by Dylan Quinn
"There’s a reason you can’t be privy to all the secrets of this life. This must be a decision based on your soul. No logic can go into choosing love."
Her eyes narrowed, and her irritation returned.
"Well in case you've missed the past millennium, people today don't just fall in love overnight. Life's not a Disney movie."
She pulled away, and I let her go.
Zoe was right. Unions in modern times were complicated. Raz said there were many variables humans took into account when choosing a mate, and Zoe, although the same soul, had different experiences during each incarnation. I couldn’t force her to love me or to choose our life together, as much as I wanted to.
Each of her lives was a lesson for me as well—in relinquishing control. All I could do was trust in her heart and our love. Trust her soul would return to me.
"Humanity is about choice. I would never force you to love me. And I would never choose my happiness over yours, but yes. I am hoping your heart will choose me."
Her breathing slowed, and her lips parted slightly, just enough to send my heart racing.
My Gemini mark began to pulsate. To burn.
I needed to kiss her.
She needed to kiss me.
After thousands of years loving Zoe, I could read her body as if it were my own.
Searching for what Raz called her tells, I first regarded her eyes. They were always the most expressive. They danced between mine, and my mouth. Her breaths became shallow. A pink flush spread across her cheeks as she inched toward me, shifting nervously between her feet.
Should I try? Part of me was unsure, but my body betrayed my wits.
I’d waited twenty-one years for this moment.
I could wait no longer.
I moved toward her, inhaled her sweet scent, and rid the space between us.
Her eyes grew wider, and her lips parted. Waiting. I could hear her heart pulsing rapidly within her.
Her body gave her answer.
"My greatest desire is for you to find happiness." I stepped closer, picked up a long strand of her dark locks and tucked it behind her ear. Running my fingers along her jaw, I whispered across her cheek.
"You have no memory of a life before this."
I gently grasped her chin, stroked her bottom lip with my thumb, and edged toward her.
"But I've seen our life together."
I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer, our lips now fractions apart.
Her eyes never left mine, and her body trembled in my arms.
"And I will always. Choose us."
Her breath breezed across my cheek as I pressed my lips to hers. Soft. Gentle. Trembling beneath mine. The tingling sensation I’d missed so much returned, running rampant throughout my body.
I pulled back, not more than a centimeter, to gauge her response.
Her eyes remained closed, lips parted. Waiting for my return.
I brushed a kiss gently, then deeper into her.
She allowed me to explore her soft lips. They parted further still, and I edged my way in, exploring her sweet mouth.
An intense force rushed through my veins, to my chest and arms. Her life force burned within every muscle. My body that longed for her was now alive from her touch.
Zoe fell into my embrace, letting go of all the tension she'd been holding. She enfolded her arms around my neck, pressed her chest against mine, and gently tugged at my hair. Her hands ran down my cheeks, then to my shoulders and waist.
She pressed her kiss deeper into mine, soft at first, then fervently, as if this was our last.
One block at a time, her wall was crumbling—the pain replaced with a longing for our love. Soon, her memories would resurface, and I would have my Chayah back. Our souls Converged as one.
Zoe broke our kiss, pulled back and gulped a breath of air. She opened her eyes, her body still quaking in my arms. A minute passed. Her gaze drifted up, and a single tear slid down her cheek.
"It's you," she whispered.
I placed my hands on her face, held her cheeks gently, and gazed into her emerald eyes.
“It's me."
~Chapter Nine~
Zoe
After leaving Cade’s apartment, I opted for the scenic route. So much happened, so fast, I needed time to catch my breath.
I found my Gemini.
And he kissed me. My first real kiss.
Sure, Eli and I shared quick pecks, but nothing like that. Nothing so powerful or passionate. So intimate.
I brushed my fingertips across my lips, reminiscing of Cade’s amazing kiss. His mouth exploring mine.
A sudden burst of tingles ran through me, settling in my Gemini mark. I turned over my wrist and stared at it.
I would revel in the moment as long as I could. Contemplate the outrageous vision I had the moment I realized this whole thing went way deeper than just this life, or the past twenty-one years.
It went back centuries, maybe more.
And it all started the day I died…
"Fear not, my love,” I whisper the best I can, my light fading away. “You will see me soon, I swear it.”
I close my eyes briefly and will my hand to move. I struggle but manage to raise it enough to reach his face one last time. He’s in pain. Fearful. Like me, but I must be strong for him. I gaze into his eyes, hoping my actions, replacing the words I cannot say, will give him some relief in my absence. Although I know it will not be much solace, it's all I can give him as I lay dying, my final breaths upon me.
“You’ve imprinted on my soul. I will always return to you…”
The memory of my death.
After Cade’s kiss, something stirred within me, and memories came crashing back.
The vision was so real, I could feel my life being sucked away. As if it were happening right then, a shattered emptiness consumed me.
But then I saw him, the look in his eyes. I felt his heart breaking. For us. And for me. All I wanted was to comfort Cade. Reassure him that I’d accept him when he came for me. I focused on his heart beating with mine to calm my nerves, and it worked. We were synced.
Twin Souls.
Now, even in his absence, I felt him with me somehow. We were connected. Bonded in a way I never believed to be possible, but there was no denying it.
That first Zoe’s words held true. Somewhere in my memories, maybe even my soul, Cade was ingrained there.
The rest of the walk home was torturous. Despite my mixed emotions about the weird epiphany, I was honestly, in a bit of shock.
Realizing all Sophie’s stories were true.
No more denial.
I still didn't know what my life held for me, or what being a Firstborn meant, but the vision of Cade's sadness as I lay dying crushed me. My first instinct was to comfort him. To protect him from his pain and shield him from mine.
It didn't make sense. If I was dying, why was I more concerned with him? Was that me? I never figured myself to be the nurturing type.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I took my time going home, knowing I wouldn't get much space at my apartment with the Genesis clan hovering. Although I now accepted Cade to be my Gemini, I had no idea how it would affect my career or my life.
Or everyone else’s.
What about Phoebe? Did I really have to let her go? I wasn't sure if it was a sacrifice I was willing to make. Did I really want to be with Cade, or was it just this overwhelming flood of emotions confusing me?
“No logic can go into choosing love.”
Cade's words rang through my mind as I strolled along the shore, staring at the boats in the harbor. My heart was never good at making decisions. That was proved with Eli.
My cell rang, stealing my focus from Cade.
“Zoe. Tell me about Sam Gaits,” Lucci’s voice echoed on the other line.
A smile spread over my face. My Infinity news had been burning in me, but I couldn’t tell anyone. Until now.
“He gave me his
card, said he’d be back. He loved the set. Said he wants to see if I’m a good fit for Infinity.” My voice trembled, dripping with excitement.
“See? What did I tell you? Didn’t I say all you needed was the right person to hear you? I told you yesterday would change your life.”
Yeah, Lucci wasn’t kidding. Only in more ways than she even understood. And now knowing for sure Cade was my Gemini, I had no idea what that meant for my career. Could I have both?
“Zoe?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry.”
“You need to focus. Eyes on the prize, my girl. No time for distractions, is that clear?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Good. Now, I want to meet for coffee soon and go over your set list for the next time Sam Gaits comes. He’ll be bringing a producer, so you have to be ready. I don’t know much about this Sam guy, we were supposed to have another scout come out. One I know, but from what I hear, Sam is also amazing.”
“Yes, whatever we need to do. I want this so bad, I can taste it.”
“Have you told the band yet?”
I hadn’t said anything to them. And now with all this Genesis stuff going on, I had no idea how this would even play out. Would I have to do this on my own?
“Ya know, I’m not sure this is what they want, Lucci. There’s a lot going on in all their lives. I don’t know if we want the same things anymore.”
“Well if that’s the case, you’re better off going solo. You can’t be tied to those who bring you down. Unmotivated humans have a way of ruining things for those like us. You need to surround yourself with others who understand you, and what you want. Like I do. Otherwise, they could ruin everything.” The line went silent for a second. “Do you understand what I’m telling you? This is about you. Live your dream.”
I sighed, knowing that especially now, this wouldn’t be so easy to pull off.
“I understand.”
“You don’t sound convinced. I need to know you’re on board here. That you want this more than anything. Did I misjudge you? Because I’m not going to invest my energy in someone who doesn’t have the stamina to see this thing through. There are hundreds, thousands of girls out there, waiting to take your place on that stage. You’ve earned your place there. Don’t mess this up.”
“I’m in.” I said the precarious words before my head had other plans. I needed this more than anything.
Cade would have to wait.
“I’m counting on you, Zoe.”
The line went silent. I shoved the iPhone in my pocket and stopped on the sidewalk, five feet from my building.
“What the hell do I do now?”
My phone buzzed again, and I pulled it out from my pocket.
Home meant either Phoebe or Rainah, and I didn't want to talk to either. I turned around and headed away from my building. Maybe a walk on the pier would do me some good.
I ignored the buzzing and continued my inner dialogue, but my phone rang twice more, and I caved. "Hey, I'm almost home."
"It's Rainah."
"What's wrong?"
“Phoebe.”
“I’m just outside, I’ll be up in a sec.” I started to turn around.
“She’s not here.”
There was only one place she’d go if she was upset. Same place I would. Somewhere I could think. Or forget. “On my way.”
I tried calling Phoebe on my way to the lounge, but she never answered. This whole thing had to be devastating to her.
I kind of knew the feeling.
I went in through the back door of the lounge. Phoebe sat on stage, playing a tune at the piano. She’d been working on it the past few weeks.
Phoebe was the lyricist to my composer, but this song was all her own.
We all wrote songs as a way to express our feelings, but Phoebe was special. A music therapy major, she had discovered her destiny.
Her music healed people. Healed me.
I came up behind her as she sang, then picked up my violin from its stand and sat down on a stool beside her.
She looked over from the piano. Her eyes were puffy. She’d been working through this. Rather than talk, we needed to play, so I followed along with my violin.
She sang under her breath.
Phoebe had such a way with words—a way of expressing emotions that I never did. That, I envied. I could compose, sing, and play any instrument handed to me, but she always said the right thing to make it complete.
I played along, listening to Phoebe sing, “I have died a thousand times…”
I stopped playing and stared over at the piano...
A rush of light streams through my consciousness, and I’m ripped from tranquility. The noises surrounding me transform into the soft beating of a drum.
Thump, thump. Thump, thump.
A heartbeat. Mine?
Where am I?
My gaze drifts about the room, then focuses on Cade’s solemn eyes.
It’s happened. I’m reborn.
I’m temporarily comforted, protected in Cade’s strong embrace. I have no idea how long I have left with him, but I want to make the most of these final moments.
I study his features, memorizing them—the angle of his jaw, the curve of his nose. His eyes and their crystal blue coloring are as beautiful as the Chayah Fountain. I snuggle into the crook of his elbow, bury my head, and listen to the thrum of his heart. It’s no longer pulsing in my wrist, and I miss it.
His heartbeat soothes me, reminds me that I am still alive, and this is not the end, but perhaps, a new beginning. For us.
If only for a fleeting moment, I’m at peace.
Cade whispers so softly, I can hardly hear. “Don’t forget me, love.”
I close my eyes as something gently presses against my lips.
"Shh—" The voice whispers as I slip away into darkness.
“I love you, Chayah. See you soon…”
I stir from the memory and lightly touched my cheek, as if his heartbeat was still pulsing beside it.
What was that? My second vision in the past two hours. Was this going to become a habit? Would memories of life with Cade continue to invade my consciousness, distracting me from my life? From my dreams?
I told Lucci I was in, so Cade would have to wait. And if he loved me like he said he did… How was that even possible? We’d just met. Although my visions said otherwise, it still felt distant. Like a movie, watching someone else’s life on a screen. I didn’t recognize my life. But he expected me to feel something?
I was so confused.
Okay, I had to stop. I came here for Phoebe.
I got up and sat beside her on the piano bench.
"I messed up." I sighed. "I got you and Remie together, and now we don't know if you can stay together."
"You know I want you to be happy, right? I want us all to be happy. You found your Gemini.” She stopped playing and turned to me, her eyes damp with tears. “Do you know what this means?"
I wasn’t sure I wanted to. My instincts, though rusty as ever, told me life as some supernatural leader couldn’t be all rainbows and unicorns.
"I won't let this change us," I said. "I promise we'll figure something out. If nothing else, I'll just… stay here. With you."
She pressed her lips closed and tilted her neck. Wrinkles creased her forehead.
"Listen, Zoe. I've stood back while you pushed love away, and any prospect of it, for the past three years. Now that you've met Cade, I know why, but I'm not sure you do." Her expression was serious as stone. "This is your chance for love. Take it." She paused, relaxing her shoulders. "You know when I met Cade, I could sense him."
"What do you mean? How?" Phoebe was an Empath and could always tell what I was feeling, but I didn’t know how far that went with others.
"His love for you. It’s the strongest emotion I've ever felt, even from Remie." She set her hands in her lap. "When we were kids and you were with Eli, I never sensed that. Only his protectiveness for you, like it was his job. But wit
h Cade, it's different." Her expression lit up. "He adores you."
Goose bumps chased over my arms.
"This whole thing is so confusing. I've been having flashes, like daydreams. I think it's memories coming back. Nothing makes any sense."
"Love never does." She laughed, returning her fingers to the piano. "You remember when you told me Remie was my Gemini?"
"Yeah, now I'm thinking I should've just kept my big mouth shut."
"Remie was the best gift I've ever been given. If it weren't for you, I never would've met him. Whether this is for now or forever, I'm grateful for our time together."
"You aren't angry? At all?”
She shook her head and continued to play.
"How is that even possible? You’re way too mature for your own good. So this Genesis thing—what if we have no choice but to leave? What then? How could you be cool about the whole thing?"
"Sophie and my parents taught me that sometimes we just have to believe in things we can't see." She stopped playing. "You've been given a gift, one you don’t quite understand the significance of, but it’s still a gift. And you only see it as a burden. I have to admit, that frustrates me a little." She returned to her song.
My stare remained fixed on the piano. Was she right? How was this a gift? I still wasn't sure, but I knew one thing. Phoebe was. She was sent to me for a reason. That, I was sure of.
“I believe in destiny. That there's some plan for us. For you and Cade. Remie and me. I may not know what it is, but that doesn’t take away my faith. I don’t care if I don’t have the Genesis mark like you guys, it doesn’t mean I have any less love for Remie. I may not always understand this plan, and I assume it’s because I’m not supposed to. But I still believe. And I won’t let anything take my faith." She sighed, as if trying to convince me. Or maybe herself. "Sometimes it's all I have."
I couldn't give Phoebe up. And I wouldn't allow her to sacrifice Remie for me either. There had to be a way around this, and one way or another, I would figure it out.
~Chapter Ten~
Zoe
After spending several hours at the lounge, Phoebe and I finally left for home.
