by G. Bailey
“Why did you stop?” she asks.
“I can’t take this farther, not yet. Remember, no promises.” I tell her, making her frown because she can’t understand.
“No promises . . . but can’t we just–” She sighs, pushing her body into mine, and it takes a hell of a lot of willpower to resist her. I shake my head, gently kissing her again.
“Is it because I’m pregnant? Does that freak you out?” she asks, and I laugh.
“Not at all. This isn’t because I don’t want you, because I do,” I say, knowing she can feel how turned on I am.
“I promised myself no serious relationships until The Cage is behind me. I can’t be with you and risk my life there. I want to be honest with you. I’m no good for a girl like you,” I tell her, watching as her face goes from sad to angry.
“That’s a load of bullshit. You can’t choose whether I like you or not. You can’t time falling for someone,” she says.
“It’s not. You need a family man, someone better than me. I won’t drag you down to my level, Tilly, but I will protect you,” I tell her firmly.
“So you will keep me safe but won’t be with me?” she asks, and I nod.
I slide off the bed, only looking back once at Tilly, wishing things were fucking different. The big fight is coming up soon, and I doubt I’m going to survive it anyway. I’m going to make sure she is protected, that my whole family is. I won’t let her fall for me only to have her heart broken.
“This is a mistake, Harley,” she says gently, before rolling over in bed and facing away from me.
It is a mistake, a mistake because I’ve already fallen for her.
96
Harley
Two months later…
“Congratulations, Tilly. She is so beautiful,” Izzy says as she looks down at my little girl in my arms. The midwives just finished cleaning me up after I gave birth, and I can’t look away from her. She looks like my mum, with her red hair and bright-blue eyes. She doesn’t look like him, for which I’m thankful. I finally get what the books say about that instant love you feel when you look at your child, that bond. It feels like my heart is going to burst with love as I stare down at her, knowing I would do anything to keep her safe. I don’t regret a single moment of my life, not anymore, because I would have never have gotten here. I lean down and kiss her forehead, loving the new baby smell she has. I swear nothing smells as lovely as she does in this moment.
“Thank you, she is,” I reply, watching as she yawns. Every movement she makes is cute. There is no other way to describe her.
“You need to call your parents, they should know, and your brothers, too. They love you, Tilly,” Izzy says gently, and I look over at her. I know she means well, but the idea of having anyone from France near my child right now is making me paranoid.
“The moment I tell them, he will find me. I’ve spoken to them twice in the last two months, and they know we ended badly. They promised not to tell anyone where I am, but I know he is still friends with Devon,” I say, thinking of my brother and how I wish I could talk to him. I glance at the fox tattoo on my wrist, knowing things are not going to get better overnight like I want them to.
“He won’t ever go near you; he would have to go through me first,” Harley says, coming into the room, looking tired but relieved all at the same time.
After our kisses all those months ago, we have become closer friends, and he has never been anything else to me. He takes me out on dates and meals all the time. He buys me baby things and makes me food when I am too tired to cook. But we never talk about us. I almost hate that he seems to have forgotten those kisses when it’s all I can think about.
Harley is dressed far more casually than I’m used to seeing him, with just jeans and a grey jumper on. His hair is bundled at the back of his head, and he gives me a happy look.
“You can’t promise that, Harley,” I respond as he comes in and sits in the chair by the bed. He looks over at my daughter and then up to me.
“I can,” he tells me gently.
Harley waited outside throughout the whole labour, and Izzy was holding my hand throughout it in here. The labour was short, thank God, but painful. Harley wanted to come in, but I think I just needed it to be Izzy and me. I was already sad my mother couldn’t be here, and Izzy is the only thing close to family I have here. I was surprised Harley didn’t mind, he told me to do whatever made me happy and that he would be nearby. Then he kissed my forehead as a long contraction came on, and the midwives took me into the birthing unit.
“Have you thought of a name?” Izzy asks, and I shake my head.
“I couldn’t decide on one, so not yet,” I respond, and then someone knocks at the door. Izzy gets up and goes to open it slightly before I can hear Allie.
“Can I come in?” she asks.
“Yes,” I reply back.
I’ve gotten closer to Allie in the last few months and consider her a good friend. I can see why Izzy and Maisy love her so much.
“Maisy wanted to come, but she isn’t getting much sleep with the baby kicking her, so I told her to rest,” Allie tells me.
Maisy only has a month left until they meet their own baby girl. I still remember Sebastian’s shocked face when he came back from the scan with Maisy. Saying Sebastian was shocked might have been an understatement, and I kind of wanted that same feeling for myself, which is why I never found out the sex of my baby during my scans.
“That’s okay,” I say, watching as Allie walks over and looks down at my baby.
“She’s a real beauty, with that red hair and button nose,” she says gently, and I nod, looking at her.
“Thank you, she is.”
“Why don’t we go get some drinks and food? I need to call Blake to let him know we can’t go on that secret trip he planned,” Izzy says.
“Another secret trip?” I ask, knowing he has taken her on three now.
“Yes, something always seems to go wrong on each trip. The first time we went on a boat and it was lovely with lights and everything. Then the boat engine caught caught fire and we had to get off the boat.
“The second date was the beach. Again lovely, but halfway through the date, it started to pour down with rain, and then lightning hit a nearby tree, setting it on fire.
“And the third secret date, we didn’t even get to because the car broke down on the way there.”
“So unlucky,” I say, watching as Harley is grinning at the floor and trying not to laugh.
“I don’t get why he keeps planning all these things, I’m happy with a normal meal.” Izzy laughs. “But it is sweet.”
Allie kisses my cheek before leaving with Izzy, and Harley stands up.
“Can I hold her?” he asks, and I lift my arms a little so Harley can pick her up off me. Seeing him holding my little girl is beyond cute, even more so when he starts rocking her gently.
“She looks like you,” he says.
“That’s a good thing,” I respond, and his green eyes stare down at me.
“I’m proud of you, doing all this alone. You’re so strong,” he tells me.
“I’m not alone, you’re here. I know I will be in the future, but for now, I really appreciate all your help,” I say, and Harley goes to respond when the baby wakes up with a small cry. Harley hands her back to me after placing a kiss on her forehead.
“I’m not going anywhere, not now or ever. Not unless you ask me to, Tilly,” he says, but I know he can’t promise me that. He hasn’t won the fight yet, and he won’t even tell me when it is. All Harley has done is train and work out, getting ready for this fight. His arms are so muscular, bigger than before, and every part of him looks prepared for a fight now.
“Do you need anything?” he asks, and I shake my head, pulling my eyes away from him.
“No. I have a bottle ready and everything in that bag you brought in.” I nod my head toward the bag sitting on a chair in the room.
I know breastfeeding is better for the baby, but
I want to bottle feed. I know it’s my choice in the end, and it’s something I feel more comfortable with. I spoke a lot to the midwives about it, and they said that some women choose the same as I have.
“Will you let me feed her? Only if you want,” he says, almost stumbling a little on his words as he looks nervous. I nod, watching as he opens one of the pre-made bottles and puts a feeding top on it. Harley comes and takes my daughter from me and starts feeding her in his arms as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“Why are you here? With me? I don’t know many men who would want to help their roommate with their first baby, and you’ve made it clear that’s all I can be to you,” I say, ignoring the sharp shot of pain I feel at even saying those words. I know my hormones are likely making me a little emotional at the moment, but I’m trying to be normal.
“I’m not going anywhere, I’m here for you. I know she isn’t mine, but I want you to know that I’m here,” he tells me gently.
“Is it because of our kisses? I don’t want you to think you owe me anything. I get that you don’t want to be with me, but please don’t help me out of guilt. I plan to move out as soon as I can–”
“Stop,” he tells me, shifting on the bed so he can look at me, his eyes daring me to look away. “All I’ve wanted since our last kiss is to kiss you again. Every damn time I look at you. I haven’t stopped thinking about it, about you. I don’t want you to move out, but there is a month until my last fight.”
“When is the fight exactly? The date?” I ask, wondering if I can get him to tell me now, but at least I know it’s in a month, which isn’t long at all. Izzy said it was weird none of them had been fighting in the last few months. She said none of them would talk about it, and that’s suspicious enough. This fight must be something else.
“One last fight, and my family will be free. I just need to win it,” Harley says, but it is so quiet I’m sure he’s just talking to himself and not to me.
“Is that why you’re always working out?” I ask him.
“Maybe I just like to work out,” he suggests, but he doesn’t look at me as he says it.
“Who is this fight against?” I ask him.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says.
“Why doesn’t it? You told me you have never lost a fight, so you won’t lose this one,” I say, hope filling me that he may finally be free of his past. That he may eventually have a future.
“I might,” he says, the words causing me to go silent as I look at him, staring down at my daughter in his arms.
“No,” I reply quietly, and Harley doesn’t say a word.
97
Harley
“Why don’t you go and take her into the lounge, and I will get the bags?” I tell Tilly, who looks up at me with tired eyes.
I’m glad she is finally out of the hospital and is home again. The new baby has been struggling to sleep with the noise of the hospital ward, and I’ve been by her side, trying to help. She still hasn’t chosen a name for the beautiful baby she is holding, but we have all taken to calling her ‘baby girl’ for now. I know it’s difficult with a new baby, just from helping Maisy and Sebastian with Jake.
“Okay.” She nods, walking off, and I open the door to go and get her maternity bags out of the car.
I stop in my tracks when I see a man and an older woman standing at the door. The man is a little younger than me, with dark-brown hair and a serious expression. The woman has long, red hair up in a ponytail, and she must be in her late forties as her roots are going grey. When she looks up at me, I know who she is straight away from her eyes.
“You’re Tilly’s mum?” I ask, and she nods, putting her hands on her hips.
“Where is my bloody runaway daughter?” she asks.
“Tilly!” the man shouts, looking like he wants to try to push me out of the way, but that’s not happening until I know who he is. If this is Tilly’s ex, I’m going to kill him for turning up here, and I’m sure he can tell my thoughts from the strange expression he gives me.
“Devon?” I hear Tilly ask from behind me.
I move slightly so Devon can walk into the house, and he hugs Tilly. I look behind her to see the lounge door open, and I know Tilly must have put the baby in the Moses basket for a nap.
“Don’t you dare run off on us like that again. It took me ages to find you, sis,” he says, and she moves away. I watch as Tilly and her mum stare at each other for a long time before Tilly walks over and hugs her mum.
“I don’t believe a word you said over the phone, not a word, Matilda,” she scolds her daughter, and I finally learn her real name.
“Don’t call me that. Jesus, it’s Tilly,” Tilly says, rolling her eyes and making her brother laugh.
“We need to talk, and you have some explaining to do,” her mother says, and Tilly sighs. I walk over, placing my arm on her shoulder. She doesn’t stop me.
“I’m Harley King.” I offer a hand to Tilly’s mum, who shakes it firmly.
“Linda Fox.”
“I’m Devon Fox. Are you dating my sister?” Devon asks, walking over.
Something about his name sounds familiar. I remember Izzy telling me she dated one of Tilly’s brothers before we met her.
“Yes, and I believe you dated my sister, Izzy? I remember her saying your name,” I reply as we shake hands.
“You’re one of the new brothers,” Devon comments, but I doubt he wants an answer as a baby’s cry fills the room.
Tilly moves away from me and walks into the lounge. We all follow, watching her walk over to the baby, who is in the Moses basket.
“Whose baby is that?” Devon asks, stopping by the door in shock, and their mum is just standing, staring at Tilly, who rocks her baby gently. I’m pretty sure the red hair and the way Tilly holds her baby are all the answer he needs, but they both seem to stay quiet, waiting for Tilly to actually say the words.
“My baby,” Tilly says quietly, and Linda makes a small, sobbing sound.
She walks over and stands next to Tilly, looking down at the baby. I watch as she lifts a shaky hand and touches the side of the baby’s face gently. Linda reaches into her pocket, pulling out a tissue and wiping her face.
“Is the baby Daniel’s? I mean, he should know!” Devon says, and a look of panic fills Tilly’s face as she glances at me. I can actually see her thinking about running away already, and I can’t let her do that. I won’t let her leave.
“The baby girl is mine,” I say and walk over to Tilly, wrapping an arm around her waist as she tries to hide the shock she is clearly feeling.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry I didn’t, but I would appreciate it if you don’t tell my ex about where I am. It would only upset him, Devon,” she says, and Devon nods, looking between us.
I don’t know if he believes what we are telling him, but something seems to change as he looks at me. I stand firm as we stare at each other, wondering if he is going to attempt to punch me, or do something else stupid.
“Fine. He is still not over you, but as long as you’re happy,” Devon eventually says, and some part of me is furious that he is sticking up for that asshole. But I know he doesn’t know what Daniel is really like; what he tried to do to his sister.
“I am.”
“Well, I want to hold my niece then, what’s her name?” Devon asks, but Linda doesn’t say a word as she stares at me for a long time. Her stare seems to be figuring something out, and I doubt she is as quick to believe our story as Devon is. I’m just wondering if she is going to say something now, or later.
“Can I have a moment alone with my daughter?” Linda asks, and Tilly nods. Devon takes the baby from Tilly, and I lead him out of the room, shutting the door behind us.
“Fair warning, I promise to shove your head up your arse if you hurt her,” Devon says, his voice low as he speaks so he doesn’t upset the baby, but the protectiveness makes me like him already.
“Funny, I said the same thin
g to the guy dating Izzy now,” I say, and he chuckles.
“She happy?” he asks me just as the door opens.
Izzy and Blake walk in, and Izzy stops in her tracks when she sees Devon.
“I wondered when you lot would turn up,” Izzy says, and Devon laughs.
Blake doesn’t look happy as Devon walks over and slides an arm around Izzy's waist, giving her a side hug.
“Blake, this is Devon, one of Tilly’s brothers,” Izzy introduces them, and Blake just nods.
“Nice to meet you. Izzy, you could have called to let us know about, well . . .” He looks down at the sleeping baby in his arms.
“It wasn’t my secret to tell, Dev,” she replies.
“It’s still a big one. Dad is going to go mad when he finds out. So will Ace and Grayson,” he comments, and I guess they must be Tilly’s other brothers.
“How is Grayson? I heard he got married and had a kid,” Izzy asks.
“Yep and divorced. He has full custody of my nephew now and is moving here soon,” he says. It looks like the Foxes are moving into town. I hope they realise how much of a fucked-up town this place is. They may regret moving here after all.
“And Ace? Is he, what . . . fifteen now?” she asks.
“Yeah, and an asshole,” Devon replies, making Izzy laugh.
“He was always like that, even as a kid,” Izzy replies.
The baby starts crying lightly, and I hold my hands out, watching as Devon slides her into my arms. I head to the kitchen to sort out a bottle, while the others follow.
“Isn’t it weird that we now share a niece?” Devon comments.
“My daughter is lovely, isn’t she?” I say to Blake and Izzy, who give me wide-eyed, confused looks. Thank god they quickly realise and blank their expressions.
“Yes, lovely,” Izzy says, and Blake shakes his head with a small smirk.
“I would stay, but the moving vans are coming today and I can’t leave Ace to sort the stuff out by himself. I doubt he will even answer the damn door,” Devon comments.
