by Leanne Davis
Jessie decided she’d behaved herself long enough. What was the point? She’d never get a look from Will like Lindsey got. She only received Will’s sympathy, and pity, because of what he knew about her. She was not offered Will’s friendship.
She shrugged off the oversized, black, knitted wrap that covered her. Underneath was a tight, red tank top that hung low over her bigger than usual breasts. They were swollen to porn star measurements now. Their cleavage was deep and suggestive. The tank stopped short over her expanding stomach. Her low-cut black pants gapped two inches of skin. The tank top read, How do you like mama’s milk? Lindsey noticed it first, and her eyes got big, the look of disgust settling over her features. She turned to shun Jessie. The couples across the room quit talking and silence descended over the previously chatty room. Will glanced down and shifted his feet as he sighed.
“Put the wrap back on,” he said calmly and quietly into her ear.
“It’s too hot.” She stuck her tongue out for effect.
Will glanced at Lindsey, then back at her. He didn’t smile, but nodded at her. He’d already seen Senator Johnstone, but he didn’t know about Sans. “I’m well aware of the temperature. Now put it back on.”
“No. What are you going to do? Spank me?”
“Put the wrap back on. Please.”
She heard the edge in his tone, and the disappointment. Even worse, the embarrassment on his face when he looked Lindsey’s way, as if to… what? Ensure that Lindsey’s genteel sensibilities weren’t corrupted? Jessie reluctantly picked the wrap back up and put it over her. The room’s silence made her want to crawl into a hole. She couldn’t make eye contact with Will.
Will looked every inch the handsome, responsible, up-and-coming officer. He seemed much older than she, and respected, where she was cheap and trashy. Surely, he’d hate her now, and leave her, to wander back to his heart’s real desire: her beautiful, classy, smart, innocent sister.
Instead, he put a hand on her back. Warm and broad, his five fingers rested on her shoulder, then slipped down to her waist. He enveloped her, surrounding her. She was pretty sure Will had never fully put his arm around her, but he pulled her next to him. He was fully erect. His eyes were riveted on Senator Johnstone.
Then they were directly opposite the couples and her father. Will politely said the required greetings, removing his arm from Jessie to shake hands, kiss the wives’ hands, and engage in meaningless chit-chat. In between it all, he easily spoke with her father, remaining as courteous, diplomatic, wonderful, and charming as any man she’d ever known. She stared at the carpet, her shame reddening her face, but her tongue was mute. How could she have embarrassed herself this way?
The senator’s lecherous, old eyes were fastened on her cleavage, which still peeked over the tie of the wrap. She had the fleeting urge to pull them both out and say, “Fine, have a good look!” Will left her side for a moment, admiring her father’s beloved medals. When he came back up behind her, he put his arms around her waist. She was startled to find his face near hers. He never held her like this before. Why was he now? Especially after the stunt she just embarrassed him with.
He entwined his fingers, which felt large and warm as they moved over her stomach. What was he doing?
“So has the general told you our good news?”
What good news? What was Will saying?
Lindsey watched them, her face going pale. The rest of the room looked on politely quiet, even though it was made quite obvious by her stunt, as well as the t-shirt, that she was knocked up.
“Jessie and I are expecting. We’re quite excited about it, aren’t we, honey?”
Honey? Will avoided calling her by her first name. Why was he doing this?
He pulled her closer to his chest. She could feel his body along her back. A strange flutter went through her at his close proximity. Oh God, was he pretending they were a normal couple in announcing she was pregnant? As if he were happy about it?
Actually, what he was doing was protecting her from herself, as well as the stunt she just pulled, and the mistakes of her past, even from her sister. Why was he doing this for her? She didn’t know. But she knew she didn’t deserve it.
There were sweet little exclamations from the wives of the two men she’d slept with on multiple occasions. Then, her father, acting as if he were privy to their blessed news, came forward, shaking Will’s hand, and hugging her. Her father hugged her. She was so stupefied, she nearly tripped as he pulled her into his embrace.
Her father left the room, and returned with champagne, as if to spontaneously toast his upcoming grandchild. Jessie thought she might be sick again at his feet.
Will’s hands were again on her, and he pulled her closer to him. His eyes were on hers and he bent his head low, his lips touching the skin by her ear as he said, “It’s almost over. You’re okay. I’m here. I won’t let them hurt you.”
She bit her lip to hold back the tears that were steaming up her eyes. Why was he doing this for her? Why did he care so much? He didn’t even like her. Was he really such a good man? So honorable? Did he always have to do the right thing?
Them. Will said he wouldn’t let them hurt her. She looked into his eyes and saw he knew. He knew there was more than one Senator Johnstone in her past.
****
When Jessie’s shoulders slouched, Will saw he pushed her too far. He should never have made her come here. The tank top was the least he expected from her. The tank top was her crazy way of saying Fuck you! to all the men in the room who stripped away her innocence, and took away every chance at a normal life for her, leaving Lindsey to inherit the best. He wasn’t disgusted, as he knew she expected, or embarrassed. He was heartsick for her. With her size double D breasts and siren red lipstick, Jessie strove to look like a nasty fantasy. But instead, to Will, she appeared as she truly was: a lost little girl, so victimized in her young life, she didn’t know how to heal.
He only married her to protect her. Then he kept her at arm’s length, because he was too embarrassed to say he got her pregnant. He took pride in his sense of discipline and honor. And now, just two months into his marriage, his wife looked twice that in her gestation. Combined with the short duration that they’d known each other, it was easy to predict that people would be doing the math. He dreaded the pity, and knowing glances strangers would try to hide from him, as well as Jessie. Everybody would think she simply seduced him. He couldn’t stand or take the hypocrisy of it all.
How could anyone miss the desperate, pleading, calls for love and acceptance that Jessie sent out like flares on a sinking ship?
He only held her at arm’s length because he knew too much. He knew what an emotional, vulnerable, nearly broken girl she was or fast becoming. He also saw in that moment, while watching Jessie face two of the men who so easily took advantage of and raped her, per her father’s compliance, that his heart was breaking for Jessie with more than pity.
He put his arms around her to literally hold her up. As he touched her, and felt her small body against his, he knew why he was so careful not to touch her before.
He actually cared about her.
That would inevitably lead to touching, and to sex, which was something Jessie had no real feelings about. A gasp that nearly stopped his heart and felt more like a punch suddenly hit him. He was falling in love with her. Every heartbreaking, shattered inch of her. Fuck. It was not in the plans for him to fall in love with his pregnant wife.
Chapter Sixteen
“Why didn’t you mention how far you were willing to go with this?”
Will turned when he heard the general’s voice behind him. He was standing beside the wet bar, looking for some ice to add to his drink. “What do you mean, sir?” He felt like choking on the “sirs” he had to say to the corrupt general.
“That was brilliant in there. Announcing the pregnancy like that. Not an ounce of disgrace to it. We should contact the media. Do some kind of photo spread of you two, in love, having a baby
, Jessie’s hero. Just think of it.”
“I don’t want you doing anything of the sort. This pregnancy is our business.”
The general’s eyes narrowed. “Why the tone?”
“No tone, sir. Just looking out for my wife.”
“Wife? It was my idea.”
Will bristled. “She’s a young, vulnerable, pregnant girl who was raped. If you think I take that lightly, you don’t get me at all. I mean it when I tell you to tread softly where she is concerned... sir.”
General Bains stiffened. “Watch yourself, soldier, I don’t like what you’re implying.”
“Not implying sir, just stating.”
General Bains looked into Will’s eyes, and Will looked right back, his expression stoic, and even more soldier-like. The general straightened. He was starting to comprehend that Will knew. He might even know everything. The general’s charm, bullying, and authority kept everyone from knowing the general’s secrets, but finally, someone had seen through it all. In an instant, Will went from being the general’s favorite problem solver, to the traitor the general would most keep his eyes on.
Will stepped closer. “No media about Jessie.”
“Don’t give me orders, soldier.”
“No sir, just making clear what I expect for my wife. You understand.”
“She’s not really your wife.”
“She is. She is really my wife. Sir.”
The general glanced over Will’s shoulder as Lindsey walked in.
“Sorry to disturb you. I was getting some coffee for the senator. Maybe you should go out there, Daddy. Jessie’s with them. No telling what she’ll say.”
Daddy Bains turned and left. Will watched the retreating figure of the man he once considered a hero. A leader. A man among men, someone Will hoped to one day emulate. Now, he wanted to wash his hands after touching the other man’s.
Lindsey walked over to the coffee pot, letting her hair swing across her face. Will watched her busy herself by arranging cookies on a tray.
“Lindsey?”
She ignored him.
“What is it? Why are you so angry with me?”
Lindsey suddenly threw down the cookies. She whipped around, wiping at tears in her eyes. “Why are you doing this with her? You acted like you liked her, like she was really your wife. I thought you knew. How can you act like that with her? After the tank top episode. I just don’t understand how you can pretend like this. I thought—”
“I understand her. That’s the thing, you don’t. She doesn’t want you to either. I can’t get a handle on this sibling rivalry that both of you insist on perpetuating. You think you’re so innocent, don’t you? Well, you deliberately avoid seeing the pain she’s in. You purposely ignore how your father belittles her. Jessie shouldn’t have done the things she did at sixteen, but she wasn’t created in a vacuum. Why don’t you just once, Lindsey, ask Jessie why she is how she is?”
Lindsey pushed her hair behind her ear. “She did it. Somehow, she managed to pull her ‘poor me’ innocent act with you too. I thought you were better than that, but obviously, I was wrong. Enjoy the rest of your life being embarrassed by her. You heard, didn’t you? About the private she took to your apartment? Do you know what they say about her? Or what a fool she’s turning you into amongst the ranks? They know she’s knocked up, and that’s why you married her. They know she seduced you in Mexico. They know she’s already cheated on you. What does that say about you? About her? I felt sorry for you, and almost admired your chivalry for doing the right thing by her. But now, maybe you deserve each other.”
Will stepped closer, touching Lindsey’s arm with his hand. “I’m sorry if I caused you any pain. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t intend for any of this to happen, and the funny part is, Jessie didn’t either. You just don’t know all the details.”
Lindsey turned towards him. “Be better than her. Don’t let her do this to your life, to your career. She’ll destroy you. I know she will, and I can’t stand it.”
Will shook his head. “Don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself. The one who can’t is your sister. Let me go, and find someone else. You know, as well as I do, that after your sister, nothing more can happen between us.”
Lindsey’s eyes flashed. He liked Lindsey. She was who first caught his eye. But she wasn’t who held his attention, not anymore. For whatever reason, Jessie evolved from being his misbegotten charity case, to a woman he needed to protect. No longer could he lead Lindsey on, or let her think that someday he’d turn from Jessie to her.
There was a sudden intake of breath behind him. He rolled his eyes to the top of his head. Jessie was standing there. Listening. No doubt, she had been shamelessly eavesdropping for a while. He squeezed Lindsey’s arm, then let her go. She turned back towards her unfinished cookie platter.
Will looked at his wife and saw reproach and a look of total horror in her eyes. It was as if she just caught him with Lindsey spread-eagled beneath him on the kitchen floor. She had no idea of the truth: he and Lindsey were quietly letting each other go.
But then again, Jessie never did anything quietly.
He crossed his arms over his chest. “How long have you been listening? Next time, why don’t you let me have a little privacy?”
She started to speak with her eyes flashing. The expression on her face was very similar to the one she had right before exposing her offensive tank top. He stepped forward, and put a hand up before she could speak. “Don’t bother. Let’s bid our goodbyes, it’s time we went home.”
She walked politely behind him, and he thought he could feel the daggers she wished she could throw into his back. He went around the room, kissing wives’ hands, while shaking the hands of their husbands with lots of banal cliches and goodbyes. He and the general pretended to give each other hearty, macho, good ol’ boy farewells. No one but they could see the flash of intense scrutiny with which they regarded each other. Both recognized the trouble Will knew he was stirring up.
He took Jessie’s arm, and led her out of the room to his truck. She got in without a word. Her silence was his punishment. He sighed, got in, and backed out of the general’s driveway. They were halfway home before she finally spoke to him. He was surprised she lasted that long.
“Aren’t you going to say anything about the tank top?”
Will eyed Jessie. She looked agitated as she tugged on the top, which was now dipping even lower beneath the black wrap.
“Like what? Gee, I never realized what great tits you had?”
She gasped and Will laughed. “Will!”
“What? You didn’t think I noticed? Or wouldn’t comment? You’ve been trying to get me to notice you since you met me. So there you go, I noticed. I commented. Just like every other man. Now are you going to try and manipulate me too?”
“I meant because I was so, you know, offensive.”
“You know that I know what you were doing. You don’t have to explain it to me. But that’s what so frustrates you, isn’t it? You can’t fool me. You can’t shock me. You can’t pretend with me.”
“I just wanted to annoy Lindsey.”
“I think you accomplished that fairly well. I also think you’re crying out for Lindsey to notice you. Instead of offending her, why don’t you pick up the phone and call her?”
“I don’t need or want my sanctimonious sister or her advice.”
“Yes, you do. And you were even more worried that I did too.”
“I heard you two. You were in there touching her. Talking in low voices to each other. Like people who are intimate act. You’ve had sex with her, haven’t you?”
“No. We went on a few dates. And we kissed once. That’s it.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He laughed. “You don’t have much of a leg to stand on regarding fidelity now, do you, Ms. Bains?”
She didn’t answer, but crossed her arms beneath her large, pillow-like breasts. They were truly amazing.
He parked the tru
ck in the driveway. Neither of them made a move to emerge from the safe, shadowy interior of the truck. She turned away from him.
“Are you okay? That was awful in there. Those men. Your father. I know, Jessie. I know how awful it must be for you.”
She finally, slowly turned her head towards him and tears glistened in her eyes. He leaned over, took her hand, and pulled her closer to him. He pulled up the sleeves of her black sweater and saw the bright red tracks of her fingernails on her wrists.
She tried to pry her hand loose, but it was easy for him to keep hold of her. Carefully, gently, so as not to hurt her, he brushed his fingertips over the ugly red gouges. They had to burn. Wasn’t that the point though?
“Your father found out tonight that I’m not exactly complying with him like he thinks. I had to, Jessie. He wanted to go to the media with another fake story about our wonderful pregnancy. I told him to tread carefully around you. No more media. Needless to say, he figured out that I know things. We’re going to have to be careful.”
She looked up at him. “I’ve never had anyone stand up to him.”
“I’m sure to be sent on missions again. I can feel it. Your father is going to do everything to keep me out of here, away from you. We’ll have to do something different. You can’t stay here alone again, or unprotected. I didn’t comprehend how dangerous the general is. Believe me, I won’t underestimate that again.”
“You really think it’s that serious?”
He put her arm up to her face. “This is that serious to me. Yeah.”
“What do you mean by something different?”
“I’m not entirely sure yet.”
She stared straight ahead. “Why are you helping me? You should hate me. You were forced into this entire situation. You hate who I am. How I am. You’d be with my sister now if it wasn’t for me, and you and I both know that.”
“Doesn’t matter how we got here. What matters is I’m here now. Let it be enough.”
