by C. J. Duggan
My head nearly spun off my shoulders as I threw a dirty look at Ellie, who seemed quite proud of herself.
Toby crossed his arms, uncertainty clouding his eyes.
“That’s two things.”
“What’s wrong, Toby? You afraid?” Ellie teased.
He squared his shoulders. “Fine. Done. But if I win …” He thought for a moment, flicking a quick look to Sean. “If I win, you have to supply me and the boys with a stash of pies from your mum’s shop. Freshly baked and delivered.”
Like taking candy from a baby, I thought. And then my heart did a little flip at the realisation that he must have held my mum’s pies in really high esteem.
“Shall I put my order in now?” Toby said. “The apple and rhubarb is a particular favourite of mine.”
I held up my hand. “Best not to build up your hopes, save the disappointment.”
Toby and Sean were enjoying this. In their minds, there was no contest. True, Toby could hurl me around like a ragdoll, but once he entered the water, I was lighter, faster and younger, something I would rub in after I won.
We stood on the edge of the boat, poised for the command. My heart raced as my adrenalin spiked. We gave each other a final long, lingering ‘psyche out’ look. When you chose to hang with the big boys, you had to prove your metal, earn your respect.
Sean shouted, “On your marks … get set … GO!”
I smashed into the concrete pillar with such force, waves of water carried me forward, and I had to place my hands up to stop myself from slamming into it. I knew I had won. It wasn’t by much, but it was enough. Ellie screamed and jumped for joy, dancing around Sean on the boat, who stood with his hands on his head.
“Dude!” he yelled.
Toby and I clutched the concreted ledge, our breaths ragged and our senses blurry as everything slowly caught up to us. He was a mere inches away, looking at me. I managed to smile and once I gulped in enough air, I spoke.
“Hello, slave!”
The boys were surprisingly good losers, and Ellie and I weren’t thrown overboard. Instead, after more cruising around the lake, we headed back inland and back to the Onslow Hotel for a drink.
I felt so giddy and fresh from the day in the sun with the boys. With Toby. And he hadn’t laughed at me in my barely there bikini; instead, he had looked me over with a lingering male appreciation that I was happy to get used to.
I tied the sheer, matching sarong around my hips so that the split ran along my leg. We arrived as we had left, Ellie and I trailing the boys across the grassy embankment with Sean carrying our beach bag over his shoulder.
“Aren’t you glad you wore the bikini?” Ellie whispered.
I just shrugged and played it down. I didn’t want to have to admit I was wrong, again.
“Oh come on.” She shouldered me. “Did you see the look on their faces when you took off your dress? Priceless!”
I wanted to press further; in fact, I wanted to stop her dead in her tracks and break out in song: “Tell me more, tell me more.” But her thoughts had quickly moved on.
I was interrupted by her high-pitched, ear-tingling squeal. I followed her manic gaze just as she screamed.
“Adam!”
Chapter Fifteen
Adam stood at the top of the embankment under the sweeping verandas of the Onslow Hotel.
We charged forward, running as best we could in our flip flops and wet bathers as we passed Sean and Toby. Sprinting in a direct line, we smashed into Adam, giving him a dual, fierce, bear hug.
“So I guess you’re pleased to see me, then,” he laughed.
It seemed like an eternity since I had seen him, but really it had only been a few weeks. We were finally all together, where it all began. Even if the circumstances had changed, it mattered little; it was the perfect ending to a pretty freakin’ perfect day.
The look Adam gave me as he stood back from our hug made me glance down to check I didn’t have anything hanging out that shouldn’t have been.
Nope, all in place.
Adam took a subtle step back and chose to strike up a conversation with Ellie. My excitement ebbed. Was that a look of disapproval? All of a sudden I wanted to run and grab my clothes. I felt naked, exposed; Adam had made me feel stupid just by one look.
We sat down on one of the picnic tables. I was across from him and glad of the barrier it provided between us.
I had gone quiet, I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t like Adam to judge; it was the only way you could survive a friendship that involved Ellie. We had agreed the three of us would always be a judgment-free circle, and it had always been so … until now. He had put a damper on our reunion.
Toby and Sean brought out a tray of drinks and then remembered Adam’s presence.
“Sorry, mate, did you want something?” Sean pointed to the bar.
“Ah, no thanks.” Adam seemed edgy.
You know the old saying ‘two’s company, three’s a crowd’? Well, the same applies for four’s company, five is excruciatingly awkward.
If Adam hadn’t turned up, the day would have probably ended with Ellie, Sean, Toby and I having drinks at the Onslow, reliving the day’s events with further verbal sparring and razzing. I wouldn’t feel ashamed by what I was wearing, and I most certainly wouldn’t be sitting here in uncomfortable silence tracing the condensation on my pot glass, trying to stem the tide of anger at Adam that was building up inside me.
I had been so excited to see him. I had no idea he was going to be home this soon, perhaps he hadn’t known either, or maybe he’d wanted it to be a surprise. Oh, it was a surprise alright, though it seemed more so for him.
I was itching to punch him in the ribs and ask, “what was that look for?”, but while we sat with Toby and Sean, I kept quiet.
Sean glanced awkwardly between us and started up a conversation with Adam in an attempt to diffuse the tension. He asked him how things were in the big smoke and how his arm was healing. Oh crap, his arm. I snapped out of my daze.
“How is your arm?” I managed.
They both looked at me. Adam was about to reply when Ellie cocked her head.
“What’s that scribed on your cast, some city chick’s phone number?”
“Pfft, I wish.” He twisted his cast so it was readable to us all. Scrawled on the inside arm of his cast in big, black, permanent texta was:
You’re GROUNDED! Mum xox
“Kind of a buzz kill for the opposite sex, don’t ya think?” He smiled.
I smiled to myself. Typical Adam.
Ellie shrugged. “I think casts are cute.”
“Hey, there’s Stan,” Sean said. We all swiveled around and sure enough, there was Stan through the window at the bar, talking to Chris. Ellie sat up straight; her expression may have been one of disinterest, but her body language gave her away entirely.
“So it is,” Ellie said. She pretended not to care but, oh, she cared alright.
“It was nice of him to lend us his boat for the day.” I subtly kicked Ellie under the table.
Adam picked at the frayed edge of a beer coaster.
“Now there’s a man who burns easily.” Sean took a swig of his beer and looked pointedly at Ellie. I didn’t get it. Was he saying Stan got sunburnt easily or … I don’t know. Was he being metaphorical and saying Stan was a sensitive soul who got burned in love easily? Either way it was directed at Ellie, and by the look on her face, she couldn’t decipher what he meant either.
Matching my silence, (in fact trumping it), Toby sat next to Adam, playing with his mobile, intently scowling at the screen.
“What’s up, Tobias?” Sean said. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Hmm? Oh … yeah, something like that,” Toby said, climbing to his feet. “I’ll be back in a sec.” He walked off without even looking up, only noticing Stan coming out with Chris as he dodged them.
“What’s up with him?” Stan said with a frown.
“Woman trouble.”
Stan and Chris groa
ned as they made themselves at home on the picnic table bench.
A spike of jealousy ran through me as I pictured Toby speaking to Angela on the phone at that exact moment. She would ask him what he had been up to, and he would shrug and say nothing, and that every waking moment without her was torture and please come home soon. Okay, so maybe it wouldn’t be exactly like that, but my imagination was my nemesis so I zoned out in a cloud of misery.
I caught Adam staring at me, that quizzical frown back in place as he studied me. Seriously, what was his problem today?
“So!” Stan began. “Seeing as though I busted my rump today helping my old man, he agreed that we could have the shed tonight for some extra-curricular festivities.” Stan addressed us all, but his lasting gaze was on Ellie, checking her reaction.
“Are you actually going to show up at this event?” she said icily.
He tipped his drink to her. “Yes, ma’am. Gonna crank up some tunes and dust off the old pool table.”
“Shweeeeet!” Sean sing-songed.
“Ladies?” Stan asked.
Ellie replied enthusiastically on our behalf, but my inner conscience was thinking about what my mum and dad would think about going to a twenty-two-year-old’s party until all hours. I had been out all day and the details of my whereabouts had already been sketchy at best. I hadn’t mentioned the Onslow Boys to my parents; I didn’t think they’d understand. To them, boys (aside from Adam) were all after one thing: to deflower daughters, get us pregnant and ruin our lives. My parents had nothing to worry about in that area. Seeing as though I was still most likely the last living virgin in Onslow and surrounding regions, I was pretty safe.
But I really wanted to go to this party.
After a while, my heart sank as I realised Toby wasn’t returning to the table. I didn’t want it to end on such an anti-climactic note. It had been the perfect day. I thought dreamily about the way his hands had glided over my skin, how he held my wrists with such gentle strength, or of when he placed his hand against mine, smiling at the difference. He had been so animated, so lively, more so than I had ever seen him. Maybe that was the way he was with his mates? I rarely saw him uninhibited. I doubt it was due to anything I did; sure, he gave me a look over when he saw me in my bikini, but so had Sean. They were guys and that’s what they do; it didn’t mean anything.
But Toby wasn’t like the other boys; he seemed reserved, quiet and respectful – aside from throwing me overboard, but I liked that side of him, his playful side. And then I envisioned him throwing Angela overboard, and all of a sudden I didn’t like that side to him nearly as much.
The Onslow Boys said their goodbyes and said they would see us tonight.
“Hey, Ellie,” Stan said as the boys headed towards the door, “can I talk to you for a sec?”
She sighed deeply, but I knew she was secretly delighted.
This left me and Adam, who sat directly opposite me, giving me a strained smile. Oh, no you don’t, I thought; there was something underneath that facade that bothered me, and I had to clear the air.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“Like what?” His eyebrows shot up, like he was genuinely surprised.
“As if there’s food on my face and it turns your stomach.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to say a look of disgust?”
“Is that what it is? I disgust you?” My voice rose.
“Oh God, Tess, no … Jesus, keep your voice down,” he said, glancing around. “No, that’s not it at all.” He looked forlorn.
“Then what is it?” I demanded.
“It’s nothing, you’re just paranoid.”
“Don’t give me that, I know you well enough to know every single one of your looks, and I have never seen that one before, so spill.”
By now the coaster in Adam’s hands was shredded into a million tiny pieces, and he was staring at his little pile of cardboard when he offered a low, casual, one-shouldered shrug.
“You look different, you seem different.”
I was taken aback, was he serious? I straightened.
“I’m not!”
“Yeah, you’re right, okay, good, I’m getting a drink.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, “back it up, buddy, don’t think you can bail on this. What do you mean I’ve changed? We’ve barely spoken to each other, how can you gather that?” Had the city pollution warped his brain?
He brushed bits of coaster off his hands.
“Don’t mind me, I’m just tired. I only got back this morning and I’m beat.”
“So, guess you won’t be going to the party, then?”
He scoffed. “Party? You’re a real party goer now,” he said sarcastically.
He was really starting to tick me off.
“Well, how’s about you go and take a nap and wake up on the right side of the bed before you come and see me again.” I got up to leave, but he followed me.
“Tess, come back, don’t be mad.”
I swung around to face him “Don’t! God, Adam, this the first time I’ve seen you in ages and this is how you act?”
He stared me down. Yeah, this wasn’t going anywhere.
“You know, I was actually looking forward to you coming home, but I didn’t think you would make me feel …” I broke off looking out at the lake.
“Feel what?”
God, wouldn’t he take the hint and leave me alone? I cut him a dark look.
“Make me feel bad about myself.”
His brows rose as if I had dished out a physical blow. Good.
I turned, chin held high, and strode away.
Chapter Sixteen
After the long, agonising walk home, I shuffled my flip flops across my front lawn and thought to myself how heat stroke can make you delirious.
I stood in the open doorway of the fridge, basking in the coolness that poured over my overheated, sweat-sheened skin. I greedily downed a bottle of water. It was a good thing that Mum and Dad were out as I made my way to peel off my bikini, ever grateful to be rid of it as I headed for the shower.
I let the lukewarm cascade of delicious clean water wash all the sand, sunscreen and sweat from my body. What a disappointing, frustrating end to what had been such an amazing day. Adam’s distance, Toby disappearing without so much as a “catch ya later”. No, he had to leap to Angela’s beck and call. I was grumpy and tired; maybe there was something to Adam’s claim of fatigue making him act strange towards me.
But I wasn’t in the mood to make excuses for him. I was now too busy trying to think of my own excuses, if I was going to get to Stan’s party tonight. I sat on the edge of my bed, the towel wrapped around me. I had darkened at least two shades today, with a slight tinge of red that I hoped was my temperature and anger and not sunburn. It was nearing on 6 o’clock, and Mum and Dad would be home any minute. I was pretty beat. Did I even feel like going to the party? Did I just want to crash and wallow? You bet I did. I had dressed myself in my cut-offs and spaghetti strap navy singlet when the phone rang.
“Where are you?” Ellie all but shouted down the phone like a pissed-off parent.
I yawned. “Home.”
“I’m coming over.” The line went dead.
I groaned and flung myself back on the bed. And so would begin an array of predictable events.
It would start with “What are you wearing? We have to get our stories straight, what’s wrong with you? What do you mean you’re not going? Of course you’re bloody well going!” and so on until I gave in and just went to the party.
My head pounded already.
There was little time to corroborate stories before my parents got home. I felt bad about the half-truths I was feeding them of late but I needed to have some sort of fun over the holidays, it just happened to involve a twenty-something-year-old’s party. A twenty-something-year-old boy. This wasn’t going to be easy.
Mum and Dad had just pulled into the drive when Ellie rocked up in her Sunday best. She radiantl
y beamed a smile at my parents and chit-chatted pleasantly with them. If only they knew what happened as soon as my bedroom door was closed, and she flipped her backpack off, the contents vomiting onto my bedspread. She all but cried a war chant as she stared me down and started whispering about tonight’s plan of attack.
My parents seemed happy enough that Adam was back in town and that we had plans to meet up with him. Those usual occurrences meant late nights watching DVDs at one of our houses. We didn’t give the specifics, but I told them I would have my mobile on me. They just told us to have a good time. With an “I’m not sure what time the movies will finish” I was curfew free. Mum and Dad were usually in the deep stage of sleeping by the time I crept through the door. Not that I had made a habit of it. And this was the first time I felt the pang of guilt, because usually what I had just said was the truth.
I folded my make-up bag and choice of clothing in Ellie's pack; we would go via her place for the change so as not to raise any questions. Ellie’s mum was a nurse and on night shift, so we could be in and out undiscovered. Ellie’s dad would barely glance up at us, especially if the cricket was on. I had always thought her incredibly lucky to be given such a free rein, but now, the lack of attention they paid her made me kind of sad.
“So has Adam been filled in on our plan of deceit?” I asked rather unenthusiastically.
“He has and he is going to meet us there.” Ellie looked at me side on as we walked along the street.
But I didn’t offer any reaction. I half expected her to ask what was going on between us but either she didn’t want to pry or she was way too distracted by Stan and his impending party to worry herself with the drama. I was betting on the latter. She talked animatedly about Stan, and how he had apologised again for not coming. Said he’d make it up to her. I’d tuned out by the time we crossed McLean’s Bridge.
The plan was to rendezvous at the Onslow Hotel, before wandering off to Stan’s later on. It felt surreal and a bit intimidating walking up the grassy embankment, even though we had been there only a mere hours beforehand. This time the sun had dimmed and the fairy lights lit the eaves above the picnic tables that were now occupied by a mass of people, enjoying the music from within. We had never been here when we weren’t working. Never been ordinary patrons. I felt as if I didn’t know what to do with my hands, as if I should be reaching and collecting empty glasses on the way in. We were stared down by a group of older girls, and were cast a wink and a smile by a guy we brushed passed; some older gents nodded “Ladies” as we weaved our way to the bar.
