by G. Bailey
"She is not a whore and never will be,” Seb spits the words out at Kyle, who is unconscious on the floor. I hear the staff calling ambulances and the police in the background, as the room has gone very quiet. I look around to see it’s empty, other than the staff, as everyone must have left.
As I gaze around, my eyes lock onto Luke, the youngest of the brothers, holding the girl, Izzy. She looks scared, but worried, as she watches us all, and she has a bandage on her arm. I just now notice that she has a bandage on her arm. My heart flutters as I think maybe I was wrong, maybe she is Luke's girlfriend. Well, I guess I'm hoping more than anything else.
"You okay?" Harley asks gently and places a hand on my shoulder.
"Yes, but I think you guys need to get out of here. I’ll call myself a cab,” I say and get my phone out of my bag, but it's soon taken from me by an angry Seb.
"No, I’ll take you home." He types into my phone, and I hear a ringing from his phone in his pocket. So I'm guessing he has my number. My heart flutters a little when I realise he must have remembered my password, it’s my birthday.
"It's fine, really," I say, hoping he will just leave it. Going home is going to be bad enough, but if I turn up with Seb, I don’t want to know how crazy my parents will go.
“I'll stay and deal with the police,” Harley says to Seb, who nods.
"We need to talk, so I'm driving," he says to me, avoiding eye contact and walking to the door of the restaurant, expecting me to follow. I look at the still passed-out Kyle on the floor and the brothers before sighing.
"Well, it was nice to see you guys again, and I’m sorry about ruining your birthday, Elliot," I say as I could never forget it’s his and Seb's birthday, even if I wanted to. I was there for every one of them since we met.
Elliot grunts as a response, and I wave as I walk out of the restaurant. Seb is standing next to his car, holding the door open for me. I forget how much I used to love the little things he did for me.
"Thanks," I mutter as I hop into his car and am surrounded by his scent. He smells like sandalwood, and, God, I missed his smell as much as I missed him. I have to remind myself that I hate him right now, but I so wish I didn't and could erase the images of that night from my head. I still don’t believe the crap he came out with about not knowing, the only reason I’m in his stupidly comfy car is the pale look of shock on his face.
Sebastian gets in, then starts driving, and soon it becomes clear we are heading to our lake, not my house. I say nothing–I know we need to talk–but I turn my phone off as I don't need my parents acting crazy and calling to interrupt this long conversation.
The only thought I have is that I'm guessing he is going to tell me he hasn't changed his mind since I told him. Seb was always protective of his family, so I think it must be about me staying away from them. Seb glances at me as he drives, and every time my heart flutters before I remind myself that he is a dickhead and is likely to say something hurtful to me very soon.
He stops the car by the lake and gets out as fast as possible. I go to do the same, and he again opens the car door for me before shutting it behind me and waving a hand for me to walk on. I walk ahead to the fishing pier and sit, hanging my legs over the edge. A dog walker waves at us as he walks past, and Seb sits next to me when I’m distracted. He is close, but not close enough to touch. Which I'm thankful for, because I can't trust my body around him now.
"I don't know where to start, May," he says sadly as he gazes over the lake, the water is still in the dim light as the sun sets.
My heart stops at his use of his nickname for me. I haven't heard him use it in so long it hurts to hear, and I turn away from him to look at some ducks swimming in the lake in the distance.
"What do you want me to do? I didn't get rid of the baby like you asked. I just couldn't, Sebastian.” I don’t look at him as I speak, getting angrier as I talk more. “I’ll stay out of your way and your family’s if that's what you’re worried about.” I look up at his angry eyes as he takes a deep breath, as if he is controlling himself.
"What the fuck are you talking about, May? I haven't heard from you since that day.” He lifts a hand to my face, carefully turning my face so he has my eye contact. “I would never ask you to get rid of my child," he says, willing me to believe him with his strong gaze.
I pull away with an angry frown. “I sent you a text after trying to call you, about a month after I left town, and you messaged me back,” I say carefully, I raise an eyebrow as he looks at me with confusion.
“When I realised I was pregnant, the first thing I did was message you after you didn’t answer my call, and you messaged back telling me to get rid of the baby. You also said to stay away from you, as I didn't mean anything to you anymore," I say, I have to swallow the large lump in my throat as I look away. It’s too much to look at him. I pray for the tears to hold back from my eyes, as I can’t be weak around anyone, especially not Sebastian King.
"I never got any message. You have to trust me, May," he promises, taking my hand, but I pull it away.
"Stop calling me that! How could I ever trust you?" I shout at him before standing up and pacing.
"You didn’t let me explain that night," he says so softly, I’m not sure if he even meant to say it.
His eyes are locked onto mine as I turn to face him. The passion and love in his eyes are too much for me to even look at him, what he is doing to me is tearing apart my resolve. I’m meant to hate the man, loathe him, and not want him to touch me.
"I don't want to talk about it." I lower my eyes to the old, wooden planks of the fishing deck.
"May, if you just let me tell you–" he says gently.
I cut him off by walking the few steps so that I’m standing in front of him.
"No. We don't talk about that night. I don't know if I can trust you about the text, but I will admit you looked shocked.” I stop talking and take a breath before saying the next words, which I may regret. “So if you want to be involved with the baby, you can."
Seb’s whole face lights up with a smile at my words, and I feel my lips pull up into a small smile, too, at the sight of his handsome dimples.
"Yes, I want to be there for you and the baby. I never stopped loving you, May." He looks into my eyes as he says that, and I have to look away over the lake because letting him be involved with his baby is one thing, but our ended relationship is another.
"Don’t say that,” I whisper, and his face falls in defeat as I keep talking. “Look, you can be around for the baby, but as for you and me, I can't hear you say stuff like that. You've hurt me enough, don't you think?"
I look over at him, and I'm shocked to see tears in his eyes as he speaks. "Yes, and that was the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I want to be a dad, and I’ll do anything," he says.
I shake my head and go to sit down on the end of the decking again, and he joins me after I wave a hand. I open my purse and pull out my twenty-week scan photo, and then hand it to him.
Seb’s hands shake as he takes the picture and stares at our baby for a long time as I watch a lot of different emotions flutter across his face.
"When I find out who texted you, they are going to pay for making me miss these months," he says darkly. "Do you know the sex?" He changes the subject quickly and looks at me for an answer.
I clear my throat, feeling a bit emotional at the thought of our baby. I may not have admitted it to myself, but I want this baby to have his dad in his life so much. Every child should get to know their father, even if they are the worst person in the world.
"Yes, it's a boy," I say, smiling at him as he grins back at me.
"Wow, a boy. I’ve always wanted a boy when I thought about our future, they are much easier to handle than a girl." He chuckles, and I choose to ignore his reference to our past.
"I'm six months, and the baby is due at the end of November," I say, so he knows.
"That’s close to Izzy’s birthday," he notes. I don’t comment as I kn
ow that’s the blonde who was there tonight. I’m guessing he knows her well if he knows her birthday. God, what if he is serious about this girl, and I have to put up with a step-mum added to this mess? I shake my head of my feelings, and I remember this is about my baby and not me.
"I have a sizing scan next week. If you want, you could come and see him," I offer.
"I would love that, are you both doing okay?" he asks, looking at my bump now with a mixture of love and awe.
"Yes, we are good. It’s just that the baby is looking a little big, so I'm having more scans to keep an eye on him." I chuckle, rubbing my tummy when I feel him kick my bladder. I’m lucky I didn’t drink much at the restaurant.
"Good. So, are you still living with your parents? I can't imagine they took this well." He frowns at me.
"No, they didn't. They have some rules I have to follow. But I work, and I'm saving up to move. I need to buy a lot of stuff, I guess I won't be moving soon," I mutter the end more to myself as I look over the lake. The sun is nearly set now and the air is getting a little cold.
"I'm going to help. What are the rules?" he asks, pulling my attention back to him.
"Well, you know the guy I was with, Kyle? I have to date him and marry him when the baby is born, or they will kick me out,” I say as tears fall from my eyes, and I don't stop speaking.
"Everything is so fucked up. I get millions when I turn twenty-one, but I can't touch it yet. My parents don't give a crap about me, but I have to think of the baby and go on those stupid dates with that moron." Seb runs a soothing hand down my back, but I pull away again as I can’t have him comforting me.
"You’re not alone anymore, May. I will sort this mess out and help you, I promise you." He pulls my chin gently to face him and scans my face for something.
"I don't need your charity, Sebastian. Kyle may be a moron, but he is reliable. I guess he might make me happy one day. I can't be irresponsible anymore." I flinch a little as Seb moves closer to me, close enough that I can feel his body heat, and it makes me shiver.
"You are fucking kidding me, right? He is a douchebag, May. I know you hate me right now–and I don't blame you–but I'm that baby's dad, and I won't have you living with him." His words are strong and meant to make anyone listen.
"You don't have any say in what I do, Sebastian. Don't you think you have broken me enough?" I shout at him before standing up to calm down. "Take me home," I say, walking away from him.
"No, I'm sorry. I just can't stand the idea, and you don't want him. Not really. Let me help you," he says, following me.
"No, it's bad enough I have to be around you for a long, damn time because I'm carrying your child, but I won't owe you anything. I can't. So take me home, please?" I say over my shoulder.
Seb looks like he wants to say something, but he just moves to follow me as I walk to his car. He unlocks it and helps me in. When he shuts my door, he grabs his hair with both hands and shouts to the empty parking lot before getting into the car.
Around twenty, silent, minutes later, he pulls up my stupid, long drive that's all grey stones and fake brush. Seb is used to it, but we always used to joke around about the lack of colour in the house being reflective of my mother’s lack of personality.
"Thanks for the lift. I’ll message you about next week," I say and go to open the door, but Sebastian grabs my hand.
"I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am, but please, one day, let me explain. I’ve been a mess since you left," he says honestly. I want to feel sorry for him, but I can’t no matter how much I want to deny everything.
"Really, Seb? From what I’ve heard, you have slept with nearly the whole town. Did you fuck that girl after I left, too, now that I was out of your way?" I shout the last part and pull my hand away.
"I'm sorry,” is all he says, and I don't look at him. We don’t talk anymore, the tension is thick in the car.
"Yes, me too, because I trusted you and look where it got me." I open the door and slam it before walking into my house. I hear his car engine as he pulls away, and my anger transforms into worry as I see my mother pacing the entrance hall with a tumbler empty of whatever she was drinking.
"Where have you been? Is that Sebastian's car, you stupid girl?” she whines as I shut the door behind me with a bang. “Kyle called and said you left without him, but he didn't say anything else! Lucky for you, we have made plans for you to go out next Saturday together." I can’t believe what she is saying as she mutters on, still extremely loud and annoying.
"Yes, we ran into him at the restaurant, and he wants to be involved with my baby," I tell her, hoping she will look relieved; if anything, she looks madder.
"That can't happen. You won't see that boy again!" she shouts at me. My mother moves closer and grabs my chin roughly in her hand to make me look at her. Her fake nails are digging into my skin, making me wince as I try to move away.
"You will stay away from that boy. He is no good, and Kyle will make you happy. If you see him again, I will chuck you out of this house and disown you for good," she shouts into my face, the disgusting smell of smoke and vodka overwhelming me.
"He is the father, I can't."
She slaps me hard across the face, and I stumble back a little. I can't believe my mother just did that, she hasn't hit me since she found out I was pregnant. Tears form in my eyes, but I hold them back.
"I won't see him again, I'm sorry," I say, shaking a little. It’s not that I’m afraid of her, but I can’t help my body’s reaction to being hurt.
"You’d best not," she says curtly and walks away.
Shaking off the terrible evening, I head to the kitchen, grab a Pot Noodle out of the cupboard, and pop it into the microwave while I make myself a glass of orange juice. I've been crazy about Pot Noodles for months, and iced tea, too. I’ve come to the conclusion that pregnancy cravings are weird, mainly when I crave those things at the same time.
I eat in the kitchen quietly before cleaning up and going to my room. I don’t see my parents, but that’s not unusual. They both have separate bedrooms on different sides of the house, and my father hasn’t looked at me since I told them I was pregnant.
I look at myself in the mirror and see the massive, red mark on my face. Damn, that's going to bruise, and I have no money for makeup. I just have to leave it and leave my long, black hair down to cover it. I brush my hair, looking at my bright, brown eyes and sigh at the fact they remind me of my mother. Everything else about me looks like my father, the thick, pitch-black hair and round face. I even have his slightly small nose, which most people say is cute, but I say it’s not.
I grab my PJ’s and have a shower before dressing in them, I feel a little better now, but the stress of the night is quickly catching up to me.
I hop into bed knowing it’s only nine at night, but I'm exhausted. I check my phone to set my alarm and see a message.
Unknown: I'm sorry again, but to answer your question in the car. No, I never did anything more than what you saw. X
Me: No more talking about that. My appointment is Tuesday at two P.M. Can I pick you up?
‘Baby Daddy’ is what I decide to name Seb in my phone. A reminder to me about why I’m near him again, and he isn’t going to be anything else to me. I can’t risk it even I wanted to, it wouldn’t be fair for my child to have him witness such a bad relationship between his parents.
Baby Daddy: fine, but we will talk soon. That's great and I could pick you up instead? X
Me: I'm working till 1.30. You could pick me up from work then if you want, as it’s only twenty minutes away and I could use the rest after a long shift.
Him: yes I can do that, send me the name and if possible the address. I'm glad I saw you today. X
Me: Sure. I will and I guess I am too in some ways.
Him: I miss you May x
Me: please don't say that.
He doesn't reply, not that I expect him to, and I drift off into a restless sleep filled with thoughts of Sebastia
n King.
32
Sebastian
"Who's that?" I ask my twin brother, Elliot, while looking at the new girl chatting to a girl named Allie. She has her long, shiny black hair in a ponytail, and she is very pretty. I've just started noticing how pretty girls are, but I've never seen any girl who looks like she does.
"Who?" he asks, still staring at Allie. I bet he hasn't even noticed the new girl, but that’s a good thing because I saw her first.
It was our thirteenth birthday yesterday, but I don't want to think about it. My ribs are stinging from the beating Dad gave us both. Luckily Harley, our eldest brother, came home drunk, and Dad gave up on us to beat him more. I know Harley did that to save me and Elliot, but I can't help but wish he didn't. I saw him this morning covered in bruises and I felt guilty, but he just gave me the new Gameboy I wanted and a birthday card. Harley hugged me and then went to find Elliot. He gave me the only present I had this year, and I won’t forget it.
"The new girl," I say, pointing at her, and he finally looks.
"Oh, I heard her name is Maisy; just moved here," he replies, kicking a small rock on the ground.
"I'm going to say hello. You coming, bro?" I ask, and he frowns at me.
"No, I have a thing to do." He avoids my knowing smirk as he walks off. I know it's because Allie is there, and he gets all nervous around her. I walk over, getting nervous myself, when the girl with shiny, black hair turns her pretty, brown eyes toward me.
"Hi, I'm Sebastian." I smile.
Her cheeks go red when she replies. "I'm May, Ma, May, no Maisy, sorry," she stutters, then looks down with her cheeks all red, and I glance at Allie who is holding back a giggle.
"Well, nice to meet you, May, I like your name." I wink at her as she looks up, and I lean back, putting my hands into my jean pockets.
"It's Maisy, not May." She smiles back at me.
"I like May, it can be my nickname for you. Do you want to have lunch with me?" I ask, blushing myself now that I’m under her gaze. I struggle to look away from her pretty, brown eyes as they twinkle in mischief at me.
