“Sorry. I must have the wrong person.” I turned away from him and took a step closer to the edge.
“If you jump, don’t forget about the side of the cliff that cut your leg.”
I spun around to face him once again. If he doesn’t remember anything from our time, how did he know about the time when we jumped, and my leg caught on the jagged rock. It didn’t hurt or really even bleed when we were caught up in our world, but we’d both seen the large mark where there would’ve been a huge gash if we were in the real world. “You do remember!” He had to after that last comment.
“I just said don’t get hurt jumping; that’s what happened to me.” Max tried to play it off like he never said anything about us being here together. “Bye.” He started back onto the trail towards the exit.
“Wait.” This time, my feet moved quicker than my head. I sprinted the short distance over to the trail and grabbed ahold of his arm. If I would’ve thought this through, I would still be back there on the edge watching him leave. But, this time, I acted on impulse as my heart led the way.
My thoughts went back into a memory that showed us on the cliff, laughing and playing around with each other. Max took my hand and led me over to the edge. He brushed back my hair out of my eyes and kissed me lightly on the lips. One more smile and one more kiss on my hand that he was holding tightly to, then we jumped together.
The vision broke when I jerked away, or he did. “I know you saw it.” I could tell by his expression and the emotions that I felt rolling off of him that he’d witnessed the whole scene that I did.
“It’s over, Mara. Just go home.”
My heart broke into another million pieces. Max telling me to leave was not the happily ever after I’d been searching. “Why?” I went to reach for him again, but Max quickly moved just out of my grasp.
“Whatever happened there, stayed there. Nothing that I felt there came back with me. When you showed up yesterday, it wasn’t by accident was it?”
My hand wiped my eyes that had tears forming, this time, I couldn’t blame it on the allergies. “No.” I gave him a simple answer to his question. It was like I couldn’t lie to him if I tried. I knew he would see right through me and knew if I was deceitful. “I-I just—I don’t know, Max. I had to know if this was all real. I-I asked about you and yes, I should’ve just walked away, but I had to see you. Damn it, why can’t I let you go?” Now, I was more frustrated than I was upset.
“There’s nothing left to let go. I don’t know why we were put together in that place, but we’re here in the real world now. You don’t even know me.”
Why did it seem like Max was putting on some show to push me away? If he could see the images that I’d seen, he had to feel the feelings that we have, or had, or whatever it is that we feel for one another. “I know that I gave everything to you, no one can ever take your place in my life or my heart, Max.” This time, when I reached my hand to touch him, he didn’t move away.
No images flashed this time. All I felt was the softness of his skin and the way that he trembled as my hand slowly caressed his arm. He closed his eyes, as did I, and let the gentleness of the moment take control. I felt our bodies coming closer together and his warm breath on my skin. The time that I’d been waiting for since I’d woken up, a real life kiss with him, was about to happen.
“Are you okay.”
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned round. A beautiful girl was standing behind me. She looked to be about mine and Max’s age. She had long, dark brown hair, and beautiful dark green eyes. With her looks and great body, she resembled a fashion model.
“Yeah, I’m okay. I was just talking to,” I turned back around towards Max, but he wasn’t there anymore. I did a circle to see if maybe he’d walked off when this girl came, but there was no sign of him anywhere. “I was just looking at the water.”
The girl walked closer to the cliff and leaned over. I thought for sure she was going to fall over, but she stood back upright and moved further back. “Yeah, it’s a great place to visit. Just be careful, this is a steep cliff.”
“Have you ever jumped from here?” I had done it so many times with Max that I didn’t even see the danger in it anymore.
A sad look crossed her face, and she nodded her head. “It was awhile ago. We were all acting stupid, and my fiancé got hurt when he jumped.”
“Really. That’s horrible.” I took another step away. It seemed more than one person had gotten hurt here. Max did, and this poor girl’s fiancé also did.
She laughed wholeheartedly, but it still sounded so sad. “Yeah, everyone dared Max to jump without looking. So he took the dare, and then he slipped, fell, and tumbled over the cliff.”
Wait—wait—wait. Back that up a minute. Are we talking about the same Max? “Do you mean Max Carter?”
She slowly nodded her head. “Do you know him?” It seemed her full attention was back on me, now that I seemed to know who she was referencing.
“I—um…” How was I going to explain all of this? And to top it all off, Max disappears as soon as his fiancé shows up? Maybe they’re having a dispute or something. “We met at the hospital.”
“Really. Were you volunteering?”
What was with people and me volunteering? His brother had asked the same thing. I guess I would have to use the most logical answer like I did before. “Yes.”
“Oh, that’s sweet of you. I’m sure Max appreciated the help and company.”
“He seems to be doing well.”
“How have you been able to see him since he came home?”
Okay, how was I going to tell this girl that he’s here, and we just spent some time together? “Well, what I meant was is he doing well?” Oh, nice cover up, Mara. I just hope she buys it.
“Oh.” She still looked a little distraught, but I think she was buying into what I said. “He has his good days and bad days. I just wish things were as they were before, but I guess they never will be.”
I felt sad for her, but she shouldn’t give up hope on him being able to walk better. I’m sure with some physical therapy he will get stronger. ‘What the hell is wrong with you, Mara. You shouldn’t feel sorry for her. She’s competition and by the looks of it in a big way, she’s his supposed fiancé.’ I’m glad she didn’t witness anything between him and I before he like totally disappeared. I couldn’t wait to see him again so that I could find out about this whole damn thing about his engagement.
“I better get going. It was nice to talk to you…”
It seemed she was waiting for me to give her my name. “Mara.”
“I’m Katie. Bye, Mara.” Max’s girlfriend waved then turned and walked back down the trail heading back towards the parking lot.
After she had got around the last bend and I couldn’t see her anymore, I called for Max. I told him it was okay to come out from wherever he was hiding. I waited a couple of minutes, but he never showed. Maybe he got too paranoid about her being here? Or maybe he was ashamed that he never told me about her? Or maybe he just got tired of waiting? I lifted my hand just in case he was watching. “Take care, Max.” I kept my emotions in check as I walked back to the cliff. I knew I had to control what I was feeling inside. I felt sadness, betrayal, and confusion. I fell to my knees and sobbed for someone and something that I probably would never have again.
* * *
I sat on the edge of the cliff. So many times, I wanted to jump and end it all, but after two hours of crying, hoping, and praying that he would come back, I finally made my way back to my car. I was in a daze and couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness, but I made it back to the hotel. I was going to start my drive back home tonight, but I was so exhausted from this emotional rollercoaster that I’d been on for two days, I didn’t think I would make it back safely.
I opened up the hotel room door and let it quietly close behind me. I tossed my car keys on the table and collapsed face first onto the bed. I don’t think I could cry another tear if I wanted to. I was
completely out of any more emotions. My head hurt, my eyes felt swollen, and my body ached from crying and being destroyed by one single goodbye. I pulled down the large comforter and crawled underneath, so I could hide away from the world.
* * *
The clock on the nightstand read two-ten in the AM. I had slept for eight hours but felt like I could use about ten more. I had no energy, no will, and no desire to do anything except lie in this bed and wilt away.
I should’ve known that someone like Max would only be someone I could have in my head. Of course, he had to belong to another, someone like him only comes around once in a lifetime. My time with him just happened to be out of this lifetime and in some other world, time, or whatever the hell it was.
The sound of people laughing and enjoying themselves in the next room prohibited me from going back to sleep anytime soon. I grabbed the cold soda that was in the mini-fridge and turned the TV on to see what could occupy my time. Just my luck, the prime channels looked as though they were all running some romance marathons with happy, sappy, starry-eyed lovers to torture those of us in misery. Guess it was going to be the news channel for the rest of the night.
Two hours later and replications of the same news stories over and over again, to the point that I could repeat them verbatim, the next door couple finally got quiet enough that I could lay back down without being disturbed. I kept the TV on for noise and to occupy my mind as I went back to sleep so that Max wouldn’t invade my every thought. I felt myself drifting off to never-never land with him being my last thought of the night.
* * *
The sun poking its brightness through the open blinds alerted me that it was now daytime and time to get going back home. I dragged my sorry ass out of the bed and shuffled to the bathroom for a shower to wake myself up.
Thirty minutes and gallons of tears later, I was packed and ready to leave Becket and everything that it held…behind. I complimented the front desk person on my lovely stay, minus the loud next door couple last night, that I didn’t mention. I could see the interstate from the hotel parking and the traffic looked relatively sparse. Maybe I would be able to get back in a reasonable time, like before mom got back from work, and then be able to hide out in my room. I would pretend that the travels had tired me. I didn’t want to have to make up another lie about me attending some college exploration.
I drove past the quarry on my way out of town and had to fight every impulse of wanting to turn down that road and take one more quick glimpse. Thirty seconds later, I looked in my rearview mirror and silently waved goodbye to all the memories this place held of Max and I.
Chapter Twelve
It had been one month since I’d gone to the stone quarry. Max still haunted my every thought. Maybe I was obsessed with him. Maybe I should’ve moved on with my life like he did his. I had applied to and got accepted into our local college. Mom questioned me why I didn’t want to go to school with Ashley, which was a larger school that was two hours away, but I didn’t feel like that was a wise choice for me right now. If it were up to me, I would go to the school near Becket. I hadn’t told my parents yet, but I did apply to the Massachusetts College, which was about thirty miles outside of Becket. I could probably benefit from the good Psychology program they offered. I just had this pull to that town…gee wonder why? I hadn’t heard back from them yet, so for now, I was taking basic courses here in town.
* * *
Here it was another Friday at home. I hadn’t done much of anything lately. Most of my time was spent in my room trying to figure out that hell was going on in my life, well that and thinking of Max. A knock came at my door; I yelled to mom that it was open. I knew it was her because dad was at work; Ashley was off at college, and there was no one else who would just come up to my room without being invited to do so.
“I was just checking to see what you were doing?” Mom came in and seemed to be inspecting my room. Maybe she was looking for drugs or guys that would be hidden under my bed or behind the long curtains.
“Nothing much.” I sat on my bed with my back up against the headboard and legs stretched out. “Why what’s up?” I knew mom wanted something other than just to check up on me. She hadn’t done that since I was in middle school.
“Your father and I were going to dinner and movie tomorrow. We just wanted to know if you would like to go along with us, you know like we used to when you were younger.”
I couldn’t imagine going out for an evening on the town with my parents at this age. We used to have or weekly get-togethers when I was little, but that all ceased once I’d started high school. I don’t know maybe the idea of going along and watching my parents get all lovey-dovey with each other was nauseating. “Nah, I’ll have to pass this time.”
Mom seemed a bit elated that I wouldn’t be accompanying them on their evening out. “Well, okay dear. If you change your mind let me know, so I can change the dinner reservation from two to three and order another movie ticket.”
“I will, but I doubt it if I’ll go. You and dad have fun. I’ll be okay here.” I mentally waved my hand for her to start heading out of my room. It wasn’t that she was bothering me, I just would rather be alone.
“Okay. Maybe invite one of your old classmates over?” Mom walked over and looked at the new set of books that I’d gotten from Ashley. She loved to order them from Amazon and send them to me once she’d read them all. “This one looks interesting.” She held up the book ‘Lone Wolf Rising by Jami Brumfield.
That was the first one that I’d read when I’d gotten Ashley’s package. It was a paranormal romance that involved shifters. I loved the writing style and also the fact that it took me away from my ordinary everyday life. “You can take it to read if you want. I already finished it.”
“I think I will. I have a bit of time before your father gets back. Thank you.” Mom took the book with her as she walked out of my room.
* * *
“I can’t. I have too much going on right now.”
It was after dinner; mom had already read the book she’d taken earlier and confiscated another out of my box full. I was talking to Ashley, or better yet Ashley was trying to convince me to come to one of the many college parties that had been going on at her school. Just like high school, there seemed to be a new one popping up every weekend that she somehow always got herself invited. I think Ashley was having more mental issues than I was. Doesn’t she remember the last party we both went to together? I ended up in a coma. The little devil inside of me whispered that was a good thing; that was when I got to be with Max. I tried to shrug off that thought, but somehow he prevailed. “Okay. I’ll see what I can do.” I held the phone away from my ear as Ashley screamed out with joy.
Since the party was the next night, it didn’t leave me too much time to make up my mind. To go or not to go…that was today’s dilemma. I wanted to because I hadn’t seen Ashley for a while, but then part of me panicked when I thought about the whole party scene and what happened the last time. I knew Van had gone to the same school as her, and the likelihood of running into him was high…was I ready to face all my demons just yet?
“Mara.” I heard mom’s voice calling to me down the hallway. I went out to the kitchen where she was sitting with a pile of today’s mail. She waved a big brown envelope my direction. “I think this is for you.”
I took the large packet and glanced at the sender. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was the college by Becket and it seemed to have a lot of papers inside of it. That could be an excellent thing; it might mean that I got accepted. If they were going to deny me, they wouldn’t waste all this paper and postage to say no, right? I tore off the taped end and read the top portion of the acceptance letter.
“So, what is it?” Mom stopped reading her mail.
I put down the paper I’d been staring at for the past minute or so. “I got accepted.” I felt more shocked and overwhelmed than excited.
“Where? The university that Ashley is going t
o?” Mom had her mindset on me going there. I had no clue why, but it seemed she had a liking for me going to a place I’d never even applied.
“No, Massachusetts College. I applied for their psych program.” Okay, mom’s smile just got turned upside down. One…two…three. I waited for the big ‘why.’
“Why?”
See? I was only off by a second or so, but I knew that was going to be her first response. “I just liked the campus and the programs that they offered.”
“How did you see the school?”
Oh shit, she didn’t know about my trip to Becket. “I saw it online, and it looked lovely.” Thank God for internet and colleges offering glimpses into the student lifestyle sections.
Mom still looked as though she didn’t believe me, but nodded her head in response to the answer that I’d given her. “I think you should visit the campus before you make any decisions about going that far away from home.” She stood up and put her coffee cup in the sink. “I will check and see if I can get any time off from the office. We can make it a girl’s trip for a day or two.”
I smiled at her suggestion but knew I’d rather do this again, on my own. “Okay, sounds good.”
Mom patted my shoulder on her way out.
Now, I had to get back to deciding if I should attend Ashley's party because of this great news.
* * *
“I can’t believe you’re here. We've been apart for way too long.” Ashley practically jumped into my arms when I pulled up to her sorority house.
“I just saw you a few months ago.” I hugged her back and looked around the campus. She’d came to visit after I’d gotten out of the hospital and was on the list of welcomed visitors. That whole ‘let’s wait on people visiting’ was all my mom. She was paranoid that I would say something about Max and people would talk that the accident had messed with my mind.
Somewhere In-Between (Breathless #1) Page 8
