“Probably. I wanted to let you know Jasmine’s plans are complete. It was nice of you to handle that for Hale since he’s preoccupied with family.” I had the pleasure of watching a bit of his smugness fade.
“If you object to the assignments I give you—”
“I don’t. I just wanted to let you know it’s done.” I’d be damned if I’d give him the satisfaction of letting him know this bothered me. “Is there anything else?”
“Does Hale know where you were?”
I shrugged. “You’d have to ask him.”
“I’m asking you.”
“The last thing I’d assume to do is speak for a Davenport. I suggest you take that up with your son.”
He glared at me and my stomach started to cramp. I needed to get away from him. First he’d hurt me, but now I was just pissed. “If that’s all for the day—”
“Alfonse is going to take you driving.”
I frowned. “What?”
“I’m short a limo driver now that Eric’s gone.”
“Miles is learning. Wouldn’t he be better suited?”
“No. He has a background in business. He’s better suited for working by my side.”
“I see.” The waitress gets the demotion.
“Be back by eight to help me to bed.”
My lips compressed. So Miles was also overqualified for tucking him in. Without another word, I turned on my heel and went to find Alfonse.
Several hours later I was in need of a big glass of wine. Alfonse needed something a bit stronger.
So I wasn’t the best limo driver. I was lucky I managed not to kill myself in my own little two-door car over the past decade. The limousine was three times the length of what I was used to.
Hale had texted me several times asking where I was, but Alfonse freaked out and took my phone the second I attempted to reply while driving. When we got back to the house I called Hale, but there was no answer.
Seeing that Remington was showered and ready for bed, I went about situating his medicine and pillows. The chill between us had not thawed and I was anxious to get to Hale’s.
“You’ll need to have Hale sign the plans for the estate,” he said, shifting into bed.
“I will.”
“I’ll also need to see them.”
I paused, knowing full well this had nothing to do with him, but I was his employee, and my loyalties were divided. Having had enough, I faced him.
“What is it you’re trying to prove here, Remington?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, cut the crap. Is this about you not wanting me to date your son or is this about the baby or is it something I did that I’m not even aware of?”
He stared at me for a long moment, then admitted, “I don’t want you to date my son.”
That hurt a little more than I expected. My voice turned small as I worked it past the lump in my throat and the crushing insecurity resting on my heart. “Why?”
“I don’t think it needs to be spelled out.”
“Then you should have hired someone a little brighter than me because I’m a touch dense. You were fine with everything a week ago.”
“I misjudged you.”
I frowned, perfectly aware I had faults, but confident I was still a decent person. “How so?”
“How is it, Meyers, that he won’t let you look at another man, yet you can accept all his baggage left by another woman?”
That baggage was Hale’s daughter and partially his, too. I shook my head, truly feeling sorry for him. “Hale did you a favor, Remington.”
“He did me no favor. It’s a goddamn complication.”
“That complication is your granddaughter,” I snapped.
He shook his head and looked away. “I’ll have nothing to do with that child.”
No matter how many breaths I took, I couldn’t get enough air. “How can you say that? You and I both know that child is something to you. How can you punish her? She’s innocent.”
“That child will have every bit of my legacy that my future grandchildren will, but I refuse to celebrate this perverse version of…I don’t even have a word for it.”
I wanted to hit him. But for all the rage I felt, it was nothing compared to my disappointment and pity.
“I thought you were a nice guy.”
He laughed, coldly. “Your mistake.”
Speechless, I stared at him for a solid minute. “Yes. My mistake.” Lowering my head my vision swam behind a sheen of unshed tears as I finally figured it all out. “You used me. Eric was right.”
When he said nothing, I accepted the truth.
“You hired me because you thought I’d distract Hale. Maybe he’d realize he wasn’t ready to be tied down with a child. How long was I supposed to hold his interest, Remington? A few weeks? Months?”
“You could have married him, so long as it kept him from going through with this nonsense.”
A tear escaped and I quickly dashed it away. “I’ll start looking for my replacement tomorrow.”
He sat up. “Now, just a minute, Meyers. We have an arrangement.”
“Which one is that?” I snapped. “There have been so many I can’t keep track.” My body shook with indignant pressure as I tried to hold it together.
“The one where you work for me and we cut the bullshit.”
“Then cut it!” I shouted. “Don’t use me to manipulate your kids! If you want me to drive your limo, fine. I don’t care if you want me to spoon-feed you, but I’m not going to be a part of your games, especially where Hale’s concerned. The only perverse thing about this whole situation is you. I’m sorry you lost your wife. But you did this. You. This isn’t Hale’s fault, and you should be thanking him for fixing your screw up, but all you can think of is yourself. That baby needs a father and he’s going to be one for her.
“Do you know how incredible that is? How can you sit here and act like nothing remarkable is happening? Why do you have to be so hard on them? Don’t you ever just look at your kids and feel proud of them? Because that’s all they want.”
I choked, my words getting ahead of me. Somewhere in the midst of all that I’d lost control of my emotions and begun shouting through my tears. Even I, in the short span of time I’d known Remington, had become desperate for his approval.
I quickly blotted my eyes and whispered, “They just want your approval.”
The look on Remington’s face was the closest thing to fear I’d ever saw him express. Neither of us said anything for some time. I frowned as he twisted his legs off the bed and made to stand.
Out of habit, I took a step forward, but he held out a staying hand. Struggling, he held the bedpost and wobbled to his feet.
I was too hurt to detect his motive as he staggered to the end of the bed and gripped the other post. Face red, he looked in my eyes and frowned.
Reaching into the silk pocket of his blue pajama set, he withdrew a linen square and pressed it into my hand. “The one thing I can’t take is a woman’s tears, Meyers.”
I looked down at the handkerchief with the initials RD sewn into the corner. “I don’t understand you, Remington.”
All of this discord was killing me. I didn’t like the level of consequence connected to his every action, and it wasn’t fair that his indifference could cause so much heartache.
He lowered himself to the edge of the bed and caught his breath, hand still gripping the bedpost. Head low, he muttered, “I’m proud of my children.”
I wiped my eyes unable to continue this argument. My hands were tied and I hated it, hated that he had so much authority over those that loved him and he continuously abused it. Dads weren’t supposed to be like that.
He frowned as he stared at the wall ahead of him. “I’m old, damn it. I’m supposed to die with dignity. That night…it meant nothing. But to Rachel it meant everything. She never looked at me the same after she caught us together. I swore I’d make it right by her, but…I never
had the chance.”
I sat beside him on the bed, also staring at the wall. Rachel was dead. Those were his demons and he had to deal with them privately.
“Punishing Hale won’t make your regret any easier.”
He glanced at me and I couldn’t tell if he thought I was just a naïve girl or if he thought I had a point. “A few weeks ago you told me you didn’t date.”
I shrugged. “I told you the truth.” As much as this family rift was upsetting me, it had very little to do with me.
“You’re in love with him.”
I shrugged again. “I haven’t had a lot of men in my life, so it’s a little hard for me to define what I feel, but it’s a lot.”
It was love. There was no denying it. But that shouldn’t influence the family situation one way or another. Our love was private, mine and Hale’s.
I really missed the nice side of Remington when it came to defining things I had little experience with, because he had an astounding way of clarifying the things that confused me in this world. Had the baby not come when she did, I would have told him about my drunken confession the other night and asked him to make sense of all the confusion in my head, but he’d been unreachable for the past week, and I had no one to simplify these emotions.
Elle was just a phone call away, but since the news of the baby, she’d been advising me against further involvement with Hale. The fact that I shelved her advice was the first indication that I was more than a little emotionally involved. Hale was the first thing in my life I wanted regardless of other people’s opinions on the subject.
Remington sighed. “He’s a lot like me, Meyers.”
In some ways, yes, but not all. “No matter how upset I am with you, Remington, I do believe there’s some good in your soul.”
“You’re good for him.”
I laughed without humor. Now he was contradicting himself. “But you want better for him.”
He waved a tired hand. “Of all the women I’ve known, I’ve never had trouble figuring them out. You’re different.”
“Why?”
He frowned, shaking his head as if up was suddenly down and purple was now yellow. “You’re a mess.”
I laughed again. No arguing with that.
“Hale doesn’t do messy. He’s always had an aversion to it. He used to keep his blocks stacked neatly in a pile when he was a boy and I’d ask him why he never played with them. I suppose he wanted to please me, so he built a castle. I watched as he walked to the wall, carefully selecting each one and carrying it back only when he was sure it would fit seamlessly into his plans. He worked on that castle for a week. Barrett had built several things in that time, but nothing was as impressive as the one Hale constructed.”
“He is meticulous.”
“Babies are messy,” he commented. “I’m not talking about sticky fingers and spilt milk. I’m talking about the stuff inside. You worry if they’re going to get bullied, if they’re going to be a bully, and you try to steer them somewhere in between soft and hard so you’re confident they’ll someday be able to take care of themselves. I had three incredible women help raise my children. How is Hale going to do this alone?”
A bit of my anger faded as I understood his distance was partially made up of concern. “You’re worried about him.”
“Of course I am. He doesn’t have a clue what he’s committing to. It’s hard enough raising your own children. I couldn’t imagine taking on someone else’s.”
Taking a deep breath, I gave him the truth. “The baby’s his, Remington. If you’d meet her, you’d see. He loves her already.” Even I was a bit taken aback by how fast he’d fallen, how absolute Hale’s love was once he gave it.
“And then there’s you.”
My defenses went back up. “What about me?”
“You don’t date, yet you’re in love with my son. How strong is that love, Meyers? Is it strong enough to share? As much as I loved each of my wives, I never loved any woman to the degree I loved my daughter. Hale needs a woman who will help him if he’s really going to do this.”
“Who says?”
“Time. Time says.”
“Remington, my mom raised me alone and she did fine.”
For the most part. I knew I was a bit odd and irresponsible, but I was working on it.
He studied me for a long moment. “Where was your father?”
I shrugged. “Away doing something else.”
“That explains a lot.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean.”
After the last few days, I was completely drained. Sighing, I said, “I can’t tell you how many times I tried to contact him and came back empty-handed. I couldn’t even tell you the last time was the end of my hope because I still haven’t given up. I know I’ll eventually try again, and he’ll most likely let me down again. It’s something I’ll probably be bothered by for my entire life.”
Reaching over, he patted my knee. “He’s the one missing out. You’re a good kid, Meyers. You have a lot of potential and one day he’ll realize exactly who you are and that it’s too late.”
I laughed, despite myself. “It’s a little hard to believe that when a minute ago you told me I wasn’t good enough for your son.”
“I never said that.”
“But you don’t want him to date me.”
He sighed, the events of the past few days catching up to him. “You’re a lot more sensitive then you appear. I don’t want you to date my son, but not because I think you’re not good enough. Davenport men don’t make the best partners.”
That might be true by Remington’s record, but Hale wasn’t his father. “Are you worried about me?”
“You make it too easy for him. A woman should challenge a man, make him strive to evolve.”
“Maybe everything isn’t a merger or a competition, Remington. Maybe people can just love each other.”
“That’s exactly the sort of liberal bullshit I’d expect from you.”
I shrugged. “I am who I am.”
“You’re young. You should want to be more. I’d understand settling down if you had your life in order, but you don’t.”
No one said this was where it would end. I’d come here because I needed to shake up my life. But this whole strategized approach to dealing with people wasn’t me.
“I told Hale I wouldn’t walk away just because of the baby.”
“And that’s exactly what I meant when I said you have potential. You might not like being challenged, Meyers, but you’ll be damned before you balk at one. Perhaps part of me doesn’t want you to date Hale because I’m worried his choices will hold you back.”
Startled by his words, I faced him. “Hold me back from what?”
“I gave you an opportunity, an open door with a private invitation to a world you never could’ve entered as a waitress. You should think about that before you commit to playing nursemaid.”
My brow tightened. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
“You and I both know there’s a good possibility that’s how this will end. You’re capable of more.”
I didn’t want more and I definitely didn’t want to play nanny. I wanted easy. Babies equaled difficult and I’d been telling myself that since one was thrown into the picture. None of that thinking led to nursemaid.
“So what is it you want, Remington?”
“I want to see you try.”
“I am trying.” I was trying to make a change, trying not to strangle my new boss, trying to finally maintain an adult relationship. All of these things were new in the trying department.
He shook his head. “You need direction, Meyers. At first, I thought it would be entertaining, passing my days with someone who challenged me—sort of like a bad reality show you can’t look away from—but then you surprised me. The few assignments I gave you, you tackled with aptitude. I’m never quite sure when you’ll pull back and when you’ll barrel in like a bull in a china shop, but you rarely
disappoint me. You’re a smart girl, but you let your fear get the better of you.”
“I just want to be your assistant. Conquering the world is your shtick.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Meyers. You’re more than a gofer.”
No, I’m not.
“Well, that’s all I want to be right now, so you can stop worrying I might return to childcare.”
“So you intend to stay on as my assistant.”
Tricky bastard. He wasn’t even asking, more so surmising whatever kind of round about negotiation this was. I wasn’t sure if continuing my job for him was right. This all started because I wanted him to see his granddaughter. “Will you think about what I said?”
“Ah, avoidance. Another area in which you excel.”
“Your son needs you to be a part of this, Remington.”
“Because every child wants the approval of a father,” he said, almost to himself. “You’re not as transparent as you once were, Meyers. You got a thick skin, but you wear that bleeding heart of yours right on your sleeve. Maybe tuck it away for a bit.”
Despite his gruff, sometimes jarring approach, it seemed like he was trying to protect me in some way. From Hale? I couldn’t understand why. I’d never been cynical enough to hide who I was.
Shelving his advice, I turned the conversation back to him. “Please visit them.”
“I’ll consider it if you consider what I’ve said tonight. Do something with yourself, Meyers. Don’t just exist in Hale’s shadow. He’s not going to have an abundance of free time in the coming months. I need someone to step up to the plate and take care of the things I usually depend on him for. I want that person to be you.”
Hale’s shoes were definitely too big for me to fill. “You have Miles.”
He waved a hand. “Miles will do fine on his own. I’m a notch on his resume at this point.”
“But I’m not qualified.”
He huffed. “Christ, don’t make me spell it out. I need someone I can trust.”
“I’ll help out where I can, but I’m not your kicking post, Remington. I may look at you as more than a boss, but I’m not desperate for any man’s approval. Not my dad’s and certainly not yours.”
I left Hale out of the equation because I lacked the foresight to imagine anything as painful as him being disappointed in me.
Calamity Rayne: Gets A Life Page 33
