but I don’t need it.” He was still frowning. “I’m not one of those women who … require… all that.”
He gave a disbelieving laugh. “I’m aware it’s not a requirement.”
“So we’re clear then.”
He sat back and studied me for a minute, and I was pretty sure I just killed the mood. No bringing this bitch back to life now. It was deader than Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.
I gasped as he yanked my body toward the edge of the bed and pulled my legs apart. “Wait—”
“Shut up and give it a chance.” His mouth descended and my entire body tensed, but then came the soft tease of his tongue and a bit of my hesitation faded.
I eased up on my elbows. “I would have shaved if—”
He shoved me back down with a heavy hand on my abdomen. “Shh.”
Okay then. Brow tense, I blinked at the ceiling as he pressed kisses to my folds and worked a finger inside of me. That was nice, but not enough to ease my self-consciousness. However, as he slowly pumped that gentle finger and closed his lips over my clit I found all my worries being pushed aside by the pleasant sensations.
His shoulders lowered, and he spread my legs wider, his mouth doing something really impressive and suddenly I was sucking in a deep breath and waiting for him to do it again. He did. And again. And then I boldly closed my eyes and sank into the bedding as another finger delved inside of me. If I kept my eyes closed, I could almost overlook the fact that this should be a humiliating situation.
“Sweet Jesus!” I gasped as he really struck a nerve.
His other hand traveled to my breast and found my nipple. Overwhelmed by everything he was doing, I tried to keep up, but he was sending so many sensations through me at once I couldn’t keep track so I just fisted the blankets.
His rhythm increased, and I was panting as everything suddenly tightened, and I feared I was about to do something wholly embarrassing. “Wait, wait, wait, wait!”
But he kept sucking and feeding those fingers deep inside of me, and I couldn’t hold on any longer. My body tensed and trembled as a rush of heat spread through me and he hummed as I sucked in a breath.
Mission Control, we have lift off!
My heart raced as I shivered under the hot pressure tingling under my skin. I writhed and moaned as my fingers gripped the bedding.
He never stopped following that thread of pleasure. As the pure euphoria shivered through me and a cool sweat coated my skin, I gasped, breathless and in total shock. “Well, holy… fuck.”
He chuckled and lifted his body, covering mine as he pressed his mouth to my throat. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“I don’t know what that was,” I panted.
He laughed again and rolled me to my side, pulling my body into the curve of his. Stunned by what just happened, I played it back in my mind, but it was all a blur.
I, of course, masturbated. Sometimes, if I couldn’t sleep, I’d duke it out and call it a night. But what I did and what Hale did were two very different things.
He kissed my shoulder and wrapped his arm around me, pulling the blankets over us. This was probably the moment I should bend down and repay the favor, but I was really tired and who was I kidding? I’d seen his penis through his pants. That thing would never fit in my mouth.
So I did what every shitty bed partner does. I fell asleep.
Chapter Twelve
Girlie Feelings are a Pain in the Ass
It took me a second to realize I was naked when I woke up, but the moment I recalled Hale’s presence I tried to use my spidey senses to detect if he was still in my bed.
If he was behind me, I didn’t want to wake him until I snuck out of bed and brushed my teeth. I had to figure out how to get from the bed to the bathroom—naked—without being seen. Maybe I should grab some clothes on the way because brushing my teeth naked seemed wrong, like it might be illegal in some backdoor town in the most obscure part of the south.
With absolute steadiness, I slowly shifted my arms and—I let out a breath. He was gone. Flopping to my back I stared at the ceiling and wondered if I should take offense that he’d snuck out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.
After thinking about the countless unattractive things I could have done in my sleep, I got up and showered. The area between my vagina and my inner thighs was tender. I wasn’t sure if they were tendons or muscles or what, but they ached like a motherfucker—a constant reminder that I’d done naughty things last night.
Were these secret orgasm muscles I’d never used before?
After my shower, I gathered my phone, slipped on my flip-flops, and thought about how the day might roll out. I’d have my usual breakfast meeting with Remington, tackle any tasks he had for me, work on the party plans, maybe sneak away around lunch for a nooner with Hale… Because really, how far could we stretch all this foreplay stuff before we got to the sex?
If we stretched it out too long, he might expect the presidential treatment, and that hype was just a lot of noise. Blowjobs sucked. Ha. I’m so clever.
Stepping out of my room, I—“Penis!”
Hale laughed, stepping out of his room at the same time. “Good morning to you too.” He leaned in, calm as a summer wind, and my nerves jittered as he kissed me.
“Good morning. Sorry. You snuck up on me.”
“Are you going up to the sky deck?”
“Yeah. Is your dad up?”
“He’s having coffee.”
>
“Oh. Good. Okay. Well, I better get up there then.”
He smiled. “I’ll join you.”
But breakfast was my and Remington’s time. Strange that I didn’t want Hale to intrude. I wasn’t sure if it was because Hale made me nervous or because I was actually coming to enjoy my private time with Remington.
Remington was the first older man I ever really talked to. I mean, I’d had professors in college I sometimes spoke to them after class, and my Uncle Rob tried to have inquisition conversations with me every Christmas when he visited, but other than that I had no other older men in my life.
I kept my mouth closed, worrying about why I cared so much as we took the stairs.
“Meyers,” Remington greeted as I stepped onto the sky deck.
“Good morning, sir.”
“Did you sleep well? Bit of a storm last night.”
Funny, I hardly remembered the storm once Hale had distracted me. “I did fine.”
“Good.” He nodded. “You might finally be finding your sea legs. Hale, did you need something?”
Hale made himself at home at the table. “I figured I’d join you for breakfast.”
Remington’s brow twitched, but then he called for Marta to bring another setting. Their conversation moved to topics that didn’t concern me, and I ate in silence. After thirty minutes of boring project talk and me silently eating as if I were invisible, I folded my napkin and stood.
“If you don’t have any assignments for me this morning I’ll go make some calls about Seraphina’s party.”
“That’s fine, Meyers.” Remington waved a hand and went back to what he was saying to Hale. I frowned and took the steps to the deck below where I worked yesterday.
Noon rolled around and I was preoccupied when Hale came to check on me.
“Did you want to join us for lunch?”
“No, thank you. I have to make a few more calls and then I have to lay out the menu with Laurent.”
He came up behind me and brushed his hands down my arms. “Take a few minutes to relax,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my temple.
I shouldered away from his kiss and avoided eye contact as I searched through my notes for nothing in particular. “I want to get this done.”
“Hey. Are you upset with me or something?”
“No, I’m fine.”
I wasn’t fine. I was confused and having irrational feelings about my relationship with my boss. It didn’t make sense for me to be so envious of Remington’s attention, especially when he gave it to his son.
“I’m just busy.”
His hand landed on the file I was paging through, shutting it. “Then why won’t you look at me?”
I glanced up at his face, blanking my expression. “I’m looking at you.”
I didn’t want to act like a spoiled child, but I was on the verge of tears, and when I got like that I sometimes lashed out. Totally irrational, I know, but there were strange emotions happening.
“What’s going on, Rayne?”
Maybe I was just stressing about trying to get the party perfect since it was my first big assignment. It was a lot more involved than the rinky-dink little picnics my family threw.
“I’m sorry. I’m just in the middle of this, and I don’t want to stop until I’m finished.”
He frowned but pulled back his hand. “You sure you don’t want to eat?”
“I’m sure.”
And I was an idiot, because the moment his eyes shuttered with that impenetrable poker face, our connection severed.
“I’ll see you later then.” He turned and walked away and my mood plummeted even lower.
Ready to cry, because I was a girl and had all these stupid hormones running through my body and no experience communicating the irrational thoughts racing through my head, I blinked. I should go apologize but he was with Remington, and I didn’t want anyone else to know I was this unstable on the inside.
Trying to get over my issues, I buried myself in work and promised as soon as Hale was alone I’d apologize and explain that I have some insecure issues I’m still trying to figure out.
Over the next hour, every time their voices carried from the sky deck above, I suffered a little stab of uncertainty. Not only that, I was hungry. I could have gone up and joined them, but something held me back.
I didn’t know how to read Hale when others were around. Of course, we weren’t broadcasting our private business, but he hid it so well it stung. And Remington definitely couldn’t know what we’d done, so when the three of us were together, the conversation turned to business, business that didn’t concern me. I might as well just work through lunch—oh wait, I was.
I labored tirelessly until it was time to situate Remington for his nap. As I gave him his pill and positioned his pillows, he surprised me by asking, “What’s the matter with you today, Meyers?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re not yourself. Usually, I can’t shut you up. Today you haven’t said more than three words.”
“I’m fine—”
“Don’t bullshit me. Is something going on?”
“No. I’m just a little off my game today I guess.”
“Well, get back on it and go back to being your usual self. How are your stocks holding up?”
“They’re fine.” And he knew that, being that he checked the market every morning with a fine-toothed comb.
“How are the party plans coming along?”
“Laurent gave me a list for the menu and told me about a few helpful vendors by our port. He said I could set up the order ahead of time and then all we need to do is pick it up.”
“Good. Have you talked to your parents since you’ve been onboard?”
“My parents?”
I could call my dad, but that would be awkward, him asking who I was and how I got his number. But Remington didn’t need to know that, so I said, “I’ve texted my mom a few times.”
His eyes were getting tired. “Maybe give her a call. You seem like you might be missing home.”
His concern surprised me. I’d avoided calling home so I wouldn’t miss it, but maybe he was right. Sometimes moms made things better.
“I’ll give her a call tonight.”
“Good.” He shut his eyes. “You do that, Meyers. I’ll see you in two hours.”
I quietly closed the curtains and saw myself out of his room. When I reached the steps, I paused.
I wasn’t homesick. I was aggravated with the way I blew off Hale earlier, irritated with my inability to be an adult woman who handled her emotions rather than let her emotions run her.
The mature thing to do was to go find him and make things better. Staring up at the steps leading to the upper deck living room I heard the low rumble of his voice. I worried Eric might be with him, but as I turned the corner, I saw he was on the phone.
When he spotted me, he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Right,” he mumbled softly into the phone.
I approached slowly.
As he listened to the person on the other line, his gaze moved across the table where he had a piece of paper. He flipped it over and I wondered if that was for my benefit. There was still so much I didn’t know about him or the secrets he might keep. Whatever was on that paper held more meaning than I wanted it to, now that he’d hidden it.
“And what about the other issue?” he asked, holding up a finger, signaling me to stay. Or maybe asking me to be quiet. His brow creased. “Well, that’s not true.”
Standing, he pocketed the slip of paper and paced. Covering the phone, he whispered, “I’ll be a just minute.” Then he stepped onto the narrow side balcony and shut the door.
His posture was tense as he spoke freely, gesturing with his hands. Was this what angry Hale looked like? Or was this business shark Hale? I had at least thirty different personalities, but maybe other people only had a few.
After several minutes, the doors to the balcony slid open, and he pocketed his phone.
“Fine.”
But he didn’t look fine. Walking to the bar, he poured something from a decanter into a stout glass and swallowed it in one shot.
“Did you need something?”
Coming up here suddenly seemed like a bad decision. “No, I just wanted to see what you were up to.”
“Are you finished your work for the day?”
I nodded.
He poured another drink and watched me as he sipped from the glass this time. “You seemed preoccupied today.”
Feeling guilty for how I treated him earlier, I said, “I was a little bit of a bitch this afternoon. I don’t know what was wrong with me.”
He kept to the other side of the room, but his gaze went to the deck. I looked through the glass doors and realized there was a clear view from this table to the table where I worked.
“Interesting,” he said quietly. “Sometimes what people say and what they show are two different things.” He’d been able to see me all day, even the moments when I was freed up enough to tip my face back and catch a little sun.
“I really was busy today.” Those moments of resting my eyes were for brain storming, that’s all.
“I’m sure.”
Whatever we were doing, I didn’t want to do it anymore. He saw me naked. There shouldn’t be this artificial politeness between us.
“I’m sorry,” I confessed, using my genuine big girl panties. “I was upset.”
“Why?”
My gaze fell to the carpet as I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You know.”
Of course, I knew, but it was stupid and admitting it aloud was ridiculous. “Can we just start over?”
Once again he proved I’d never beat him in a staring contest. I shifted my gaze to the table and he waited me out until the silence was suffocating.
He could have guessed anything. He could have asked if I was upset that he left my bed before morning or if I regretted what we had done last night, but he didn’t and I wasn’t sure if that was because he was just that confident or if this was an issue of arrogance. Either way, he wasn’t going to waste time guessing when he’d taken the time to ask point blank.
Calamity Rayne: Gets A Life Page 16
